Bout time, stupid chapter. This took me a really long time to get up, either cuz I'm retarded or…lets just go with the first on. "And now, on wit da fun! Ok, I'm done now, can I have my kids back?" lAhem, some JTHM there….CONTINUE ONWARDS! BLOOHAHA!
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All Zim could see was Ari and Dib talk, Ari kept pointing and nodding to Zim, but he couldn't see her expressions because Gir had collapsed in a very odd position. The sound was awful and it hurt Zim's brain to strain to hear the words that were drowned in static. Zim's lips curled as he formed an idea about what was going on.
"She's been on Dib's side this entire time! I bet she's bargaining with him for the price they'll have on my head! Flirking humans, I KNEW I couldn't trust her! I was a fool for believing she was different. . ." He sighed, hanging his head and muttering something to himself. He shook his head quickly and snarled. "Invaders need no one. . .and she's a human anyway."
He began to watch the screen again, but the elevator rang out. Zim quickly saved the movie file, shut off the tape and shoved it into Gir's head. . .It was backwards, but it didn't matter. . .Did it?
"!Daeh ruoy no annaw I !Lrig irA!" Gir pranced over, half falling half skipping towards Ari as she walked into the room, Zim tried to casually minimize the paused movie on the computer screen before she got there. Quirking an eyebrow at the robot who had begun to moonwalk, she made her way to Zim as Gir amazingly ran backwards around her legs as she walked.
He seemed to be different. . .she noticed as she talked with him about their latest plan for world conquest, it seemed Gir had eaten most of their monster files, messing up that plan. Deciding it was too much work, the two had just decided to make themselves bigger and storm the four corners of the world as indestructible giants. And it would be more fun this way.
"I was just thinking we should have some armor or something, I've been drawing some things and thinking of ideas lately. . ." she left off, noticing the uninterested look in Zim's eyes. She had seen that look before a lot, but never in the eyes of him. His bright warm red eyes usually glowed and shone when they spoke, especially about world conquest. (whose wouldn't???) But not now, they were like two cold chunks of ruby, glimmering dark and cold towards her.
"Is something. . .Uh. . .wrong?" she asked timidly, or what she had hoped was timid, she wasn't very used to it.
"No. Everything is fine."
"Your not acting like everything's fine."
As Zim was about to snap at her, Gir tripped over a loose cord while moon walking and flew backwards into Zim's lap, causing him to spin wildly around in the chair. Zim's hand lashed out while he was trying to fling Gir across the room, it smashed into the keyboard which opened the file that was minimized. Ari only saw a quick glance of the screen, but that was all she needed. She ran upstairs quickly, Zim's outbursts about the little robot followed her.
"Horrible flirking robot! I should just-" and it faded away. Ari retreated to the roof after stuffing her bag once again, this time bringing her new black cloak, as it was autumn and the nights were longer she might need it. The time was only about 5:00, but the sun was already setting.
Crimson rays of red and gold shot across the sky as Ari wrote in her best cursive a note for Zim. She stopped writing after a few silent minutes, Zim was probably still dealing with Gir.
"Ari! Ari where-are-you!?" his exasperated and annoyed voice rung out from the house. "I'll be in my lab, don't disturb me!" He sighed, writing that on a kind of high tech palm pilot, the message floated throughout the house as the palm pilot took off from his hand, displaying his note all over the houses computer screens where he'd usually contact the tallest. "Once she goes to sleep she'll be easy to dispatch. . ." he rubbed his hands together, but a sad expression came over his face.
"Too bad, she could have been the one. . .And to think, I, the great ZIM, would have let her join me. . .Ah well, guess she won't need her birthday present after all. . ."He grimaced and smiled, but somewhere, next to his squeedilyspooch something twanged with unhappiness. He seemed to have bonded with the human! The mighty Zim cannot BOND with a human! "I'll have to delete that feeling from my Pak later." he walked off into the lab and locked it.
Gir sat sadly in a large crib with a lock over the top. He squeaked his moose, but it didn't make him laugh insanely like it usually did. Call it Robot Intuition, but he had a feeling bad things were about to happen. . .
-------------------------------------Jaz and Red's Ship---------------------------------------------------------------------
Red laid on Jaz's bed, thinking of the old times when she had first met Purple.
"Please Red, I DON'T want to remember those times."
"Why not? Those were good times! Oh. . .Is it because of-?"
"I DON'T want to talk about it. . ."
"You don't have to tell me then. . .But, what was it like, you know, being a-?"
"A slave you mean? Being stripped of my pride and clothing, beaten, and made so I couldn't transform? Taken away from my home planet? I wasn't there long, thank the tallest, but still, being chained up constantly, and barely fed. That's what it was like Red." she looks away when she's saying this and sighed.
Red just stares in astonishment, surprised a bit that Jaz had actually given in and told him. It had been a while since he had bought her, back then she was a fierce looking little fox creature, locked in a cage barely her size, a scarred and bleeding guard stood by her cage.
"Hey mister, ja vanna buy her?" His voice was like a rusty whisper, quiet and hard to hear but it got the point across well enough.
That day was vivid in his mind still. He remembered how the guard said they had caught her, but she was no good and refused to eat. He gave in, thinking he could add her to his pet collection, Purple and he were actually planning on making a planet for zoo purposes only. She would make a nice addition.
"Remember the time I first took off your collar?" Red asked curiously with a hint of laughter.
"Yea. . ." she smiled. "It was pretty funny though, when I turned into my real form. . ."
"Do it again." he grinned slyly.
"Not now. If I'm seen, who knows what could happen! A Tanzirian princess should NOT be on an Irken made ship, especially not with their leader. . . " she crossed her arms, her hand grazing the dagger as she did so.
"Come on! He made a concentrated face for a moment, "Please?" his voice wheedled.
"Nope."
"Sniffle. Look, I'm sniffling, you have to!!!" he even attempted a puppy dog face.
"That the ugliest thing I have ever seen. . ." she said playfully before giving into his request.
Jaz sighed, then tapped the jewel on her forehead and adjusted it a bit. Closing her eyes for a bit, her form slowly changed. Her long dark and slightly curly hair came back, her antennae faded away as her fox fur replaced it. Her tail twitched as she spread her long furry bat-like wings and stretched.
"It feels good to be back in my old body." She yawned.
Trying to hide the smile and keep his regal attitude at the same time, he held a hand up to her face and stroked her cheek.
"Your still beautiful, no matter what you do. . .How do you do it Jaz?"
Shaking his head in puzzlement while Jaz blushed (although the fur helped a bit) Red turned on the TV across from her bed. His eyes grew to unimaginable sizes as he listened to what the green skinned reporter was saying.
"Tallest, Abducted or Run Off? Today we were all shocked to find out that at the city meeting about Irk's newest planet Blorch should be made into, as the parking planet idea was banned as of this morning. As people entered the auditorium, it was made clear that the "tallest" were puppet imposters! A green warning has been sounded, and planets all over the triple galaxies are being searched as we speak. This is Turi, out, now back with the mold fairy outbreak!" The picture was replaced with dozens of green shapes that darted about the room, some being lured into bags of bread. . .
Red slammed his fist into his hand. "How DARE they ban my parking structure planet idea!"
"Red!? How can you say that!? All of the universe thinks your missing! You've GOT to get back there now!" Jaz was unbelieving as she told this to Red, who just now seemed to be realizing what he had done. . .
--------------------------------------------------Back in Umi's room----------------------------------------------------------------
"Oh my Tallest. . .hey, that's me! What is. . .uh oh, I sure hope that's not what I think it is. . ." Purple laid face down, tied to his chair as the fluttering got louder.
"Feeeee-eeeeeet?" a squeaky voice rang out, although it wasn't very high-pitched it still squeaked oddly enough. "Feeee-eeet! Fee-eet! Fee-eet!" the chanting grew louder as the chair got considerably heavier.
A shape walked up towards Purple's head, he could tell because the chair was creaking under its weight.
Looking up, he gazed into the ever smiling face of a large orange Crackbat. It snickered, said Feet once more hissing and walking over to Purple's feet.
"Hey, wait a minute, THAT'S NOT YOURS!" Purple shrieked as he tugged his foot away from the blood sucking monster.
Not as if that mattered though, the creature grabbed his shoe and yanked it off. Sinking its long fangs into his ankle, it giggled maniacally as it drew blood and lapped it up. Purple lay helpless and cringed, its tongue felt like a razor against his bare skin. Suddenly, he got an idea.
Grabbing for his pocket, his long fingers stretched as far as he could.
"YES!" He peeped to himself, the Crackbat gave him an annoyed look as it chewed his foot.
He threw the object up to his mouth, and using his tongue to dial, a happy voice picked up.
"Hello?"
"HELP, 911, SAVE ME, I'M ABOUT TO HAVE MY ANKLES CHEWED OFF! LOCATE SHIP NUMBER 20523!"
"Dad?! I'll save you!" the voice said with worry and apprehension. . . Although there may have been some excitement in it as well.
"What?? Jes!? Your not the emergency hotline, damn you stupid tongue! Jes, don't worry about me, I'll-
The phone line was dead.
"Great, the batteries have run out, why don't you just explode while your at it!?
He glared at the phone, it blew up obediently. Then he remembered the latest technology craze being "explodable batteries, explode when they die!" He cursed some more.
He thought about Jes, his daughter. Well, she wasn't really his daughter, she had been given some of his DNA as an experiment when she was abducted off of Earth. She used to have glasses. . .and furry purple antennae, what was it called? Heir? Hare? Eh whatever, anyway she was weird looking. "Stupid Red, go and make me a daughter while I'm sleeping, I told him no more earthling crossovers!" he grumbled to himself. But Jes had Magic, and a lifestone embedded in her forehead, so she was an exception. Since the experiment to irkenize her nearly wiped her memory completely, she had stayed with the Tallest until her memory had come back.
"I'm going to miss being alive." thought Purple sadly.
Something skidded to a halt outside the door. It was kicked open, Jes's gun pointed to the Crackbat. It retreated back a bit as Britt, Jes's Sir unit ran over and untied Purple completely.
"Jes! You're here? That was. . .fast." he almost said "a surprise" but the thing Jes did next made him glad he didn't.
"Oh dad! I'm so glad you're ok!" she embraced him lovingly, Purple just realizing that she must really care about him.
"Stand back, I'm gonna blow this little bastard away!" her gun made a whirring noise as the scope locked onto the spider bat.
"What?"
'Sorry, earth swears. FLIRK YOU, YA LITTLE SCHNIT!" she shot, the Crackbat flipped over and exploded into 5 pieces.
"Jes! Where did you learn those sailor words???"
"Heh, I hang out with Jaz, remember?"
"Oh yeah. . ."
There conversation was interrupted by Britt's frantic tugging on Purple's robe. Pointing wildly to the Crackbat's dead body, only it was more than one dead body, and they weren't exactly dead.
5 slightly smaller-than-the-original Crackbats now stood, hissing furiously at them. Jes fired more shots into them. The same happened, they exploded, but then each of the severed blobs sprouted eight legs, two curved horns, the same creepy smile and wide eyes, and a pair of large wings.
"I HATE SPIDERS! EAT THIS YA LITTLE MONSTERS!" Jes screeched, realizing what earth creature they had been so similar to. She was about to blast them all away with her lifestone, but they took to the skies.
"I suggest we run like pansies." said Purple nervously, taking Jes with him as they both edged out of the room.
"PANSY AWAY!" said Jes, they both turned and ran with the creatures in hot pursuit.
------------------------------------------------------Umi sits in his closet---------------------------------------------------------
He sat there, licking his grape flavored foot. (Accident at a juice company I believe)
"Mmmmmm, foot tastin', one of my favorite past time activities!"
Umi cocked an antenna to the side as he saw something wearing frills and ribbons go by, that was Purple, something with long curled antenna that somewhat looked like Tak, that was Jes, and a robot that was almost exactly like Gir but pink instead of blue. . .
Then, he spotted why they were all running. A considerable amount of Crackbats flew after them, all chanting, "FEEEEE'EEEEEET!" Faster and faster.
A stray from the mob saw Umi holding a cupcake.
"Feee'eeeet?"
"Uhm, no, we don't sell feet here, sorry!"
Its fangs bared, it screamed FEEE'EEET! And with that, half of the group split off and began chasing Umi.
He started running, his crimson colored Sir ran with him, his bright cyan eyes as wide as Umi's silver ones.
Hallway through hallway, Umi's boots slammed into the ground with Biz's metal clinking alongside him, long antennae whipped around, he winced, as antennae were very easily hurt. Turning a corner, he saw Purple, Jes, and Britt running. Jes could read his eyes as they all leapt through the sliding door to their left, it shut with a small shleenk! noise behind them.
Red and Jaz sat on her bed, Jaz was still trying to persuade Red to leave, he was putting up a bit of a fight, as he had to go get Purple, but Jaz wasn't supposed to know he was onboard the ship…
The two blinked in surprise at the panting mass of metal and flesh that held the door shut. Britt and Biz melted the door shut as best as they could while Purple heaved an explanation.
"So-many! Red, you-flirking-moron!!! Get-us-off-ship, now!!! HUNDREDS-horrible-monsters, so-awful!" He breathed heavily as he clutched his lungs.
Before Red could ask anything, the door thudded as large dents appeared in its metal frame, the Crackbats were coming in.
Jes and Purple leapt out of the way as the door flew away from the wall where it was melted into, hundreds of football sized Crackbats flooded in. Red grabbed Jaz seconds before the door permanently wedged itself into the ships structure, ripping off half the bed clean with it where Jaz had been. Jaz struggled out of Red's arms as she whipped out her thieves knives, twirling them around her fingers.
Purple and Jes waved their arms back and forth dramatically. "NO, NO MORE CUTTING, SLICING, OR SHOOTING!!! IT MAKES MORE!!!"
Quirking an eyebrow at the blob of Crackbats that hung suspended in the air, she sheathed her knives quickly. "Then it's the blade of my energy sword you'll be eating!" she roared leaping into the crowd before they had a chance to make any attacks on her "friends". Her wings were bitten and torn at as her tail lashed in the air, her energy sword a bright flaming inferno as Crackbats were disintegrated at the touch of it, turning into a dead pile of ashes each time.
Jes soon joined in, not allowing Jaz to have all the fun. Taking something from her Pak, she grinned evilly as 50 or so of the monsters flew for her. She waited for them to be 2 or 3 feet away before turning her flamethrower on. Shrieking and writhing in agony, the Crackbats dropped to the ground as their wings and bodies burned to dust.
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ETCETERA! YAY! Ok, so my story is going nowhere, I'm up for suggestions lol. Sorry it took so long, bad naughty people, not wishin my friend a happy birthday eh!? Oh well, Jaz will just be forced to slit your throats, I mean, not wish you a happy birthday either lol. And she's not a slut, just…..Jaz. Next chapter HOPEFULLY it'll get better, if not my story will ULTIMATELY SUCK! And thanks for your comments, I haven't gotten a single flamer yet, they must not be bothering to read it its so sucktacular. . .I…..guess that's good…