Dude, Where's My Spoon?
Hello everyone, I'm Mako. I'm TAKING OVER RELOADED! That is, booting out the Wachowskis and puttin' on the director's hat! Which essentially means it's funnier, suitable for pretty much all ages and dotted with inside jokes. Since I'm bad with long-term writing commitments, I'm doing one scene at a time starting wherever I want and proceeding in no particular order. This way I won't get writers block over one scene and then not be able to continue (it's happened before.) So, without further ado, I give you… Dude, Where's My Spoon?: MAKOFIED RELOADED!
Rating: An extremely deliberate G.
Random Scene: The crazy Zion rave… Makofied.
People: Is that possible??
Mako: Wait and see…
***
Hamann: Hahaha, I'm an old man! Now listen to Morpheus!
Zion: YEAH!!!!!!!!!!
Morpheus: ZION! HEAR ME! The squiddies are coming to destroy us!
Zion: *gasps and murmurs*
Morpheus: But have no fear, we are still here!!!
Zion: Yeah… but for how long?
Morpheus: TONIGHT! Let us partay like it's 2199!!
Zion: ………..*instantly forget about squiddies* YEAH!!!!
Morpheus: That'll scare them off!
Mako: It'd work for me.
Spoon Kid: Or it will make it easier for them to find us…
Mako: I think you should be Head Councilor.
*partay begins*
Mako: WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zion: *freeze* …….
Mako: I'll have NONE OF THAT! I want anyone wearing unnecessarily sparse or TRANSPARENT clothing to RETURN TO THEIR ROOMS AND PUT SOMETHING DECENT ON! Then you may return and dance in a CIVILIZED MANNER!!
Zion: Aww….
Mako: DO IT!!
*half the crowd shuffles off to their rooms to get some real clothes, mumbling and looking at the floor*
Mako: Gawd, I thought this was a religious ceremony…
MEANWHILE:
Niobe: Yo, Morpheus! What time is it brotha?
Morpheus: Time to get our freak on!
Niobe: Some things never change. Let's partay!
Lock: Niobe!!
Niobe: What?
Lock: Umm… time to go…
Niobe: Heck no! It's time to PARTAY!
Lock: But I don't like dancing!
Niobe: I know you don't. Bye!
Lock: But but but but…
Morpheus: HA-ha!
Niobe and Morpheus: *partay*
Lock: Grrrr.
ALSO MEANWHILE:
Some guy: Blablablablablablablablabla…
Neo: Uh huh, sure… I'm listening….
Trinity: *appears out of nowhere wearing Zion stuff*
Neo: Whooaaa excuse me! *runs off*
Trinity: *glomp* 3
Neo: I missed you! 3
Audience: Aww…
Neo: I was thinking…
Trinity: You were?
Neo: Not funny.
Trinity: Hehe sorry.
Neo: Anyway—
Kid: *appears out of nowhere* NEO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Neo and Trinity: ACK!!
Kid: Look I have a present for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Neo: Now is not the best time…
Kid: It's from the director!!!!!!!!!!!! She made me swear to get it to you before—
Neo: Yeah yeah okay just give it to me!
Kid: *produces a 7 foot tall giant box wrapped in shiny green paper with a silver bow*
Neo: WHOA! Where the monkeys did that come from?!
Kid: Nowhere pocket!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Neo: Well I'll just open it later….
Kid: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You have to open it now or it will self-destruct!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Neo: WHAT?!
Kid: Openitopenitopenitopenitopenit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Neo: Fine… *rips off wrapping paper and opens box to find another wrapped box inside* What the—
Kid: OPEN THAT ONE OPEN THAT ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Trinity: *sighs and sits down*
Neo: *rips off wrapping paper and opens box again to find another one* ARGH!
Kid: You have to get to the present or it will EXPLODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Neo: ARGH!
FIVE HOURS LATER……..
*everyone is surrounded by and nearly buried in wrapping paper*
Trinity: *snore*
Neo: *is holding a box six inches long and two inches wide, wrapped in the same shiny green paper and silver bow* This has to be the last one…. *opens it to find a long wad of green tissue paper* AHAH!
Kid: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Neo: *tears away tissue paper* ………A SPOON?!?!
Kid: There's a note!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Note: Thought you were gonna get away with it, didn't you? NOT IN *MY* KITCHEN!!!! Still love ya! ~Mako
Neo:….. *falls over*
Kid: Wow look at the time!!!!!!!!!!!! The last ravers are clearing out!!!!!!!!!!!! That means it's way past my bedtime!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This was fun let's do it again tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!! Bye Neo!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs off*
Neo: waaah….
Trinity: *snore*
LATER.
Neo: *wakes up* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Trinity: Huh what--- hey what are we doing on the floor?
Neo: Not floor… wrapping paper….
Trinity: *rubs head* Ugh… what's wrong?
Neo: I had a bad dream about Smelrond!
Trinity: *yawn* …Who?
Neo: *looks confused* I don't know… I mean… Smith… *scratches head*
Trinity: Alright dear. Now if you don't mind I'm going to bed…
Neo: ……*looks puzzled for another minute then shakes head quickly in true Keanu fashion* Nope, nope, can't sleep. I'll just go wander aimlessly around.
Trinity: *yawn* If you say so. *pats Neo on the head and walks off*
Neo: *gets up and wanders out of sea of wrapping paper, over to a random balcony thing above the empty cave* Hmm….
Voice: Penny for your thoughts?
Neo: …. Spoon Kid?!
Spoon Kid: *nods*
Neo: Somehow I was expecting the old guy…
Spoon Kid: The Councilor?
Neo: *nod*
Spoon Kid: That's me.
Neo: What?!
Spoon Kid: Old men don't bother making points. There is no point.
Neo: I see your point.
Spoon Kid: Exactly.
Neo: So how'd you get the job?
Spoon Kid: Our new director.
Neo: Of course. …..Hey can I ask you a question?
Spoon Kid: Shoot.
Neo: …Did you give her the spoon?
Spoon Kid: Why, I don't know what you're talking about.
Neo: Right, right.
Spoon Kid: …So, I should work in some necessary dialog.
Neo: It would probably be a good idea.
Spoon Kid: Can't sleep, then?
Neo: Bad dreams.
Spoon Kid: Of course. And you haven't heard from the Oracle.
Neo: No… do you know where she is?
Spoon Kid: I don't. But I believe she will contact you soon. You're troubled because you're wondering what you are supposed to do. Your purpose will become clear soon enough.
Neo: Yeah… thanks Spoon Kid.
Spoon Kid: Any time.
SCENE NO OWARI!