A/N: Please R&R!
"Mmm.Mmm.Oh God! Simply delicious." Anamaria moaned as Jack (Sorry, CAPTAIN) Jack Sparrow massaged the roof of her mouth with his devilish tongue.
"Love," Jack stopped for a moment to speak, "do you know what would make this a lot more enjoyable?"
"More? Oh, do tell!"
"If you would simply shut up for five seconds! I mean, I like hearing how much I pleasure you, but enough is enough, love! Savvy?"
It took a few minutes for the information to digest. Anamaria pulled away from Jack in annoyance.
"Well, I can see this romance has gone on far enough. I'm going now.," Anamaria paused, trying to think of a parting shot. "And I still expect my boat, you scumbag!"
"What are you babbling on about, love? You're not going anywhere- the Black Pearl set sail hours ago! Hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but you're stuck with me for the next six months."
Anamaria gave him a look that suggested she really had no idea whatsoever what he was going on about.
".savvy?"
"Oh for God's sake, stick your bloody 'savvy' up your goddamn ass!"
And with that, she slapped Capt. Sparrow's face with all her might, leaving a pink handprint on his now-painful cheek.
Anamaria stalked out of the Captain's room, presumably to Mr. Gibbs, the second mate, to talk about sleeping arrangements.
"I think I may have deserved that," Jack slowly admitted to himself, "I should've known better'n to bring a silly woman on board. Arr, to hell with 'em!"
Jack clambered out of his room to celebrate his new anti-woman approach with some rum, when he was distracted by the lookout.
"Land-ho! Land-ho! Port Royale in sight- about five miles to the north!" Jack wondered for a minute how they could've gotten so far north with a compass that failed to point in that direction, but no matter- bring on the rum!
"Now, mate," Jack said to Gibbs, who had already finished speaking with Anamaria, "I have this new idea. it's quite. revolutionary! Ah, that's the word. Now the idea is fairly simple, it is this: just get rid of all the women, mate!"
"Get.rid of all the. women?" Gibbs repeated, at this point very confused.
"Yes, you are catching on quite well! The purpose. well, what exactly is a woman's purpose, eh?"
"Well, to, um." Gibbs' voice lowered considerably, "to spoon with, I suppose."
"Exactly! And the purpose of that would be more people, eh? We don't even need more people in the world! There are too many people as it is, we don't need more. So, really, we are helping to decrease the population, which is a good thing! Savvy?"
"Well, I-I suppose." Gibbs replied, clearly uncomfortable on the subject.
"Then it's settled, mate!" Jack poured two glasses of rum. "To hell with 'em!"
The two pirates clinked glasses while Anamaria watched glaringly behind a keg of rum.
"Land-ho! Land-ho!" The lookout called again. They were docking in the Port Royale harbor.
"Well, get a move on, ya stupid bunch 'a scallywags! Don't just stand there! Lower the anchor!" Jack shouted at his crew, then turned back to Gibbs. "Now mate, I am going to go into Port Royale and not even glance at a single woman, save for Elizabeth, who is engaged."
Gibbs snickered. "Let's see how you do first, eh?"
Jack and Gibbs climbed onto the dock and signed in as "Mr. Ugly Norrington," and "Mr. Harry Ape," much to their childish humor's whimsy. The black flags on the ship had been taken down earlier, so no one would suspect their identities.
"Good day to you, Mr. Norrington and-," the soldier stopped as he read the second name, "and, er, Mr. Ape."
The two men nodded and went on their way, taking the man's moneybag with them. Once on the town's cobblestone streets, Jack spotted a young maiden selling fruit in the market.
"Yummy," Jack licked his lips, "I'd like to eat her cherry."
As Jack started to approach her, Gibbs called out after him.
"What about your idea? The revolution?"
"Arr," Jack growled in reply, "to hell with it!"
***
"There are two gentlemen at the door for you, Mrs. Norrington."
"Thank-you Cecilia, I'll be right along. And please- please call me Elizabeth."
The young maid curtseyed and stammered- "Yes- yes, of course. I-I- I'll try to remember next time."
Elizabeth nodded and glided down the stairs to greet her visitors. She opened the large oak door to discover two pirates before her. Elizabeth was so shocked to see them, she simply stood there until they noticed her.
"I though you were off with that fruit seller." the bearded pirate said to the other.
"Well, I guess you could say she was selling, but unable to give me the merchandise. That's how all the women are here, all talk and no. Ah, Elizabeth, love!"
Elizabeth woke up from her shocked state. "Jack! Mr. Gibbs! Hurry- come in here before someone notices who you are."
Elizabeth motioned them into the house and brought them onto the porch. She sent Cecilia for some tea and invited them to sit down. As soon as they did so, she was a-rush with words.
"Thank heavens! I thought I would never see any one of you ever again! I'm so happy I could, -I could - well, never mind. It's been so long. Do you realize how long it's been?! I mean, no letters, no visits, no nothing! I'm Norrington's bloody fiancée for God's sake! Well, never mind, we shall get this all sorted out. where's Will?
Captain Jack Sparrow glanced at his first mate, then looked Elizabeth straight in the eye. He spoke with such utter seriousness; it was hard to believe that the one speaking was the legendary Jack Sparrow.
"Actually. that was what we came to talk to you about."
"Mmm.Mmm.Oh God! Simply delicious." Anamaria moaned as Jack (Sorry, CAPTAIN) Jack Sparrow massaged the roof of her mouth with his devilish tongue.
"Love," Jack stopped for a moment to speak, "do you know what would make this a lot more enjoyable?"
"More? Oh, do tell!"
"If you would simply shut up for five seconds! I mean, I like hearing how much I pleasure you, but enough is enough, love! Savvy?"
It took a few minutes for the information to digest. Anamaria pulled away from Jack in annoyance.
"Well, I can see this romance has gone on far enough. I'm going now.," Anamaria paused, trying to think of a parting shot. "And I still expect my boat, you scumbag!"
"What are you babbling on about, love? You're not going anywhere- the Black Pearl set sail hours ago! Hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but you're stuck with me for the next six months."
Anamaria gave him a look that suggested she really had no idea whatsoever what he was going on about.
".savvy?"
"Oh for God's sake, stick your bloody 'savvy' up your goddamn ass!"
And with that, she slapped Capt. Sparrow's face with all her might, leaving a pink handprint on his now-painful cheek.
Anamaria stalked out of the Captain's room, presumably to Mr. Gibbs, the second mate, to talk about sleeping arrangements.
"I think I may have deserved that," Jack slowly admitted to himself, "I should've known better'n to bring a silly woman on board. Arr, to hell with 'em!"
Jack clambered out of his room to celebrate his new anti-woman approach with some rum, when he was distracted by the lookout.
"Land-ho! Land-ho! Port Royale in sight- about five miles to the north!" Jack wondered for a minute how they could've gotten so far north with a compass that failed to point in that direction, but no matter- bring on the rum!
"Now, mate," Jack said to Gibbs, who had already finished speaking with Anamaria, "I have this new idea. it's quite. revolutionary! Ah, that's the word. Now the idea is fairly simple, it is this: just get rid of all the women, mate!"
"Get.rid of all the. women?" Gibbs repeated, at this point very confused.
"Yes, you are catching on quite well! The purpose. well, what exactly is a woman's purpose, eh?"
"Well, to, um." Gibbs' voice lowered considerably, "to spoon with, I suppose."
"Exactly! And the purpose of that would be more people, eh? We don't even need more people in the world! There are too many people as it is, we don't need more. So, really, we are helping to decrease the population, which is a good thing! Savvy?"
"Well, I-I suppose." Gibbs replied, clearly uncomfortable on the subject.
"Then it's settled, mate!" Jack poured two glasses of rum. "To hell with 'em!"
The two pirates clinked glasses while Anamaria watched glaringly behind a keg of rum.
"Land-ho! Land-ho!" The lookout called again. They were docking in the Port Royale harbor.
"Well, get a move on, ya stupid bunch 'a scallywags! Don't just stand there! Lower the anchor!" Jack shouted at his crew, then turned back to Gibbs. "Now mate, I am going to go into Port Royale and not even glance at a single woman, save for Elizabeth, who is engaged."
Gibbs snickered. "Let's see how you do first, eh?"
Jack and Gibbs climbed onto the dock and signed in as "Mr. Ugly Norrington," and "Mr. Harry Ape," much to their childish humor's whimsy. The black flags on the ship had been taken down earlier, so no one would suspect their identities.
"Good day to you, Mr. Norrington and-," the soldier stopped as he read the second name, "and, er, Mr. Ape."
The two men nodded and went on their way, taking the man's moneybag with them. Once on the town's cobblestone streets, Jack spotted a young maiden selling fruit in the market.
"Yummy," Jack licked his lips, "I'd like to eat her cherry."
As Jack started to approach her, Gibbs called out after him.
"What about your idea? The revolution?"
"Arr," Jack growled in reply, "to hell with it!"
***
"There are two gentlemen at the door for you, Mrs. Norrington."
"Thank-you Cecilia, I'll be right along. And please- please call me Elizabeth."
The young maid curtseyed and stammered- "Yes- yes, of course. I-I- I'll try to remember next time."
Elizabeth nodded and glided down the stairs to greet her visitors. She opened the large oak door to discover two pirates before her. Elizabeth was so shocked to see them, she simply stood there until they noticed her.
"I though you were off with that fruit seller." the bearded pirate said to the other.
"Well, I guess you could say she was selling, but unable to give me the merchandise. That's how all the women are here, all talk and no. Ah, Elizabeth, love!"
Elizabeth woke up from her shocked state. "Jack! Mr. Gibbs! Hurry- come in here before someone notices who you are."
Elizabeth motioned them into the house and brought them onto the porch. She sent Cecilia for some tea and invited them to sit down. As soon as they did so, she was a-rush with words.
"Thank heavens! I thought I would never see any one of you ever again! I'm so happy I could, -I could - well, never mind. It's been so long. Do you realize how long it's been?! I mean, no letters, no visits, no nothing! I'm Norrington's bloody fiancée for God's sake! Well, never mind, we shall get this all sorted out. where's Will?
Captain Jack Sparrow glanced at his first mate, then looked Elizabeth straight in the eye. He spoke with such utter seriousness; it was hard to believe that the one speaking was the legendary Jack Sparrow.
"Actually. that was what we came to talk to you about."