Author's Note: Sorry that I have to sacrifice my unpredictability in this
chapter and be utterly predictable . . . Trust me though, this is a
necessary plot point (Just trust me! Have I done any of you wrong so far?)
Author's Note II: Dedicated to Bosch -- For reminding my forgetful spirit to "Britishize!" *Smiles sheepishly*
Chapter Four -- In the Shadows
1978
"Are you seeing someone else?" was the first question James asked upon arriving to the Astronomy Tower. "Because I'll understand if you just want me to leave you alone. A Gryffindor really shouldn't be seeing a Slytherin anyway and my friends really wouldn't approve and if you just want me to go . . ."
"Just be quiet," Severus groaned, leaning against the wall. "I'm not seeing anyone else and you're not going to leave because I want you to stay."
"Good," James smiled. "Because I wouldn't have gone anyway."
"I know you wouldn't have, you insolent thing," Severus said, pulling James against him, threading his arms around his waist. "James," he murmured, nuzzling the unruly black hair. "James, would you ever consider staying with me after school ends?"
It took James a while to understand what Severus was asking but, when it finally dawned on him, he pulled away slightly from Severus, taken aback.
"I . . . You're asking me to date you?" James asked quizzically. "Like formally date you? As in . . . You and me, walking around Hogsmeade, holding hands and buying joint Christmas cards?"
"Not the joint Christmas cards," Severus laughed, "But we could buy a small place just outside of town and you could go and be a professional Quidditch player or whatever it is you want to do and I could . . . I don't know. It was probably a foolish idea anyway."
"Yeah," James muttered, preoccupied. "Probably was."
"So . . . Do you want to go back to your chambers or are we going to continue with this rendezvous?"
"I don't think so," James said suddenly. "I'm not really in the mood tonight."
"Oh," Severus said, startled. "Is that my fault?"
"Yes," James sighed. "I suppose it is. I just need some time to think about where this whole thing is going."
"Worried about your friends?" Severus snapped. "Worried that they won't . . . approve of our little liaison?"
"A little," James admitted.
"Can't you think for yourself for once?" Severus asked, exasperated.
"Why would you want me to stay with you anyway?" James huffed, sitting down on a nearby stool. "According to you, I'm an insufferable brat who's never been good at anything except mounting a broomstick, take that last phrase however you want to. I can't even remember the last time we had a conversation without bickering. I love you and you know that I do but I'm not so sure I want to spend a good portion of my life with you."
"That sounds like love," Severus muttered in his usual cynical tone.
"Honestly Severus," James sighed. "Why would you want me?"
"Because I don't like being alone," Severus said tersely.
"You wouldn't be alone Sev," James said, somewhat coddling the Slytherin. "You have friends, don't you?"
"Just consider the option, James. Please?"
"Of course Sev," James smiled. "I always consider my options."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------
1996
"Oh my god," Harry said under his breath. "Oh my god, that is the singular most disgusting thing I have ever heard in my life! Do you actually expect me to believe that my dad was sleeping with Professor Snape? That's just . . . wrong!"
"Choose to believe it . . . or don't," Tom said casually, leaning against the head of the bed. "It's of no consequence to me. I'm just repeating the story."
"But my dad hated Professor Snape! They couldn't stand each other!"
"Love knows no bounds," Tom sighed with a bit of nostalgia.
"So what made my dad choose Lily over Severus?" Harry asked and then he rethought the question. "Actually, forget that I asked that. Any person with half a mind would choose my mom over Snape."
"Your dad almost said yes," Tom reflected. "And that's where the story starts getting complicated."
"Isn't it all complicated enough already?"
"You're the one who asked to hear about this," Tom said, chastising the young Gryffindor.
"I was angry with you," Harry said, crossing his arms over his chest. "I was frustrated and angry with you. I didn't want my family to go from being a clean-cut 'Home and Country' model to being something off of 'Eastenders,' okay?"
"I'm just telling you what happened," Tom sniffed. "Nothing more and nothing less."
"It's getting late," Harry said, glancing at the clock next to his bed. "Maybe we should try and get some sleep . . ."
"So am I going to be staying on the couch tonight or are you going to let me stay on the bed?"
"The couch," Harry said. "Most definitely the couch."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- - -----------------------------------------
"When the dragons grow too mighty
To slay with pen or sword,
I grow weary of the battle
And the storm I walk toward."
Severus Snape softly repeated the Madrigal, remembering a long time ago when those words had rung clearly from the depths of the Forbidden Forest. Yes, it seemed like such a long time ago . . . Tom's cloak flung out on the ground -- serving as a picnic blanket. The two of them playing with puffball mushrooms that grew sporadically among the piles of moss, Severus singing 16th century Madrigals like some dark canary, Tom leaning over from time to time to steal a kiss . . . Yes, such a long time ago.
"When all around is madness
And there's no safe port in view,
I long to turn my path homeward
To stop awhile with you."
Overall, Severus found the entire thing to be very ironic. How was it that the "greasy potions master" had held two men in the palm of his hand at the same time? And James Potter, the Gryffindor Demigod at that! And then to have possessed Tom Marvolo Riddle, Lord Voldemort . . . Severus gingerly rolled the sleeve of his robe up to examine the Dark Mark on his arm. What had been the rampant desire, the attraction? Severus glanced at his reflection in the mirror and fleetingly wondered how Tom bore to look at him. Not to mention James . . .
"When life becomes so barren
And as cold as winter skies,
There's a beacon in the darkness
In a distant pair of eyes."
Severus leaned back against his pillow, closing his eyes to the world and refusing to have anything more to do with thoughts of James Potter. But the memories still kept flooding his mind, no matter how hard he tried blocking them out. Spending late nights working on charms homework together, laughing about the constant bickering between Malfoy and Black, sharing hopes and dreams and fantasies . . . And then there had been Tom Riddle. A quick waltz in the Great Hall when they were sure everyone had gone to sleep, a midnight swim in the nearby lake -- Severus self-consciously hiding his body in the shadows, a walk around the school grounds, staring up at the crescent moon . . . And they had both loved him.
"In vain to search for order,
In vain to search for truth,
But these things can still be given.
Our love has shown me proof."
Author's Note: And Sirius makes his first appearance in the next chapter . . .
Author's Note II: Dedicated to Bosch -- For reminding my forgetful spirit to "Britishize!" *Smiles sheepishly*
Chapter Four -- In the Shadows
1978
"Are you seeing someone else?" was the first question James asked upon arriving to the Astronomy Tower. "Because I'll understand if you just want me to leave you alone. A Gryffindor really shouldn't be seeing a Slytherin anyway and my friends really wouldn't approve and if you just want me to go . . ."
"Just be quiet," Severus groaned, leaning against the wall. "I'm not seeing anyone else and you're not going to leave because I want you to stay."
"Good," James smiled. "Because I wouldn't have gone anyway."
"I know you wouldn't have, you insolent thing," Severus said, pulling James against him, threading his arms around his waist. "James," he murmured, nuzzling the unruly black hair. "James, would you ever consider staying with me after school ends?"
It took James a while to understand what Severus was asking but, when it finally dawned on him, he pulled away slightly from Severus, taken aback.
"I . . . You're asking me to date you?" James asked quizzically. "Like formally date you? As in . . . You and me, walking around Hogsmeade, holding hands and buying joint Christmas cards?"
"Not the joint Christmas cards," Severus laughed, "But we could buy a small place just outside of town and you could go and be a professional Quidditch player or whatever it is you want to do and I could . . . I don't know. It was probably a foolish idea anyway."
"Yeah," James muttered, preoccupied. "Probably was."
"So . . . Do you want to go back to your chambers or are we going to continue with this rendezvous?"
"I don't think so," James said suddenly. "I'm not really in the mood tonight."
"Oh," Severus said, startled. "Is that my fault?"
"Yes," James sighed. "I suppose it is. I just need some time to think about where this whole thing is going."
"Worried about your friends?" Severus snapped. "Worried that they won't . . . approve of our little liaison?"
"A little," James admitted.
"Can't you think for yourself for once?" Severus asked, exasperated.
"Why would you want me to stay with you anyway?" James huffed, sitting down on a nearby stool. "According to you, I'm an insufferable brat who's never been good at anything except mounting a broomstick, take that last phrase however you want to. I can't even remember the last time we had a conversation without bickering. I love you and you know that I do but I'm not so sure I want to spend a good portion of my life with you."
"That sounds like love," Severus muttered in his usual cynical tone.
"Honestly Severus," James sighed. "Why would you want me?"
"Because I don't like being alone," Severus said tersely.
"You wouldn't be alone Sev," James said, somewhat coddling the Slytherin. "You have friends, don't you?"
"Just consider the option, James. Please?"
"Of course Sev," James smiled. "I always consider my options."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------
1996
"Oh my god," Harry said under his breath. "Oh my god, that is the singular most disgusting thing I have ever heard in my life! Do you actually expect me to believe that my dad was sleeping with Professor Snape? That's just . . . wrong!"
"Choose to believe it . . . or don't," Tom said casually, leaning against the head of the bed. "It's of no consequence to me. I'm just repeating the story."
"But my dad hated Professor Snape! They couldn't stand each other!"
"Love knows no bounds," Tom sighed with a bit of nostalgia.
"So what made my dad choose Lily over Severus?" Harry asked and then he rethought the question. "Actually, forget that I asked that. Any person with half a mind would choose my mom over Snape."
"Your dad almost said yes," Tom reflected. "And that's where the story starts getting complicated."
"Isn't it all complicated enough already?"
"You're the one who asked to hear about this," Tom said, chastising the young Gryffindor.
"I was angry with you," Harry said, crossing his arms over his chest. "I was frustrated and angry with you. I didn't want my family to go from being a clean-cut 'Home and Country' model to being something off of 'Eastenders,' okay?"
"I'm just telling you what happened," Tom sniffed. "Nothing more and nothing less."
"It's getting late," Harry said, glancing at the clock next to his bed. "Maybe we should try and get some sleep . . ."
"So am I going to be staying on the couch tonight or are you going to let me stay on the bed?"
"The couch," Harry said. "Most definitely the couch."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- - -----------------------------------------
"When the dragons grow too mighty
To slay with pen or sword,
I grow weary of the battle
And the storm I walk toward."
Severus Snape softly repeated the Madrigal, remembering a long time ago when those words had rung clearly from the depths of the Forbidden Forest. Yes, it seemed like such a long time ago . . . Tom's cloak flung out on the ground -- serving as a picnic blanket. The two of them playing with puffball mushrooms that grew sporadically among the piles of moss, Severus singing 16th century Madrigals like some dark canary, Tom leaning over from time to time to steal a kiss . . . Yes, such a long time ago.
"When all around is madness
And there's no safe port in view,
I long to turn my path homeward
To stop awhile with you."
Overall, Severus found the entire thing to be very ironic. How was it that the "greasy potions master" had held two men in the palm of his hand at the same time? And James Potter, the Gryffindor Demigod at that! And then to have possessed Tom Marvolo Riddle, Lord Voldemort . . . Severus gingerly rolled the sleeve of his robe up to examine the Dark Mark on his arm. What had been the rampant desire, the attraction? Severus glanced at his reflection in the mirror and fleetingly wondered how Tom bore to look at him. Not to mention James . . .
"When life becomes so barren
And as cold as winter skies,
There's a beacon in the darkness
In a distant pair of eyes."
Severus leaned back against his pillow, closing his eyes to the world and refusing to have anything more to do with thoughts of James Potter. But the memories still kept flooding his mind, no matter how hard he tried blocking them out. Spending late nights working on charms homework together, laughing about the constant bickering between Malfoy and Black, sharing hopes and dreams and fantasies . . . And then there had been Tom Riddle. A quick waltz in the Great Hall when they were sure everyone had gone to sleep, a midnight swim in the nearby lake -- Severus self-consciously hiding his body in the shadows, a walk around the school grounds, staring up at the crescent moon . . . And they had both loved him.
"In vain to search for order,
In vain to search for truth,
But these things can still be given.
Our love has shown me proof."
Author's Note: And Sirius makes his first appearance in the next chapter . . .