Disclaimer: Don't own it. Ha! I said it! Now you can't sue me! Not that I have any money anyway, but…

A/N~ Hello Everyone! I missed you all so very much! And I've really really missed writing and updating for you!! I know I PROMISED that I'd update as soon as I got back, but I just had a case of writer's block, so you'll have to forgive! I'll try to not make the chapters extremely short…but it's difficult getting back into the swing of things, ya know?

Okay, well, thanx to all of my reviewers especially to…

Marybug6otnile: Your reviews are so very encouraging!! I love 'em, bug!! Thanx so much! Oh, and cuz u helped some with the

Nefertirioc: Really? It brightened your day? I'm so glad to hear that! Makes me real real happy! Thanx lots! ;-)

Ale: You think this story is the best on the site? Really? WOW! Thanx lots.

And a special thanx to every1 who answered my question about what Rick might do in his spare time. I enjoyed them! Especially the few that were a tad bit out there. Lol. I actually asked to use in some of my stories, so you know…it's really great that I got them!

Chapter 3: A Replacement Part 1

The next day, Evie went to work as early as possible so that she wouldn't have to be around Rick much. She was afraid he would have another reason or way to get the ring. The only time she talked to him was that morning when she said goodbye.

When she got to work, she called a plumber to see if he could get the ring, since Jonathan wasn't able to. After all, Jonathan said himself that he wasn't very skilled with that sort of thing…

Luckily, the plumber could come over to her house today after Evie got off from work… There was just one problem: Rick would be home from work by that time and she would have to get him out of the house…

*~*~*~*~*~*

Evie got home later that day at 4:30, which meant she only had fifteen minutes to get rid of Rick.

"Jonathan!" She called when she got inside.

He answered, "Yeah?"

She followed the sound of his voice, finding him in the kitchen—where he often spent his time—eating a sandwich.

"Jonathan, I need your help with something."

"Evie, I told you! There's no way that I could possibly get that ring out!"

"I know, Jonathan. If you would just let me tell you what it is…"

"Oh. What is it then?"

"I need you to get Rick out of the house." Her voice was lowered down to a whisper.

"Yes…and?" Jonathan already knew the answer, but being the sarcastic Englishman that he was, he asked anyway.

"And I need you to do it for me."

"Why do you need him out?"

"Because I called a plumber over to see if he could find the ring since you couldn't and he's supposed to be here in…" She looked at her watch impatiently. "Ten minutes!"

Jonathan sighed loudly. He had really wanted to lounge around the house this evening. Plus, he knew that her whole plan was a lost cause, since Rick had the ring anyway. But…since he knew how Rick could be when one of the things he confided in Jonathan had escaped, he knew that he didn't dare tell Evie. He had done that too many times and was tired of the consequences.

"Please, Jonathan!"

"Oh, fine. But not too long!"

"Come back at 5:30, Jonathan. Now, please…just GO!"

He sighed again and raced off to find O'Connell.

He found him in Alex's room playing cops and robbers—a game that Evie highly disapproved of.

"Rick, what say you and I go out for a drink?" Jonathan asked hurriedly.

"Hi, Jonathan. Uh…now?"

"Yeah."

"No… I don't much feel like a drink right now…kinda…ya know…busy." He gave Jonathan a look that plainly stated that he should've noticed.

"Oh…a game of cards then?"

"No thanks."

"To see a picture?"

Rick gave Jonathan a quizzical look. He didn't much want to go to a movie with Jonathan…"People might…uh…get the wrong idea, don't you think?" He asked.

"Nah!"

"Well, no thanks anyway."

"Anything?"

"Why?"

"Be—because!"

Rick arched an eyebrow. Just then, the doorbell rang.

Jonathan's face got a little bit more urgent and then, "Just come, would you?"

Judging by the look on his brother-in-law's face, Rick could tell that this was important somehow.

"Okay, Jonathan." He said before saying goodbye to his son.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Meanwhile, Evie looked up the stairs nervously while rushing to answer the door.

"Hello, ma'am." The man said in a thick Southern American accent. He looked to be one of the dirtiest men she had ever seen…not counting the Cairo Prison where the Warden resided…

His hair looked like a brown rodent of some sort had fount it's way up onto his head—which Evie actually believed to be possible. He wore a pair of dust and grease covered blue jeans, which had holes in the knees, and a grease-stained blue t-shirt. His face was as—if not more—dirty than his clothes and was clearly in dire need of a shave.

"Oh…erm…hello." She looked him up and down again, disgusted by his appearance, and somehow reminded of her husband when she had first met him.

"Name's Joe Dirt. Is this here the O'Connell Manor?" (Sorry…couldn't help myself! I felt that I just HAD to name him that even though that's not how he looked.)

"Yes." Perfect name for him, Evie thought before punishing her self mentally for thinking that.

"Where's your problem at, ma'am?"

"Um…"She woke up out of her trance immediately. "It's right in the kitchen." She started to lead him there when she suddenly heard the voices of her husband and brother as they walked down the stairs. She ran to the kitchen door, opened it, and whispered to Mr. Dirt quickly, "Get in there! Quick!" He looked at her strangely. "Please, I don't want my husband to see you." Another strange look. "No! That's not what I…I'll explain, now would you please!" He did what she asked just in time before Rick and Jonathan reached the bottom of the stairs.

"Hey, Evie!" Rick said. "I didn't even know you were home!"

She walked over to him, and kissed him briefly. Calmly, she asked, "Ho was your day?" Over Rick's shoulder she could see Jonathan mouthing something. She couldn't understand him at first and kept looking at him while Rick partially answered, "It was—" Then she finally figured out that he was saying, "Where's the plumber?" and when Rick turned his back to look questioningly at Jonathan pointed behind her to the kitchen while mouthing, "In the kitchen." Rick then noticed that Jonathan was looking at Evie and turned around again to find Evie yawning and scratching her head.

He arched an eyebrow and then Jonathan quickly said, "Well, Evie, we're off to the bar."

"All right then. I'll see you whenever you get back."

"Bye! Come on, Rick!"

"Yeah…bye!" Rick said still confused and walked out the door behind Jonathan. 

"Er…ma'am? You mind explanin' what all that was about?" The plumber asked, sticking his head out the kitchen door.

Evie sighed and walked into the kitchen.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Once outside and by the car, Rick noticed that it was getting cloudy outside and that it might start to rain. "Hey, Jonathan, I'm gonna go inside and get my jacket. It'll only take a sec."

"Rick, it's just a little rain. You can take it."

"Yes, but there's no point in getting wet when you don't need to. I'll be right back!"

He raced off inside before Jonathan could say another word.

*~*~*~*~*~*

After Evie had reached the kitchen, the man asked her again.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Rick got inside to find that his jacket wasn't on the coat rack like it usually was. He thought back to the last time he'd had it and remembered that he had taken it off that day after work in the kitchen. 

*~*~*~*~*~*

"Well, it's actually quite a long story… " Evie started explaining. "It's just… Well, the thing that I need you to fix is…the pipe. Well, sort of. I need you to fetch something out of it. You see, I accidentally lost my wedding—"

Just then, she heard someone come in through the door right behind her. She turned around quickly and saw her husband standing at the door.

She spoke the first thing that came to mind to cover up what she had been saying, "Fork! I lost my wedding fork in the pipe!"

Both Rick and Joe asked simultaneously, "What?"

"Well, you know… The fork that you use to eat with on your wedding day. It's very dear to me… Rick, this is Mr. Joe Dirt. He's a plumber and I was hoping he could get the fork out."

"Hiya." Rick said and before he could say anything else, the plumber started talking to Evie again.

"Well, ma'am, I've only heard of a few cases where a fork actually got al the way down a pipe, but I do know how that must be plugging up everything else. I'll be able to get it out for ya."

"Evie, what's going on?"

"It's quite simple, Rick. I lost a fork down the drain and I called a plumber to get it out. No big deal. Go on out and have fun with Jonathan!" Evie was very rarely ever this happy about him going to a bar…but he went along with it, said his goodbyes and left.

Then, Evie explained everything thoroughly to the plumber.

*~*~*~*~*~*

About an hour later, there was no trace of the ring, and she knew what she was going to have to do: find the exact same ring somewhere else and buy it.

*~*~*~*~*~*

*End of Chapter*

So sorry…I meant to make this part of the chapter shorter and then write more…but that's how the story goes! Did you like? Hmm?? Hopefully…because if you didn't, I will be sad. And if you don't review, I won't know if you liked it or not…which will still make me sad… So, review and then I'll be happy! K? K. Bye now!

*~*

EvelynC.O