Okay… first of all: thank you. Thank you thank you thank you thank you… for all the reviews. 37… I'm not sure if I believe that…

Note! Originally this wasn't supposed to be the real fourth chapter, but kind of a side-fic for this fic. Anyways, things changed. There's an OC in this chappy, but don't let that bother you, I can promise you that she's not a Mary-Sue. This takes place years after Anzu run away from her home (mostly, that is, it begins just after she left). In this fic, she has a sister (let's says she's about 9 years old in the beginning), and this is in her pov. Since Anzu's name means apricot, I decided to call her Rika, which means pear blossoms. (And the connection between apricot and pear blossoms is naturally clear to everyone… First I thought about peach or something like that, but they didn't sound like names in Japanese. Learned one thing when I was trying to come up with a name though: Sakura means cherry blossoms.)

Disclaimer: …I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. Just believe me… Rika belongs to me, though. Too bad for her…

Oh yes, I used again a song by Maija Vilkkumaa in this. The song's called Ei (No). (And I don't own it!)

Chapter 4

"What does she… leaving like that… It's so…"

"Indeed, but… try to calm…"

I can hear their voices to the outdoor and that doesn't bode well. Mommy seems to be quite upset… Nothing new in that, of course. She's been upset all the time since Anzu left week ago.

"Calm down! How am I supposed to calm down when my daughter does something like this!"

I wince. That could have probably been heard on the street… I fidget by the doorway, wondering if this is a good idea. But there's really nothing to lose… I glance at Kyoko and Suchiko who are standing on the pavement, hoping they didn't hear Mommy screaming. They gesture impatiently to me, 'go now!' I nod at them and almost turn to get in when I see a butterfly flying across the garden. It's really pretty, like a little fairy… I look after it for a moment.

If you are a fairy, would you please help me in this?

The sunbeams make its wings to shine softly, and as I look at it carefully, slitting my eyes, I think that I see some little glistening particles falling down from them… It has to be fairydust! (1) It is a fairy! Smiling, I wave at my friends and step inside.

They are in the living room. Mommy's sitting on the couch and Daddy's pacing around in the room. Mommy's breathing really hard, I wonder if she's okay… It takes some time before they notice me, and I'm just glad about it. Gives me time to decide what I'm going to say to them…

Suddenly Mommy looks up. "Rika! Where have you been? Oh… good that you're home now, anyway… Why don't you go to do your homework, your father and I have to talk… about things…"

I smile at her a little hesitantly. "I've already done my homework, Mommy. I… um… my friends are going to the beach, it's so beautiful weather, and I thought that… uh…" Mommy's frowning. Not a good sign. "Can I go with them?" I blurt out quickly.

She sighs. "No."

"But…"

"I said no! You're too young to go alone to the beach…"

"My friends are going too!"

She frowns again. "By 'alone' I mean without any adults." I open my mouth to protest, to say that my friends' parents don't think that they are too young (and Suchiko's almost twelve!) but before I can say anything Mommy continues.

"I can't help it if your friends' parents are so irresponsible that they don't care about what their children do, but you're not going."

Damn. I hate it when she reads my mind like that…

But I'm not going to give up so easily this time. "Please, Mommy…" I try to give her the most pleading look I can manage but it has no effect.

"No is no. Besides, I don't like that place. There are all kinds of people who go to beach… If you have done your homework you could revise history a little bit… You're not doing as well as you could in it.

Revise history! No way. I'm about to complain about that, when Daddy pats me on shoulder. "Just do as your mother says. She's been under great stress lately, be a good girl and don't cause her more worries."

I sigh. "Yes, Dad," I mutter. This is hopeless. I shuffle to the outdoor to tell my friends I can't go with them.

I close the door and watch through the window as Kyoko and Suchiko walk away. It's not fair! "I hate you, Mom," I mutter under my breath, but just then I hear her voice again from the living room. She sounds to be all but crying now, and immediately I feel quite horrible. Shouldn't be saying things like that about my mother…

I tiptoe to the living room's door to do some eavesdropping.

"Left like that… just one phone call…" I can barely make out what she's saying from her sobbing. She's still sitting on the couch and Dad's sitting beside her, a hand placed on her shoulder.

"Calm down, honey," I hear him saying. "It isn't good for you to get so upsetIt's no use, Mommy doesn't even seem to hear him.

"My girl, running away… How can she do something like that? Doesn't she understand what she's doing to her life? Didn't even finish her education… She could have really been something! Now she's alone in the world… How will she ever survive? It's such a dangerous place, the world…"

She pauses for a moment to sob a little more, and Dad pats her shoulder. "Now there, take it easy…"

Suddenly Mom bounces on her feet. "Runs away, after all we've done for her! That ungrateful child! Well, she'll come back, some day, when she notices that it isn't so easy to live on her own in a foreign country! She'll, come back, you'll see…" She walks to the window, stares intently out of it, as if everything she sees outside was potentially dangerous. "For now," I hear her mutter," we have to take care of the daughter we have left. I am not going to let this happen to her."

Suppressing a sigh I slip away from the doorway and run to my room. Life's going to be difficult for some time…

–

(Seven years later)

Moving around in my room I try to be as quiet as I can. So far, all's well. Luckily Mom's a sound sleeper… I'm dressed, make-up's ready, there's some money for the taxi in my bag… I take one final look in the mirror. Doesn't look too bad… That new eye shadow really did miracles on my chocolate brown eyes. And the ponytail was a good decision too, after all… First I wanted to have something more trendy, but it looks good on me… it's kind of carefree. I push one loose strand behind my ear. A little darker brown than Anzu's was… For a moment I freeze where I'm standing. Anzu. Big sis. You just had to go and leave me to deal with this alone, didn't you? Although I can't really blame you… I have agood mind to do the same.

I have the mind, but not the heart.

Ever since Dad died three years ago, Mom's been really… Let's just say she hasn't been well. Dad's death was really hard on her, she had even a minor heart attack then… I can't leave her too, then she'd be all alone… I wonder if you know that he's dead. I hoped that you'd show up in his funeral, but I guess I should have known better…

Enough with these thoughts. I'm late as it is, I have to be going now. Good thing that Mom always goes early to bed, I haven't missed that much of Suchiko's birthday party yet. One final look at the mirror and I step to the door and turn its handle.

The door doesn't open.

What…?

I push the door harder, but nothing happens.

It doesn't open.

I don't believe this.

"Damn…" I bang the door hard in my anger. What the hell does she think she's doing! "Open up!" I shout at the door, hitting it with my fist.

"Rika? What's happening there?" Mother's voice sounds muffled and sleepy.

For a moment I consider remaining silent, but I'm too angry for that. I can't believe she has really locked me in my room. Shouldn't have asked her permission to go to the party in the first place… she probably guessed what I was going to do.

"Why the hell is my door locked?" I shout at her.

"Just to protect you, honey," I hear her voice from the corridor. "So that you wouldn't get any strange ideas to leave out in the middle of the night."

Middle of the night? It's five past ten… "What if I have to go to toilet?" I ask, suddenly feeling quite defeated.

"Why, just wake me up, honey. Do you have to go to toilet now?"

I sigh. "No, Mom." I turn away from the door and walk to the window. My room is in the second floor, and there aren't any trees or anything else I could use to leave that way. After a while I hear her voice again. "Good night then, dear."

I remain silent.

–

I don't believe it. I can't believe it.

I lay awake for many hours in my bed, different ways to run away, each wilder than the other, popping up in my mind. Finally I must have drifted into sleep… Now it's morning, and the sunbeams entering my room from between the curtains woke me up. And I still can't believe it. Lying on my bed I eye the door angrily before getting up and walking to it.

You'd better be unlocked now…

Slowly I place my hand on the handle and push down. Yes, it does open. Good for you, Mom.

I walk directly to the kitchen. Mom's sitting by the table, eating her breakfast. When she notices me she looks up from her coffee, smiling brightly. "Good morning, honey."

I almost shake my head in disbelieve. She's simply amazing sometimes…

"What are you waiting for?" she asks, when I remain standing by the doorway. "Help yourself some coffee and sit down." Still smiling.

Slowly I walk to the coffeepot and pour some coffee in a cup. Now… what's the best approach… I look at her carefully when I sit down on the other side of the table. She looks… normal. Just the same as on any other morning.

"Mommy…"

Damn, what am I going to say? 'You know, I'm really pissed about you locking my door so that I missed Suchiko's party?' Maybe that's not the best way to put it…

She looks at me again. "Yes, dear?"

I sigh. "I think that… maybe it was a little exaggerated that you locked my door last night…"

She smiles at me again. "Oh, don't think about it, dear. I just wanted to be sure that you're safe. You're not so little anymore… you're nearing the age when your sister… left…" her voice trails off and I suppress a second sigh. Anzu, Anzu, Anzu… did you have any idea about what you were doing to me when you left?

"I wouldn't have run away, even if the door had been open," I say a little gruffly. Well… at least I wouldn't have run away permanently.

"Yes, yes… of course not, honey," she says and takes a sip of her coffee. I know that expression, and I know that there's no point to continue this. But I'm still feeling quite angry, and I'm not half the way finished.

"I don't understand why you didn't let me to go to Suchiko's party last night. She's my best friend, I really wanted to be there. And don't tell me it was to protect me…"

"But it was, honey. We talked about it yesterday, do you remember?"

Oh yes I do, all too well…

"Those parties are dangerous. You never know what kind of people there could be…"

"'What kind of people'… Suchiko's friends, and mine! I might understand your attitude if I had wanted to go to a nightclub or something like that, but the party was at Suchiko's home! And I could have slept there so that I wouldn't have had to come home late…"

I'm slowly getting kind of a déjà-vu feeling… Mother sitting in front of me with an unwavering expression, me trying to get her permission for something… We've gone through this discussion so many times that I'm wondering why I even bother anymore.

But this is different. My best friend turned eighteen and I missed her party… all because my mother is paranoid.

"Why can't you understand that I'd want to go somewhere sometimes!" I yell as I jump on my feet. My coffee cup tips over and a brown river runs towards the table's edge, but I don't give a damn. Surprisingly Mom doesn't seem to care about it either. Did she even notice it? She open's her mouth to say something, but I cut her off.

"And don't say anything about your tea parties, they most definitely don't count! Is it really too much to ask to get to go somewhere, even once? I can't live my life as a prisoner!"

There's a burning feeling in my eyes, and I realize that I'm close to tears. I run away from the kitchen, to my room; I don't want her to see me crying.

As I run, I hear her soft voice behind me.

"It is dangerous… You can't go, same thing will happen to you as to your sister… the world will take you away from me…"

I slam the door of my room shut after me.

–

(Two weeks later)

I'm alone in a big house, walking in long corridors. All the lights are down but still I manage to see around me. There are lots of doors and stairways, nothing but doors and stairways, and I walk through them, climb them up and down… but I don't get anywhere. Behind every door I open, there are only other doors, after running the stairs up I can see nothing but more stairs… If I found a window, I might be able to jump out through it, but there are no windows, only doors and stairways. All leading to nowhere…

There has to be something somewhere, there has to…

Ahead of me I suddenly notice a door that looks different from all the others. I walk to it and open it hesitantly. No more doors, thank God, only a little room… I step in to get a better view of it. Looking around I realize that there's something familiar in it… something… Hey, wha… this is my room! How could I not recognize it immediately? I walk to the window and look out, although I know that the ground is all too far below for me to jump down.

Through the door behind me can still be seen the dark corridors I was walking a moment ago, but the view outside is perfectly normal. I can see two little girls walking away from the house and there on the steps is one girl more, looking after them… Wait a minute. That girl's me. And those other two… they are Kyoko and Suchiko! What…?

The girl on the steps turns around to get inside. No. Don't do it. Don't go in… "No! Don't! Run away! Go to the beach with your friends!" I shout at her, hit the window as hard as I can - why didn't it break? - but it doesn't help, she doesn't hear me.

"No!"

All sweaty, I wake up in my bed.

For a moment, feeling quite disoriented, I stare at the ceiling, and then roll on my stomach.

Damn I hate nightmares.

I look at the door, not wanting to get up and open it. Maybe there'd really be only other doors behind it… Yes, I know, that's ridiculous, but… Then I remember. Even if I wanted, I couldn't open it. Mother's made a habit of locking it every night. With a sigh I turn to look at the window. The sky is clear and I can see some stars to my room. Under them the trees of the garden sway gently in the wind. I can see part of the ladders the workmen who repaired our antenna used… they should have carried them back to the garage, mother's not going to like… Ladders. By my window.

In a matter of seconds I'm standing by the window. Yes, the ladders are so close that I could use them… What time is it? Ten past eleven, that's not so late… the evening's still young.

It doesn't take me long to dress up. Black trousers, that new shirt I bought… didn't think I'd get a chance to use it this soon… make-up… some jewels… and maybe…

Okay, okay… slow down girl.

I sit in the front of my mirror to make the make-up a little better. I have to look old enough to get in… I cut off the thought. Where am I going, anyway? I look at myself carefully. Yes… I might pass for an eighteen-years-old. Luckily I'm quite tall… I feel excitement stirring inside me. This night's going to be something great.

–

It was surprisingly easy to get in. I was sure the quilt was shining from my face when I walked in, but no one stopped me. Now I'm sitting in a little table, drinking something called Alexander. It's not too bad, Suchiko's favorite drink. My first time in a club… I try to keep a triumphant grin away from my face.

"Hi." I give a little start as someone sits down by my table.

"Mind if I sit here?"

I look at him carefully. Not any bad looking boy, with his raven black hair and… I slit my eyes trying to make out the color of his eyes, but the club's too dimly lit.

"They're blue."

I blink. "What…?"

He smiles, really charmingly, I have to admit. "My eyes. That's what you was trying to find out, right?"

I blush a little, hoping that he won't notice it, too. "Maybe…" I shrug trying to look nonchalant.

He laughs. "Your drink's almost finished. Can I buy you one?"

I pretend to consider it, toying with my straw. "Why not," I finally say.

He gets up and walks to the bar desk.

–

There's something heavy on her breast, something… She's still half asleep, and wonders idly whether there is someone sitting on her and why…

She blinks slowly, trying to wake up. Something heavy… Breathing is difficult, it… Suddenly she's wide-awake and feels horror creeping deep into her veins. No, not again…

She tries to shout, but her throat is dry and it's difficult to make a sound.

"Ah…"

It's starting to hurt, really hurt…

"Rika!"

The shout is desperate but there's no answer.

"Ri… Rika…!"

Suddenly she remembers. The door's locked. She can't come, even if she wakes… For a moment the horror's grip of her heart tightens. …But she can call for help with her cell phone… Why doesn't she answer?

"Ri… ka…"

–

You know, he's really a nice boy. That has to be third drink he's bought for me now… I think… And he talks about so funny things. I can't help but giggle all the time… I'm starting to feel quite lightheaded… actually I've felt like that for a loooooong time…

It's really wonderful how clear everything's around me… I thought that alcohol was supposed to make things dizzy, but nooooo… I can see, hear, taste, feel so much better now than ever before. Wonderful feeling… It's as if I were part of the music, I can feel it so… so… for a moment I concentrate only on the music. God, I love this… Did he say something? I giggle. Missed it… I stare at his eyes. Yes, they are blue, I can see it now… incredibly blue… How is it possible for something to be that blue?

He pats my hand and I smile at him, trying not to giggle again. I have a feeling that I giggle too much. It's so blue… and all the other colors are so bright too… soooo bright… Red, yellow, green, orange, blue, pink, blue again, blue… All the colors start to dance in my eyes, merging together. That's so beautiful… I don't hear the music anymore, and I have a vague feeling that I'm falling, but so what… It's so beautiful… Is someone holding me? Is he holding me… in his arms? I giggle again. Beautiful colors…Totally lost the way you came, rainbow color day… (2)

"…what's…"

"She just fell…"

Someone's shouting… Why are they shouting when there are so many beautiful colors…? I try to tell to them to be quiet and look at the colors but my tongue feels thick and it doesn't obey me… Doesn't matter, I can't really hear them anymore, only some words, vaguely familiar, but I don't recognize them…

"Where's that guy who…"

"…going on?"

"…ambulance?"

"…is coming, just…"

Beautiful colors, so beautiful… Stay with me… …Was that my thought…? Beautiful… C'mon girl, hold on…

The colors… all the beautiful colors… they're getting darker… darker… turning black… Black…

Black.

–

The pale moon on the night sky is slowly getting covered with clouds; soon all the light on the quiet streets will come only from the streetlamps. The houses are silent and dark too, everyone's sleeping. Through one window, though, comes a soft beam of light, so faint, that it can barely be seen from the street. The window is open, and the wind tugs the end of a curtain that's hanging out of it. In that room there's an unmade bed, clothes thrown all over the floor, and a little lamp on the table with the light on. Someone has clearly left in a hurry. In the neighbouring room there's a lonely figure lying on the floor; it seems that she has been trying to crawl to the phone, but has not got far. The moon has not yet disappeared completely in the clouds, and its beams lighten the face of the fallen figure. Her eyes are closed, but her mouth is half open, and it is as if she were trying to say something.

Just before the clouds eat the moon away, soft words escape her lips. "No, don't… go…"

Okay, well… I don't think that I have any comments for that one… It demanded to be written!

Oops… I almost forgot, had some references there:

(1) Talking about fairies I couldn't help thinking about Fairydust… So, if you haven't read that fic by Pikachumaniac, do it now. It's one of the best fics I've ever read. Seto/Ryou, but don't let it bother you if it isn't your favorite pairing (it's different of course if you hate shounen-ai… ).

(2) That's from… some song… I think. It just popped into my mind suddenly, don't know where it came from…