Hey minna-san! I'm *ow!!* back again with *ow!* TSUBAME AND THE CRIMSON TSUNAMI, formerly known as TSUBAME AND THE STOMACH CHEWING DEMONS *ow!* The reason I'm screaming in agony right now is because I have the stomach chewing demons too!! Not even Tidol and Mylenol can cure this one! This is an epidemic, it's even spread to the real world! *ow!* Some how I'm managing to type this. Ugh, enough of my blabbering about my stomach chewing demons, on with the *ow!* story.
Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin even though I REALLY wish I owned Aoshi, Kenshin, Sanosuke, and Sou! *drools*
TSUBAME AND THE CRIMSON TSUNAMI
By: Kawaii-chan
Chapter Two: What is THAT?!
Key:
"Talking"
' thinking '
I'm really surprised that a guy read this. Thanks Mr. Gee-YouKnit (umm.. Did I get that right?)
Oh, and thanks to Kitten Kisses for the suggestions and stuff. Sure, I'd love to tie this into your story. Thanks for telling me that they used the ripped up sheets too!
Important Note: Kaoru and Kenshin aren't really mentioned in this ficcy cuz they're on their 'western honeymoon' where they will be 'sleeping together'. *dies cracking up*
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Tsubame growled while she ripped up some sheets to use for her *ahem*. She had spent all day washing those sheets and then ripping them.
"Hey Tsubame-chan," Yahiko startled her. "Umm… hey, uh Yahiko-kun," Tsubame greeted nervously. She hastily hid the sheets behind her as so he wouldn't see. Unfortunately, her plan failed.
"Tsubame-chan? Why are you hiding sheets behind you? Ripped up sheets," Yahiko pointed.
"These, oh, I was umm making rags!" she made up and excuse. "But doesn't Tae have enough rags? Why would she need more?" Oh yeah, this was going to be hard to escape.
"Well uh, we need new ones. The old ones are so… so… raggy!" she exclaimed hoping it would work.
"Raggy? They're rags, they're supposed to be… raggy," Yahiko answered. Beads of sweat collected on her forehead.
"Okay, okay. I'll admit it. I was preparing for an ancient sacrifice and umm… the ritual needs ripped up sheets," Tsubame made up an even lamer excuse.
"Really? Sacrifice? Cool! What are you going to be sacrificing? I bet it's a dog!" Yahiko jumped.
"Umm… er… it's a cricket. I'm sacrificing crickets to the er… Cricket God so that umm… he can cure the world of stomach chewing demons!"
"Cool! Can I join you in your sacrifice ritual? Will you be dancing around in a weird skirt like those jungle people?" Yahiko grew eager. 'Because I wanna watch!'
"Umm… it's a private ritual. VERY private," Tsubame cringed at the thought of her period.
"Anyway, I was going to the shops the get some vegetables and I was wondering if you wanted to come along with me," Yahiko changed the subject.
"Okay, I'm free anyways since Tae's taking care of the customers," she smiled. "Alright, let's go," Yahiko led the way.
As they walked to the shops, the man from yesterday who teased them about being married walked up to them.
"So youngsters, how does married life feel?" the man, Shiro, patted Yahiko on the back rather harshly. "We're not married, baka-san," Yahiko said coldly. "Ha, baka-san, that's a new one! Well anyway, tell me when the little lady's expecting," he waved goodbye. "Expecting? What does that mean?" Yahiko scratched his head. Tsubame shrugged.
They stopped by the little booth that had 'Vegetables' written on the sign. "What can I do for ya young man?" the old man asked. "I'd like some cabbage and carrots please," Yahiko said pulling out some money. Tsubame just looked around.
A young man with brown hair spotted her and smirked seeing who she was with. He walked up to her and took her hand. "Why hello Tsubame-chan. What a pleasant surprise!" he kissed her hand making her blush and Yahiko fume.
"Umm, hi Yutarou-kun, it's a surprise seeing you here too," Tsubame managed to squeak out. "Why hello, Yahiko-CHAN," Yutarou teased. A very visible vein popped out on his forehead. "Hello Yutarou-CHAN, how nice to see you," he hissed.
"Well, do you mind if I take Tsubame out of your hands for a while? I wanted to show her that beautiful Sakura tree I saw by the stream," he winked at Tsubame. "Well, I was just about to COOK for her," Yahiko countered getting weird glances.
"Well, if you're going back to the dojo, I guess I should come too. You know, I haven't seen that beautiful Kaoru-san for a while," Yutarou pondered with a dreamy look on his face.
"You pervert! You hit on Tsubame-chan first and then you start thinking things about that Busu!! Have some respect!" Yahiko exclaimed. "I can't help it. I'm very attracted to ladies. And they're attracted to me," he winked at Tsubame, "And if you had any respect for Kaoru-san, you wouldn't be calling that ravishing goddess a busu," he grinned cockily.
"Come on Tsubame-chan, let's go. He's a bad influence," Yahiko pulled her away. "Bye, my dear Tsubame-chan!" he blew a kiss at her. She blushed and turned around.
"Thanks for pulling me out of there," she thanked. "No problem," Yahiko growled thinking about Yutarou.
"Are you actually going to cook for me?" she blushed. Yahiko stopped dead in his tracks. "Uh, sure… umm… I'll try," Yahiko put on a sheepish grin. 'How sweet,' Tsubame thought to herself.
Just then, an unbearable pain erupted in the bottom of her abdomen. She clutched her abdomen and groaned. "Ugh, I don't feel so good," she managed to speak. Yahiko stopped and put his hand on her shoulder. "I don't think we should go to the shops anymore. You keep on getting those pains. Maybe it's something in the air," Yahiko spoke stroking her back.
"Here, get on my back, I'll carry you back to the Akebeko," he offered. (K/N: I don't know how she'll do that but just pretend she's wearing a gi instead. Okie dokie?) Tsubame nodded and climbed on to his back. She was in too much pain to blush.
"Are you comfortable?" Yahiko asked adjusting his arms so that the sack of vegetables were still hanging on to his arms. "Yes, I'm not too heavy for you am I?" she asked gingerly. "No, you're very light, you just tell me if you feel uncomfortable," Yahiko instructed. Tsubame thanked the gods that this was Yahiko and not Yutarou.
Tsubame rested her head on his shoulders making him blush yet smile at the same time. She closed her eyes trying to forget about the pain. She let out a few whimpers here and there but it didn't bother him.
"Hey Tsubame-chan, I'm going to take you to the dojo instead, okay? I don't think Tae will mind if you come with me since you're feeling bad and all," Yahiko stated. Tsubame just nodded.
When they got to the dojo Yahiko gingerly put Tsubame down. "Do you feel any better?" he asked. "Yea, thanks. I don't know what I would've done. I just hate these stomach chewing demons," Tsubame answered. When she was completely down, she saw something that scared her out of her wits.
It was horrific, despicable, vile, dreadful, and all the other words for horrible. It was wet and red… and the worst part was the fact that it was on Yahiko's back.
Tsubame had leaked on Yahiko's back! And he didn't know it!
Yahiko put down the vegetables and felt around his back. "I guess having you on my back made me sweaty… umm I didn't mean it that way. It's just that my back feels wet, oh well, it'll dry up soon," Yahiko spoke. "Uh, yes, I'm sure it will," Tsubame squeaked nervously. "Umm, is there anything I can help you with Yahiko-kun?"
"Yes, can you go get some water. Sano forgot to refill the bucket again," Yahiko instructed while he started chopping the carrots.
'WHAT DO I DO? WHAT DO I DO? WHAT WOULD BUDDHA DO?' Tsubame's mind screamed. She got the water as fast as she could and rushed back to kitchen. Then something else hit her. If it had leaked out onto Yahiko's back… then it was on her clothes as well! She looked down and sighed in relief. Her clothes were a dark maroon color so it wouldn't stick out.
"Hey kid, I'm home. You here?" Sano asked coming in. Tsubame's eyes widened into saucers. This wasn't some mere smear, it was gigantic! Just then Tsubame had a 'brilliant' idea.
She pretended to walk over with the bucket and she 'tripped' sending the water all over Yahiko's back.
"Hey! What the…"
"Oops, sorry Yahiko-kun, let me try to wipe off the water on your back." Tsubame rushed to get a rag she saw and started wiping furiously on the blood.
"Uh, Tsubame-chan, isn't it easier to just press the rag against my back and let it soak up the water instead of rubbing so… ouch!… hard?" Yahiko asked.
"Shut up, you!!" she growled.
'Sheesh, what's up her…? Umm… never mind that.' thought Yahiko blushing. Tsubame kept on rubbing and rubbing but it still wouldn't give up so easily. 'Die you friggin stain. I said DIE!!!'
The sound of Sano's sandals echoed through the dojo. Tsubame acted quick and tried stopping him from coming in. "Hey Tsubame-chan, where are you going?" Yahiko asked from the kitchen. He still didn't care if he was wet, as long as he just got dinner done, which needed lots of concentration.
"Oh, hey Tsubame-chan! What are you and Yahiko doing alone?" Sano asked winking.
"Yahiko-kun's cooking and he needed some assistance. You look tired why don't you have a rest somewhere far from the kitchen. I'll bring you a carrot," Tsubame said speedily.
"A carrot?"
"Yes, a carrot. They bring umm… peace of mind,"
"What kind of load of crap is that?"
"The western kind of load of crap. They say it in all of the magazines," Tsubame tried smiling.
"Oh, I see you want some alone time. Well, then that's okay. Just tell me when you're expecting," Sano winked again.
"Umm… what's that? Oh well, I will tell you when I'm expecting," she sped off. 'Does he mean like when I'm anticipating something? Gah! Why does everyone ask that?!'
Tsubame got some more water and headed back into the kitchen where Yahiko still waited obliviously.
'Do I tell him to change into something different? NO! Then he'll see the hideous creature for himself!' Tsubame cringed.
"Tsubame-chan, do you mind getting out the salt?" Yahiko broke her train of thoughts.
"Uh sure… hey, the umm… water is still on your back, why don't I get that for you?" Tsubame suggested. "No, it's really okay. It feels nice since it's so hot out," Yahiko answered turning around.
"But you'll catch a cold!"
"It's summer, Tsubame-chan. I'm not that baka, Shinomori, who can freeze," Yahiko laughed.
Meanwhile in Kyoto where Aoshi sat in the temple meditating again while Misao chattered endlessly, Aoshi just happened to sneeze.
"Bless you Aoshi-sama," Misao chirped. She started chatting endlessly again giving him a headache. Sure, he had to admit that he liked her company, but this can get really annoying! (K/N: no offense to any die-hard A/M fans. I'm one too!)
"Well anyway, Okon and Omasu started talking to me about wearing KIMONOS and…"
"Misao…" Aoshi interrupted her.
"Yes, Aoshi-sama?"
"I've been wanting to tell you something for a long time now. Just three words but they mean a lot to me. I just never got the courage to tell you but…,"
"Yes Aoshi-sama? Exactly what are those little three words you have wanted to tell me?" Misao asked eagerly with hearts in her eyes.
"Please. Shut. Up."
Misao did a typical anime fall and sweat dropped.
Anyway, back to the Kamiya Dojo where our hero and heroine are. Tsubame started to get REALLY nervous. What would she say? What would he do?
Just then Sanosuke came inside, "Hey kid, is lunch ready yet?"
Just then he spotted the big, red spot on Yahiko's back.
"Ewww!! What is that?!!" Sanosuke pointed.
"Huh? What's what?" Yahiko asked washing his hands.
Tsubame started jerking her hands to signal to Sanosuke to shut it. Her face was vicious and had Sano's death written all over it. 'Tell him suffer the wrath of my stomach chewing demons!!!'
Sanosuke smirked when he recalled the conversation he had with Megumi the other day about Tsubame turning into a woman. 'Shiro was telling me about how some little boy was giving a young waitress from the Akebeko a piggy back ride after they left the shops and called him baka-san. So that was Yahiko! Oh, so this was Tsubame's doing. Well maybe I can blackmail her with this into lifting my debt!' Sanosuke grin widened.
"Tsubame-chan, what's that thing you're doing with your hands?" Yahiko asked in wonder.
"Umm… there's this fly buzzing around and uh… I was trying to swat it," Tsubame made a lame excuse.
Sanosuke grinned evilly. "I know what you did, my little Tsubame-chan. If you pay my tabs at the Akebeko… we can work around telling your precious Yahiko-CHAN about the thing on his back," Sanosuke whispered secretively.
"Never!" she hissed. He probably had over 500 yen in debt!
"Oh really. Then… Oh Yahiko did you know that the thing on your- Ouch!!" his sing song voice was cut off by the stinging sensation on his cheek left by Tsubame's slap.
"Oops, silly me. I thought the fly had landed on your cheek. Gomen," Tsubame grinned triumphantly.
'Why that little… oh she is going to pay! This is war!' Sano growled.
'Bring. It. On. Rooster!' Little sparks could be seen as Tsubame and Sano engaged in a mental war.
"So Yahiko? Have you gotten into any fights lately? Because you like you're-" he was cut off again by Tsubame kicking him in the shin.
"So, Sanosuke-san, what have you and Megumi been up to lately. Was she fixing your chest when we came in the other day?"
"What?! No! I mean… Yes! Uh… umm… she was fixing a bruise!" he shrieked.
"Oh! I didn't know that. Okay so where is it? I have this ointment that fixes them like magic!" Tsubame said innocently.
"Why you little…" Sano growled.
Sano and Tsubame attacked each other while Yahiko just whistled to himself.
"Take that rooster!"
"You may be a little girl but… ha! I got ya!
"Oh, you're gonna pay for that one!" they yelled at each other as they tried to kill one another.
"STOP IT!" Yahiko exclaimed making them freeze.
Tsubame had Sano's hair in her mouth and her hands gripping his neck. Sano had his hands gripping her neck too and he had his foot up on her stomach so that he could kick her off.
Just then they realized that they could hold them selves and they collapsed on to the ground.
"You two should learn how to behave! I'm going to go change into something else okay?" Yahiko reprimanded them.
Sanosuke grinned and Tsubame had a look of pure horror across her face.
Thanks to her quick thinking she remembered that new western sauce that Kaoru had bought a couple of days ago. 'I know! Before he changes I'll use that red sauce! What was it called. Was it dogsup or catsup? Stupid westerners and their stupid names! Now where did she put it?!' she thought frantically.
"Uh… Yahiko-kun, before you go, can you find that western sauce that Kaoru bought a couple of days ago. I think it was called dogsup. Please?" she batted her lashes causing him to melt.
"Umm sure, Tsubame-chan,"
"Oh thank you so much Yahiko. You're so sweet!" she tried buttering him up.
She started looking for that sauce too and shot a glare at Sano.
'That stupid kid! Just cause she said he was sweet he does everything for her! Oh wait, I have to give that fox doctor that medicine she wanted. I don't want her to stop calling me 'a dear' now do we?' the hypocrite Sanosuke thought. He dashed off relieving some of Tsubame's tension.
Tsubame beamed when she found the little bottle labeled 'catsup'. "Yes I found it. Hey look you can squeeze it!" Tsubame got his attention.
"Okay, I guess I better go change before we eat then," Yahiko smiled. Tsubame started to panic again.
When he turned around Tsubame got another 'brilliant' idea. She opened the top of the plastic bottle and gave it a squeeze sending the bright red sauce flying and landing on the floor and Yahiko's back.
"Oh, I'm so sorry Yahiko. I'm so clumsy! Let me get that or else it may fall to the floor!" Tsubame hurried and got a rag. Before he knew, Tsubame started rubbing the rag on him.
'Mwahahahaha! I win you stupid period! You lose! Now he'll think the stain was from the 'catsup'!' Tsubame grinned maniacally to herself.
"Umm… Tsubame-chan, I think you're causing the thing to stain my hanaka," Yahiko spoke nervously.
"Oops, don't worry, I'll take it back to the Akebeko and wash it for you,"
"It's okay you don't have-"
"I WILL take it back to the Akebeko and wash it for you Yahiko. Understand?" she growled scaring him.
"Uh sure,"
"Good."
Once Tsubame was sure that the stain covered up the blood, she let him go.
'Sheesh, I'm never taking her to the shops again. Something in the air is making her act like a dog. A FEMALE dog,' Yahiko thought. Too bad he didn't know what the westerners called little female dogs.
Tsubame smiled proudly at herself. She had controlled the situation. Now, just another few days of this malicious thing they called her 'period' and she was free.
This was going to be a LONG week.
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Phew that was a long chapter!! I know it wasn't really funny but I tried my best. Hopefully you enjoyed it. Please leave a review and check out the Stomach Chewing demons by Kitten Kisses. I'm tired and I need a nap. In the mean time, PLEASE REVIEW! Arigatou! Until next time, happy reading! Ja!
Kawaii-Libra-Waziha-chan