The Doctor
The One armed scientist turned out to be Dr.Conn, the mad scientist experimenting with cells and genes trying to create the perfect regeneration serum. That's how he lost his arm, trying out his experiments. Barry and Dr.Conn got back to Dr.Conn's Laboratory and started talking about this serum.
(Dr.Conn) "You know, I could probably make a serum to 'bulk' up your muscles and spider sense if you wish."
(Barry) "What, why would I need that, can't you make some sort of serum to make me more attractive to the opposite sex?"
(Dr.Conn) "Well, I suppose it is possible, but the moral dilemma-"
(Barry) "Cool! Make me one! Make me one!"
(Dr.Conn) "Well, it's not that simple, it might take a while."
(Barry) "Oh man, I gotta wait a couple of minuets?"
(Dr.Conn) "More like 30 hours actually."
(Barry) "Oh man, well, here's my mobile number, call me when you're done."
(Dr.Conn) "Ok. Later Spiderman."
Barry walked outside of the giant metal door, when suddenly a giant dude in an animal suit came rushing towards him.
(Barry) *While Flipping onto a nearby wall* "Shit! Shit! Shit!"
The dude seemed to be in a Rhino suit, his horn pierced through the giant metal door, making a cool big dent into it. The Rhino suit dude continually bashed the door until there was a big enough hole to walk through.
(Barry) "Oh, that was so cool."
The Rhino then walked out with Dr.Conn on his shoulder.
(Dr.Conn) "For God's sake!? Are you bloody retarded? Hurry up and save me!"
Barry tried webbing the Rhino, but the web just slipped off.
(Barry) "Oh come on! This just isn't fair, and we can't kill every bad guy with a gun."
Rhino climbed into a helicopter which flew off towards a giant skyscraper, Barry followed it. As soon as it landed on the roof, Barry looked for an entrance.
(Rhino) "I've got him," *Dumping Dr.Conn on a desk* "He didn't put up much of a fight though."
(Weird voice) "Rhino, have you always been retarded or did you pick it up from someone?"
(Rhino) "Uh, what was the question?"
(Weird voice) "So, Dr.Conn. This is the way it's going to work: You are going to hand over all of your research, and then you are going to work for me."
(Dr.Conn) "Well, watch this…" *Goes to pick Dr.Conn up*
Suddenly Barry come crashing through the window sending glass everywhere, Barry span threw the air and landed.
(Weird voice) "Well, look at this, I dick weed in a suit."
(Barry) "Oh yeah, and look at you. You're a woman, and damn you fat, not to mention ugly, your kids must get shit loads of 'your momma so fat' jokes."
(Weird voice) "If you must know, I am the Queen-Pin."
(Barry) "Wait, what the fu-?"
(Rhino) "Instead of King Pin dumbass!"
(Barry) "Well, I wouldn't have guessed, I thought you were called 'Big Momma', or maybe 'LARD ARSE'."
(Queen Pin) "Well actually," *Grabs Barry in a bear hug* "Approximately 4% of my body mass is fat, this is what 1,000 pounds of Muscle can do."
*Queen Pin grabbed Barry in a bear hug and started to crush him*
*Machine rattles and beams shoot in the background*
(Barry) "Ow, you fat bitch, let go!"
*Suddenly a weird Lizard man jumped in and Kicked Queen Pin off of Barry*
(Barry) "Where the hell did that come from? And what's it doing wearing Dr.Conn's Lab coat?"
(Rhino) "That Lizard thing must've eaten Dr.Conn."
(Queen Pin) *Dusting herself off* "No you retards, Dr.Conn is that Lizard thing, Dr.Conn can transform into a Lizard being if he buggers around with the right cells."
(Barry) "So wait, what are we supposed to do to get him out of it?"
(Rhino) "Hey, look at this note!" *Starts reading note* "To turn me back… This hand writing is terrible … simply fire the constipation beam at me."
(Barry) "Constipation beam?"
(Rhino) "Concentration beam."
(Queen Pin) "Great, now all that remains is for us to dispose of you."
(Barry) "Lick my balls."
(Queen Pin) "I'd be willing to show leniency if you just give up now."
(Barry) "Lick my balls."
(Rhino) "Bad move, it's two against one."
(Barry) "As far as I'm concerned, that means you're outnumbered."
*Rhino charges at Barry but Barry flips over him and lands safely, while Rhino runs into a wall*
(Barry) "Wow, you're really strong."
(Rhino) "Thanks, I've been working out."
*Suddenly the Queen Pin Jumps for Barry but only lands flat on her face*
(Barry) "Wow, you're so fat, it really does take a train to get on your good side."
*Suddenly the Lizard knocked Barry out of the nearby window, sending him plummeting to his death*
*Wakes up*
(Barry) "Huh? Where the fu-" *Truck honks horn* "Am I? Ok, this all makes sense, I just got thrown out of a building, plummeted to my certain death, and now I just woke up on top of a building to which I've never been to before."
*Looks at self*
(Barry) "Damn, where'd I get this cool suit?"
* Now Barry was wearing a spidey suit, all black and white, it was really cool*
(Barry) "Well, how cares, time to get back to Dr.Conn."
*Barry jumped off from the side and swung downwards, flying straight into the roar of traffic below, hitting the side of a minibus, making the passengers look on in amazement. Barry then jumped off of his Web and landed on the pavement*
(Barry) "Whoa, I just cleared over 50 metres in one swing! It's… It's this suit, it's amazing."
*Barry sat down*
(Barry) "But how do I get it off?" *pulling at suit* "Get off me you damn suit!"
*Suddenly the suit vanished and Barry sat on the Pavement naked*
(Man walking by holding shotgun) "That's it, I'm laying off the Gin for a while."
(Barry) "Dammit!? Where are my clothes?"
*Suddenly his normal clothes came back on*
(Barry) "Wow, this suit, it's, it's amazing."
(TV Presenter on nearby TV in the background) "…Earlier today a NASA Space shuttle crash landed in the River Themes, although no signs of trouble have been made visible since the crash, NASA say there was a Dangerous life from aboard, and the sick jokes are coming in…"
*Barry started swinging, as he felt the breeze through his hair, and on his face, Barry remembered that Dr.Conn had been captured by the Queen Pin, So Barry went to the Queen Pin's Skyscraper*
(Queen Pin) "Well Dr.Conn, it appears you have given into fear at last, please work faster." *Suddenly Barry flips through the broken hole in the window which he came through earlier and lands safely on his feet* "I knew I should've done something about that window."
(Barry) "Ok, the jig is up, 'your gluttony', (Instead of 'your majesty, Queen Pin = Fat, get it? Oh never mind) Give back Dr.Conn, he's done nothing for you."
(Queen Pin) "Precisely, and may I say, your tactics are completely flawed."
*Suddenly Rhino picks up Barry from behind, holding him in a bear lock*
(Barry) "Aw Shit. Well, since you got me, do you mind if you reveal the plot of this chapter already?"
(Queen Pin) "Not at all. Well, I've captured Dr.Conn because he will be making a regeneration serum for me, which I can sell to international terrorist for lots of money."
(Barry) "Oh, thanks, I wasn't sure what was going on but now…"
(Queen Pin) "Now I've revealed all of my plans, you can reveal something."
*Queen Pin tries to un-mask Barry but his new spider suit wouldn't come off*
(Queen Pin) "Dammit! Bastard ass mask!"
*Pulls really hard but only pulls off a piece of the suit, and the hole in his mask is immediately covered by the suit*
(Queen Pin) "What the hell is this shit made from?!"
*Barry suddenly kicks Rhino in the groin*
(Rhino) "Ugh… Now that was uncalled for."
(Barry) "Sorry Rhino"
Queen Pin then jumped for Barry but once again missed and fell straight into a computer monitor, then Barry webbed he web.
(Barry) "Wow, my webbing come out by itself, I don't need web shooters anymore! Yes!" (*thinking* "now we can make even more money from those photos")
(Queen Pin) "You'll never win!" *Hits a button*
*Barry webs up Queen Pin's mouth*
Suddenly, Dr.Conn came running in.
(Dr.Conn) "Ok, I think it's safe to go. Come on! What are you waiting for?"
(Barry) "Can't we just use the window?"
(Dr.Conn) "Well actually…" *Suddenly Pulls out a gun, then shoots Barry who falls over*
(Barry) "What the fu-" *Dr.Conn laughs* "-are you doing?"
Suddenly Dr.Conn transforms into a grey faced bald guy, wearing a purple spandex costume and pansy yellow booties.
(Pansy Yellow booties dude) "Hahaha! I am… *Drum roll* The Cha-meleon!"
(Barry) "Don't you mean Chameleon?"
(Cha-meleon) "No, CHA-meleon, as in Cha, Ch! CH!"
(Barry) "Oh, well I thought you were the Stupid Pansy yellow bootie… no, no, I've lost this joke."
(Cha-meleon) "Muahahaha! You've lost!"
(Barry) "Don't be so sure…"
*suddenly Barry's suit grows tentacles and grabs Cha-meleon and throw him into the wall*
(Cha-meleon) "Oh damn. I really thought you were buggered."
(Barry) "Muahahaha!"
*Suddenly Queen-Pin bursts out of her web and Thumps Barry in the face sending him stumbling back into the wall*
(Queen-Pin) "There is no point in continuing this battle. I don't see why we can't work together."
(Barry) "Hmpf. Well, I really don't want to mess up my new suit so… ok!"
(Queen Pin) "Ok, steal the crown Jewels for us and we'll let Dr.Conn go."
(The Real Dr.Conn in the back ground) "What? Only a retard would go along with that, the crown jewels are much harder to steal than it is the defeat Queen Pin, and my invention could heal millions, while stealing the crown jewels is illegal, and-"
(Barry) "Ok, I'll do it."
*Queen Pin and Barry Shake hands*
(The Real Dr.Conn in the back ground) "Un-believable."
The One armed scientist turned out to be Dr.Conn, the mad scientist experimenting with cells and genes trying to create the perfect regeneration serum. That's how he lost his arm, trying out his experiments. Barry and Dr.Conn got back to Dr.Conn's Laboratory and started talking about this serum.
(Dr.Conn) "You know, I could probably make a serum to 'bulk' up your muscles and spider sense if you wish."
(Barry) "What, why would I need that, can't you make some sort of serum to make me more attractive to the opposite sex?"
(Dr.Conn) "Well, I suppose it is possible, but the moral dilemma-"
(Barry) "Cool! Make me one! Make me one!"
(Dr.Conn) "Well, it's not that simple, it might take a while."
(Barry) "Oh man, I gotta wait a couple of minuets?"
(Dr.Conn) "More like 30 hours actually."
(Barry) "Oh man, well, here's my mobile number, call me when you're done."
(Dr.Conn) "Ok. Later Spiderman."
Barry walked outside of the giant metal door, when suddenly a giant dude in an animal suit came rushing towards him.
(Barry) *While Flipping onto a nearby wall* "Shit! Shit! Shit!"
The dude seemed to be in a Rhino suit, his horn pierced through the giant metal door, making a cool big dent into it. The Rhino suit dude continually bashed the door until there was a big enough hole to walk through.
(Barry) "Oh, that was so cool."
The Rhino then walked out with Dr.Conn on his shoulder.
(Dr.Conn) "For God's sake!? Are you bloody retarded? Hurry up and save me!"
Barry tried webbing the Rhino, but the web just slipped off.
(Barry) "Oh come on! This just isn't fair, and we can't kill every bad guy with a gun."
Rhino climbed into a helicopter which flew off towards a giant skyscraper, Barry followed it. As soon as it landed on the roof, Barry looked for an entrance.
(Rhino) "I've got him," *Dumping Dr.Conn on a desk* "He didn't put up much of a fight though."
(Weird voice) "Rhino, have you always been retarded or did you pick it up from someone?"
(Rhino) "Uh, what was the question?"
(Weird voice) "So, Dr.Conn. This is the way it's going to work: You are going to hand over all of your research, and then you are going to work for me."
(Dr.Conn) "Well, watch this…" *Goes to pick Dr.Conn up*
Suddenly Barry come crashing through the window sending glass everywhere, Barry span threw the air and landed.
(Weird voice) "Well, look at this, I dick weed in a suit."
(Barry) "Oh yeah, and look at you. You're a woman, and damn you fat, not to mention ugly, your kids must get shit loads of 'your momma so fat' jokes."
(Weird voice) "If you must know, I am the Queen-Pin."
(Barry) "Wait, what the fu-?"
(Rhino) "Instead of King Pin dumbass!"
(Barry) "Well, I wouldn't have guessed, I thought you were called 'Big Momma', or maybe 'LARD ARSE'."
(Queen Pin) "Well actually," *Grabs Barry in a bear hug* "Approximately 4% of my body mass is fat, this is what 1,000 pounds of Muscle can do."
*Queen Pin grabbed Barry in a bear hug and started to crush him*
*Machine rattles and beams shoot in the background*
(Barry) "Ow, you fat bitch, let go!"
*Suddenly a weird Lizard man jumped in and Kicked Queen Pin off of Barry*
(Barry) "Where the hell did that come from? And what's it doing wearing Dr.Conn's Lab coat?"
(Rhino) "That Lizard thing must've eaten Dr.Conn."
(Queen Pin) *Dusting herself off* "No you retards, Dr.Conn is that Lizard thing, Dr.Conn can transform into a Lizard being if he buggers around with the right cells."
(Barry) "So wait, what are we supposed to do to get him out of it?"
(Rhino) "Hey, look at this note!" *Starts reading note* "To turn me back… This hand writing is terrible … simply fire the constipation beam at me."
(Barry) "Constipation beam?"
(Rhino) "Concentration beam."
(Queen Pin) "Great, now all that remains is for us to dispose of you."
(Barry) "Lick my balls."
(Queen Pin) "I'd be willing to show leniency if you just give up now."
(Barry) "Lick my balls."
(Rhino) "Bad move, it's two against one."
(Barry) "As far as I'm concerned, that means you're outnumbered."
*Rhino charges at Barry but Barry flips over him and lands safely, while Rhino runs into a wall*
(Barry) "Wow, you're really strong."
(Rhino) "Thanks, I've been working out."
*Suddenly the Queen Pin Jumps for Barry but only lands flat on her face*
(Barry) "Wow, you're so fat, it really does take a train to get on your good side."
*Suddenly the Lizard knocked Barry out of the nearby window, sending him plummeting to his death*
*Wakes up*
(Barry) "Huh? Where the fu-" *Truck honks horn* "Am I? Ok, this all makes sense, I just got thrown out of a building, plummeted to my certain death, and now I just woke up on top of a building to which I've never been to before."
*Looks at self*
(Barry) "Damn, where'd I get this cool suit?"
* Now Barry was wearing a spidey suit, all black and white, it was really cool*
(Barry) "Well, how cares, time to get back to Dr.Conn."
*Barry jumped off from the side and swung downwards, flying straight into the roar of traffic below, hitting the side of a minibus, making the passengers look on in amazement. Barry then jumped off of his Web and landed on the pavement*
(Barry) "Whoa, I just cleared over 50 metres in one swing! It's… It's this suit, it's amazing."
*Barry sat down*
(Barry) "But how do I get it off?" *pulling at suit* "Get off me you damn suit!"
*Suddenly the suit vanished and Barry sat on the Pavement naked*
(Man walking by holding shotgun) "That's it, I'm laying off the Gin for a while."
(Barry) "Dammit!? Where are my clothes?"
*Suddenly his normal clothes came back on*
(Barry) "Wow, this suit, it's, it's amazing."
(TV Presenter on nearby TV in the background) "…Earlier today a NASA Space shuttle crash landed in the River Themes, although no signs of trouble have been made visible since the crash, NASA say there was a Dangerous life from aboard, and the sick jokes are coming in…"
*Barry started swinging, as he felt the breeze through his hair, and on his face, Barry remembered that Dr.Conn had been captured by the Queen Pin, So Barry went to the Queen Pin's Skyscraper*
(Queen Pin) "Well Dr.Conn, it appears you have given into fear at last, please work faster." *Suddenly Barry flips through the broken hole in the window which he came through earlier and lands safely on his feet* "I knew I should've done something about that window."
(Barry) "Ok, the jig is up, 'your gluttony', (Instead of 'your majesty, Queen Pin = Fat, get it? Oh never mind) Give back Dr.Conn, he's done nothing for you."
(Queen Pin) "Precisely, and may I say, your tactics are completely flawed."
*Suddenly Rhino picks up Barry from behind, holding him in a bear lock*
(Barry) "Aw Shit. Well, since you got me, do you mind if you reveal the plot of this chapter already?"
(Queen Pin) "Not at all. Well, I've captured Dr.Conn because he will be making a regeneration serum for me, which I can sell to international terrorist for lots of money."
(Barry) "Oh, thanks, I wasn't sure what was going on but now…"
(Queen Pin) "Now I've revealed all of my plans, you can reveal something."
*Queen Pin tries to un-mask Barry but his new spider suit wouldn't come off*
(Queen Pin) "Dammit! Bastard ass mask!"
*Pulls really hard but only pulls off a piece of the suit, and the hole in his mask is immediately covered by the suit*
(Queen Pin) "What the hell is this shit made from?!"
*Barry suddenly kicks Rhino in the groin*
(Rhino) "Ugh… Now that was uncalled for."
(Barry) "Sorry Rhino"
Queen Pin then jumped for Barry but once again missed and fell straight into a computer monitor, then Barry webbed he web.
(Barry) "Wow, my webbing come out by itself, I don't need web shooters anymore! Yes!" (*thinking* "now we can make even more money from those photos")
(Queen Pin) "You'll never win!" *Hits a button*
*Barry webs up Queen Pin's mouth*
Suddenly, Dr.Conn came running in.
(Dr.Conn) "Ok, I think it's safe to go. Come on! What are you waiting for?"
(Barry) "Can't we just use the window?"
(Dr.Conn) "Well actually…" *Suddenly Pulls out a gun, then shoots Barry who falls over*
(Barry) "What the fu-" *Dr.Conn laughs* "-are you doing?"
Suddenly Dr.Conn transforms into a grey faced bald guy, wearing a purple spandex costume and pansy yellow booties.
(Pansy Yellow booties dude) "Hahaha! I am… *Drum roll* The Cha-meleon!"
(Barry) "Don't you mean Chameleon?"
(Cha-meleon) "No, CHA-meleon, as in Cha, Ch! CH!"
(Barry) "Oh, well I thought you were the Stupid Pansy yellow bootie… no, no, I've lost this joke."
(Cha-meleon) "Muahahaha! You've lost!"
(Barry) "Don't be so sure…"
*suddenly Barry's suit grows tentacles and grabs Cha-meleon and throw him into the wall*
(Cha-meleon) "Oh damn. I really thought you were buggered."
(Barry) "Muahahaha!"
*Suddenly Queen-Pin bursts out of her web and Thumps Barry in the face sending him stumbling back into the wall*
(Queen-Pin) "There is no point in continuing this battle. I don't see why we can't work together."
(Barry) "Hmpf. Well, I really don't want to mess up my new suit so… ok!"
(Queen Pin) "Ok, steal the crown Jewels for us and we'll let Dr.Conn go."
(The Real Dr.Conn in the back ground) "What? Only a retard would go along with that, the crown jewels are much harder to steal than it is the defeat Queen Pin, and my invention could heal millions, while stealing the crown jewels is illegal, and-"
(Barry) "Ok, I'll do it."
*Queen Pin and Barry Shake hands*
(The Real Dr.Conn in the back ground) "Un-believable."