Diablo 2 comedy stuff
Chapter III: The Forests of Kurast
Kurast Docks
Barbarian:(Green faced) Urgh.(Runs over to river and puts head over the side of a rail) Necromancer: Hey, the Barbarian got seasick! He's just as weak as the rest of us! Hratli: Welcome. Druid: Hey, has anyone told you that you sound a lot like Uncle from Jackie Chan Adventures? HratlI: Nooooo........ Druid gets funny looks from fellow party members. Druid: It's on TV every day on Fox Kids! Sorceress: TV? Druid: An electronic box that makes light and sound! Assassin: Fox Kids? Druid: A channel on TV! Amazon: Come on, it's time for your medication. (Drags Druid back to boat) Druid: It exists I tell you, IT EXISTS!
Spider forest
Dark Wanderer: Oh, the pain, the pain of it all. Diablo: Quiet you! Dark Wanderer: I feel so used! Barbarian: There there. Dark Wanderer: Ha ha ! You fell right into my trap! (Pulls out very large knife) Barbarian: No, you fell into my trap! (Pulls out even bigger knife) Dark Wanderer: Wrong! ( Pulls out very, very large knife and falls into the river) Okay, you win. Barbarian: Works every time.
That place with the false gidbinn
Fetishes: hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Paladin: What in holy hell is going on here? (Clamps hand to mouth) Oh no! Forgive me Zakarum! (Starts whipping himself, just like the flagellants*) Necromancer walks over and kicks him in the head Necromancer: Dumbass. Red Forman**: Hey, you dumbass, that's my word! Necromancer walks over and kicks him in the. painful areas. Necromancer: Dumbass. Barbarian walks over and takes the false gidbinn, which goes on fire Barbarian: MUMMY! ( Runs away) Necromancer: Dumbass. Druid: Stop saying that! It's from a tv show as well! Guyver: Yeah! Everyone: AAAARGH!(They all run into the cave with the real Gidbinn)
Cave with Gidbinn
They walk in and find that unique shaman. The assassin walks over and takes the gidbinn from the shaman, who is deep in conversation. Assassin: Yoink! Shaman: Well, as I was saying The Life of Rocks is clearly overrated. Duriel told me it was the best book he had ever read but I disagree. Amazon: Come on! Sorceress: No, I want to see how this turns out! Shaman: Oh, hell it's you again! (Drinks a can of gasoline and throws a match down his throat) BUUUUURRRRRPP! Sorceress: Aieee! Amazon Aieee? Sorceress: Umm. uhh.well. Lord de Seis: Let me get that for you. CHAOS CONTROL!
Can someone please tell me how to get the Lam Esen's Tomb quest? I've done everything in act three except for that one quest. I don't know how to get it.
Travincal
Zakarumite type things: Will you join our religion. It's brilliant! Necromancer: The hell I will! Zakarumite: Then fu** off you mutha ****** son of a b****! Necromancer: Kiss my @$$ Zakarumite: That's it! Necromancer: Yo momma so fat, last time she jumped in the air, she got stuck! Zakarumite: Well, yo momma so old, she older than you! Necromancer: You take that back! Paladin: What are you getting so offended about? She is! Necromancer: Oh, so you're against me now too! Lister The Tormentor: Are you going to fight us or should we go home? Urgh.(Gets stabbed in the back along with fellow council members) Assassin is standing behind them with two bloody katars Assassin: Works every time. Necromancer: Now for the Compelling Orb! Smash Paladin: Praise Zakarum! They enter the durance of hate Later that night Diablo and Mephisto came out Mephisto: Dude! where's my compelling orb? Diablo: Where's your compelling orb dude? Mephisto: Dude! Where's my compelling orb? Diablo: Where's your compelling orb dude? Mephisto: Dude! Where's my compelling orb? Diablo: Where's your compelling orb dude? Lord de Seis: To find out, read Dude! Where's my compelling Orb? Parts 1&2!
Durance of Hate
Necromancer: (With dictionary) Durance. Durance ah, here it is. A Durance. Forced imprisonment. Interesting. The forced imprisonment of hate. Well done Blizzard. Paladin: What the hell? ( Clamps hand to his mouth and starts whipping himself) Mephisto appears Mephisto: Have you guys seen my compelling orb. Oh god it's you again. The paladin is holding Khalim's Will and a fragment of the compelling orb Paladin: Umm. Uhh. Well. Hey, look a distraction! Mephisto: Nice try, de Seis. Lord de Seis: What? It worked once! Necromancer: Your shoe is untied. Mephisto: What are you talking about? I don't have any legs! Lord de Seis: Right, that's enough. Come on, get through that portal. Into the next chapter. Come on. Hurry up now. They all go through the portal Lord de Seis: Not you, Mephisto. Mephisto: Sorry. Lord de Seis: Don't forget this. (Throws Mephisto's soulstone at Paladin) Mephisto: Hey that's mine! Oh well back to non-existence for me. (Disappears)
An: That's it for act III. Sorry about the content (Or lack of it) Oh, Redlady, I don't get weirded out by long reviews. I'm just happy some people are reading my fics. I registered last year and I've only just started writing seriously. If you like the way none of this makes sense then read my anime and game and author big brother fic. I'm not sure what category it's in.
*Flagellants were people who believed they would be cured of the black death if they walked around the countryside whipping themselves. ** From that 70's show.
Chapter III: The Forests of Kurast
Kurast Docks
Barbarian:(Green faced) Urgh.(Runs over to river and puts head over the side of a rail) Necromancer: Hey, the Barbarian got seasick! He's just as weak as the rest of us! Hratli: Welcome. Druid: Hey, has anyone told you that you sound a lot like Uncle from Jackie Chan Adventures? HratlI: Nooooo........ Druid gets funny looks from fellow party members. Druid: It's on TV every day on Fox Kids! Sorceress: TV? Druid: An electronic box that makes light and sound! Assassin: Fox Kids? Druid: A channel on TV! Amazon: Come on, it's time for your medication. (Drags Druid back to boat) Druid: It exists I tell you, IT EXISTS!
Spider forest
Dark Wanderer: Oh, the pain, the pain of it all. Diablo: Quiet you! Dark Wanderer: I feel so used! Barbarian: There there. Dark Wanderer: Ha ha ! You fell right into my trap! (Pulls out very large knife) Barbarian: No, you fell into my trap! (Pulls out even bigger knife) Dark Wanderer: Wrong! ( Pulls out very, very large knife and falls into the river) Okay, you win. Barbarian: Works every time.
That place with the false gidbinn
Fetishes: hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Paladin: What in holy hell is going on here? (Clamps hand to mouth) Oh no! Forgive me Zakarum! (Starts whipping himself, just like the flagellants*) Necromancer walks over and kicks him in the head Necromancer: Dumbass. Red Forman**: Hey, you dumbass, that's my word! Necromancer walks over and kicks him in the. painful areas. Necromancer: Dumbass. Barbarian walks over and takes the false gidbinn, which goes on fire Barbarian: MUMMY! ( Runs away) Necromancer: Dumbass. Druid: Stop saying that! It's from a tv show as well! Guyver: Yeah! Everyone: AAAARGH!(They all run into the cave with the real Gidbinn)
Cave with Gidbinn
They walk in and find that unique shaman. The assassin walks over and takes the gidbinn from the shaman, who is deep in conversation. Assassin: Yoink! Shaman: Well, as I was saying The Life of Rocks is clearly overrated. Duriel told me it was the best book he had ever read but I disagree. Amazon: Come on! Sorceress: No, I want to see how this turns out! Shaman: Oh, hell it's you again! (Drinks a can of gasoline and throws a match down his throat) BUUUUURRRRRPP! Sorceress: Aieee! Amazon Aieee? Sorceress: Umm. uhh.well. Lord de Seis: Let me get that for you. CHAOS CONTROL!
Can someone please tell me how to get the Lam Esen's Tomb quest? I've done everything in act three except for that one quest. I don't know how to get it.
Travincal
Zakarumite type things: Will you join our religion. It's brilliant! Necromancer: The hell I will! Zakarumite: Then fu** off you mutha ****** son of a b****! Necromancer: Kiss my @$$ Zakarumite: That's it! Necromancer: Yo momma so fat, last time she jumped in the air, she got stuck! Zakarumite: Well, yo momma so old, she older than you! Necromancer: You take that back! Paladin: What are you getting so offended about? She is! Necromancer: Oh, so you're against me now too! Lister The Tormentor: Are you going to fight us or should we go home? Urgh.(Gets stabbed in the back along with fellow council members) Assassin is standing behind them with two bloody katars Assassin: Works every time. Necromancer: Now for the Compelling Orb! Smash Paladin: Praise Zakarum! They enter the durance of hate Later that night Diablo and Mephisto came out Mephisto: Dude! where's my compelling orb? Diablo: Where's your compelling orb dude? Mephisto: Dude! Where's my compelling orb? Diablo: Where's your compelling orb dude? Mephisto: Dude! Where's my compelling orb? Diablo: Where's your compelling orb dude? Lord de Seis: To find out, read Dude! Where's my compelling Orb? Parts 1&2!
Durance of Hate
Necromancer: (With dictionary) Durance. Durance ah, here it is. A Durance. Forced imprisonment. Interesting. The forced imprisonment of hate. Well done Blizzard. Paladin: What the hell? ( Clamps hand to his mouth and starts whipping himself) Mephisto appears Mephisto: Have you guys seen my compelling orb. Oh god it's you again. The paladin is holding Khalim's Will and a fragment of the compelling orb Paladin: Umm. Uhh. Well. Hey, look a distraction! Mephisto: Nice try, de Seis. Lord de Seis: What? It worked once! Necromancer: Your shoe is untied. Mephisto: What are you talking about? I don't have any legs! Lord de Seis: Right, that's enough. Come on, get through that portal. Into the next chapter. Come on. Hurry up now. They all go through the portal Lord de Seis: Not you, Mephisto. Mephisto: Sorry. Lord de Seis: Don't forget this. (Throws Mephisto's soulstone at Paladin) Mephisto: Hey that's mine! Oh well back to non-existence for me. (Disappears)
An: That's it for act III. Sorry about the content (Or lack of it) Oh, Redlady, I don't get weirded out by long reviews. I'm just happy some people are reading my fics. I registered last year and I've only just started writing seriously. If you like the way none of this makes sense then read my anime and game and author big brother fic. I'm not sure what category it's in.
*Flagellants were people who believed they would be cured of the black death if they walked around the countryside whipping themselves. ** From that 70's show.