Author's Note: In honor of my Birthday, which is tomorrow -- New Chapter!
Chapter Seven -- Some Images Never Fade
Too tall, too thin, too pale . . . Harry stared at the man before him, lips pursed together. A flood of memories rushed over him -- Horrible memories of a time that had passed not so long ago. Memories of a time when his life had been in jeopardy every other week and the Quidditch Cup sometimes had to come second to his own survival. A lot of Memories of Dreamless Sleep Potions, taken at three o'clock in the morning -- Memories of giving himself up to that abyss of nothingness.
Harry turned to his godfather who was currently choking on his own words. He'd start to say something, hack a little, and then take in another deep breath. "You . . ." Sirius managed to get out after a few efforts. "You . . . You changed the spell? You didn't use an identity spell? You used something else?" Harry could tell that his godfather meant to use statements but it came out as questions instead.
"You heard the words the same as I did," Tom said, his voice remarkably raspy and harsh. Harry couldn't repress a brief shudder, which automatically earned him a look of concern from Tom.
"Are you alright?" he asked, drifting over to place a gaunt hand on Harry's shoulder. Harry nodded. It was odd -- Not particularly unpleasant, but certainly odd. There wasn't a shield there anymore for Harry to rely on. There wasn't a visible barrier separating Tom from Lord Voldemort. No, they appeared to be one and the same now. It wasn't particularly unpleasant though -- Just remarkably odd. Harry reached his hand up and placed it over Tom's.
"Fine," Harry muttered, looking over to Sirius who was looking at the two of them in unrepressed astonishment. "I'm doing just fine. Are you alright, Sirius?"
After a few fish-liked movements of his mouth, Sirius leapt to his feet. "Where's Professor Dumbledore? I need to speak to Professor Dumbledore immediately. Someone has got to speak to Professor Dumbledore about this."
"Calm down," Harry said quickly. "Don't overreact. Why don't you go and see if you can find Professor Dumbledore and we'll both be waiting here when you get back."
As soon as the words left Harry's mouth, a look of distrust came over Sirius' eyes.
"Leave you with him?" Sirius exclaimed, lips contorting into a scowl. "Over my dead body. He killed your parents, Harry. Don't forget that. He's not worthy of whatever trust you've invested in him."
"Sirius," Harry said firmly. "Tom holds more than my trust, he holds my life. He holds my life the same as I hold his." Harry took a deep breath and Tom patted him gently on the shoulder, urging him on. "Sirius, you don't understand this. The two of us were put together for a reason. We're meant to be together, whether we initially like it or not. Sometimes life doesn't always turn out the way we want it to. We just have to go where the wind takes us, understand?" Sirius nodded hesitantly. "Now go and get Professor Dumbledore and we'll all talk this out together." Sirius didn't move. "Sirius, you don't have to trust Tom. Just trust me."
Sirius hesitated for a second and then turned on his heels and stormed out the door, slamming it behind him.
"Your godfather obviously cares for you," Tom said skeptically, stroking at the nape of Harry's neck. Harry grimaced and pulled away slightly. "What's the matter?"
"Nothing," Harry said, pulling his hand away from Tom. "I just don't feel very comfortable having you touch me when you're like that." Harry looked Tom up and down, taking in the snake-like creature before him. "Could you turn yourself back or something?"
Tom sighed, sitting down next to Harry but keeping his distance. "I have to wait for Dumbledore. He can turn me back. I'm sorry that you have to see me like this again."
"It's fine," Harry sighed.
It really wasn't fine though.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------
"An identity spell really wasn't necessary, Tom," Dumbledore sighed, taking a sip of tea. "I don't have the ingredients for the glamourie here at Hogwarts, you know. You're going to have to remain as you are for the night. I should be able to get a hold of them by tomorrow." Another sip of tea. "You could have called me and I would have vouched in your honor."
Tom nodded slightly. "Will Sirius be staying long?" he asked.
"As long as Harry wants me to," Sirius stated definitely. Then he rethought the statement. "As long as it takes to convince me that Harry is safe."
"What could I do to him?" Tom hissed. "I can't leave him. I can't kill him. What could I do to him, Sirius? Absolutely nothing! Of course your godson is safe. He couldn't be anything else then, could he?"
Sirius glared at Tom, noticing the bitter note in the Dark Lord's voice. "Don't you even care about him? Do you know what a brave, noble, loyal young boy you have sitting there next to you? Do you have any idea, Voldemort?" Sirius spat the name out, utterly disgusted with it. It was Tom's turn to flinch, this time in sheer annoyance.
"I feel very strongly about your godson," Tom replied tersely.
"That doesn't tell me a single fucking thing," Sirius shouted, getting to his feet. "So you feel strongly about him. When haven't you felt strongly about him? I remember a time when you felt so strongly about him that you wanted to kill him -- Wanted to kill him more than anything in the world, do you remember? Do you mean to tell me you feel that same way now?"
Tom also rose to his feet, towering before the little-rebel-who-could.
"I do not mean that in the least, Sirius," Tom said through gritted teeth. "I feel very strongly about Harry. I feel a need to comfort him, to protect him, to honor and cherish him, to educate him, to indulge him, to discipline him, to nurture him, to live for every aspect of his being. I feel very strongly for this boy, indeed." Then Tom added as an afterthought. "Certainly I feel more for him than you ever did."
This was the last straw for Sirius who threw his leather jacket onto the couch and started to make like he was going to beat Tom to a bloody pulp. One quick wave of Dumbledore's wand, though, and he found himself locked in place -- Unable to move a step forward.
"I love him!" Sirius yelled. "I love Harry more than anything in this world! Tell me that and then I might believe you. Tell me that you love my godson!"
Tom remained silent.
"Tell me that you love my godson, god damn it!" Sirius raged.
But this wasn't about Sirius and Tom anymore. Tom's eyes had come to focus on Harry Potter, the little Boy who Lived sitting by his side. The savior of the wizarding world was looking up at Tom with profound curiosity, wanting, and expectance. Tom knew that he should say it -- "I love you, Harry." But if he did . . .
Tom thrust his shoulders back.
"You should mind your own business, Black," Tom hissed, evermore the Dark Lord. Harry stared up at Tom, eyes wide with shock.
"You don't even love him," Sirius stated knowingly. "You could never love anyone, you fucking Half-Blood." Harry knew the words were cheap but they would cut Tom deeply all the same.
"Don't play with fire, Black," Tom said, pulling his wand out of his robes and pointing it directly at Sirius. "You're only going to get burnt in the end." Before Harry could make a move to stop him, Tom had yelled out one of the three Unforgivable Curses -- "Crucio!"
Harry suddenly felt claustrophobic -- The pumping of his own blood through his veins blocked out the sound of Sirius' screams. The world seemed to be closing in around him and his breath became short. He suddenly knew that he needed to get out of that room. It didn't matter where he went to as long as he just got out of that room. He stumbled to his feet and rushed out the door as fast as he could.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------
Harry leaned against the wall, trying to get his bearings. The world had ceased spinning and Harry now felt like he was simply floating on reality's storm cloud. He sighed and brushed his hair out of his eyes, looking up momentarily.
Standing before him, eyebrow arched skeptically, stood the one man he really didn't want to see at the moment.
"Well, Potter, you might as well explain yourself."
Snape.
Chapter Seven -- Some Images Never Fade
Too tall, too thin, too pale . . . Harry stared at the man before him, lips pursed together. A flood of memories rushed over him -- Horrible memories of a time that had passed not so long ago. Memories of a time when his life had been in jeopardy every other week and the Quidditch Cup sometimes had to come second to his own survival. A lot of Memories of Dreamless Sleep Potions, taken at three o'clock in the morning -- Memories of giving himself up to that abyss of nothingness.
Harry turned to his godfather who was currently choking on his own words. He'd start to say something, hack a little, and then take in another deep breath. "You . . ." Sirius managed to get out after a few efforts. "You . . . You changed the spell? You didn't use an identity spell? You used something else?" Harry could tell that his godfather meant to use statements but it came out as questions instead.
"You heard the words the same as I did," Tom said, his voice remarkably raspy and harsh. Harry couldn't repress a brief shudder, which automatically earned him a look of concern from Tom.
"Are you alright?" he asked, drifting over to place a gaunt hand on Harry's shoulder. Harry nodded. It was odd -- Not particularly unpleasant, but certainly odd. There wasn't a shield there anymore for Harry to rely on. There wasn't a visible barrier separating Tom from Lord Voldemort. No, they appeared to be one and the same now. It wasn't particularly unpleasant though -- Just remarkably odd. Harry reached his hand up and placed it over Tom's.
"Fine," Harry muttered, looking over to Sirius who was looking at the two of them in unrepressed astonishment. "I'm doing just fine. Are you alright, Sirius?"
After a few fish-liked movements of his mouth, Sirius leapt to his feet. "Where's Professor Dumbledore? I need to speak to Professor Dumbledore immediately. Someone has got to speak to Professor Dumbledore about this."
"Calm down," Harry said quickly. "Don't overreact. Why don't you go and see if you can find Professor Dumbledore and we'll both be waiting here when you get back."
As soon as the words left Harry's mouth, a look of distrust came over Sirius' eyes.
"Leave you with him?" Sirius exclaimed, lips contorting into a scowl. "Over my dead body. He killed your parents, Harry. Don't forget that. He's not worthy of whatever trust you've invested in him."
"Sirius," Harry said firmly. "Tom holds more than my trust, he holds my life. He holds my life the same as I hold his." Harry took a deep breath and Tom patted him gently on the shoulder, urging him on. "Sirius, you don't understand this. The two of us were put together for a reason. We're meant to be together, whether we initially like it or not. Sometimes life doesn't always turn out the way we want it to. We just have to go where the wind takes us, understand?" Sirius nodded hesitantly. "Now go and get Professor Dumbledore and we'll all talk this out together." Sirius didn't move. "Sirius, you don't have to trust Tom. Just trust me."
Sirius hesitated for a second and then turned on his heels and stormed out the door, slamming it behind him.
"Your godfather obviously cares for you," Tom said skeptically, stroking at the nape of Harry's neck. Harry grimaced and pulled away slightly. "What's the matter?"
"Nothing," Harry said, pulling his hand away from Tom. "I just don't feel very comfortable having you touch me when you're like that." Harry looked Tom up and down, taking in the snake-like creature before him. "Could you turn yourself back or something?"
Tom sighed, sitting down next to Harry but keeping his distance. "I have to wait for Dumbledore. He can turn me back. I'm sorry that you have to see me like this again."
"It's fine," Harry sighed.
It really wasn't fine though.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------
"An identity spell really wasn't necessary, Tom," Dumbledore sighed, taking a sip of tea. "I don't have the ingredients for the glamourie here at Hogwarts, you know. You're going to have to remain as you are for the night. I should be able to get a hold of them by tomorrow." Another sip of tea. "You could have called me and I would have vouched in your honor."
Tom nodded slightly. "Will Sirius be staying long?" he asked.
"As long as Harry wants me to," Sirius stated definitely. Then he rethought the statement. "As long as it takes to convince me that Harry is safe."
"What could I do to him?" Tom hissed. "I can't leave him. I can't kill him. What could I do to him, Sirius? Absolutely nothing! Of course your godson is safe. He couldn't be anything else then, could he?"
Sirius glared at Tom, noticing the bitter note in the Dark Lord's voice. "Don't you even care about him? Do you know what a brave, noble, loyal young boy you have sitting there next to you? Do you have any idea, Voldemort?" Sirius spat the name out, utterly disgusted with it. It was Tom's turn to flinch, this time in sheer annoyance.
"I feel very strongly about your godson," Tom replied tersely.
"That doesn't tell me a single fucking thing," Sirius shouted, getting to his feet. "So you feel strongly about him. When haven't you felt strongly about him? I remember a time when you felt so strongly about him that you wanted to kill him -- Wanted to kill him more than anything in the world, do you remember? Do you mean to tell me you feel that same way now?"
Tom also rose to his feet, towering before the little-rebel-who-could.
"I do not mean that in the least, Sirius," Tom said through gritted teeth. "I feel very strongly about Harry. I feel a need to comfort him, to protect him, to honor and cherish him, to educate him, to indulge him, to discipline him, to nurture him, to live for every aspect of his being. I feel very strongly for this boy, indeed." Then Tom added as an afterthought. "Certainly I feel more for him than you ever did."
This was the last straw for Sirius who threw his leather jacket onto the couch and started to make like he was going to beat Tom to a bloody pulp. One quick wave of Dumbledore's wand, though, and he found himself locked in place -- Unable to move a step forward.
"I love him!" Sirius yelled. "I love Harry more than anything in this world! Tell me that and then I might believe you. Tell me that you love my godson!"
Tom remained silent.
"Tell me that you love my godson, god damn it!" Sirius raged.
But this wasn't about Sirius and Tom anymore. Tom's eyes had come to focus on Harry Potter, the little Boy who Lived sitting by his side. The savior of the wizarding world was looking up at Tom with profound curiosity, wanting, and expectance. Tom knew that he should say it -- "I love you, Harry." But if he did . . .
Tom thrust his shoulders back.
"You should mind your own business, Black," Tom hissed, evermore the Dark Lord. Harry stared up at Tom, eyes wide with shock.
"You don't even love him," Sirius stated knowingly. "You could never love anyone, you fucking Half-Blood." Harry knew the words were cheap but they would cut Tom deeply all the same.
"Don't play with fire, Black," Tom said, pulling his wand out of his robes and pointing it directly at Sirius. "You're only going to get burnt in the end." Before Harry could make a move to stop him, Tom had yelled out one of the three Unforgivable Curses -- "Crucio!"
Harry suddenly felt claustrophobic -- The pumping of his own blood through his veins blocked out the sound of Sirius' screams. The world seemed to be closing in around him and his breath became short. He suddenly knew that he needed to get out of that room. It didn't matter where he went to as long as he just got out of that room. He stumbled to his feet and rushed out the door as fast as he could.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------
Harry leaned against the wall, trying to get his bearings. The world had ceased spinning and Harry now felt like he was simply floating on reality's storm cloud. He sighed and brushed his hair out of his eyes, looking up momentarily.
Standing before him, eyebrow arched skeptically, stood the one man he really didn't want to see at the moment.
"Well, Potter, you might as well explain yourself."
Snape.