Preface: The following story is set in the worlds of "Super Smash Brothers" and all characters therein are liable to appear in it. Characters, out of my own volition, will act spontaneously, and act in an otherwise unprecedented way in comparison to their individual game appearances. This story is the spawn of my overactive imagination, so don't be surprised if the plot takes an unusual turn towards the absolutely absurd. I'd also like to note very briefly that I do not own any of these characters, and neither do you so don't complain about how I make them act!
Captain Falcon looked up from the newspaper as Luigi, his mechanic, came in to give him his morning cup of coffee. He set it on the desk. "Thank you, Luigi," Falcon said distractedly. Luigi left and Falcon looked back to the paper. He read out loud, "Infamous bounty hunter, Samus Aran, pulls off daring theft, stealing twelve million rupees worth of top-secret biotech research." He stood and paced around his spacious office. There were many awards tacked to the wall: "Most Gifted Villain of the Year", "Sneakiest Racer of the Month Award", "Dirty Back-stabber Certification", and one that drew Falcon's attention just then, "Bounty Hunter Hunting License". 'Ah,' he thought. 'With that armor, I could win even more awards.' He sat back at his desk and took his address book from the drawer. "Let's see, let's see…Someone who's so arrogant that he won't be able to stand to lose." He flipped through the pages and stopped at "M". "Ah, of course! Fox McCloud! He's perfect for this. I'll hire him to steal that armor for me, and then I'll win that "Fiendishly Devious Award", and then I can apply for my VEP license!" (*Very Evil Person*).
Fox McCloud reclined in the pilot's seat of the Arwing. He was becoming annoyed with that stupid robot, Andross. 'Why couldn't I have become a criminal like Samus? Twelve million in biotech research! What I couldn't do with that much money...' His thoughts were interrupted as the comm. panel blinked signaling an incoming transmission. He pressed the switch. "Fox here. Speak." The instruments crackled to life as the voice of Captain Falcon made its way over the connection.
"Fox! I'm so glad I reached you." Fox made a disgusted face, glad the Arwing's visual system was down.
"What do you want, Falcon? I'm a little busy with Andross right now." He maneuvered the Arwing easily through a dense section of asteroids.
"Well, I'm sure you've heard of that daring heist Samus pulled off?"
"Yeah, what of it?"
"I want you to get that armor for me." Fox almost burst out laughing at Falcon's ludicrous request.
"And what's in it for me?" Fox asked, not willing to do anything for no reason.
"How about a full upgrade for The Great Fox and its entire fleet?" There was a long pause. "You still with me?" Fox found his voice.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm still here." Fox was trying to imagine a time when The Great Fox and its entire fleet were all in perfect working condition. He couldn't think of one. "Falcon, I think you have yourself a deal."
"Terrific. When can I plan on seeing you? I'll be outfitting you for this adventure, after all." Fox smiled, still not believing his luck.
"In about three days, Captain. I have to get back to The Great Fox and reprovision the Arwing, then I'll swing by."
"Good, good. I'll be looking forward to seeing you again, Fox. It's been way too long." Captain Falcon ended the transmission and Fox grimaced painfully.
"Perhaps not long enough," he said between clenched teeth. He was left alone in the silence of deep space once again.
Captain Falcon smiled and leaned back in his chair. "Luigi!" he yelled. His mechanic ran into the room.
"Yes, sir?"
"You work on cars, am I right?" Luigi looked confused.
"Yes, sir. That's why you hired me."
"Of course, of course. And you know other mechanics," he stated, rather than asked.
"Yes, a couple."
"Would you know of any who work on BioTech armor?" Luigi thought hard for about two seconds before he shook his head. Falcon became angry. "What good are you? Get out. I'll handle it myself!" Luigi left quickly. 'Hmmm,' Falcon thought. He picked up his address book again and started riffing through the pages. "Ah, what the heck," he said. He closed his eyes, then flipped through the book, and stopping on a page, he put his finger down on a name. When he looked at what his finger had landed on, he was pleasantly surprised. "Ness, of course. That should have been at the front of my mind all along. A child genius with way too much spare time on his hands…perfect." Falcon picked up the phone and dialed Ness's number.
Ness stood outside in the expansive backyard of his luxurious mansion. He was ankle deep in the koei pond practicing some yo-yo tricks when the cell phone in his pocket vibrated, signaling an incoming call. He threw the yo-yo onto the ground and dug the phone out of his pocket. "Who is it?" he asked into the phone. He heard a familiar chuckle.
"Always the cautious one, aren't you, Ness?" Falcon asked. Ness made a disgusted face.
"Oh, Captain Falcon. What do you want? Because I'm not going to play along with anymore of your hair-brained schemes."
"Oh, come now, my boy. That last misfortune was just that: the last. What do you want more than anything in the world, besides the world?" Ness had to think about that one…being a multi-billionaire at age 13, he never had to think about what he didn't have because he had it all. The pause was so long, Falcon felt the need to say something. "Not even that biotech research Samus had just recently filched? You can't tell me that that isn't a wee bit enticing." He waited for Ness to mull it over.
'Of course it's enticing,' Ness thought. 'I could definitely put it to use developing my plans to take over the world. The question is, is Falcon telling the truth, or just leading me on? Maybe I should take the risk. What have I got to lose?' "Ok, Falcon, I'm listening. If I'm in it for the stolen goods, what are you getting out of it?"
"Of course, of course. All you have to do is reprogram Samus's armor so I'll be able to wear and control it." Ness was in a state of disbelief.
"That can't be all, Falcon. And besides, you don't even have the armor…do you?" He heard Falcon laugh.
"Not yet, my friend. I'm in the process of. So, think you can do it?" Ness felt offended by his question.
"Of course I can do it. The question is, can you get the armor?" Ness hung up before Captain Falcon could respond.
"Heh. What a nice boy," he said to himself. "But it all rests on Fox actually getting the armor. Three days…it's almost unbearable." He stood up and stretched. "Ah, well, that was a very productive morning…I suppose I'll head out to the race track and place a bet for someone to lose." Falcon laughed heartily, left his office, and headed down to the tracks.
As Fox entered the bridge on the Great Fox his pet pikachu bounded up to him. "Hey, Pikachu," Fox said warmly. He was glad he had kept the little pokemon when he had left the pokeworld. The little animal seemed to understand him better than most people he knew. Fox addressed the pilot. "Set a course for Port Town." The pilot looked at him strangely. "What is the problem?"
"Well, sir, I thought Captain Falcon lived there…" Fox interrupted him angrily, not wanting to, or feeling the need explain himself.
"Just do as I say." The pilot turned back to the console to set the course. Fox turned and left the bridge, Pikachu following close on his heels.
After speaking with Falcon, Ness had gone inside his mansion and now stood in the kitchen, looking in the refrigerator, one part of his mind wondering what to eat and the other wondering how he could manage to keep the armor after Falcon gave it to him to reprogram. "That's easy," he said aloud to himself. "When I reprogram it I can use it myself and NOT give it to Falcon, but, I did give my word…then again, since when has Falcon ever kept HIS word? He probably can't even get the armor himself. I'll have to do it for him, and reward myself with the grand prize!"
Ness chuckled evilly to himself. He rather liked being the smartest and richest kid in the universe. Of course, being such, he wasn't about to go out there himself and get his own hands dirty. "Now, who could I possibly coerce into getting that armor for me?" he asked himself as he pulled a can of soda from the fridge. "He'll have to be strong enough to beat Samus, and stupid enough to actually go through with it AND stay loyal to me…Hmm…" Pressing a button on the wall, Ness was instantly transported to his personal study where he kept important paper work. On the wall hung a few impressive grades from school, before he quit and started planning on taking over the world. He tapped on the vid-screen and browsed his list of stupid loyal people. He knew so many of them, but one caught his eye. "Of course! Link! That brat from Hyrule. I so much as hint that it's for a good cause and he'll have Samus beat within 72 hours! I'll send a holo-message to him right away."
Meanwhile, in another part of the galaxy, Samus Aran sat at a corner table in a scummy night club with her pet Mario, who sat under the table at her feet. She removed her helmet and ran a hand through her long green hair. She still couldn't believe that she had pulled off the heist. Of course, she only had the research data, and that in itself was worth twelve million. If only she could find someone to sell it to; that was the problem. She was probably worth more than the research at any rate, and whoever she sold it to would have to want the research more than the money.
Samus reached under the table and patted her Mario on the head. He had been a crucial part of the theft, leading the guards to believe that he was stealing the research so Samus could sneak in undetected. The easiest part was breaking her dear Mario out of jail afterwards. He was so very loyal, and an endangered species at that. She sighed and ordered another drink. At least she was safe here; it wasn't called the Bounty for nothing.
Link had been wandering the forest for quite some time, his faithful Kirby trailing behind him. There had to be something he could do, some cause he could fight for, some world that needed saving…cutting short his thoughts, though, was a small round metal object that whizzed by and came back to hover in front of his face. "What's this?" he asked Kirby cautiously. He hadn't had much dealings with higher technology and this sphere could pose a potential threat. His faithful Kirby just shrugged its shoulders and shook its head. Link poked the sphere with the tip of his sword and it suddenly started glowing. The green-clad Hylian jumped back, startled, but then paid closer attention as a hologram of Ness, the nice crazy boy he had met a while back, appeared over the sphere.
"Greetings, Link of Hyrule," the image said. "No doubt you remember me; I'm Ness, and I'm planning on tak…ahem…making sure the universe is under peaceful rule. To achieve this goal, and I assure you, it's for a very good cause, I need the armor of the bounty hunter Samus Aran. I can't explain all the details, it's top secret, but again, believe me when I say it's for a very good cause. If you accept, and I'm sure you will, there will be further instructions at these coordinates." Ness disappeared and a set of numbers and a compass appeared. Link grabbed the sphere and studied the coordinates and immediately started towards them.
"Come, my faithful Kirby," Link said joyously. "We are duty bound to help with this very good cause, and if Ness says it's a good cause, well, then it must be!"