(Cal waiting in the main room on their floor. Nitz walks in)
Nitz: So your really gonna go through with it, hey?
Cal: (Dressed in his suit to be the Calster) Yep. I have nothing to hide. Besides, if she doesn't believe me, I can just give her some sex.
Nitz: Your going to sleep with the inspections agent?
Cal: Yeah, I'm sure she's a pretty lady anyways. Everybody loves Cal.
Nitz: What if its a guy Cal?
Cal: (Pauses for a long moment as it all sinks in, then suddenly he gasps and has a horrified look on his face)
(A man walks in dressed formally. He walks up to Cal.)
Man: Are you Cal?
Cal: (Whimpers as he nods)
Man: (Smiles) I'm the inspections agent. Call me John. (He friendily sticks out a hand to shake.)
Cal: (Looks at the hand confused, then jumps in the mans arms with a big hug. The man pushes him away in disgust.)
Nitz: (Groans)
*
(There is a gathering of students around Gimpy who stands at a podium)
Gimpy: All right men. We have a problem. Apparently we don't classify as an 'official' residence. By this time tomorrow, someone will come from Teckerson Tech to determine if we can take refuge here any longer. (Points to Mump) Mump will be out RA. Mump, by tomorrow you must have taken the test, learned everything there is to know about being an RA and make yourself presentable. Everyone else, clean this place up and make sure we are in no violation of any rules. I want your quarters cleaned, the deck sweeped and (Cringes) the anti-aircraft turrets taken down until further notice
All: (Gasps)
Gimpy: We must all make sacrifices, in this, our darkest hour to attain the freedom we have all dreamed of. Everyone! To your battle stations!
(Everyone get up and runs about there duties. Music playing as everyone cleans and Mump locks himself in his room reading up everything at the RA website. The turrets are dismantled. Students look at a broom and mop nearby with some confusion and get online to take lessons in using it.)
Gimpy: (Rubs his hands together) Excellent.
*
Nitz: (In his room at the computer. Cal walks in)
Cal: (Whimpering)
Nitz: Didn't go so well?
Cal: (Settles down on his bed) I'm the Calster and Cal. I can't go back to being just Cal.
Rocko: (Bursts in) Stupid chicks. Where the hell am I supposed to live now. (Rocko sits down on Nitz's bed)
Cal: And I just don't understand how to deal with guys guy (slurp)
Rocko: If only someone could help me get into that fraternity, I'd do anything!
Cal: I wish I knew someone who got along real well with guys.
Both: (Sigh)
Nitz: (Smiles) Why don't you two help each other?
(Cal and Rocko look up at each other curiously)
Cal: (Big smile) Yeah guy! we can help each other! Yay!
Rocko: Yeee! I think I might just find another frat. Later Nitz.
(Rocko gets up and leaves the room. Walking down the hall, he looks into a room where a whole bunch of girls are sitting and reading. Suddenly, they start laughing and pick up pillows and start hitting each other.)
Rocko: (Drooling) Oh yeah.
(They start falling on each other, and all look up at the same moment.)
All girls: C'mon in Rocko!
(Rocko extends hands like a zombie, but before he gets there the door slams)
Rocko: (Shaking his head) Aw man. (Looks back at door. Cal is standing in his usual pose. Rocko takes another look back at the closed door.) Alright you pud, get over here.
Cal: (big smile, walks over)
Rocko: You help me out first, then I'll help you deal with this guy, got it?
Cal: Thanks guy. (Gives Rocko a big hug. Rocko throws his hands in the air determined to touch Cal as little as possible)
*
Gimpy: (Showing a stern looking man around the deck wearing a "Techerson Asses!" jacket and his men all doing the same) And this is where we obediently attend our online classes each day, learning together as a single unit. Tech Representative: And what about your RA?
Mump: (Comes out wearing a dress robe with huge circles under his eyes) I'm right here sir.
Tech Representative: (Cocks an eyebrow) I see. What is your name?
Mump: I am Mump the RA.
Tech Rep: I see. I don't think your in my RA directory
Mump: (Sleepily) Well thats cause I just got it thirty seconds ago. I just took the test online. I'm a certified RA.
Tech Rep: Where is your certificate?
Mump: It's still printing out.
Tech Rep: Alright then. (Turns to Gimpy) Well, you do have all the official showings of a residence, ironically. Although you do realize this is the first time someone has ever set up a residence off shore?
Gimpy: We like to get away from the shores to make our leaning experience as effective as possible.
Tech Rep: I see. Well, mind showing me around a little more.
Gimpy: No trouble at all sir. Go tech!
(The man leaves ahead of Gimpy, and he gives a thumbs up to the rest of the crew)
~ Commercial
Nitz: So your really gonna go through with it, hey?
Cal: (Dressed in his suit to be the Calster) Yep. I have nothing to hide. Besides, if she doesn't believe me, I can just give her some sex.
Nitz: Your going to sleep with the inspections agent?
Cal: Yeah, I'm sure she's a pretty lady anyways. Everybody loves Cal.
Nitz: What if its a guy Cal?
Cal: (Pauses for a long moment as it all sinks in, then suddenly he gasps and has a horrified look on his face)
(A man walks in dressed formally. He walks up to Cal.)
Man: Are you Cal?
Cal: (Whimpers as he nods)
Man: (Smiles) I'm the inspections agent. Call me John. (He friendily sticks out a hand to shake.)
Cal: (Looks at the hand confused, then jumps in the mans arms with a big hug. The man pushes him away in disgust.)
Nitz: (Groans)
*
(There is a gathering of students around Gimpy who stands at a podium)
Gimpy: All right men. We have a problem. Apparently we don't classify as an 'official' residence. By this time tomorrow, someone will come from Teckerson Tech to determine if we can take refuge here any longer. (Points to Mump) Mump will be out RA. Mump, by tomorrow you must have taken the test, learned everything there is to know about being an RA and make yourself presentable. Everyone else, clean this place up and make sure we are in no violation of any rules. I want your quarters cleaned, the deck sweeped and (Cringes) the anti-aircraft turrets taken down until further notice
All: (Gasps)
Gimpy: We must all make sacrifices, in this, our darkest hour to attain the freedom we have all dreamed of. Everyone! To your battle stations!
(Everyone get up and runs about there duties. Music playing as everyone cleans and Mump locks himself in his room reading up everything at the RA website. The turrets are dismantled. Students look at a broom and mop nearby with some confusion and get online to take lessons in using it.)
Gimpy: (Rubs his hands together) Excellent.
*
Nitz: (In his room at the computer. Cal walks in)
Cal: (Whimpering)
Nitz: Didn't go so well?
Cal: (Settles down on his bed) I'm the Calster and Cal. I can't go back to being just Cal.
Rocko: (Bursts in) Stupid chicks. Where the hell am I supposed to live now. (Rocko sits down on Nitz's bed)
Cal: And I just don't understand how to deal with guys guy (slurp)
Rocko: If only someone could help me get into that fraternity, I'd do anything!
Cal: I wish I knew someone who got along real well with guys.
Both: (Sigh)
Nitz: (Smiles) Why don't you two help each other?
(Cal and Rocko look up at each other curiously)
Cal: (Big smile) Yeah guy! we can help each other! Yay!
Rocko: Yeee! I think I might just find another frat. Later Nitz.
(Rocko gets up and leaves the room. Walking down the hall, he looks into a room where a whole bunch of girls are sitting and reading. Suddenly, they start laughing and pick up pillows and start hitting each other.)
Rocko: (Drooling) Oh yeah.
(They start falling on each other, and all look up at the same moment.)
All girls: C'mon in Rocko!
(Rocko extends hands like a zombie, but before he gets there the door slams)
Rocko: (Shaking his head) Aw man. (Looks back at door. Cal is standing in his usual pose. Rocko takes another look back at the closed door.) Alright you pud, get over here.
Cal: (big smile, walks over)
Rocko: You help me out first, then I'll help you deal with this guy, got it?
Cal: Thanks guy. (Gives Rocko a big hug. Rocko throws his hands in the air determined to touch Cal as little as possible)
*
Gimpy: (Showing a stern looking man around the deck wearing a "Techerson Asses!" jacket and his men all doing the same) And this is where we obediently attend our online classes each day, learning together as a single unit. Tech Representative: And what about your RA?
Mump: (Comes out wearing a dress robe with huge circles under his eyes) I'm right here sir.
Tech Representative: (Cocks an eyebrow) I see. What is your name?
Mump: I am Mump the RA.
Tech Rep: I see. I don't think your in my RA directory
Mump: (Sleepily) Well thats cause I just got it thirty seconds ago. I just took the test online. I'm a certified RA.
Tech Rep: Where is your certificate?
Mump: It's still printing out.
Tech Rep: Alright then. (Turns to Gimpy) Well, you do have all the official showings of a residence, ironically. Although you do realize this is the first time someone has ever set up a residence off shore?
Gimpy: We like to get away from the shores to make our leaning experience as effective as possible.
Tech Rep: I see. Well, mind showing me around a little more.
Gimpy: No trouble at all sir. Go tech!
(The man leaves ahead of Gimpy, and he gives a thumbs up to the rest of the crew)
~ Commercial