I Wanna not PPC,' by Rhysdux
(I Wanna Talk About Me' by Toby Keith)

I tell you you can't spell, and your grammar's gone to hell.
Your punctuation is a crime—you should be in a cell.
Your random capitalization is driving me insane.
Can I implant some homonyms inside your useless brain?
You mix up and confuse for some more,
The Netspeak that your Sues all shriek makes reading this a chore.
Canon you disregard, cause it's fiction, no holds barred!
And I hate to say that reading this has left my poor mind scarred.
You know I try to help those who write Sues,
But sometimes want to choose:

Wanna read a good fic,
Wanna read a good tale,
Wanna read something that
Won't make me wail!
Something good, something right,
Something canonical for me.
I endure your Sue-Sue-Sueing usually.
But occasionally:
I wanna not PPC!
Wanna not PPC.

You write of your Sue's magic and her past, forlorn and tragic--
You tell me she's half-unicorn, or maid from realm pelagic.
You show her having sex in a manner to perplex,
Mating with ev'ry species to Tyrannosaurus Rex.
Your Sue's got attitude? Me, I just think she is rude,
I don't wanna hear Hermione or elf-maids saying Dude!'
And gods help me if I say that this needs some work, okay?
You'll cry and sob and scream and flame me into yesterday.
I like helping those who want to learn,
But sometimes I yearn:
Just to read a good fic,

Just to read a good tale,
Just to read something that
Won't make me wail!
Something good, something right,
Something canonical for me.
I endure your Sue-Sue-Sueing usually.
But occasionally:
I wanna not PPC!
Wanna not PPC.
Wanna not PPC