Sins of the Father
Chapter Twenty-Four

Faith leaned back in the chair with a cocky smile. Angel sat down opposite her and folded his arms.

"Shouldn't you be upstairs with Queen C?" she asked after a while, trying to goad him into something other than the conversation she knew he wanted. "Now Willow and Tara have saved your soul, shouldn't you be making up for lost time?"

"She said she'll wait," he answered with a slight smile. "So, what's going on?"

"Well, our last case was an Anglor demon and that's dead and there aren't any new cases, so not much," she retorted.

"You know what I mean," he said carefully. "You and Wes slept together."

She flinched and her smirk faltered. But she set it back in place before she answered.

"That smelling thing's icky," she commented coolly.

"Faith," Angel warned. "Talk to me. You said you figured I'd notice sooner or later, so you knew this was coming. You've been avoiding him since I got back, if you're staying here, that can't go on."

"It's been working fine so far!" she protested.

"Really?" Angel raised his eyebrows. "So, I just imagined the tension you could cut with a knife?"

"No, but that was because of you," Faith snapped. Angel inhaled sharply and she glanced at him before sighing. "Sorry."

"Forget it. But seriously, Faith, talk to me about this. There's obviously more to this."

"It was sex. We got groiny, it got over. End of."

"You never avoided Xander after sleeping with him," Angel pointed out. "What's the difference?"

"I didn't torture Xander," Faith answered quietly.

"But Wes forgave you for that," Angel told her in a similarly quiet voice.

"Really? Huh," she snorted in disbelief.

"He has feelings for you," Angel stated. "I was there, remember?"

"Yeah. But he didn't mean it," Faith shrugged. "He was - how did he put it? Oh, yeah - appealing to Angelus's better nature, he forgot he doesn't have one. That's all it was," there was a bitter edge to her voice that Angel noted.

"Sounded like more to me," Angel said softly.

"But guess what? Him saying he didn't love me sounded like the truth."

"Wes hides his feelings pretty well. It's what he does."

"Look, Angel, why are you doing this?" there was a bite of impatience in her voice that Angel knew was because he was going where she didn't want anyone to go. "We had sex and that's it. It's over, it's finished. We're colleagues, that's all. Go screw the cheerleader," there was a flash of the old Faith in that comment and he pursed his lips in annoyance.

She stood up and started to leave, but Angel grabbed her hand in a flash of speed, his grip was bone-crushing. She hissed, dragging her hand from his and slamming her fists into his shoulders, pinning him to his chair.

"Don't," she gritted. "Don't go there. I saw enough of that. Now, listen to me, Angel. I'm gonna say it one more time. Leave. This. Alone."

"No," he pushed her hands off him and stood up, glaring at her as he took hold of her upper arms. "You got out, Faith, this is your second chance. That wasn't down to me, that was Wesley. You owe him honesty for that. You owe yourself honesty."

"And what if you're wrong?" Faith asked quietly, relaxing in his grip, her head dropping forward a little. "What if he was telling the truth about it just being to get through to you? Then what? I'll tell you what, I've made a fool of myself, things get more awkward and…."

"And?" Angel prompted.

"And I've got hurt by the one guy I actually had…" she searched for the correct word. "Feelings for… in that way. No thanks."

"When did this happen?" Angel asked, letting go of her, watching her sit down. "When did you get feelings for him?"

"I think… before we slept together," she chuckled and grinned. "I thought he was kinda hot now, y'know?" Angel declined to answer that and she continued. "And I felt bad for him over losing Char and that. And I felt I owed him something, so I tried to cheer him up a bit. And he looked at me like he didn't hate me, I guess I liked that. Then after we slept together, he kissed me goodbye and it felt… nice. Like that's the way it should be. I guess that feeling didn't go away. Then when he said he was falling in love with me… I didn't exactly believe it, but while he was with Char, I had a lot of time to think. I got to thinking and I liked the idea. Can you believe that? The idea of a family actually didn't make me want to heave."

"I think I can believe that," Angel stated. "I've seen you with Lottie. You're good with her."

"She's cool," Faith shrugged. "I can't believe I actually said that. I'm turning into Auntie Faith."

"When did you fall in love with him?" Angel asked, attempting to catch her off guard.

"Hey!" Faith protested. "I never said that!"

"You didn't have to. So? When?"

"When he said he didn't love me," she answered in a low voice. "Maybe before, but that's when I realised 'cause…"

"If you didn't, it wouldn't have hurt like that?" Angel finished for her. "It wouldn't make you feel sick? Like you couldn't breathe?"

"Pretty much. Do you get it now then? Do you get why I can't tell him?"

"You've gotta take a chance, Faith," Angel told her. "Do you really want to live with the possibility that he might feel the same and you did nothing? Ok, how about this? You tell him and if he rejects you, you can hit me."

"You're taking a lot -"

"On faith?" Angel finished with a smile. "I know. But I don't think it's much of a risk. Trust me, Faith, he does care about you."

"Maybe that's what I'm afraid of," she admitted with a ghost of a rueful smile.

Lottie wasn't stupid. She was observant, a trait she had picked up from both her mother and her father. She saw the way he looked at Faith. She silently noted the lingering glances, the slight shake of his head as he returned his attention to whatever was in front of him.

She didn't know much about love. She had never heard the Buffy and Angel love story. The closest she got to seeing what love was, was when she saw Cinderella. But she was shrewd enough to decide that it was no where near real life. But that might have been down to the fact that she hated that movie.

But she had watched Fred and Gunn and Angel and Cordy. She had come to the conclusion that the looks her father cast Faith were identical to the ones Gunn gave Fred and Angel gave Cordy. And she knew that Gunn loved Fred and Angel loved Cordy. So that could only mean one thing.

Then she had turned her attention to Faith. She liked Faith, she liked how she stood up for herself and Faith seemed to like her. She called her Char for some reason, but Lottie didn't mind. She liked hearing about the latest demon from Faith, with side comments by Connor. But when she watched Faith, she couldn't see anything like she saw in her father. But, she had noted Faith's tendency to avoid Wes and be totally professional when she had to talk to him. She didn't understand that, the rest of the group talked like friends and hung out together between cases. She wasn't sure what Faith's avoidance meant. But she was positive about her father's feelings for Faith.

So now she spent her time wondering why adults were so stupid and couldn't just talk to each other.

Faith fidgeted outside Wes's door. She tugged on her fingers as she wondered if he was busy, in which case she could really come back later. She had waited this long, what was another -

"Faith," Angel's voice made her jump and she turned to him with a nervous smile. "Get it the hell over with."

"It's not that simple," she answered. "I have a speech, y'know! I've got to make sure I remember it. That takes time."

"I don't think you need to say anything more than 'I love you'."

"You wouldn't," she retorted. "Because that would take all that stupid mystery out."

Angel resisted the urge to roll his eyes and took advantage of Faith's nerves to push Wes's door open and push her inside, slamming the door shut behind her.

"Faith?" Wes raised an eyebrow at her and she wondered why that made her mouth go suddenly dry. "Can I help you?"

"Er… no," she reached behind her for the door handle. But Angel had thought of that and had a tight grip on it from the other side.

"Are you sure?" he asked, he still had that damnable eyebrow arched at her.

"I just…" she tailed off, let go of the handle and approached the table. "There's something I need to say to you, 'cause we… um, we can't go on avoiding each other."

"Agreed," he nodded, the eyebrow finally falling back beside the other one. She wanted to sign in relief. "What was it you wanted to say?"

"Look," she started; facing him Slayer-style, strong and able to handle anything, though her words came out with raw honesty. The words tumbled out before she could process them, decide whether she actually wanted to say that. "The thing is, I don't think I can do this. I have to be here if my parole's gonna work out, but I don't know that I can do it with you right there. Usually," she started to pace. "It's not a problem 'cause, usually, it's just sex.

"But this time… This time it did matter. Well, it did to me. And I don't know why and I wish it didn't matter 'cause then it wouldn't hurt. I guess what I'm trying to say is…" she took a deep breath and met his eyes. "I think I love you," she chuckled slightly. "I'm not exactly sure 'cause of the whole never actually been in love before thing. But it feels like… I don't know. I just know it hurts 'cause I'm not with you. And it shouldn't, " her voice hardened, became almost angry, though the anger was directed at herself for allowing herself to weaken so much. "'Cause I don't do love and I really don't do relationships.

"But there you go. So, if I can change enough to want this, a real relationship, I don't see that a family would be so bad. I like Char, she's a cool kid and I get that she's always gonna have to come first with you. So, what I'm saying is - and I know I don't deserve a chance, not after what I did to you, but I want to… What I'm trying to say is… Can't we give happy families a go?"

Wes stared at her in wide-eyed surprise. Something leapt inside of him and his first instinct was to get up and kiss her, right there and then. Because the past didn't matter anymore. The mistakes he had made, the mistakes she had made, the things they did to each other, none of it mattered because… Because for some reason, he had fallen in love with her. This new Faith, the one struggling for redemption, who had help save his little girl, who had been there for him and someone who understood bad family situations better than anyone, this was the Faith he fell in love with.

Instead of going with his instincts, he tilted his head to the side and looked down at Lottie, who had been sitting on the floor, leaning against the desk drawers doing her homework out of sight.

"What do you think?" he asked.

Lottie stood up and leaned on her desk. Faith was stunned. Bad, bad move. Privacy. I was going for privacy… Oh, crap.

Faith backed away to the door, the very idea that maybe - just maybe - Wes might feel the same vanished and she wondered how she could have been so stupid. She had tortured him for God's sake! And she thought he could love her? Wasn't it enough that he had offered her friendship? No, she had to ask for more, even when she didn't deserve it. She turned to the door, Angel had left them to it and she had opened it halfway when Lottie's voice made her freeze.

"I think my Dad loves you."

Faith turned and looked at the earnest face of the seven-year-old. She looked at Wes, who was obviously unprepared for Lottie's revelation and was blushing slightly, averting his eyes.

He sighed and gazed moodily down at his daughter. Well, now I know she certainly knows how to put her foot in it.

Lottie ducked out of sight and picked up her homework.

"I need Fred's help," she said. "It's Math."

She left the room, the silence heavy between Faith and Wesley.

"Was she… Er, was she right?" Faith asked, attempting to make it sound like an offhand comment of no real interest to her. But her prior speech and the fact she failed miserably in her attempt of nonchalance, made it sound hopeful.

"You don't have to know Lottie very long to figure out she's very perceptive and picks up on most things," he replied, looking up at her. "So… yes. She was right."

"Oh," Faith nodded and affected a casual stance that resulted in uncomfortable fidgeting. "What do we do now th-?"

His mouth on hers cut off her question and she decided it was the best answer.

Anyway, she had filled the cheesy speech quota for the next ten years.