Chapter 4- Here Be Monsters!
Ari smiled to herself as Miss Bitters ranted on about mutant toilet rats. She prided herself at having Zim come with her to school. Not that she was really missing anything, in fact quite few of the students were missing. Ari remembered the answer Miss Bitters had cut her off with before as she asked.
"Miss Bitters, where did the rest of the students go-"
"Underground classrooms. Sit down or you'll join them."
"Eeep!" squeaked Ari and sat down. The day went by particularly well, that is, until Lunch. Ari had explained the entire, "Dib- stalker" thing to Zim so he wouldn't be pissed off for talking to him.
"Hi Ari! Why weren't you here on Thursday? Huh? Huh? Huh? Were you sick? Did you spy on Zim? Find anything out about him that we could use? Didja? Huh?" said Dib. For a moment he reminded Ari of a little dog.
"Uh, Dib, I think that I'm just going to ignore Zim and everyone else right now..I'm returning the favor." Said Ari slowly.
Dib blinked. "You mean, just block out the world? How could you do that? I mean, there's an alien sitting right-over-there!" he pointed at Zim who responded with a glare at Dib.
"Simple, I start by ignoring you first." and with that she took another bite out of her sandwich. Dib looked both hurt and angry as he marched off back to Gaz. Ari smiled.
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The Tallest were back on the screen again as Zim was filling them in in the plan he and Ari had come up with together.. Oddly enough the Tallest appeared to be listening to him this time.
"Your going to use Advanced Irken Monster Creation Technology just to destroy the humans?" said Red questioningly.
"Yes! I have already made plans for the skeletal structures to be made, they are being made from the strongest metals Irk can offer!"
"What kind of energy source will your creations run on? You know that's why those inventions aren't widely used anymore. Besides, anyone who uses those usually just gets blown up from malfunctio- I mean, That's a great idea Zim!" said Purple enthusiastically.
"Thank you for realizing my Tallest. Now I must go, the skeletal design program is finished being installed. Invader Zim, signing off!"
"Wow. I think he's finally snapped." said Purple blatantly.
"Or else he's finally discovered a plan that could actually work..."
"......"
"BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" laughed the two figures insanely.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------- Zim took the elevator to the room Ari was in as she fiddled with the skeletal designing program. A picture of what looked like a dragon's bone structure was on the screen.
"Alright Zim, I've thought of a new plan, it's the most possible one so far. I'm designing monsters with Artificial intelligence, but they can be controlled from the inside mechanically. Like Big..robot...things. Yeah, anyway it turns out that one of the metals acted oddly when I exposed it to the air, or maybe it was the sun. Either way it turns out that something, probably a chemical of some sort in the earth's atmosphere carries an Irken form of energy that reacts positively to the metal and somehow...I don't know, but it can act as an ever-present fuel for our machines! Wow, I sounded pretty smart saying all that stuff, glad that's over." Ari sighed with relief as she had said everything in one entire breath.
One of Zim's antennae twitched as he looked back over to Ari, clearly not paying any attention to her. "Did you say something?" he asked with all-too- much innocence to his voice. Ari restrained herself from punching Zim square in the nose (if he had one that is) as she turned her attention back to the computer. Soon, many different monster designs were on the screen, winged ones, hoofed ones, ones that were terrifying to look at even.
Ari smiled proudly as she announced, "Pick one." Sighing at the look of immense confusion that replaced the innocence, she explained.
"Ok Zim, pick a monster, this will be the monster that I team you up with, as in, destroying stuff together, etcetera."
"What, you want me to ride, one of...THOSE?" he exclaimed pointing at one of the monsters and waving his arm to emphasize his reaction. (It was a very large moose with wings and sharp teeth, creative huh?)
"No, not really, you could if you wanted to I guess. But the way I had it planned we'll be inside where the monster's brain should be, but since it runs on a single A.I chip, there's a lot of space, so it can act as our control rooms. Its even got a TV!" Ari said happily, her tongue sticking out of her mouth in a crooked smile.
"Hmm...Yes, we will build an army of monsters! Then, we will obliterate every human trace on this planet!"
Both of the figures started laughing manically in unison.
"Nice laugh." said what appeared to be an impressed Zim.
"Thanks. I've been workin' on it."
"Ahem, uh, so if you need any help, just tell Gir and he'll come and get me." Both of them suddenly shot a glance at the little robot who randomly started singing "Hello Dolly". Ari gave Zim a doubtful look.
"Er, or you could just go to my sleeping quarters..."
"I think I'll stick with that idea, thanks. But I don't think I'll need any help, all we need now if something to store all the monsters files on, like a huge floppy disk or something, because then all we'll have to do is slip it into the computer, I think it works for Voot cruisers too, anyway, and the creature will be created. And after their done being used, we can just take the disk out and its all reversed, the creature is broken back down and its parts stored back onto the disk. Man, I'm so boring! I hate myself when I'm all smart.and stuff." Ari added.
"No, as long as you actually make sense its ok. I can't STAND those-people- at school who think they know everything! It makes me want to-" Zim smashed his fist into the wall of wires and electronics, causing the screen with the monsters to black out. "D'oh!" said Zim as he blushed a lighter shade of green. "I sort of...lose my 'temper' as you humans call it."
"No Zim...that's ok. Why don't you go try and find something that we can store the files on, ok?"
Zim's lowered antennae flew back to where they belonged as he finally felt like he was actually part of this mission after all. Lately he had noticed Ari was doing a lot of the work by herself, Zim admired this in humans, they called it "determination" he believed.
Zim turned and walked off towards the elevator with a slight bounce in his step. Ari smiled when she saw this and laughed to herself. "He's sort of cute when he walks like that." Ari realized what she was thinking and slapped herself before beginning to repair the heavy damage done to the computer wall.
--------------~Back at the Massive, the Tallest's fits of laughter had subsided~---------------
"Red, what would happen if Zim actually conquered Earth?" Purple asked as an irken servant girl gave him a fresh plate of snacks
"The apocalypse would come, why?" came the remark from Red.
"No Red, really. If Zim actually did conquer Earth, what would he do then?"
Red's eyes widened with realization. "He, he'd come back to Irk for a celebration! Oh no, who knows what damage he could do this time!? We're still suffering from Horrible Painful Overload Day two!" Both the Irkens bowed their heads for a second or two, in memory of all the lost smeets that never were programmed with an I.D. Number, which meant they never would be able to go into the Irken Database, therefore legally didn't exist. Many smeets that didn't have an I.D. Number had to be killed that day...All because of Zim.
Suddenly, the two deep red eyes lit up on the face of Almighty Tallest Red, a vicious gleam shone shining off of his eyes.
"Hey wait, what if Zim never conquers Earth? What if we...do something... To prevent him from screwing up anything of ours any longer?" said Red with an evil hint to his voice.
"Of course! We'll neuter him!" exclaimed Purple loudly. The guards outside the Tallest's door opened their eyes before making a mad run towards the nearest exit.
"Um...no. I meant assassinate him." Red said as he gave Purple a wry look.
"Oh. Um...Can we neuter him anyway?" Purple smiled cheekily.
"Your mind must be a horribly scary place."
"You know, I think their putting stuff in these new Cheese crunchies, they're really addictive! Whoa, since when did we have a rug on the ceiling???" said Purple, his eyes twitching as he looked above at the overhead window of the Massive.
"Purple! Stop getting high on cheese crunchies and help me think of something!" Red said through gritted teeth. He massaged his temples until Purple's drowsy voice broke his concentration once more.
"Why don't you hire some pretty girls...they can make your troubles go away in an iiiinstant-" Purples speech was cut off as he tipped backwards and keeled over onto the floor.
"Purple you son of a-Hey wait! I know what to do!" said Red, grinning evilly. "What a convenient way to meet up with Jaz..." He dialed a number on an Irken Phone thingy and said "Mission Bay, contact Invader Jaz for me, I.D Number 8642, locate immediately."
A voice responded on the other end, "Tallest Red, is this one of those 'Pleasure Calls?' Because you know that's against Tallest Leadership rule-"
"Damnit! I only wanted to see Jaz ok!"
"Naked?"
"NO! Well.maybe later but, hey wait a minute!, STOP THAT!" Red's furious cry echoed through the halls. "Oh shi*!!!" He thought to himself realizing he was on the intercom.
Purple opened his eyes and got up. Shaking off the effects of the evil snack he looked at the unhappy Tallest Red and asked,
"Hey Red, why was I passed out on the floor just-Hey! Cheese Crunchies!"
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A sketch of a an Irken girl wandered around Ari's notebook. She wore little barrettes on the base of her antennae, and an odd Irken uniform. Ari didn't notice Gir pop up behind her and ask, "Whasat?"
"This? This Gir, is what I wish I could be. An Irken, like Zim, except a girl of course." Ari laughed, it struck her as odd. She couldn't even remember laughing when she was actually happy. But why was she happy? She was helping plot the downfall of her home planet and she was actually truly happy?
"I guess that's what makes me different Gir."
"I know what you meaaaan." the android said, drawing out the last word.
"No Gir...No you don't. But I'll pretend you do anyway."
"Will you take me to the store in your pouch ta get a brainfreeeeeezy?" he asked in what appeared to be bad persuasion.
Ari tapped her pencil on her notebook for a second thinking about it.
"Sure Gir, lets both go get brainfreezies. Except, keep yours away from my face this time." she smiled.
Ari typed a note down to Zim who had finished the repairs on the damaged comuter screen. The words scrolled across the screen. "Going to store with Gir to get Brainfreezy. Want to come?"
A gloved black hand typed two letters and ran to the elevator in what seemed like excitement.
"Ok."
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A tall female Irken stood in front of the door leading into the Tallest main transmission room. She smoothed her antennae straight and walked through the doors. An alarm sounded, obviously reacting to the two thieves knives and her trusted energy sword. Before soldiers could come to the Tallest aid, Jaz whipped out a knife in each hand and sliced them into the door sides. She dragged them quickly downwards and hit the alarm which was silenced immediately.
"Jaz, you haven't changed much since I last saw you." Red smiled as he opened his arms in a sort of welcoming gesture.
With unnatural ease Jaz put the knives back where they belonged and walked towards Red.
"Good to see you too, I don't think I could say the same though. First you were a hopeless mind in the Academy, now your...Well actually now that I think of it, no not much has changed at all." she said jokingly, her dark blue eyes narrowed playfully.
Purple had gone off into his own world again, random comments could be heard from where he was sitting, but they did their best to ignore him.
"So, you the rough type of the sissy type?" Asked Purple, obviously unaware that he had just doomed himself.
His comment was met with a sharp punch from Jaz.
"Temper Temper...Whoppeeee!" said Purple as he sank down to his knees and was soon knocked out.
If Red wasn't there to hold the black and gold clothed Irken she may have finished him off, but being tallest is unbearable if your alone. Who would make fun of Zim with him if Purple was dead?
"Ahem...Now, what did you want me here for My Tallest?" asked Jaz with a smirk.
"Oh I have a very special mission for you Jaz, top secret...But it involves you-".
Ari smiled to herself as Miss Bitters ranted on about mutant toilet rats. She prided herself at having Zim come with her to school. Not that she was really missing anything, in fact quite few of the students were missing. Ari remembered the answer Miss Bitters had cut her off with before as she asked.
"Miss Bitters, where did the rest of the students go-"
"Underground classrooms. Sit down or you'll join them."
"Eeep!" squeaked Ari and sat down. The day went by particularly well, that is, until Lunch. Ari had explained the entire, "Dib- stalker" thing to Zim so he wouldn't be pissed off for talking to him.
"Hi Ari! Why weren't you here on Thursday? Huh? Huh? Huh? Were you sick? Did you spy on Zim? Find anything out about him that we could use? Didja? Huh?" said Dib. For a moment he reminded Ari of a little dog.
"Uh, Dib, I think that I'm just going to ignore Zim and everyone else right now..I'm returning the favor." Said Ari slowly.
Dib blinked. "You mean, just block out the world? How could you do that? I mean, there's an alien sitting right-over-there!" he pointed at Zim who responded with a glare at Dib.
"Simple, I start by ignoring you first." and with that she took another bite out of her sandwich. Dib looked both hurt and angry as he marched off back to Gaz. Ari smiled.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------
The Tallest were back on the screen again as Zim was filling them in in the plan he and Ari had come up with together.. Oddly enough the Tallest appeared to be listening to him this time.
"Your going to use Advanced Irken Monster Creation Technology just to destroy the humans?" said Red questioningly.
"Yes! I have already made plans for the skeletal structures to be made, they are being made from the strongest metals Irk can offer!"
"What kind of energy source will your creations run on? You know that's why those inventions aren't widely used anymore. Besides, anyone who uses those usually just gets blown up from malfunctio- I mean, That's a great idea Zim!" said Purple enthusiastically.
"Thank you for realizing my Tallest. Now I must go, the skeletal design program is finished being installed. Invader Zim, signing off!"
"Wow. I think he's finally snapped." said Purple blatantly.
"Or else he's finally discovered a plan that could actually work..."
"......"
"BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" laughed the two figures insanely.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------- Zim took the elevator to the room Ari was in as she fiddled with the skeletal designing program. A picture of what looked like a dragon's bone structure was on the screen.
"Alright Zim, I've thought of a new plan, it's the most possible one so far. I'm designing monsters with Artificial intelligence, but they can be controlled from the inside mechanically. Like Big..robot...things. Yeah, anyway it turns out that one of the metals acted oddly when I exposed it to the air, or maybe it was the sun. Either way it turns out that something, probably a chemical of some sort in the earth's atmosphere carries an Irken form of energy that reacts positively to the metal and somehow...I don't know, but it can act as an ever-present fuel for our machines! Wow, I sounded pretty smart saying all that stuff, glad that's over." Ari sighed with relief as she had said everything in one entire breath.
One of Zim's antennae twitched as he looked back over to Ari, clearly not paying any attention to her. "Did you say something?" he asked with all-too- much innocence to his voice. Ari restrained herself from punching Zim square in the nose (if he had one that is) as she turned her attention back to the computer. Soon, many different monster designs were on the screen, winged ones, hoofed ones, ones that were terrifying to look at even.
Ari smiled proudly as she announced, "Pick one." Sighing at the look of immense confusion that replaced the innocence, she explained.
"Ok Zim, pick a monster, this will be the monster that I team you up with, as in, destroying stuff together, etcetera."
"What, you want me to ride, one of...THOSE?" he exclaimed pointing at one of the monsters and waving his arm to emphasize his reaction. (It was a very large moose with wings and sharp teeth, creative huh?)
"No, not really, you could if you wanted to I guess. But the way I had it planned we'll be inside where the monster's brain should be, but since it runs on a single A.I chip, there's a lot of space, so it can act as our control rooms. Its even got a TV!" Ari said happily, her tongue sticking out of her mouth in a crooked smile.
"Hmm...Yes, we will build an army of monsters! Then, we will obliterate every human trace on this planet!"
Both of the figures started laughing manically in unison.
"Nice laugh." said what appeared to be an impressed Zim.
"Thanks. I've been workin' on it."
"Ahem, uh, so if you need any help, just tell Gir and he'll come and get me." Both of them suddenly shot a glance at the little robot who randomly started singing "Hello Dolly". Ari gave Zim a doubtful look.
"Er, or you could just go to my sleeping quarters..."
"I think I'll stick with that idea, thanks. But I don't think I'll need any help, all we need now if something to store all the monsters files on, like a huge floppy disk or something, because then all we'll have to do is slip it into the computer, I think it works for Voot cruisers too, anyway, and the creature will be created. And after their done being used, we can just take the disk out and its all reversed, the creature is broken back down and its parts stored back onto the disk. Man, I'm so boring! I hate myself when I'm all smart.and stuff." Ari added.
"No, as long as you actually make sense its ok. I can't STAND those-people- at school who think they know everything! It makes me want to-" Zim smashed his fist into the wall of wires and electronics, causing the screen with the monsters to black out. "D'oh!" said Zim as he blushed a lighter shade of green. "I sort of...lose my 'temper' as you humans call it."
"No Zim...that's ok. Why don't you go try and find something that we can store the files on, ok?"
Zim's lowered antennae flew back to where they belonged as he finally felt like he was actually part of this mission after all. Lately he had noticed Ari was doing a lot of the work by herself, Zim admired this in humans, they called it "determination" he believed.
Zim turned and walked off towards the elevator with a slight bounce in his step. Ari smiled when she saw this and laughed to herself. "He's sort of cute when he walks like that." Ari realized what she was thinking and slapped herself before beginning to repair the heavy damage done to the computer wall.
--------------~Back at the Massive, the Tallest's fits of laughter had subsided~---------------
"Red, what would happen if Zim actually conquered Earth?" Purple asked as an irken servant girl gave him a fresh plate of snacks
"The apocalypse would come, why?" came the remark from Red.
"No Red, really. If Zim actually did conquer Earth, what would he do then?"
Red's eyes widened with realization. "He, he'd come back to Irk for a celebration! Oh no, who knows what damage he could do this time!? We're still suffering from Horrible Painful Overload Day two!" Both the Irkens bowed their heads for a second or two, in memory of all the lost smeets that never were programmed with an I.D. Number, which meant they never would be able to go into the Irken Database, therefore legally didn't exist. Many smeets that didn't have an I.D. Number had to be killed that day...All because of Zim.
Suddenly, the two deep red eyes lit up on the face of Almighty Tallest Red, a vicious gleam shone shining off of his eyes.
"Hey wait, what if Zim never conquers Earth? What if we...do something... To prevent him from screwing up anything of ours any longer?" said Red with an evil hint to his voice.
"Of course! We'll neuter him!" exclaimed Purple loudly. The guards outside the Tallest's door opened their eyes before making a mad run towards the nearest exit.
"Um...no. I meant assassinate him." Red said as he gave Purple a wry look.
"Oh. Um...Can we neuter him anyway?" Purple smiled cheekily.
"Your mind must be a horribly scary place."
"You know, I think their putting stuff in these new Cheese crunchies, they're really addictive! Whoa, since when did we have a rug on the ceiling???" said Purple, his eyes twitching as he looked above at the overhead window of the Massive.
"Purple! Stop getting high on cheese crunchies and help me think of something!" Red said through gritted teeth. He massaged his temples until Purple's drowsy voice broke his concentration once more.
"Why don't you hire some pretty girls...they can make your troubles go away in an iiiinstant-" Purples speech was cut off as he tipped backwards and keeled over onto the floor.
"Purple you son of a-Hey wait! I know what to do!" said Red, grinning evilly. "What a convenient way to meet up with Jaz..." He dialed a number on an Irken Phone thingy and said "Mission Bay, contact Invader Jaz for me, I.D Number 8642, locate immediately."
A voice responded on the other end, "Tallest Red, is this one of those 'Pleasure Calls?' Because you know that's against Tallest Leadership rule-"
"Damnit! I only wanted to see Jaz ok!"
"Naked?"
"NO! Well.maybe later but, hey wait a minute!, STOP THAT!" Red's furious cry echoed through the halls. "Oh shi*!!!" He thought to himself realizing he was on the intercom.
Purple opened his eyes and got up. Shaking off the effects of the evil snack he looked at the unhappy Tallest Red and asked,
"Hey Red, why was I passed out on the floor just-Hey! Cheese Crunchies!"
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A sketch of a an Irken girl wandered around Ari's notebook. She wore little barrettes on the base of her antennae, and an odd Irken uniform. Ari didn't notice Gir pop up behind her and ask, "Whasat?"
"This? This Gir, is what I wish I could be. An Irken, like Zim, except a girl of course." Ari laughed, it struck her as odd. She couldn't even remember laughing when she was actually happy. But why was she happy? She was helping plot the downfall of her home planet and she was actually truly happy?
"I guess that's what makes me different Gir."
"I know what you meaaaan." the android said, drawing out the last word.
"No Gir...No you don't. But I'll pretend you do anyway."
"Will you take me to the store in your pouch ta get a brainfreeeeeezy?" he asked in what appeared to be bad persuasion.
Ari tapped her pencil on her notebook for a second thinking about it.
"Sure Gir, lets both go get brainfreezies. Except, keep yours away from my face this time." she smiled.
Ari typed a note down to Zim who had finished the repairs on the damaged comuter screen. The words scrolled across the screen. "Going to store with Gir to get Brainfreezy. Want to come?"
A gloved black hand typed two letters and ran to the elevator in what seemed like excitement.
"Ok."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------
A tall female Irken stood in front of the door leading into the Tallest main transmission room. She smoothed her antennae straight and walked through the doors. An alarm sounded, obviously reacting to the two thieves knives and her trusted energy sword. Before soldiers could come to the Tallest aid, Jaz whipped out a knife in each hand and sliced them into the door sides. She dragged them quickly downwards and hit the alarm which was silenced immediately.
"Jaz, you haven't changed much since I last saw you." Red smiled as he opened his arms in a sort of welcoming gesture.
With unnatural ease Jaz put the knives back where they belonged and walked towards Red.
"Good to see you too, I don't think I could say the same though. First you were a hopeless mind in the Academy, now your...Well actually now that I think of it, no not much has changed at all." she said jokingly, her dark blue eyes narrowed playfully.
Purple had gone off into his own world again, random comments could be heard from where he was sitting, but they did their best to ignore him.
"So, you the rough type of the sissy type?" Asked Purple, obviously unaware that he had just doomed himself.
His comment was met with a sharp punch from Jaz.
"Temper Temper...Whoppeeee!" said Purple as he sank down to his knees and was soon knocked out.
If Red wasn't there to hold the black and gold clothed Irken she may have finished him off, but being tallest is unbearable if your alone. Who would make fun of Zim with him if Purple was dead?
"Ahem...Now, what did you want me here for My Tallest?" asked Jaz with a smirk.
"Oh I have a very special mission for you Jaz, top secret...But it involves you-".