Hello All, thanks Ravwrin and NeverAgainTruth, and Multiple Lilys and EVERYONE who bothered to read this and review it. I feel warm and fuzzy. It is disgusting. HI LEJINDARY BUNNY! ::Waves insanely:: I'd love to do a cameo for Kiir! She sounds neato cool, is she tall? She seems tall to me….I finished reading your fic! Then FF.net chose to die. . .Hmm, some good songs to listen to while reading this story or doing ANYTHING Zimmish for that matter are- Tears of Pearls by Savage Garden for Ari, Head Like a Hole by Nine Inch Nails for Zim and Dib, A Million Miles away from Home by Dune for…I dunno Zim I guess…..Dun make fun o' my selective musical tastes, or I'll shove a fish up your- ahem.
--------------------On Zim's Couch Upstairs--------------------
Ari was teasing Zim as he snapped Gir's chest plate back on.
"All done. Worthless little robot. . ." He muttered standing Gir up.
"You know;" Ari said flipping off her shoes and pulling off her socks. "Ever since I met you I've gotten attacked. . .one. . .two. . .three-" she began to count off her fingers and Zim cast a mutinous look at her. Gir squeaked as he was turned on.
He took one look at Ari, surveying her up and down and pausing on her bare feet. Throwing his hands to where cheeks would have been in mock expression, he screamed in horrified excitement, "PORNOGRAPHY!"
This caused Zim to look over and immediately blushed a darker shade of green, he looked away and fumbled for Gir's off switch while Ari looked completely blank faced.
Gir flung his arms behind his back and screamed in a somewhat threatening way, "I'M GETTIN' THE CAM'RA!"
Zim slapped a hand to his face and seemed quite embarrassed as he made a grab for the wild giggling robot who had turned and run into the kitchen.
"If I wasn't so confused I'd be terribly embarrassed. . ." Ari thought to herself as she coiled the bandage above her ankle tighter.
-----------------------------::jaws music starts playing::-------------------------------------
The dark shadow inched slowly along the corridor. Its robes silently fluttering as it's shadowy hand snaked its way to the doorknob. Effortlessly the door swung open instead of sliding, as so few did aboard the massive. The figure stalked along the walls, tumbling and rolling, its main target was in sight.
Red was oblivious to the shifty character rolling and tumbling from one side of the room to the other as he flipped through a magazine with the TV slightly murmuring in the background.
The black shape paused before continuing its quite purposeless rolls and ducks, slowly making its way to the beanbag resembling chair sat its target. The poor unsuspecting fool, he could not be aware of the screaming horrible pain about to be unleashed by his pursuer!
Once again, only inches away from the soon-to-be victims head snaked the hand, and then it flashed out, striking him down.
"AGGGGHHHH! PURPLE, YOU FLIRKING- AGHHHHHHH! I'LL KILL YOU- GEEEEAAAAAHHHH!"
Red screeched in agony as he held his antenna that had just been flicked.
"Hah ha ha, not likely Partner! That's for putting a dead. . .thing in my bed!" he triumphantly announced.
"You deserved it after switching my soda supply with liquid pig toes!"
"But that was only because you glued my slippers to the floor!"
"Heh heh heh, yea I did." Red smirked to himself before Purple hit him in the back of his head before walking off.
Red growled to himself. "Note to self, hire boxer eating wood nymphs and hide in Purple's closet day of big interview. Heh heh, yea that'll learn him."
And so the prank war began, due to the idiocy and overall stupidity of Tallest Red, peace on the massive between the two would not be a thing easily accomplished. Ever again.
----Bow down before he one you serve, your going to get what you deserve----
It took a while for Zim to spit out the feet explanation, and by then Ari had just about been ready to ask if anything else mind scarring and life changing could possibly be in store for her that night. First a failed suicide, then a dream come true from Zim, A malformed Sir attack, and now a theory on how sandals were the equivalent of lingerie. Great, just peachy.
She yawned and stretched, glancing at her digital watch.
"Zim, are you aware that its 1:42 AM?" She sleepily glanced at him as his skin slowly faded from its green blush. He returned the look with some surprise to his voice.
"Really? Uh, by Earth time I'm guessing that's-"
"Late enough for human wormbaby's such as myself to be sleeping. Another one of our oh-so-plentiful weak-"she yawned "-nesses. Zim it just occurred to me, but I've never actually seen you sleep, except for that. . .time." she trailed off slowly murmuring the last bit. Ari really didn't feel like bringing up what happened in the alley way, after all it has started all of this. . .
"We really don't need it, but it is nice to catch a few hours every now and then." Zim's eyes met with the floors for a bit and he stifled a small laugh. "You really kicked the shit out of Dib. . ."
Ari laughed a bit, though embarrassed a bit. "It wasn't that hard actually. . .You must be pretty ashamed though, having someone as worthless as me saving the life of someone like you. . ." there was something that sounded like truth and admiration almost in her voice.
Zim didn't say anything for a while, his ruby eyes shone with something, but it wasn't embarrassment, that was for sure.
"I'm not ashamed. . ." he said quietly, more to himself then to her, but she caught it.
"I'm going to go to sleep. . ." she began to sit up and slowly advance on the elevator with Zim watching her. Something was nagging at his mind. . .
"Sweet shnit!" his mind rang out as he ran up to the elevator and caught up with her.
He couldn't let her see the room like that, not after all that had happened that night. How he had told her he loved her, and then she sees her room with stab marks and ripped everything?! He began to think of an excuse for her not to sleep in that room, but suddenly his excuse made a loud smashing noise from the lab.
Ari's ears clearly heard the crashing, and her heart definitely wanted to investigate, but her brain was persuading all with its appealing "No care, just sleep" idea. And with that she hit the button to go to the second floor.
"Uhm, Ari. . .Maybe you should sleep in. . ." Zim had just realized, unlike most normal houses, that he in fact did NOT have a guest room. "Uh. . .My room tonight." It was a good thing he was too worried that this would work to blush or he may have disappeared with the dark green wallpaper behind him.
Her response was a suspicious raised eyebrow followed by a yawning sigh.
"Alright Zim, whatever you say." came a sleepy late reply.
---------------------------------------
THWAK!
Jaz smiled. Late night blade throwing always was a good thing to do on sleepless nights. Or when Umi is having a reoccurring nightmare about singing feet and mushrooms. . .
THWAK THWAK THWAK!
3 more blades imbedded themselves in the Irken shaped dummy, two between the eyes and one in the squeedily-spooch.
One more zinged through the air as it sliced off both the wire antennae as its deadly curved blade made a boomerang shape in the air. Concentrating for a second at the knifes approach back, Jaz carefully leapt a few feet in the air and grabbed the handle. She grinned, last time she tried it she nearly cut her hand off.
She twiddled the odd knife in her hand and put it away, replacing the one in her hand with a small dagger. As she paused at the doorway, she threw it casually over her shoulder.
THUNK!
She bemusedly turned around and glanced at its spot, which was right in between the legs. She laughed to herself.
"Whoever he is, he doesn't stand a chance. . ." before walking back down the black inky hallway. (And its true, he doesn't. . . )
Strange noises echoed off the empty walls of her ship, she raised a nonexistent eyebrow and peered into the room to her left. There sat Umi looking quite enthused with the TV. He slowly turned around and looked Jaz in the eyes from his spot on the floor.
"I am from Holland! Isn't that veeeird???"
Jaz gave Umi an odd look as she watched the words "Goldmember" roll across the screen for a commercial break. Umi was in hysterics all the while.
"Umi, what are you watching. . .?" came the reply that stopped Umi's crazed laughter.
"Tis GOLDMEMBA! AN HEES FRUM 'OLLAND! 'AHAHAHAHAHA!"
Jaz was a bit confused at this point, although she retained the spark of sarcasm in her voice when she said "Ok then Umi, answer me this. 1. Where is this show broadcasting from, 2. What is Holland, and 3. What's with the accent???"
"Uhm. . .Gee Jaz, Oi 'honestly dunno! Oi finds it playin when me turns un tha teeveh, an 'ere tis! Loik MAGIC! Oi watched it yesterday too!"
"Uh huh. I guess we're picking up broadcasting signals from Earth."
Suddenly a commercial for shoes came on, long black boots and nearly nothing shoes came on, women slipping feet into them. Jaz recoiled and fell backwards onto the couch.
"UMI! TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!!!"
Umi kept staring at the feet wiggle from shoe to shoe.
"Woah Jaz. . .They're PINK!"
"Oh great, wonderful." murmured Jaz as she looked away and grabbed the remote and turned it off. The TV made a beewoop! Sound as it shut off.
"Aww, just when it was getting good!"
Jaz said nothing and shook her head slowly to the sides.
"I'm going to bed." she turned and left from the room. Umi grinned and pressed the on button again, only nothing happened.
"AND I'm taking the remote with me." came the faint reply as Umi realized too late that all the TV's onboard were controller operated.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
-----------------------Oh man, I just failed a science exam----------------------------------------
Zim inconspicuously tapped a few buttons on the wall as he and Ari slowly walked through the slanted hallway. His antennae twitched as he heard the computer start changing room 14 around, which happened to be Ari's. In the morning, its rushed makeover would be complete. . .
Zim paused for a moment as he opened the door to his rarely used room.
"Uhm. . .You can take the bed. . ." he murmured.
She did nothing but smirk.
"Oh but Zim, It wouldn't be kind for me to take your bed, where would you go?"
He shrugged then motioned to the huge unnoticeable at first armchair that sat in the corner of his room.
"Deal." she grinned, knowing how to manipulate people to give herself the worse end. Another common part of true loyalty damnit.
She walked over and leapt into the armchair, curling into a small ball and leaving Zim behind to frown.
"That's not. . .wait. . .so I? Hmm…CURSE YOU HUMANS! Your always screwing with my mind Ari!"
She lazily opened an eye and looked at him. "Call it talent. Now go to bed."
Zim looked confused at her mothering words. A slight smile slipped across his faint trace of lips as he climbed into his bed. Ari victory smiled to herself as she heard the bed creak with Zim's added weight for a moment. Until an fluttering sound made her eyes snap open too late. She scrambled around as the thing started suffocating her and fell out of the chair.
FWOOMPH.
She yanked the blanket down off her head that Zim had thrown to her, but before she could speak any daggers, a pillow met with her face.
"Mmph!" she squeaked before the pillow collided with her. She threw that onto the chair behind her and stood up to see Zim laughing his head off.
"Shut up!" she tried to stifle a little laugh as she faked her anger. "Good, I'm keeping them now. Whatcha gonna do about it?"
"I'm going to ignore you and go to sleep." his grinning face disappeared beyond the mounds of blankets on his bed.
"Feh." And with that she clambered back into the chair and went to sleep with the new pillow and blanket.
----------------At the Massive-Say there's a few hours time difference ok?------------------
The rug folded and slid as Purple's new slippers seemed to run in place, with Red in hot pursuit.
"I'M GOING TO DESTROY YOU PURPLE!" Red yelled, his hands making a strangling motion as he caught up with his robed companion. He lunged.
Purple stopped running and Red slammed face first into the wall. Purple grinned like an idiot before he started running again.
The enraged Tallest pushed himself pushup-style and clenched his fingers into a crude fist.
"YOU'LL REGRET THE DAY YOU PUT ITCHING POWDER IN MY UNDERWEAR! AND YOU KNEW WE HAD THAT HUGE INTERVIEW TODAY TOO!" And that having been said, he took off again, stealing one of the guard's next to him's staffs.
And itching himself all the while.
---------------------------------Mmmmm Puffed Rice--------------------------------------------
"COME ON YOU FLIRKIN IDIOTS, IT'S A STUPID HOLE! YA EITHER GO THROUGH IT OR JUST GO AROUND IT, YA DON'T STAND HERE FOR 6 FRICKIN' HOURS LOOKING AT IT!"
Jes had had most unfortunate luck with some foreign aliens. They obviously weren't accustomed to Irken Transportation systems, and had been throwing random stuff from their ships into the black hole.
"O' for crying out loud…" Jes murmured, tapping some buttons and gripping a rather oddly large lever.
"Mistress. . .Uhm what are you doing?"
"We're 7 ships behind those idiots, I intend on being first. I CAN'T wait ANY longer. The Irken space patrol isn't here, and I bet there's some law that says you can do this. . ."
"Wait-what are you doing-?!" Britt asked desperately as Jes's fingers twitched.
"AND WE GO!" Laughed Jes as she grabbed the lever back, the jets on the back and bottom of her voot exploded into life. Britt was flung back a bit from the force, but Jes leaned into it, biting her lip a bit as she swerved in an out and between ships.
"And a little welcome gift to the newcomers . . ." a jet of bluish silver liquid shot out from one of the cannons on the back of her ship, splattering all over the foreigner's ship window as Jes warped into the Black Hole.
--------------------------Woo, I don't think this story gets more pathetic than this------------------------------
Ari shivered. Somewhere, there must have been a window open. . .Or maybe Irkens didn't need heating, after all they didn't need much sleep after all. . .Either way she was freezing, not to mention the creepy sounds she kept hearing from time to time.
She bit her lip, if anyone saw this. . .Oh well.
Giving in to her own foolish idea, she silently slipped out of the chair and paused when she reached Zim's bed. He looked so peaceful, his large eyes shut in a world of bliss and happiness, it was hard to believe these were the same eyes that were the cold cruel ones that would take over Earth. . . But that could wait, as it must have been around four in the morning and she wasn't thinking clearly enough as it was. Ari skillfully climbed into Zim's overlarge bed and snuggled into the pillows, she could still feel his body heat from them. She was glad Zim was a heavy sleep so it seemed, and the fact he had its back to her anyway.
As she was closing her eyes and letting herself get swept away into a world of sleep and dreams, she near silently whispered to herself, "I'll be gone before he wakes up. . ."
Zim opened an eye for a second and smiled.