Disclaimer: I own nothing except Serena; even though she tells me she owns herself.
Chapter Six
It was nearing midnight two days later when Remus returned to the Phoenix headquarters. He was weary after his mission for Dumbledore, and longed for sleep.
As he made his way up the stairs to the bedrooms, he could hear crying coming from behind a closed door.
Serena's door, to be exact.
Letting his satchel drop on the landing, Remus sighed. Running his hands through his hair, he went to her door and lifted his hand to knock. He hesitated when he heard voices within.
"I can't do this…" Serena was saying. She sobbed. "I just can't pretend I don't care anymore."
"There, there, dear." Molly Weasley replied.
"I should have said something before. And now it's too late."
"It's never too late." Molly said comfortingly.
He's gone." Serena sobbed brokenly. "He's gone. And I didn't tell him."
Who was gone? Remus wondered. And what didn't she get to tell him? He backed away from the door, stepping into the shadows, listening to Molly soothing Serena.
Eventually, the crying stopped, and her door opened. Molly stepped out, shutting the door behind her.
She started down the hallway, then spotted Remus in the shadows. "Remus, you've returned." She said with surprised cheer.
He nodded. "Molly, is Serena..?"
"Just feeling a little under the weather." Molly responded. She glanced at the door when she heard a muffled sob, then she eyed him shrewdly.
"Perhaps you ought to pop in and check on her, hmm?" She prompted.
Remus stared at the closed door. "I don't think that would be wise."
Molly smiled. "Go to her, Remus." She ordered gently.
With a nudge from her, he went to Serena's door. Self-consciously, he smoothed the front of his rumpled and dusty robes. Then he knocked.
When the door opened, he was stunned by her appearance.
Her dark hair was disheveled, hanging in tangled ropes over her face. Her eyes were red rimmed and glassy, her cheeks pale and blotchy, glistening with tears.
"Remus." Her voice was soft with shock.
"Are you alright?" He asked awkwardly.
She smiled weakly, swiping at her cheeks. "Just being a silly female."
"Ah… Uh, may I come in?" He asked.
She looked startled. "Of course." She opened the door further and stepped aside.
Remus entered, tucking his hands into the sleeves of his robe so that he didn't reach for her. He studied her silently. She looked as though she'd been grieving terribly, but that damned aloof mask was already slipping back into place. What was she hiding?
"Where were you?" She questioned as she wiped her eyes, sniffling delicately.
"An errand for Dumbledore." He responded, unexpectedly sorry that he hadn't told her he was going.
She studied him now. "You look tired." She commented.
"I am. It was a… rough couple of days." He looked toward the bed. "May I sit?"
She nodded.
He went to the bed and sat gingerly on the edge. "I had to go speak to some of the wizards that Sirius was… dealing with."
Sitting beside him, she folded her hands primly in her lap. "That must have been difficult. Now that… he's gone."
He's gone… So that was who she was grieving. Sirius. Lowering his head, he took a deep breath. "I couldn't help overhearing what you said to Molly."
Hearing her swift intake of breath, he continued. "I know you must miss him."
"I, well… what?" She looked at him, her eyes wide.
He dared one quick glance at her. "I know you had feelings for him in school."
"Pardon?"
"I had eyes." He told her. "I saw the way you watched him."
Confusion colored her voice. "I what?"
"When you thought no one was looking. I saw."
She surprised him by laughing. "You saw wrong, Moony."
He lifted his head, studying her face intently. "I know what I saw, Serena."
"You know what you thought you saw."
Now, he was confused. He shook his head. "No. It was him."
She smiled. "No, Remus. It was the boy who was always next to him."
His golden eyes widened. "What?"
"The mysterious boy with all the secrets." She hesitated. "I was watching you." Her voice was uncertain.
He was afraid to believe it. All that time, she had been looking at him? He stared at her, the silence stretching between them.
"Sirius was never for me." She told him quietly. "He was too brash, too arrogant. But you were always kind to me."
He had never been deliberately unkind to her, but also didn't remember going out of his way to be nice to her. That would have given away his feelings for her. So, she had been treated as Lily's friend, and that was all.
Now, he regretted that. Knowing that she had harbored some feelings for him in the past, made him think on what might have been.
"I wasn't kind, Serena. Not really." He said bitterly.
She shrugged. "It was enough."
He sighed heavily and looked away.
"Don't feel guilty about it, Remus. It's in the past. I don't cry about it anymore."
That did nothing to ease him. She had cried about it?
He dared a glance at her. "So, tonight, what were you crying about?"
She lifted a shoulder, looking away. "I thought you were gone for good. I didn't know if you were coming back."
"You were crying because of me?" He felt dreadful about that, but… still… Did that mean she still cared? He grinned at her. "Really?"
She stared at him. "Yes, well… I was overemotional. I was distraught." When he kept grinning, she narrowed her eyes at him. "There's no reason for you to be happy about that." But she wasn't really mad at him. She couldn't be. It was the first real smile she had seen on his face. And it transformed him; taking years off, making him look more like the young man she had fallen for.
She stuck her tongue out at him. "Maybe not that distraught." She said peevishly.
His smile turned gentle. "I'm sorry. But it's just, you know…"
She sighed. Lifting her hand, she touched his cheek. "I know."
He couldn't help himself from leaning into the caress, his eyes closing.
"You should get some sleep." She said softly. She knew that the meeting today wasn't the only reason he was tired. The full moon was coming up.
He grunted, nodding a little.
Serena reluctantly let her hand drop. "Remus. Go to bed before you pass out here."
Smiling again, he opened his eyes. "That would be bad." He responded, his voice filled with mischief.
Serena's lips curved up. "Go to bed Remus."
He stood slowly, gazing down at her sleepily. "Ok. I'm going." But he made no move to leave.
Serena rose, gently nudging him toward the door. "Go. Sleep sweet."
He stepped out into the hall. "We'll talk more tomorrow?"
She nodded. "Tomorrow." Then she shut the door.
Remus went to his own room, falling onto the bed, not bothering to take off his robes.
He stared up at the ceiling, bemused. All that time he had thought she had been interested in Sirius, and it had been him.
He fell asleep, a smile on his face, Serena on his mind.