Chapter 18

With a shaking hand, Buffy poured a glass of water. Water spilled down the sides of the cup and onto her shoes. When she brought it to her mouth, more of it got on the front of her shirt than down her throat.

"Are you ok?"

Buffy's forced smile looked like a grimace of pain. "I'm fine. Water?"

William shook his head. "No, no I'm fine."

"How do you know?"

William's brow furrowed. How did he know he was fine? Oh wait. "I…I felt him. I felt him leave, and when he left, it felt like I was being ripped in two."


Buffy took several deep breaths until she calmed down. "He was actually there?"

William nodded.

"And what did he do?"

"He killed all the vampires."

Before Buffy could ask another question, Wes entered the room. "Is he awake?"

Buffy stepped aside and allowed Wes to move up to the side of the bed. He studied William carefully, observing each mark, bruise, and bite. Some were small, some were large, but all of them were vicious. William was bandaged in several places where the skin and flesh had been ripped from his body completely. Beside him, the heart monitor beeped calmly, and the various IVs dripped steadily.

"Hello," William greeted, and the calm, quiet voice coming from the mess on the bed nearly made Wes jump.

"How are you feeling?"

"Numb."

Wes nodded. He probably had more painkillers in his system that some people see their entire lives. He glanced at Buffy. "Spells?"

Buffy nodded. "He's covered. He already looks better."

This is better? "Buffy, can you step out in the hall? We need to talk."

Buffy nodded. "William, I'll be right back."

He shook his head slightly. "Take your time. I'll be fine."

As soon as the door shut behind them, Buffy spilled what William had told her. Wes listened raptly, but if he was surprised by her revelation, he didn't show it. He waited until she was finished before he said anything.

Buffy expected him to say something about Spike, so she was surprised when he said, "It'll take something drastic for him to heal."

"I don't know how we'll get him to heal. I can't think of anything drastic enough."

"Why do you think Spike saved him?"

"I…I don't know. But I think he took the decision out of my hands."

"Because he chose to save William?"

"Exactly."

They lapsed into silence, and Buffy could practically hear the wheels turning in Wes's head.  "I need to go talk to Giles and Angel about it first…but I think I have an idea."

"What?"

"If Spike was in that room, he wouldn't be so close to death, would he?"

"No, he'd probably be nearly healed by now."

"Exactly."

"I'm not following you."

"We know that Spike can take over his body, yes? We know that Spike can be channeled into William. So why not take advantage of that?"

Realization dawned on Buffy's face. "Do you think that'll work?"

"I intend to find out."

~*~

Dawn resented the fact that everybody was going out of their way to keep her away from William, and she especially hated the fact that they weren't giving her opinions any weight. She didn't appreciate the fact that she was stuck at home, while William was across the city, possibly dying. She busied herself by tidying his room, and when she was done there, she flopped in front of the TV.

Xander was still there. He hadn't gone home, and she didn't ask him what he was doing. Buffy probably told him to keep an eye on her, or something equally insulting and stupid. Dawn wondered what Buffy would freak out about when she finally turned 18 and left. The thought temporarily distracted Dawn—what would Buffy do when she left? Buffy had mentioned going to school a few times, but she never made any concrete plans. This troubled Dawn more than she wanted to admit. For the first time she realized just how lost her sister truly was, without a single direction or goal past surviving until Dawn had graduated.

"Hey Dawnie."

"Hey."

"Buffy asked me to stay," he said apologetically.

"That's fine. But you don't have to."

"No, I want to be here in case…"

"In case what?"

Xander shrugged, "Nothing. Nothing."

"It wasn't nothing, Xander. What were you going to say?"

He sighed. "In case we get some bad news."

"I didn't know you cared."

"I care about you. And I can see that you obviously care about William."

"I do," Dawn admitted. "He's grown on me. Do you think we're going to get bad news?"

"No. Not with Buffy on it. She wouldn't let him die. They'll think of something."

"When Buffy called she said he looked pretty bad."

"I imagine he did," Xander conceded. "But that doesn't mean he won't make it. He was out there for a long time. He may look worse than he really is."

"I guess so."

"Do you want to watch a movie?"

"Not really."

"Yeah, me neither."

"How have you been, Xander?"

"I've been good. A little bit lonely though."

Dawn nodded, but didn't say anything. It stood to reason that he would be lonely. "You never come over anymore."

"I guess without pain and terror we kind of grew apart."

"There was more to the Scooby gang than pain and terror," Dawn reminded him.

"I know. How about this? When the excitement finally settles down, we'll have a dinner and a movie night. Just the four of us."

"Five," Dawn corrected.

"Just the five of us," Xander amended.

The phone rang then, screeching in the silence. Dawn dove to answer it. "Hello?"

"Dawn, hey. It's me. I'm not coming home tonight, and I need you to do me a favor."

"What? Is William ok?"

"William is…alive. Can you clean his room and wash his sheets?"

"Sure."

"Make it as clean as possible, ok?"

"No problem. When will you bring him home?"

Buffy sighed. "I don't know. Soon. We have to do something, to try something…we don't know if it'll work."

"Is he going to be ok?"

"Of course, Dawn," Buffy soothed. "Of course. We're just looking into ways to make him get better faster. Is Xander still there?"

"Yeah."

"Let me talk to him."

"Ok." She silently handed the phone to Xander.

"Hey, Buff."

"I need to talk to you Xander. So listen up…" As she spoke, Xander's eyes widened and his hands grew clammy.

~*~

"So how are we going to break this to William?" Willow asked.

"As gently as possible," Buffy said. "Though I'm not entirely sure what to tell him."

"The truth," Giles suggested.

Buffy turned worried eyes to her old watcher. "Are you sure this is going to work?"

"I'm sure," Giles promised.

"But what if it doesn't?"

"It's a chance we'll have to take," Wes interjected. "William's vitals are…"

"I know," Buffy said softly. "I know. We're losing him."

Since William had first opened his eyes, he had grown more and more weak. His pulse was decreasing at a slow, but steady rate. His blood pressure was falling. His breath was coming harder,  shallow. He was holding onto consciousness, but just barely. They needed to act fast, and she needed to explain their plan to him as soon as possible.

"Do you want me to come in with you?" Angel asked.

Buffy shook her head. "No, I need to explain it to him alone. He doesn't…."

"I know, Buffy. He trusts you."

"Right." She squared her shoulders and walked purposely to his room. "Right."

He greeted her with a slight nod and a cough when she opened the door. She immediately handed him a glass of water, and he took it gratefully. "How are you feeling?"

William shook his head sadly. He gestured to his throat to indicate that he couldn't speak. Buffy's heart twisted. With a gentle hand, she wiped some blood that had soaked through his bandage and began to drip down his neck. More precious blood that he could not afford to lose. The only way to save this body was to kill it…

"William, I need you to listen to me carefully, ok? We think we have an idea of how to heal you, but we can't do it unless you agree to it."

He nodded.

"When Spike saved you, your body was stronger, right? So strong that he could kill all those vampires, even though you were badly injured. The reason for that is because when the demon takes over the body, it uses powerful animating magic. This magic can make a weak body strong, and a sick body well. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

He nodded.

"We have a spell…one of the many that we've received. This spell will allow us to channel Spike—that is, his demon—into your body."

William's eyes widened as the implication of her words set in. He had survived only to be discarded. It was clear from the expression on her face, however, that she thought this was the right thing, and so he held his broken heart in check. He had been so happy to see her again, had tried to hard to get to her again…he didn't want to leave her. But if this was how it had to be, then he would not fight them. He nodded.

"William, I know what you're thinking. I'm not getting rid of you, or sending you away. We can bring Spike back long enough to heal your body, to make you strong and well again, and then…"

Her voice caught as she realized the implications. And then he would be gone again. And then she would lose him again. And then she would be alone again. With a deep, shuddering breath, she pushed those thoughts aside. Spike had already made this decision—he saved William. He said William wouldn't have to die. Buffy wasn't about to lose him now, the only innocent in this mess.

"And then, he'll leave, and you'll be back."

"No…Buffy."

"Shhh, don't try to speak. You aren't strong enough. We've thought about this a lot, William, and we just don't think you'll make it any other way."

"Don't want…to…hurt you."

She shook her head. "You won't hurt me. We're going to put you to sleep now, William. When you come back, you'll be as good as new."

Wes, who had been waiting in the hall, entered the room there armed with several charms that would work for the spell. Buffy gripped William's hand as Willow entered the room and began to chant.

"Buffy?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

Then his eyes were closed, his face lax, and for all the world, he looked like a dead man.