Cheating…
Barry zoomed through the street, experimenting with his web, trying to get more speed out of swinging, he'd sort of gotten used to it now. Ah, watch those lamp posts. Sometimes he needed to swing from lamp posts, but then he'd need to watch out for the floor, which he scrapped his knee on once.
Eventually he got to the bank, and he just walked into through the front door, then quickly he jumped across and under a nearby table which had been pushed on its side. It seems Barry had picked the wrong bank to rob, two other masked robbers were already robbing it.
(Robber #1) "Hand us MORE money woman!"
(Robber #2) "Yeah, and hurry the fu-"
Barry jumped out and webbed the first one into the wall, the other pointed his gun at Barry, but Barry jumped onto the wall to dodge it, then he webbed the gun out of his hand, then threw the Bank Robber through the glass which separated the customers and bankers. Barry jumped through, then webbed the other robber into the ceiling.
(Innocent) "Wow! What a hero!"
Everyone started clapping and cheering, the bankers started patting him on the back.
(Barry) "No! NO! Stop cheering!" *Filling bags with money* "I'm here to ROB this bank, not to save it."
(Innocent) "Wooo! Three cheers for Spiderman!"
(Barry Thinking) "Ugh. These people are impossible."
As Barry walked away from his three cheers, with several bags of money in his hands, he strapped some to his spidey belt and leapt to the side of the bank and climbed all the way to the top. From there he started swinging back to Camden town to meet Jim and tell him the good news. Barry got back to Jim's, and Jim gave Barry a map to show him the way to GOBSCORP.
(Jim) "By the way, why are you going to find out about GOBSCORP?"
(Barry) "Nobody almost knocks my out of the air and gets away with it." (Thinking) "That Green tosser"
Barry climbed back out of the window.
Barry was singing down the street with the bags of money, one split open throwing money down to the people of London, many people living on the streets jumped up and grabbed what they could, some people even started fighting over the money floating down.
(People below) "Hooray for Spiderman!"
Barry continued on for GOBSCORP, he stopped on a building not too far from GOBSCORP, but it could be seen in the distance, it had a Giant sign saying GOBSCORP on it, and it was a massive building.
Inside GOBSCORP:
Everyone is sitting at a table:
(Employee) "Well, what are we going to do about our money problem?"
*Suddenly crashing through the window, The New and Improved Spiderman lands on the table, and magically smashes every bag of money scattering money everywhere and making it float through the air.*
(Employee) "Now that doesn't happen often does it?"
(Barry) "I'd like to buy GOBSCORP." So Barry Bought GOBSCORP, becoming the new president, and the old one became magically fired…
"How can the board fire me?! I have given my soul to this company! Three damn years of work, all gone!" Some old man was rambling on about, while he crushed a paper cup in his hand, sending hot coffee all over his hand. "If I go, the company will go muahahaha!" *Pressing Button on device on desk* "Professor, prepare the Mantis serum, it's time for a real test."
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………....
Barry got home, and sat down in his chair for a good's night rest, well, he'd done a lot today, he'd almost got knocked out of the air by some green prat, robbed a bank, Bought a doomed company, learned to swing from building to building, and all in one day.
(TV Presenter) "…In other news, GOBSCORP latest models, the Mantis Suit and glider, have been stolen, and the serum all used. Although all of these weapons are top secret, the News Corporation have the power to kill anyone who stands in our way, so stuff anyone who says we shouldn't be releasing this information since we're evil and just interested in making profit… This just in…………" Barry sat up for a minute, 'wow, I wonder what that's about'.
The next day Barry was on his way to GOBSCORP went suddenly, a giant explosion shattered half of the building, sending all hopes of finding the Green Uncle Fucker up shit creek. Barry Quickly swung towards the building to see if anything was left of the doomed company. Barry dropped down into the flaming, ash filled remains of what used to be a building. Suddenly, the Green Gobbler dropped down and slapped Barry across the face.
(Green Gobbler) "Ah ha! You're too late! Rushing here to rescue as many people as you can, but you're too late I've already killed the senior Executives!"
(Barry) "Hey, fuck you! I couldn't give twelve monkey's asses about any of these people! I just wanted a chance to meet you again,"*cracking his knuckles* "and finished what we started!"
(Green Gobbler) "Started? Listen, we can work together! Rules these puny creatures together!"
(Barry) "Shit yo, I was just thinking of making some profit, but your idea is much better."
(Green Gobbler) "So, you've decided to go against me, just as I thought."
(Barry) "What?! No listen dude, I want to work with you."
(Green Gobbler) "You fool, I've given you the chance of a lifetime, and you've thrown it away."
(Barry) "Ugh, what is it with this story?!"
Suddenly some dude jumps down into the building (or what used to be a building) and threw a Cigarette at The Green Gobbler.
(Green Gobbler) "Ahh no, cigarette buts, my only weakness! How did you know?"
(Strange Fag Throwing dude) "What the fu-" The next words were cut out by the Green Gobbler climbing onto his glider and flying off, but Barry was sure the word was fudge.
(Barry) "Who the hell are you?"
(Strange Fag Throwing dude)*Smoking a cigarette* "I am…… (*Mysterious Drum roll*) The Amazing Fag man!" (Dun dun dun)
(Barry) "Wow, I'm the New and improved Spiderman!"
(Fag Man) "Wow, your costume is the best dude, you wear your normal clothes, and just wear a mask and some gloves."
(Barry) "Hey, You're no prize either, you have a paper bag over your head with a mouth hole and a two eye holes, then you have a belt filled with fags, and a backpack, then you have-"
(Fag Man) "-enough!"
(Barry) "How come you showed up anyway, I thought I was the hero of this story?"
(Fag Man) "Well, you suck so much, that the author needed someone good to help you out, so you don't die ya'know, you are the hero after all." *Puffin' his cigarette*
(Barry) "Oh, well we'd better chase after that glider dude, I don't want to lose him,"
(Fag Man) "What ever you say."
Fag Man and Barry jumped out of the 'what used to be a building' sort of building and swung after The Green Gobbler, As Barry swing, the Fag man sprouted out his own web, which made him swing further, amazingly further, although the Fag Man slowed down for Barry.
Suddenly, as Barry came around a corner and swung off his web, his web cartridges stopped shooting, he swung into mid air, and started to fall. Before Barry Landed he looked over at Fag Man to see what he was doing, Fag Man was quickly smoking as much as he could, then he started to glue his cigarette buts to his foot. (?) Barry quickly changed his left hand's web cartridge and webbed over to a nearby lamp post and hit it making a loud thud and then he slid down the lamp post and landed on the floor with a painful *Crack*. Meanwhile, Fag man landed safely since the ash from his cigarette butt covered foot cushioned his landing.
(Passer by looking at Fag Man) "Oh that was so cool."
(Fag Man) "Come on Spidey, get up,"
(Barry) "Ouch."
(Fag Man) "What's the matter? That couldn't have hurt that much."
(Barry) "That's easy for you to say, you didn't sit on yourself when you hit the floor."
(Fag Man) "Ouch man,"
After about an hour of recuperation, Barry was able to walk again, he decided to take the rest of the afternoon off. After he got back to his house, Barry sat down and switched on the TV, and the news flickered on.
(TV presenter) "Today's top story, some crazy loser is flying around in circles above the tower of London, many people are throwing cans at this lunatic but none have managed to knock him out of the air. Since this flying maniac started flying over 5 hours ago, people have already turned it into an amusement for which tourists are paying to see and get pictures of, the Evil local shops have also started selling gifts and souvenirs of this Green menace. Although he looks like a loser in a suit from a bad comic, police say there is nothing to fear… In other news the mayor of London has spontaneously combusted…"
(Barry) "Hey, that looks just like that Green Mother Fu… no, I'll find out where he is in the morning."
Barry went to bed with a glass of painkillers, the next day he would go and see Jim, see if he knew anything about the whereabouts of the Green Gobbler.
Next day, Barry was at Jim's house.
(Barry) "So, do you know anything about this Green Gobbler, like where he might be?"
(Jim) "The dictionary says: Defendant noun 1 someone who resists attack 2 law the accused in a law case."
(Barry) "What?"
(Jim) "Sorry, I've got this terrible illness, it's called 'Copyrightus Theftus'."
(Barry) "What the hell are you talking about?"
(Jim) "Huh? What, oh never mind."
(Barry) "Well? Do you know anything about the Green Gobbler?"
(Jim) *Typing on his PC* "It seems, the Green Gobbler is after you, he's posted a bounty on you, he wants you taken to the tower of London…?"
(Barry) "Right! Gotcha!"
(Jim) "Hey, you know it might be a trap or…." *The Curtains at the window blow in the wind, with the window wide open and no sign of Barry* "…never mind."
Barry landed on top of the Tower of London, with no sign of the Green Gobbler.
(Barry) "Where the fu-"
Suddenly Barry was kicked down and The Green gobbler flew overhead on his glider. Barry stood up, and threw a discarded piece of wood at the Green Gobbler.
(Green Gobbler) "Ha! You're Weapons are useless against me!"
(Barry) "What kind of crack are you sniffing?!"
Then the Green Gobbler jumped off of his glider and landed on top of the Tower of London, then the Gobbler's blades sprung out.
(Green Gobbler) "Haha! My weapons are still better than yours."
Suddenly Barry pulled out a Shotgun and blasted the gobbler to the other side of the tower's roof.
(Barry) "Dodge that bitch."
(Green Gobbler) *Coughing up blood* "Hey! That's cheating,"
(Barry) "What? There's a Superhero/Super Villain Rule book, ha! I'd like to see that."
The Green Gobbler pulls out a rule book from his pocket and hands it to Barry.
(Barry) "Wow, what do you know, it's also against the rules to wear shoes that glow in the dark."
(Green Gobbler) "Don't tell Harry…"
(Barry) "What? You don't want your son to know that you're the Green Gobbler?"
(Green Gobbler) "No," *coughing up more blood* "Don't tell Harry, my roommate, that I stole a twenty from his wallet to pay for this suit."
(Barry) "Fine," *Barry Pulled the shotgun's trigger again and blew off the Green Gobbler's Head* "Shut the hell up."
Suddenly the amazing Fag man glided down onto the Tower's Roof.
(Fag Man) "Yo Man wassup, I didn't miss anything did …… *Looking at the remains of the Green Gobbler* "Oh holy Jesus. I see you've cleaned up here."
(Barry) "Yeah, just another day in the life of someone who'll pawn anything worth 10p or more."
(Fag Man) "Yeah, it's a good life."
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
"Damn That Spiderman! Now that he's swinging around the other side of London, out News channel never gets any ratings. Hmm, but what can I do? I've got it!" *Pressing a button on his desk* "Get me J, I have… a great idea. Muahahaha"
Barry zoomed through the street, experimenting with his web, trying to get more speed out of swinging, he'd sort of gotten used to it now. Ah, watch those lamp posts. Sometimes he needed to swing from lamp posts, but then he'd need to watch out for the floor, which he scrapped his knee on once.
Eventually he got to the bank, and he just walked into through the front door, then quickly he jumped across and under a nearby table which had been pushed on its side. It seems Barry had picked the wrong bank to rob, two other masked robbers were already robbing it.
(Robber #1) "Hand us MORE money woman!"
(Robber #2) "Yeah, and hurry the fu-"
Barry jumped out and webbed the first one into the wall, the other pointed his gun at Barry, but Barry jumped onto the wall to dodge it, then he webbed the gun out of his hand, then threw the Bank Robber through the glass which separated the customers and bankers. Barry jumped through, then webbed the other robber into the ceiling.
(Innocent) "Wow! What a hero!"
Everyone started clapping and cheering, the bankers started patting him on the back.
(Barry) "No! NO! Stop cheering!" *Filling bags with money* "I'm here to ROB this bank, not to save it."
(Innocent) "Wooo! Three cheers for Spiderman!"
(Barry Thinking) "Ugh. These people are impossible."
As Barry walked away from his three cheers, with several bags of money in his hands, he strapped some to his spidey belt and leapt to the side of the bank and climbed all the way to the top. From there he started swinging back to Camden town to meet Jim and tell him the good news. Barry got back to Jim's, and Jim gave Barry a map to show him the way to GOBSCORP.
(Jim) "By the way, why are you going to find out about GOBSCORP?"
(Barry) "Nobody almost knocks my out of the air and gets away with it." (Thinking) "That Green tosser"
Barry climbed back out of the window.
Barry was singing down the street with the bags of money, one split open throwing money down to the people of London, many people living on the streets jumped up and grabbed what they could, some people even started fighting over the money floating down.
(People below) "Hooray for Spiderman!"
Barry continued on for GOBSCORP, he stopped on a building not too far from GOBSCORP, but it could be seen in the distance, it had a Giant sign saying GOBSCORP on it, and it was a massive building.
Inside GOBSCORP:
Everyone is sitting at a table:
(Employee) "Well, what are we going to do about our money problem?"
*Suddenly crashing through the window, The New and Improved Spiderman lands on the table, and magically smashes every bag of money scattering money everywhere and making it float through the air.*
(Employee) "Now that doesn't happen often does it?"
(Barry) "I'd like to buy GOBSCORP." So Barry Bought GOBSCORP, becoming the new president, and the old one became magically fired…
"How can the board fire me?! I have given my soul to this company! Three damn years of work, all gone!" Some old man was rambling on about, while he crushed a paper cup in his hand, sending hot coffee all over his hand. "If I go, the company will go muahahaha!" *Pressing Button on device on desk* "Professor, prepare the Mantis serum, it's time for a real test."
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………....
Barry got home, and sat down in his chair for a good's night rest, well, he'd done a lot today, he'd almost got knocked out of the air by some green prat, robbed a bank, Bought a doomed company, learned to swing from building to building, and all in one day.
(TV Presenter) "…In other news, GOBSCORP latest models, the Mantis Suit and glider, have been stolen, and the serum all used. Although all of these weapons are top secret, the News Corporation have the power to kill anyone who stands in our way, so stuff anyone who says we shouldn't be releasing this information since we're evil and just interested in making profit… This just in…………" Barry sat up for a minute, 'wow, I wonder what that's about'.
The next day Barry was on his way to GOBSCORP went suddenly, a giant explosion shattered half of the building, sending all hopes of finding the Green Uncle Fucker up shit creek. Barry Quickly swung towards the building to see if anything was left of the doomed company. Barry dropped down into the flaming, ash filled remains of what used to be a building. Suddenly, the Green Gobbler dropped down and slapped Barry across the face.
(Green Gobbler) "Ah ha! You're too late! Rushing here to rescue as many people as you can, but you're too late I've already killed the senior Executives!"
(Barry) "Hey, fuck you! I couldn't give twelve monkey's asses about any of these people! I just wanted a chance to meet you again,"*cracking his knuckles* "and finished what we started!"
(Green Gobbler) "Started? Listen, we can work together! Rules these puny creatures together!"
(Barry) "Shit yo, I was just thinking of making some profit, but your idea is much better."
(Green Gobbler) "So, you've decided to go against me, just as I thought."
(Barry) "What?! No listen dude, I want to work with you."
(Green Gobbler) "You fool, I've given you the chance of a lifetime, and you've thrown it away."
(Barry) "Ugh, what is it with this story?!"
Suddenly some dude jumps down into the building (or what used to be a building) and threw a Cigarette at The Green Gobbler.
(Green Gobbler) "Ahh no, cigarette buts, my only weakness! How did you know?"
(Strange Fag Throwing dude) "What the fu-" The next words were cut out by the Green Gobbler climbing onto his glider and flying off, but Barry was sure the word was fudge.
(Barry) "Who the hell are you?"
(Strange Fag Throwing dude)*Smoking a cigarette* "I am…… (*Mysterious Drum roll*) The Amazing Fag man!" (Dun dun dun)
(Barry) "Wow, I'm the New and improved Spiderman!"
(Fag Man) "Wow, your costume is the best dude, you wear your normal clothes, and just wear a mask and some gloves."
(Barry) "Hey, You're no prize either, you have a paper bag over your head with a mouth hole and a two eye holes, then you have a belt filled with fags, and a backpack, then you have-"
(Fag Man) "-enough!"
(Barry) "How come you showed up anyway, I thought I was the hero of this story?"
(Fag Man) "Well, you suck so much, that the author needed someone good to help you out, so you don't die ya'know, you are the hero after all." *Puffin' his cigarette*
(Barry) "Oh, well we'd better chase after that glider dude, I don't want to lose him,"
(Fag Man) "What ever you say."
Fag Man and Barry jumped out of the 'what used to be a building' sort of building and swung after The Green Gobbler, As Barry swing, the Fag man sprouted out his own web, which made him swing further, amazingly further, although the Fag Man slowed down for Barry.
Suddenly, as Barry came around a corner and swung off his web, his web cartridges stopped shooting, he swung into mid air, and started to fall. Before Barry Landed he looked over at Fag Man to see what he was doing, Fag Man was quickly smoking as much as he could, then he started to glue his cigarette buts to his foot. (?) Barry quickly changed his left hand's web cartridge and webbed over to a nearby lamp post and hit it making a loud thud and then he slid down the lamp post and landed on the floor with a painful *Crack*. Meanwhile, Fag man landed safely since the ash from his cigarette butt covered foot cushioned his landing.
(Passer by looking at Fag Man) "Oh that was so cool."
(Fag Man) "Come on Spidey, get up,"
(Barry) "Ouch."
(Fag Man) "What's the matter? That couldn't have hurt that much."
(Barry) "That's easy for you to say, you didn't sit on yourself when you hit the floor."
(Fag Man) "Ouch man,"
After about an hour of recuperation, Barry was able to walk again, he decided to take the rest of the afternoon off. After he got back to his house, Barry sat down and switched on the TV, and the news flickered on.
(TV presenter) "Today's top story, some crazy loser is flying around in circles above the tower of London, many people are throwing cans at this lunatic but none have managed to knock him out of the air. Since this flying maniac started flying over 5 hours ago, people have already turned it into an amusement for which tourists are paying to see and get pictures of, the Evil local shops have also started selling gifts and souvenirs of this Green menace. Although he looks like a loser in a suit from a bad comic, police say there is nothing to fear… In other news the mayor of London has spontaneously combusted…"
(Barry) "Hey, that looks just like that Green Mother Fu… no, I'll find out where he is in the morning."
Barry went to bed with a glass of painkillers, the next day he would go and see Jim, see if he knew anything about the whereabouts of the Green Gobbler.
Next day, Barry was at Jim's house.
(Barry) "So, do you know anything about this Green Gobbler, like where he might be?"
(Jim) "The dictionary says: Defendant noun 1 someone who resists attack 2 law the accused in a law case."
(Barry) "What?"
(Jim) "Sorry, I've got this terrible illness, it's called 'Copyrightus Theftus'."
(Barry) "What the hell are you talking about?"
(Jim) "Huh? What, oh never mind."
(Barry) "Well? Do you know anything about the Green Gobbler?"
(Jim) *Typing on his PC* "It seems, the Green Gobbler is after you, he's posted a bounty on you, he wants you taken to the tower of London…?"
(Barry) "Right! Gotcha!"
(Jim) "Hey, you know it might be a trap or…." *The Curtains at the window blow in the wind, with the window wide open and no sign of Barry* "…never mind."
Barry landed on top of the Tower of London, with no sign of the Green Gobbler.
(Barry) "Where the fu-"
Suddenly Barry was kicked down and The Green gobbler flew overhead on his glider. Barry stood up, and threw a discarded piece of wood at the Green Gobbler.
(Green Gobbler) "Ha! You're Weapons are useless against me!"
(Barry) "What kind of crack are you sniffing?!"
Then the Green Gobbler jumped off of his glider and landed on top of the Tower of London, then the Gobbler's blades sprung out.
(Green Gobbler) "Haha! My weapons are still better than yours."
Suddenly Barry pulled out a Shotgun and blasted the gobbler to the other side of the tower's roof.
(Barry) "Dodge that bitch."
(Green Gobbler) *Coughing up blood* "Hey! That's cheating,"
(Barry) "What? There's a Superhero/Super Villain Rule book, ha! I'd like to see that."
The Green Gobbler pulls out a rule book from his pocket and hands it to Barry.
(Barry) "Wow, what do you know, it's also against the rules to wear shoes that glow in the dark."
(Green Gobbler) "Don't tell Harry…"
(Barry) "What? You don't want your son to know that you're the Green Gobbler?"
(Green Gobbler) "No," *coughing up more blood* "Don't tell Harry, my roommate, that I stole a twenty from his wallet to pay for this suit."
(Barry) "Fine," *Barry Pulled the shotgun's trigger again and blew off the Green Gobbler's Head* "Shut the hell up."
Suddenly the amazing Fag man glided down onto the Tower's Roof.
(Fag Man) "Yo Man wassup, I didn't miss anything did …… *Looking at the remains of the Green Gobbler* "Oh holy Jesus. I see you've cleaned up here."
(Barry) "Yeah, just another day in the life of someone who'll pawn anything worth 10p or more."
(Fag Man) "Yeah, it's a good life."
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
"Damn That Spiderman! Now that he's swinging around the other side of London, out News channel never gets any ratings. Hmm, but what can I do? I've got it!" *Pressing a button on his desk* "Get me J, I have… a great idea. Muahahaha"