Dude, Where's My Spoon?
The scene that Mako almost forgot: Her Majesty's Valiant Captains!
SCENE: Zion Council room. Lock (whose nickname, it seems, is Deadbolt…for some unknown reason) is standing at a table with all the captains and their crews behind him and in front of him the Council, consisting of Hamann, Spoon Kid, Jimmy Hendricks and the Queen of England. Everyone but Spoon Kid looks about to fall asleep as Lock has apparently been rambling for quite a long time.
Lock: Blah blah blah thousands of squiddies blah blah blah digging attacking blah blah blah never faced anything like this blah blah blah blah blah…IN CONCLUSION!
Most of council and crews behind Lock: *jump*
Lock: I urge the Council to REALIZE THE TRUTH—
Spoon Kid: Ahem! I believe that's my line?
Lock: *twitches* Yes… sir…. Anyway I must say that this is the single greatest threat we have ever faced. If we do not act accordingly, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
Jimmy Hendricks: Dude, we get it. However we must ask if the Nebuchadnezzar has sent word.
Lock: No, sir, we have not heard from them.
Niobe: Hmm…
Queen of England: Then you will send a ship to ascertain the fate of the One.
Lock: I'm sorry your Majesty, but no can do.
Queen of England: You will do, Commander, if I say so.
Lock: One ship will take days to find the Neb!
Queen of England: Then send two. It's called common sense, Commander.
Lock: YOU'RE ALL INSANE!
Hamann: Shut up, Commander.
Lock: WHY DOES NOBODY EVER LISTEN TO ME?!
Spoon Kid: *slides off of the stack of phone books on his chair and walks over to Lock*
Lock: *twitch*
Spoon Kid: Easy, Commander. Remember, there is no spoon.
Lock: What the… that's supposed to help me, is it?!
Spoon Kid: *shakes head* Zion-borns…
Queen of England: Are there two captains here who would volunteer to find the Nebuchadnezzar?
Lock: Wait, I didn't agree to— *is hit in the head with a spoon* Oww! *glares at Spoon Kid*
Spoon Kid: *looks innocent* I didn't— somebody's throwin' stuff…
Smith-Bane: *whispers* We should volunteer!
Malachi: What? Have you gone insane?!
Smith-Bane: Err…
Ballard: Put a cork in it, Bane.
Queen of England: Well?
Soren: *stands up* Captain Soren of the Vigilant will volunteer, your Majesty!
Queen of England: You understand the situation, Captain?
Soren: Yes, your Majesty. We will have approximately two lines each and thirty seconds in the spotlight before dying nobly after accomplishing absolutely nothing.
Queen of England: Very well. Is there another?
Niobe: *stands up* Captain Niobe of the Logos will answer the Council's call, your Majesty.
Lock: WHAT?!
Queen of England: You understand the situation as well, Captain?
Niobe: Yes, your Majesty. I will go and save Morpheus, looking extremely cool while doing so, then blow up a power plant and do lots of other things that are only glimpsed but hint at extreme coolness to be explored in the game.
Queen of England: Thank you, captain. Council adjourned!
*everyone gets up and starts mumbling and shuffling out*
Lock: Why do I even bother?!
Spoon Kid: Beats me. *walks off*
Lock: …
Niobe: *walks up to Lock*
Lock: What are you DOING?!
Niobe: What I can.
Lock: Why?!
Niobe: Because I'm not a LOSER like you! I mean, Jason?! What kind of name is that for somebody in the real world?!
Lock: I—
Niobe: Besides, some things never change, and some things do.
Lock: Wait, you didn't even say that line in the beginning! You skipped it and went dancing with Morpheus!
Niobe: Hey... that's right! HA-ha!
Lock: UGH! I QUIT! *runs off*
Niobe: *shrugs and walks off in the other direction, followed by Ghost and Sparks*
Sparks: Should I ask?
Ghost: No.
Sparks: Okay.
OWARI!
Director's note: So that was short… but it's a short scene. NOW IT'S TIME FOR THE CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER VERSION! w00t w00t! Look for it soon! Till next time,
~Mako