Okay, it's not like I haven't had diaries before.  Calm down, Noli.  Breathe—in and out, and in and out.  I've had diaries before; I'm good at keeping a diary, so, you ask, what's wrong with this one?  What's wrong with this one?  I'll tell you—it's open for the entire royal court to read—and I am being forced to write in it.  It's my diary --a.k.a. a sick form of court amusement.  What am I gonna do??  I've already tried asking nicely, but my mother told me that if I didn't write my deepest secrets in here, both she and the curse that she put on this book will destroy the little world I've made for myself in this place.  So, I have to put this book outside of the court quarters on display on the podium—every single morning at 5:30—"and do it QUIETLY, my dear—we don't want to wake up the whole castle, do we?" says my mother.  Well, I must go.  If I must write in this tiny little book, I can at least write in it in a pleasant location—and as far as I know, the castle hasn't EVER been a pleasant location.  I'll tell you about the place when I get there—goodbye for now!