Keep Away from the Bad Mary Sue' by Technetium
(Run-Around Sue' by Del Shannon)

Here's my story, sad but true,
It's about a girl known as Mary Sue.
It's suspected Morgoth gave her birth
To torture every guy in Middle-Earth.

Strange violet eyes and silver hair,
Guys fall in love with her skin so fair.
Listen canon characters, I'm telling you
To keep away from the bad Mary Sue.

She battles Orcs in a fancy gown,
Joins the Fellowship, keeps Gimli down.
She has a tragic past, magic jewelry, too,
That evil wench known as a Mary Sue.

Ohhhh, keep away from that girl,
She's a fangirl, true blue,
Keep away from Sue.

Someone finds the Sue and calls the PPC,
A group that's for canon purity.
Jay and Acy show up in disguise,
Kill the Sue and save the guys.

Here's the moral of the story from the people who know,
If you're a Tolkien fan, then Sue's your foe.
If you don't want the PPC after you,
Never write a bad Mary Sue.