It's A Secret

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By: Ryoko

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Track 01:08:00

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"Kyou?" Hatsuharu whispered from just in hearing distance.

"Hn? What the hell are you doing back here?!"

"Is Hatori still here?" he asked, ignoring the question the neko nearly screamed in shock.

"Huh? Yeah, but the what the hell are you -?"

"Don't worry about it." Yuki winked in the teenager's direction, following the oushi into the house.

"Hatori." The youngest of the teenagers stopped in the doorway, heart ready to burst in anger, and fear at the same time.

"Did you think I wouldn't know where to look for you? Though, I AM glad you came back to see Yuki." The doctor sighed, standing from the table he'd been sitting at, he faced Hatsuharu with the unchanging glare of intolerance. He's not pissed at me? Whoa! "Do you want to go back?"

"You're ASKING me whether I want to go back or not? You mean I can stay HERE?"

"If that is what you want. However, if you DO want to stay here, it may cause you some trouble back at the house."

He looked at Yuki through the corner of his eye, then at Kyou and back at the man before him. "I'll go back. As long as…Yuki can come with me."

"I don't see why that would be a problem. Yuki, would you like to come with us?"

Hesitantly, he nodded, swallowing hard at the thought of going back, to the one place he never wanted to, again.

***

Sliding into the back seat of the car, Hatsuharu was quick to reach a hand over and take the nezumi's hand into his own.

"He won't even LOOK at you. I promise." He mouthed silently to the boy, turning his attention to Hatori, which had begun to speak to him.

"I had the officer in charge change the court date, and hold off on sending Ashura away. So the girl won't be going DIRECTLY after the court appearance, as planned."

"Hatori…" the teenager whispered…almost stunned at the compassion radiating off of the man's words.

"To see you hurt like you did…it's not something I would wish to repeat. If anything, I don't want you to hurt any more than you have in the past, if not at all. I think Yuki agrees with me, also, when I say that you really don't deserve to be put through such pain. You're old enough to understand the responsibilities that come with being an adult, and believe it or not, you've already experienced the feelings that come as a result of parenthood as well. When you and that girl are together, I can't help but not want to separate you." The physician sighed heavily. "I feel awful about the events that have transpired, and I apologize for everything you've been going through. After all, you are only the middleman in the entire case. You are the one that merely found her, and probably the very first one to ever show that child affection. I also apologize for everything else that has been going wrong in your life as a result to my decision and that child, as well as her parents."

"Don't apologize…" he looked out the window that the trees whipping by. The scenery was almost as dismal as his head felt. "You…didn't know this would happen. It's okay. And…I'm sorry I've made YOUR life a living hell as well…I do think I've been being a bit childish and possessive when it comes down to something that really was never mine from the start."

"By that, you mean Ashura?"

"Yeah. She isn't my child. No matter how BAD I want her to be, she isn't my child, and never will be. And now that they're sending her overseas, I'll never even SEE her again because of how stupid I am." Leaning over, Hatsuharu's head fell onto the glass, letting him stare blankly at the back of Hatori's seat.

"You're not stupid. Just naïve…but that's not the point. It's alright to defend that, which you think, is right. And it was only natural that you didn't want Ashura to feel any pain that she had been, and that YOU felt in the past. It's okay to feel so strongly for something that isn't yours." Yuki smiled, reaching over and guiding the juunishi's head to rest on his shoulder. "It's alright to feel like a parent to an offspring that isn't yours. Really."

***

The days dragged on…three days.

He refused to eat, couldn't sleep, and rarely left his bedroom. The few times that Yuki and company came over to see him, he wouldn't speak to them very much, only wanting to be left alone, with the nezumi, in peace.

Momiji kept his presence off in the background, observing from afar, and wishing that he'd had the courage to actually go and TALK to the heartbroken oushi. But sadly, every time he tried, all nerve he'd conjured up, had been lost, and forced him back into the distance.

Three LONG, UNFORGIVING, days.

Then, the newly appointed, court date arrived.

Hatsuharu, Yuki, Hatori and Ayame, drove to the courthouse in silence; Yuki gripping Hatsuharu's hand the whole way, silently praying that SOME good would come of this situation.

The younger juunishi had dug himself a grave that was far too deep to get out of. No matter how hard he could possibly TRY, Hatsuharu was not going to get through the day without SOME kind of repercussion…whether it be good OR bad.

The doctor parked the car, turned it off, but didn't move to get out. He just looked at Hatsuharu and Yuki in the back seat, through the rear-view mirror.

"Hatsuharu."

"Hn?" he snapped out of the trance, he'd been in, suddenly, glancing up at the man's eyes in the mirror.

"Whatever happens today, in that courtroom, I want you to take VERY seriously. This is the hardest part of the game now, and no matter WHAT you do, you CANNOT go black. Understood? You go black, and you can kiss, ALL chances of Ashura ever returning to you, goodbye."

"I understand."

***

At the end of the hallway, just before they entered the courtroom, Hatsuharu paused, hearing a familiar voice, but no longer being able to place it. He let his eyes stray up.

Ashura…

The child looked awful. Almost as awful as the boy watching her.

Her bright eyes, now clouded and sad, her smile no longer full of life. If he didn't know better, he'd of thought she was dying.

Though, HE wasn't much better looking.

***

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