Ok here is my lil disclaimer. If you are a fan of any house besides Slytherin, especially Hufflepuff, don't get offend at the sorting hat song. Also, sorry about the cursing, but the song needed it. Anyway you'll see, please review!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 2- Do they have anger management for hats?
Harry, Ron and Hermione got off the train just as it started to rain. Hermione kept throwing Ron nasty looks every time he looked her way.
"First Years! Would all of the first years please make their way over to Bubbles so Bubbles can take you across the lake"
"WHAT?!?" screamed Hermione
Harry, Ron and Hermione all turned around to see not Hagrid but a house elf taking the first years across the lake.
"Where is Hagrid"
"I dunno"
"Why another house elf! This is horrible!!!"
"Yes horrible, blah blah blah, come on Hermione we're not going to get a carriage"!
"Ron I'm starting to wonder why you even joined S.P.E.W"
"Maybe it's because-"
"Are you guys coming or not?" said Harry as he jumped into the last carriage left
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Five minutes later they got out of the carriage and walked into the castle.
"I'm soaking wet!" said Ron "Grr I hate rain!"
"Would mister like Pinky to dry him off sir?"
"What?"
Harry nudged Ron in the ribs and pointed down. Another house elf wearing a pink skirt and a black shirt was stand beside Ron with a towel.
"Erm...no..a ..no thanks"
"Are you sure mister? Pinky doesn't want him to stay wet"
"No really I'm er- fine thanks"
"If your sure" said Pinky as she walked away
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Harry, Ron and Hermione arrived at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall to see their fellow Gryffindors talking about the sudden outburst of house elves.
"Yeah, it's weird but I reckon they will be useful"
"Oooh! Maybe they can do my homework!"
"Do you think they can braid hair"
As they sat down Hermione shot nasty looks to everybody who seemed excited about this.
"Hey Harry, Ron, Hermione"
"Hi Dean. Have a good summer?"
"Not too bad you?"
"It was all right" said Harry honestly
Just then Professor McGonagall entered the hall followed by the first years. But she was just leading them, she wasn't holding the stool, Dobby was.
"Look Harry, it's Dobby!" said Ron
"I know, this is very odd"
Harry was about to ask Hermione what she thought when he realized the sorting hat had already started it's song.
"Come and try me on you lil shit
Once I put u in a house, haha thats it!
I decide to which house you belong
I'll laugh as your're miserable all year long!
If you think your a 'super hero'
but your friend count is almost zero
U sometimes win fights with a lot of luck
When I tell u you're in Gryffindor, you're u'll say F--K!!!
If you like to study
And you blood isn't muddy
Ravenclaw house you'll enjoy, I swear
If you don't you better say a goddamn prayer
If u r a goddamn f--king dumbass half hoe lil piece of goddamn shit ass mother f--king loser who needs to a get goddamn life and stop being so f--king happy you goddamn idiot----sorry I got a little carried away....
So if you are nice
And would be friend some mice
You cab be in Hufflepuff
And buy a doggy that says ruff!
If your are 1 whom Salazar would fave
You get to be in the house w/ hot Draco the babe
In Slytherin, you'll know how to smuggle
And you'll also learn how 2 hate and kill a muggle!
So there we have it, I am done
I hope you blind you little eyes while looking in the sun
So till next year when I sort some more
Please go buy me a lil hat whore!"
Everybody in the hall stared at the hat until they remembered they were supposed to be clapping.
"I think the hat is a little, erm angry this year, don't you think?" said Ron as he forced himself to clap
"Just a bit" said Harry
"Do you think they have anger management for hats?" said Ron laughing"
"Probably not" said Harry with a slight laugh "I reckon he's mad a Dumbledore, I mean why else would be saying all those mean thinks about Gryffindor?"
"Oh I know why" said Nearly Headless Nick as he sat down across from them
"Why Nick"
But before Nick could answer Professor McGonagall was started the sorting
"I'll tell you when the sorting is done" whispered Nick as "Brock,Lorena" was sorted in Hufflepuff
Harry kept looking at the line of first years, hoping for the line to get smaller and smaller. Finally there were only five left.
"Phoenix, Jason"
"GRYFFINDOR!"
Harry clapped along with the whole Gryffindor table
"Sparrow, Stacey"
"SLYTHERIN!"
"Turner, Gabrielle"
"GRYFFINDOR!"
Once more Harry clapped along with the rest of the Gryffindors, hoping that the sorting would end already.
"Volkmann, Melissa"
"RAVENCLAW!"
Finally Professor McGonagall called "Watson, Lauren"
Harry looked up to see a girl with dark red hair approaching the sorting hat, not looking nervous at all. Just as he was thinking she'd be a Gryffindor the hat shouted "SLYTHERIN!" and Harry saw her run over to the Slytherin table and sit down next to Malfoy.
"So Nick, will you tell us now?" asked Ron
"Oh yes. Dumbledore wanted to have-" but he broke off as Dumbledore stood up.
"I have many thinks that I would like to say, but I am too hungry to talk now. Tuck In."
"Here Here!" said Seamus and Dean
"So where was I? Ah yes. Professor Dumbledore asked for a House Elf to come and take the hat out of his office because the Ord- well you know what, was having a secret meeting there. But of course the hat wasn't happy about that. So ever since the meeting the hat has been in a foul mood to Dumbledore." finished Nick
"Nick" said Hermione unexpectedly
"Yes Miss Granger?"
"Why are there tons of house elves all of the sudden? How come Hagrid didn't take the first years across the lake"
"I believe the Professors thought the school needed more help"
"What! Why?"
"I do not know" said Nick who seemed oddly amused at Hermione's interest in house elves "You'll have to find out for yourself"
About an hour later the food cleared and the hall grew silent as Dumbledore rose to make his speech
"Hello and welcome to another wonderful year at Hogwarts! I am sure the older students may have noticed a few changes. I am of course talking about the house elves"
Dumbledore's eyes lingered on Hermione for a moment as Ron and Harry exchanged glances trying to not laugh.
"I ask that you treat them all with kindness and respect.."
Hermione smiled.
"..and if you need anything they will be happy to get it for you."
"What?"
"Oh come off it Hermione, that's what they are for!"
"Ron I can't believe you! I need to speak to Professor Dumbledore this is outrageous!"
Hermione kept talking until they Dumbledore finished talking and dismissed everybody.
"I'll see you later" she said as she marched up to the staff table
"I think she has officially lost it" said Ron rolling his eyes "Come on, let's go"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 2- Do they have anger management for hats?
Harry, Ron and Hermione got off the train just as it started to rain. Hermione kept throwing Ron nasty looks every time he looked her way.
"First Years! Would all of the first years please make their way over to Bubbles so Bubbles can take you across the lake"
"WHAT?!?" screamed Hermione
Harry, Ron and Hermione all turned around to see not Hagrid but a house elf taking the first years across the lake.
"Where is Hagrid"
"I dunno"
"Why another house elf! This is horrible!!!"
"Yes horrible, blah blah blah, come on Hermione we're not going to get a carriage"!
"Ron I'm starting to wonder why you even joined S.P.E.W"
"Maybe it's because-"
"Are you guys coming or not?" said Harry as he jumped into the last carriage left
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Five minutes later they got out of the carriage and walked into the castle.
"I'm soaking wet!" said Ron "Grr I hate rain!"
"Would mister like Pinky to dry him off sir?"
"What?"
Harry nudged Ron in the ribs and pointed down. Another house elf wearing a pink skirt and a black shirt was stand beside Ron with a towel.
"Erm...no..a ..no thanks"
"Are you sure mister? Pinky doesn't want him to stay wet"
"No really I'm er- fine thanks"
"If your sure" said Pinky as she walked away
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Harry, Ron and Hermione arrived at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall to see their fellow Gryffindors talking about the sudden outburst of house elves.
"Yeah, it's weird but I reckon they will be useful"
"Oooh! Maybe they can do my homework!"
"Do you think they can braid hair"
As they sat down Hermione shot nasty looks to everybody who seemed excited about this.
"Hey Harry, Ron, Hermione"
"Hi Dean. Have a good summer?"
"Not too bad you?"
"It was all right" said Harry honestly
Just then Professor McGonagall entered the hall followed by the first years. But she was just leading them, she wasn't holding the stool, Dobby was.
"Look Harry, it's Dobby!" said Ron
"I know, this is very odd"
Harry was about to ask Hermione what she thought when he realized the sorting hat had already started it's song.
"Come and try me on you lil shit
Once I put u in a house, haha thats it!
I decide to which house you belong
I'll laugh as your're miserable all year long!
If you think your a 'super hero'
but your friend count is almost zero
U sometimes win fights with a lot of luck
When I tell u you're in Gryffindor, you're u'll say F--K!!!
If you like to study
And you blood isn't muddy
Ravenclaw house you'll enjoy, I swear
If you don't you better say a goddamn prayer
If u r a goddamn f--king dumbass half hoe lil piece of goddamn shit ass mother f--king loser who needs to a get goddamn life and stop being so f--king happy you goddamn idiot----sorry I got a little carried away....
So if you are nice
And would be friend some mice
You cab be in Hufflepuff
And buy a doggy that says ruff!
If your are 1 whom Salazar would fave
You get to be in the house w/ hot Draco the babe
In Slytherin, you'll know how to smuggle
And you'll also learn how 2 hate and kill a muggle!
So there we have it, I am done
I hope you blind you little eyes while looking in the sun
So till next year when I sort some more
Please go buy me a lil hat whore!"
Everybody in the hall stared at the hat until they remembered they were supposed to be clapping.
"I think the hat is a little, erm angry this year, don't you think?" said Ron as he forced himself to clap
"Just a bit" said Harry
"Do you think they have anger management for hats?" said Ron laughing"
"Probably not" said Harry with a slight laugh "I reckon he's mad a Dumbledore, I mean why else would be saying all those mean thinks about Gryffindor?"
"Oh I know why" said Nearly Headless Nick as he sat down across from them
"Why Nick"
But before Nick could answer Professor McGonagall was started the sorting
"I'll tell you when the sorting is done" whispered Nick as "Brock,Lorena" was sorted in Hufflepuff
Harry kept looking at the line of first years, hoping for the line to get smaller and smaller. Finally there were only five left.
"Phoenix, Jason"
"GRYFFINDOR!"
Harry clapped along with the whole Gryffindor table
"Sparrow, Stacey"
"SLYTHERIN!"
"Turner, Gabrielle"
"GRYFFINDOR!"
Once more Harry clapped along with the rest of the Gryffindors, hoping that the sorting would end already.
"Volkmann, Melissa"
"RAVENCLAW!"
Finally Professor McGonagall called "Watson, Lauren"
Harry looked up to see a girl with dark red hair approaching the sorting hat, not looking nervous at all. Just as he was thinking she'd be a Gryffindor the hat shouted "SLYTHERIN!" and Harry saw her run over to the Slytherin table and sit down next to Malfoy.
"So Nick, will you tell us now?" asked Ron
"Oh yes. Dumbledore wanted to have-" but he broke off as Dumbledore stood up.
"I have many thinks that I would like to say, but I am too hungry to talk now. Tuck In."
"Here Here!" said Seamus and Dean
"So where was I? Ah yes. Professor Dumbledore asked for a House Elf to come and take the hat out of his office because the Ord- well you know what, was having a secret meeting there. But of course the hat wasn't happy about that. So ever since the meeting the hat has been in a foul mood to Dumbledore." finished Nick
"Nick" said Hermione unexpectedly
"Yes Miss Granger?"
"Why are there tons of house elves all of the sudden? How come Hagrid didn't take the first years across the lake"
"I believe the Professors thought the school needed more help"
"What! Why?"
"I do not know" said Nick who seemed oddly amused at Hermione's interest in house elves "You'll have to find out for yourself"
About an hour later the food cleared and the hall grew silent as Dumbledore rose to make his speech
"Hello and welcome to another wonderful year at Hogwarts! I am sure the older students may have noticed a few changes. I am of course talking about the house elves"
Dumbledore's eyes lingered on Hermione for a moment as Ron and Harry exchanged glances trying to not laugh.
"I ask that you treat them all with kindness and respect.."
Hermione smiled.
"..and if you need anything they will be happy to get it for you."
"What?"
"Oh come off it Hermione, that's what they are for!"
"Ron I can't believe you! I need to speak to Professor Dumbledore this is outrageous!"
Hermione kept talking until they Dumbledore finished talking and dismissed everybody.
"I'll see you later" she said as she marched up to the staff table
"I think she has officially lost it" said Ron rolling his eyes "Come on, let's go"