The Blood Boat-Chapter Two: Olivia has no memory
Author notes: Now some have you have been reviewing and leaving notes of concern about the destruction of this so called character, Olivia. I would just like to specify that in no terms is Olivia anything but a FICTIONAL CHARACTER.*cough, cough*.As this is a humour/horror fic, we have every reason to loathe this character, as we have purposely made her a boring, fat, ugly stalker with no friends and no life but to stalk random members of the public. We think that our character should go out and get a life, personally.
"What do you mean, I'm a fictional character?" Olivia whined." Do fictional characters get to stalk more people?"
Rick O Connell gaped, at a total loss. However, luckily the random hot magi guy from The Mummy, Ardeth Bay, voiced his opinions.
"We must destroy the creature and save our (and everybody else's!) souls,"
"But-Oh, alright then," Rick fired a rally of shots at Olivia, who screamed when she realised.
"You must looovvvveee me!" She grated. "Don't you love me?"
Imotehp randomly appeared in front of Olivia. "Oh, god, Its so ugly!" He cried in ancient Egyptian, his only language.
Jonathon waved his golden stick and looked confused. "Which is the mummy and which isn't? And why are we randomly inserted in this fic?"
(E.d-to cause Olivia as much pain as usual)
"Oh, thanks for clearing that up," Jonathon said gratefully. "Come on then, chaps, destroy the creature, chop chop!"
Olivia lay in a sobbing heap. The random characters from The Mummy had left, believing they had succeeded in killing 'the creature'. Little did they know that what they had been dealing with was much, much worse than The Mummy.
Thomas Andrews was walking along the deck, humming to himself when he tripped and fell over Olivia.
"Yes," Olivia shrieked in her annoying monotone. "I've finally landed myself a man, after all these years of stalking!!"
"Forgive me, miss, I didn't see you there, I-Oh god, it's you again. Where you born like that?" Thomas took a few steps away, just in case what she had was catching.
"Born like what? A totally irresistible babe?"
"Oh, so you're a woman are you?" Thomas realised how insulting he must have sounded. "So-so hard to tell these days, really".
As Thomas Andrews is really a top whole, irresistible spunk rat, he decided to make an effort to be nice to Olivia. "Will you-join me for dinner- tonight?"
"Oh, Thomas, you're my dream prince," Olivia latched her teeth onto Thomas's trouser leg. "I'm never going to let you go, for the rest my life,"
Thomas made an alarming figure coming into the dining room that evening, Olivia had kept to her promise and still had her teeth attached to his trouser leg, weighing him down, and letting herself be dragged along as he walked.
"Evening, Thom-Oh my GOD!" Bruce Ismay jumped back a few metres. "What in the name of all that is holy is that?"
"Bruce-I'd like you to meet-err, Frankenste- I mean, Olivia".
Just when Thomas had started to believe that he would never be free of the horrible appendage-like creature that had latched herself onto him like a leech, the most terrifying, stalkerish, ugly leech in all of leech history, three figures entered pushed open the dining room doors and came striding in.
People stopped eating and stared. They were teenagers, and the girl flipped her hair as she came in.
"Good lord, is that Harry Potter?" Olivia croaked, releasing her grip on Thomas as she opened her mouth, who immediately ran outside and threw himself off the ship, intent on swimming back to land, anywhere that Olivia wasn't.
Olivia barely noticed. She had new prey now.
Author notes: Now some have you have been reviewing and leaving notes of concern about the destruction of this so called character, Olivia. I would just like to specify that in no terms is Olivia anything but a FICTIONAL CHARACTER.*cough, cough*.As this is a humour/horror fic, we have every reason to loathe this character, as we have purposely made her a boring, fat, ugly stalker with no friends and no life but to stalk random members of the public. We think that our character should go out and get a life, personally.
"What do you mean, I'm a fictional character?" Olivia whined." Do fictional characters get to stalk more people?"
Rick O Connell gaped, at a total loss. However, luckily the random hot magi guy from The Mummy, Ardeth Bay, voiced his opinions.
"We must destroy the creature and save our (and everybody else's!) souls,"
"But-Oh, alright then," Rick fired a rally of shots at Olivia, who screamed when she realised.
"You must looovvvveee me!" She grated. "Don't you love me?"
Imotehp randomly appeared in front of Olivia. "Oh, god, Its so ugly!" He cried in ancient Egyptian, his only language.
Jonathon waved his golden stick and looked confused. "Which is the mummy and which isn't? And why are we randomly inserted in this fic?"
(E.d-to cause Olivia as much pain as usual)
"Oh, thanks for clearing that up," Jonathon said gratefully. "Come on then, chaps, destroy the creature, chop chop!"
Olivia lay in a sobbing heap. The random characters from The Mummy had left, believing they had succeeded in killing 'the creature'. Little did they know that what they had been dealing with was much, much worse than The Mummy.
Thomas Andrews was walking along the deck, humming to himself when he tripped and fell over Olivia.
"Yes," Olivia shrieked in her annoying monotone. "I've finally landed myself a man, after all these years of stalking!!"
"Forgive me, miss, I didn't see you there, I-Oh god, it's you again. Where you born like that?" Thomas took a few steps away, just in case what she had was catching.
"Born like what? A totally irresistible babe?"
"Oh, so you're a woman are you?" Thomas realised how insulting he must have sounded. "So-so hard to tell these days, really".
As Thomas Andrews is really a top whole, irresistible spunk rat, he decided to make an effort to be nice to Olivia. "Will you-join me for dinner- tonight?"
"Oh, Thomas, you're my dream prince," Olivia latched her teeth onto Thomas's trouser leg. "I'm never going to let you go, for the rest my life,"
Thomas made an alarming figure coming into the dining room that evening, Olivia had kept to her promise and still had her teeth attached to his trouser leg, weighing him down, and letting herself be dragged along as he walked.
"Evening, Thom-Oh my GOD!" Bruce Ismay jumped back a few metres. "What in the name of all that is holy is that?"
"Bruce-I'd like you to meet-err, Frankenste- I mean, Olivia".
Just when Thomas had started to believe that he would never be free of the horrible appendage-like creature that had latched herself onto him like a leech, the most terrifying, stalkerish, ugly leech in all of leech history, three figures entered pushed open the dining room doors and came striding in.
People stopped eating and stared. They were teenagers, and the girl flipped her hair as she came in.
"Good lord, is that Harry Potter?" Olivia croaked, releasing her grip on Thomas as she opened her mouth, who immediately ran outside and threw himself off the ship, intent on swimming back to land, anywhere that Olivia wasn't.
Olivia barely noticed. She had new prey now.