A/n: Heyo! I update you all with a new chapter!! ^^ I swear, this has to be the quickest I've come out with a new chapter... *proud*
Yes... now is when all OOC worries come to their full peak... eheh.... Just as a fair warning. I WILL say "I told you so!"... Ren is EXTREMELY OOC starting NOW! Not really OOC for this particular fic, but for the anime... YES.
A full ramble on Ren lays at the end of this fic. READ AND FIND OUT. P
HOROREN FLUFF BEGINS NOW TOO!! XD Bwaha..!
Oh, and since I forgot it in the last two chapters....
DISCLAIMER!: I DO NOT OWN these characters! They belong to Hiroyuki Takei. I'm just borrowing the characters for my own twisted and impure satisfaction! MWAHAHAHA--- *gets hit with brick*... X_x;;
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Find Yourself a Back Door
Ch. 2 : Lingering Shadows
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As soon as Horohoro had arrived back at his dorm, he had called his parents immediately. After much pleading and careful negotiation, they had begrudgingly agreed to let their son stay in Tokyo. That is, untill they needed him to come back, for whatever reason.
Horohoro had hung up cheerfully and shouted "YATTA!!"
Arrangements had soon been made, and Horohoro would be moving into the Asakura residence the next day, along with Ren. Ren's sister, Jun, had decided to go back home to China. She would tell their parents about Ren's descision to stay in Tokyo and had sounded rather grim about it, as if she knew that his parents would be furious. Ren had shrugged it off with his usual arrogance, but there was a slight note of... something in his voice as he continued to talk to her. Perhaps it was dread...?
Ren had bid his sister farewell, and Jun had left him at the Asakura house to go and gather her own things for the plane flight to China.
They had both quickly settled in, with much help from Yoh and Manta. Manta had been offered to stay, but his parents wouldn't have allowed it. Plus there was the fact that he'd be moving away in a few months to get settled at the college he would be attending. He had promised to come visit as often as possible, however. Yoh had been one of his first friends out there, and he was eternally grateful to the boy.
After everything was set up, Anna had sternly told them that they weren't getting away without doing at least SOME of the housework (They'd be living here, after all...). A list of chores had been decided upon, and each would take turns doing a certain task. Ren looked quite put off by this, but Horohoro accepted the responsibility readily. Untill he got a job to pay off his stay, this was more than adequate means of earning his keep. Anna was pleased, and soon it was time for their first night sleep in their new home.
Yoh had explained earlier, that not all the rooms had been cleaned out just yet, so Horohoro and Ren would be sharing a room for a while untill they had a chance to get another room open. The two had agreed (Somewhat against Ren's will, but he'd put up with it.), and they had soon set up their room. Ren was on the side closest to the sliding door, and Horohoro was closer to the small window on the other side. They had a closet, which was empty at the moment, and their stuff had been piled against the back wall. Two futons had been laid out on each's side. The light had been turned out, and it was time for them to sleep.
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'click!'
Ren hit the light switch, and the small room was suddenly bathed in pale moonlight from the window. Dark shadows lurked in the corners, and amongst the boxes piled up against the back wall. Ren shivered lightly, before berrating himself and settling down into his own futon. Horohoro had been asleep when Ren had come in from brushing his teeth. The boy was now curled up on the other side of the room, under his own futon, snoring lightly.
Ren lay there for a while, staring blankly at the wall, his back to Horohoro. New surroundings... not anything he was used to. This night would be rough on him. The nightmares would come for him, he was sure. His sister wasn't here either... all means of comfort was far away from him right now. He'd have to try to be strong tonight... but he was very unsure of himself. Rememberances of his old, horrific nightmares came back to him breifly, and he shuddered, wrapping his arms lightly across his chest. He bit his lip. He would NOT show weakness around that IDIOT. He shut his eyes tightly and tried to concentrate on something pleasant.
Soon, his breathing steadied, and he fell into a rather fitful sleep... He was blessed with a peaceful mind for a few blissful hours, before a nightmare finally assaulted his dream-world...
--~~~* /Yume\ *~~~--
The blankness he felt soon gave way to darkness. His body was made aware of where it was, and the floating sensation he had previously experienced gave way to the feeling he was falling... falling... falling... down and down into the eternal pit his mind had conjured up for him.
Back in the small room, his body jerked as he finally hit the bottom of the pit in his mind. His eyes were closed tight, and a light sweat had formed across his face. His fists were clenched, and his mouth lay open, breathing becoming a bit more ragged.
The terror in his chest began to build. In his dream, the landing had been soft, but not without shaking him slightly. He was familliar with this dream... it was one of his worst ones, and he had a vague idea of what would happen next...
Flames alit from either side of him. He lay still, staring out of the corner of his eye at them and watched as they flickered. There was no liveliness in the way the flames danced, just bleakness. He gulped.
There was a pounding in the background. Steady and unwavering. He found his body acting on it's own as he stood up, facing the direction of the pounding.
The beat continued... growing louder and louder... closer and closer. Ren found his breathing coming more and more harshly now, his fists clenching and unclenching.
Finally, the hideous pounding reached it's crescendo. One final note was struck, and another flame lit, revealing at last... Ren's father.
Ren's teeth ground together as he glared up at the man towering above him. The fear in the pit of his stomach grew tenfold at his father's presence.
"Is that any way to look at your father... Ren?" His father's voice was mocking. Loud and encompassing... holding plenty of authority.
Ren stayed silent, his glare never wavering. He would be strong this time. Dream or no, he would come out victorious! He'd show his father! The fear welling up inside of him, however was trying to prove otherwise...
His father wasn't phased in the least. "You should have come back home..." His voice was considerably more angry now. "Have you no respect for your family?"
Ren felt some anger come out of him at these words, though the terror never left. "I finished school. Passed with some of the best grades amongst the students. I've done everything you asked of me. What more could you possibly want?!" He snapped out harshly.
His father's gaze grew more intense now "That attitude of yours needs to be fixed... You have... obligations here. Your sister was wise in leaving you, but she should have at least brought you home. You're too much of a disgrace to this family to be out there on your own."
Ren's stomach sunk further at these words. The words of his father always managed to break through all his mental and emoional barriers and sting like Hell. He felt them shatter now, and his spirit fell. He tried to retaliate. "I can manage on my own!!! I'll show you! I can become so much more than you expect! I'll PROVE to you that I'm not a disgrace!" He shouted, trying to regain some of his lost composure, though this task seemed somewhat impossible.
The man turned, figure illuminated eerily by the flames. "You'll always be a disgrace. No matter what you do, my opinion will not change of you..." The large flame which had lit up Ren's father went out suddenly. Darkness decended upon Ren and his vision. His breath hitched painfully in his throat, as fear made his entire body go numb. His breath was coming in irregular pants now, as he strained to get enough oxygen into his body. His Father's voice floated out for one last stinging remark.
"Your sister was always weaker than you... maybe SHE could be made into what you will never succeed in being...?"
All of Ren's fear and dread flared up instantly into anger.
"LEAVE NEE-SAN ALONE YOU BASTARD!!" He screamed. Earlier arrogance coming back to him in a small fit of rage.
His father laughed; the sound came from all around him... floating in and out of his ears. Such an evil sound...
The flames went out all at once. He couldn't see anything anymore... and the laughing didn't stop. Ren's anger was sucked out of him suddenly. Fear took over his mind and body and he refused to move. He felt all his mental barriers begin to weaken and cave in as the laughter danced all around him... it grew further away... and then came from directly in front of him. He didn't move, didn't breathe... Frozen in place. He whimpered... afraid.
Self-doubt began to seep into his mind, tearing at his thoughts. Maybe he was a disgrace... what if he never COULD prove himself... Could he really do anything right? Thousands of searing questions assaulted him, and he felt a painful lump grow in his throat, making it hard to breathe. He gulped. No... He HAD to be right... he HAD to show his father... no matter how painful it would be, he had to prove that he could do things correctly... or else... his sister--
A horrified scream ripped through the darkness, blocking out his father's laughter. His eyes grew wide, and he choked on his next words.
"N-nee-san...!"
He struggled now. Tried to move. He tried as hard as he could to just step forward, but he couldn't! Something was holding him back. He looked down at his body, but saw nothing but empty air. The darkness had claimed his body, rendered him immobile as he listened to his father's hideous cackling and his sister's terrified screams. He struggled again and again, panic overtaking him.
"LET ME GO! NEE-SAN!!" He screamed desperately, focusing as hard as he could on just getting out of the darkness's grasp. It's hold was too great, however. He could feel it grasping at him... clawing down his back and the curving ying-yang tatoo burned there... along the many scars that had been inflicted upon him under his father's abuse.
Loud 'SLAP!''s and 'CRACK!''s were heard in the distance; his sister screaming after each one. Ren gasped in pain. What was that?!
Another 'CRACK!' resounded in the dark, and a stinging ran up and along his spine. His sister screamed again. 'CRACK!'. It happened again, only the stinging came from a different location this time. Ren tried to cry out, but the darkness had claimed his voice now as well. His sister screamed in his place, however, as more blows were dealt by the invisible whip. It continued over and over... endlessly for what seemed like hours... Ren had given up on moving... it hurt too much.
But this was a dream. It shoudn't hurt.
A dream... Ren gasped as another blow struck him. This was... a dream... Why couldn't he wake up?!
'Wake up!' Ren told himself, desperate to get out of this Hell. 'Just wake up!!' Another crack and scream. 'WAKE UP, DAMMIT!'
"But I won't let you get away that easily, Ren..." His Father...
Ren couldn't hold it anymore. Despite everything... despite the vain attempt to remain strong, he couldn't hold it in anymore. Tears began slipping past his eyelashes, dripping down his face. This was so humiliating!
His father's jeering words echoed around in his head... "Worthless!" "Pathetic!" "Disgrace!" "Horrible!" "Unworthy!" "Weakling!" They danced... mingling in amongst his own self doubt and his sister's screams.
'Dammit...!' Ren sobbed. He felt so helpless... he hated this!
One last 'CRACK!' and scream, and suddenly everything grew silent. Previous noises echoed across his mind in the sudden silence. The only noise to be heard, however, was the pounding of his own heart, and his silent gasps for breath amongst his staggered sobs.
A flame alit, revealing his father again. Calm and collected with that godawful smirk on his face. He looked down at Ren, satisfied with his work for the night in breaking his son down. He admired his handiwork, as Ren stood there, still grasped and held up by claws of darkness. "Hmm..." His father began, eyes narrowing as he stared at his son sternly. "You'll never amount to anything. You're a pathetic child who will never be worthy of your family name."
Ren choked. He tried to say something, but darkness still held onto his throat and made it painful to breathe. He wheezed as he stood there, tears still streaming down his face, blurring the image of his father.
The flame went out and the darkness let go of him all at once. Ren was plunged into darkness once again. Without the support, he fell down, but instead of slamming into the ground, he found himself falling down that endless pit again. Fear gripped at his stomach again, and he found his voice now.
"FATHER!!!" He screamed as he fell further and further down into the darkness, screaming now. Terrified.
One more word was said by his father.
"Pathetic."
It rang throughout his mind as he fell. Rang over and over.
He screamed.
--~~~* \Yume/ *~~~--
Ren jerked awake with the last note of his screaming ringing throughout the room and the entire house. He sat up, breathing heavily and completely immersed in a fine sheet of cold sweat. He brought a hand tentatively to his cheek. Wet. He was still crying.
"Dammit." He muttered.
He threw the covers off him and hugged his knees to his chest, rocking back and forth, burying his face into his arms. He allowed himself to sob quietly there. He REALLY hoped no one had heard that scream...
The sound of a shifting body and a loud groan beside him nixed that hope, however.
Ren shuddered and turned quickly so his back was facing his rousing roomate. He scrubbed vainly at his eyes to dry them. Dammit. The LAST thing he needed was some mocking comment made by that IDIOT about him crying!
"Ren...?" The sleepy voice came from behind him. "Whazzamatter? Why'd you scream?"
"Go back to sleep." Ren snapped, although his voice cracked and gave him away. Dammit, dammit, dammit!
There was a pause.
"... Are you... crying?"
Ren growled, though this was slightly hindered by the hiccuping that had started because of his lack of air. He whirled around, angry now. "YES I'm CRYING!" He snapped again, voice gaining a little strength now. He glared at Horohoro and awaited the jeering and mocking comments that he knew would be coming.
They didn't though.
Horohoro looked rather taken aback. "What HAPPENED? You look like Hell warmed over!"
Ren shook. He didn't know whether to be grateful or angry at this. He was happy, however, that Horohoro had seemed to grow some brains and chose not to make any smart remarks.
"Nothing that you'd understand! Now, if I remember correctly, I told you to go back to sleep!" Ren semi-shouted at the other boy.
Horo wasn't about to be that easily deterred, however, and pressed further.
"Try me, Ren. What happened?" He said. A little more sternly this time.
"NOTHING!" Ren WAS shouting now. "Just leave me alone and go back to sleep!!"
"LIKE HELL IT'S NOTHING!" Horohoro shouted back.
Ren sat there. He was quiet except for his heavy breathing and hiccups every so often. All he could think of to do was glare at Horohoro. They sat in silence for a few minutes, Horohoro's breath coming quick as well, now as they sat and stared at each other.
Finally Horohoro took a deep breath, and his expression calmed.
"Ren..." He started, softly now. More concerned. "Whatever it is that can make YOU, of ALL people cry out like that and bring tears to your eyes ... has got to be pretty damned horrible. Now...stop pushing someone who's actually WORRIED about you away, and tell me what happened... please?"
Ren was taken aback. The concern and worry that was written over Horohoro's expression and weaved within his words struck something inside him. His eyes grew wide and he took in a quick breath.
"Horohoro... I--"
He averted his gaze, and chose to stare at the floor in front of the closet now. What could he say to that? The way Horohoro had looked at him... he couldn't just roughly push THAT away... no matter how cold and arrogant he could make himself be. He just couldn't push away that kind of concern. There was the sound of shifting blankets to his side.
'Going to sleep like I said? After saying that? Who's he trying to--'
A pair of arms came out of nowhere and wrapped themselves firmly around Ren's frame, pulling his head to rest gently against a warm chest. Ren's eyes grew wide again.
Ren jerked his head up to stare at Horohoro, who had gotten out of his futon and was now giving Ren something that he rarely ever received in his life: A hug.
"Horohoro... what are you--"
A finger was brought to Ren's lips.
"Shh... It's ok..."
Ren was pulled back into the embrace, his eyes still rather wide. Horohoro was whispering some soft words to him... they were all blending together now... but it was comforting. Ren felt warm... Safe. Earlier visions of his nightmare came back to him... and he relived it for a small moment... Tears stung at his eyes again... His father would be hurting his sister next! He had to warn her! He had to--
Ren didn't care anymore. Screw his mental and emotional barriers he had put up. Screw his unfeeling and uncaring self that he had forcefully made everyone to beleive was the real him. He was so SICK of living that lie.
The tears overflew and streamed down his face again as he buried his head into Horohoro's chest and just sobbed. He clutched at the other boy's shirt, clinging to him like a lifeline as he cried and let everything out. He began mumbing things out loud... about how much he hated his father and how he hated himself for being so weak and pathetic... how his father's words stung him and continued to follow him wherever he went... How he felt so terrified for his sister now, who was going back to that living Hell.
Horohoro let Ren cry, murmuring soft words of comfort to the boy every so-often. He listened to Ren mumble things... things about his family and how he hated himself. A larger realization dawned on Horohoro as he ran slow, soothing circles along Ren's back with his hands. As much as Ren tried to be brave and strong, he was really just a fragile boy underneath everything. The only reason he had been acting so stand-offish, was because he had been forced to at a young age.
'Sou-ka...' Horohoro thought.
It seemed like hours past as Ren cried himself out in Horohoro's arms. Ren continued to clutch at Horohoro, fogetting all about his vow to not show his weakness to the other boy. He sniffled as a last few sobs racked his body. Ren found that he didn't want to leave Horohoro's embrace. He felt safe there... like his nightmares were so much farther away. His father couldn't hurt him OR his sister here. Horohoro wanted sleep, however.
"Are you going to be okay now, Ren?" Horohoro asked, loosening his grasp on Ren's shoulders and yawning.
"... I think so..." Ren sniffed again, keeping his eyes downcast.
"Okay... I'm gonna go back to bed now. Try and sleep, alright?" Horohoro let his arms return to his sides as he stood up and returned to his own futon.
Ren felt cold now, and he could swear the dark shadows lurking in the corner just got larger...
"... Alright." He managed, laying back down and slowly drawing the covers over him again.
"Oyasumi Nasai..." Came the sleepy reply from across the room, before he could hear Horohoro's breathing steady out in sleep. Ren sighed and closed his eyes.
A few minutes later, they snapped open again, and a lump formed in his throat. His back throbbed and visions of his nightmare plagued his head. His sister's screams echoed in his ears...
'Pleasant thoughts!' Ren berrated himself... think of something happy... yeah...
He tried. He really did... but all thoughts kept coming back to Horohoro's warm embrace. He couldn't get his mind off of that... The warmth was but a stinging reminder on his skin now, however. The occupant of that comfort was snoring on the other side of the room now. He'd bothered Horohoro enough already tonight. He could deal with his own nightmares! Ren closed his eyes again, Tightly, and tried to think of that embrace again.
His sister screamed in his ears again and his eyes were open and staring at the sliding door again. He gulped and cursed his weakness.
He lay awake for a few more minutes. Not daring to close his eyes again, in fear of what lay within his own mind. One option kept dancing within his mind, and it became more and more appealing as time ticked on.
Cursing himself yet again, he finally listened to himself, and silently slipped out of his futon...
... And into the one next to his.
Horohoro stirred lightly as Ren slipped under the other's blanket. Ren wrapped his arms tightly around Horohoro's waist and snuggled his head into the back of the other boy's neck. He sighed, feeling somewhat better already.
"Nnnngghh.... Ren? Whazzamattah...?" Horohoro mumbled sleepily, waking up.
"You're warm." Ren replied, without really thinking.
"..huh?" Horohoro shifted. Ren loosened his embrace as Horohoro turned around to stare at the other boy blearily. "Nightmare again?"
"...Not really... can I sleep here tonight?" Ren asked quietly, refusing to look the other in the eye.
Horo was quiet for a moment.
"... Sure..." He smiled warmly down at Ren and soon, Ren was back in that wonderfully safe embrace, cuddled up against Horohoro's chest with his head tucked under the other's. Ren smiled against the skin of Horohoro's neck, arms finding their previous place around his waist again.
"Arigato..." Ren murmured, sleepily. He could already feel the nightmares drifting away into the very back of his mind.
"Sweet dreams, Ren..." Horohoro mumbled sleepily.
Soon, they were both asleep peacefully.
Ren's nightmare never came back.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ End Ch.2
"I TOLD YOU SO!!!!" *dances*
Yeah... uhh.. this is where I tend to get worried... ^^;; How is everyone gonna take my new Ren-Ren?? *scared*
Better get used to 'im folks. He's gonna be like this throughout the rest of the fic! Very Uke and VERY VERY un-Ren-like... XD
So... yah. He also has really horrible nightmares... and he's abused horribly by his father back at home. (NOT sexually, you pervs. P Just emotionally, physically, and verbally...) His father's always humiliating him, and Ren strives to be better and prove to his father that he CAN do things right, and he CAN be what his father wants him to be... it's just he has a really rough time doing so... ^^;; This is where Ren gets his arrogance at the beginning of this fic... and is also the reason he becomes such a weak and fragile being later on. I have this rather large theory that Ren is really an innocent boy underneath all that arrogance. It's just a guise for him.
.... uhh.. yah. o.o;; you can shoot me for rambling now.
They uhh... all have new character designs too. Once I get my drawings of them scanned in, I can show you guys their new clothing and stuff... *has been doing so much design work on this series, it IS NOT FUNNY.* But for the most part, all their hair is longer. Ren's especially. (He's got this little ponytail thing goin' on... you'll see when I get scans.)
HOPE YOU LIKEY! *beams*
And as always: R&R!!!!!
Yes... now is when all OOC worries come to their full peak... eheh.... Just as a fair warning. I WILL say "I told you so!"... Ren is EXTREMELY OOC starting NOW! Not really OOC for this particular fic, but for the anime... YES.
A full ramble on Ren lays at the end of this fic. READ AND FIND OUT. P
HOROREN FLUFF BEGINS NOW TOO!! XD Bwaha..!
Oh, and since I forgot it in the last two chapters....
DISCLAIMER!: I DO NOT OWN these characters! They belong to Hiroyuki Takei. I'm just borrowing the characters for my own twisted and impure satisfaction! MWAHAHAHA--- *gets hit with brick*... X_x;;
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Find Yourself a Back Door
Ch. 2 : Lingering Shadows
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As soon as Horohoro had arrived back at his dorm, he had called his parents immediately. After much pleading and careful negotiation, they had begrudgingly agreed to let their son stay in Tokyo. That is, untill they needed him to come back, for whatever reason.
Horohoro had hung up cheerfully and shouted "YATTA!!"
Arrangements had soon been made, and Horohoro would be moving into the Asakura residence the next day, along with Ren. Ren's sister, Jun, had decided to go back home to China. She would tell their parents about Ren's descision to stay in Tokyo and had sounded rather grim about it, as if she knew that his parents would be furious. Ren had shrugged it off with his usual arrogance, but there was a slight note of... something in his voice as he continued to talk to her. Perhaps it was dread...?
Ren had bid his sister farewell, and Jun had left him at the Asakura house to go and gather her own things for the plane flight to China.
They had both quickly settled in, with much help from Yoh and Manta. Manta had been offered to stay, but his parents wouldn't have allowed it. Plus there was the fact that he'd be moving away in a few months to get settled at the college he would be attending. He had promised to come visit as often as possible, however. Yoh had been one of his first friends out there, and he was eternally grateful to the boy.
After everything was set up, Anna had sternly told them that they weren't getting away without doing at least SOME of the housework (They'd be living here, after all...). A list of chores had been decided upon, and each would take turns doing a certain task. Ren looked quite put off by this, but Horohoro accepted the responsibility readily. Untill he got a job to pay off his stay, this was more than adequate means of earning his keep. Anna was pleased, and soon it was time for their first night sleep in their new home.
Yoh had explained earlier, that not all the rooms had been cleaned out just yet, so Horohoro and Ren would be sharing a room for a while untill they had a chance to get another room open. The two had agreed (Somewhat against Ren's will, but he'd put up with it.), and they had soon set up their room. Ren was on the side closest to the sliding door, and Horohoro was closer to the small window on the other side. They had a closet, which was empty at the moment, and their stuff had been piled against the back wall. Two futons had been laid out on each's side. The light had been turned out, and it was time for them to sleep.
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'click!'
Ren hit the light switch, and the small room was suddenly bathed in pale moonlight from the window. Dark shadows lurked in the corners, and amongst the boxes piled up against the back wall. Ren shivered lightly, before berrating himself and settling down into his own futon. Horohoro had been asleep when Ren had come in from brushing his teeth. The boy was now curled up on the other side of the room, under his own futon, snoring lightly.
Ren lay there for a while, staring blankly at the wall, his back to Horohoro. New surroundings... not anything he was used to. This night would be rough on him. The nightmares would come for him, he was sure. His sister wasn't here either... all means of comfort was far away from him right now. He'd have to try to be strong tonight... but he was very unsure of himself. Rememberances of his old, horrific nightmares came back to him breifly, and he shuddered, wrapping his arms lightly across his chest. He bit his lip. He would NOT show weakness around that IDIOT. He shut his eyes tightly and tried to concentrate on something pleasant.
Soon, his breathing steadied, and he fell into a rather fitful sleep... He was blessed with a peaceful mind for a few blissful hours, before a nightmare finally assaulted his dream-world...
--~~~* /Yume\ *~~~--
The blankness he felt soon gave way to darkness. His body was made aware of where it was, and the floating sensation he had previously experienced gave way to the feeling he was falling... falling... falling... down and down into the eternal pit his mind had conjured up for him.
Back in the small room, his body jerked as he finally hit the bottom of the pit in his mind. His eyes were closed tight, and a light sweat had formed across his face. His fists were clenched, and his mouth lay open, breathing becoming a bit more ragged.
The terror in his chest began to build. In his dream, the landing had been soft, but not without shaking him slightly. He was familliar with this dream... it was one of his worst ones, and he had a vague idea of what would happen next...
Flames alit from either side of him. He lay still, staring out of the corner of his eye at them and watched as they flickered. There was no liveliness in the way the flames danced, just bleakness. He gulped.
There was a pounding in the background. Steady and unwavering. He found his body acting on it's own as he stood up, facing the direction of the pounding.
The beat continued... growing louder and louder... closer and closer. Ren found his breathing coming more and more harshly now, his fists clenching and unclenching.
Finally, the hideous pounding reached it's crescendo. One final note was struck, and another flame lit, revealing at last... Ren's father.
Ren's teeth ground together as he glared up at the man towering above him. The fear in the pit of his stomach grew tenfold at his father's presence.
"Is that any way to look at your father... Ren?" His father's voice was mocking. Loud and encompassing... holding plenty of authority.
Ren stayed silent, his glare never wavering. He would be strong this time. Dream or no, he would come out victorious! He'd show his father! The fear welling up inside of him, however was trying to prove otherwise...
His father wasn't phased in the least. "You should have come back home..." His voice was considerably more angry now. "Have you no respect for your family?"
Ren felt some anger come out of him at these words, though the terror never left. "I finished school. Passed with some of the best grades amongst the students. I've done everything you asked of me. What more could you possibly want?!" He snapped out harshly.
His father's gaze grew more intense now "That attitude of yours needs to be fixed... You have... obligations here. Your sister was wise in leaving you, but she should have at least brought you home. You're too much of a disgrace to this family to be out there on your own."
Ren's stomach sunk further at these words. The words of his father always managed to break through all his mental and emoional barriers and sting like Hell. He felt them shatter now, and his spirit fell. He tried to retaliate. "I can manage on my own!!! I'll show you! I can become so much more than you expect! I'll PROVE to you that I'm not a disgrace!" He shouted, trying to regain some of his lost composure, though this task seemed somewhat impossible.
The man turned, figure illuminated eerily by the flames. "You'll always be a disgrace. No matter what you do, my opinion will not change of you..." The large flame which had lit up Ren's father went out suddenly. Darkness decended upon Ren and his vision. His breath hitched painfully in his throat, as fear made his entire body go numb. His breath was coming in irregular pants now, as he strained to get enough oxygen into his body. His Father's voice floated out for one last stinging remark.
"Your sister was always weaker than you... maybe SHE could be made into what you will never succeed in being...?"
All of Ren's fear and dread flared up instantly into anger.
"LEAVE NEE-SAN ALONE YOU BASTARD!!" He screamed. Earlier arrogance coming back to him in a small fit of rage.
His father laughed; the sound came from all around him... floating in and out of his ears. Such an evil sound...
The flames went out all at once. He couldn't see anything anymore... and the laughing didn't stop. Ren's anger was sucked out of him suddenly. Fear took over his mind and body and he refused to move. He felt all his mental barriers begin to weaken and cave in as the laughter danced all around him... it grew further away... and then came from directly in front of him. He didn't move, didn't breathe... Frozen in place. He whimpered... afraid.
Self-doubt began to seep into his mind, tearing at his thoughts. Maybe he was a disgrace... what if he never COULD prove himself... Could he really do anything right? Thousands of searing questions assaulted him, and he felt a painful lump grow in his throat, making it hard to breathe. He gulped. No... He HAD to be right... he HAD to show his father... no matter how painful it would be, he had to prove that he could do things correctly... or else... his sister--
A horrified scream ripped through the darkness, blocking out his father's laughter. His eyes grew wide, and he choked on his next words.
"N-nee-san...!"
He struggled now. Tried to move. He tried as hard as he could to just step forward, but he couldn't! Something was holding him back. He looked down at his body, but saw nothing but empty air. The darkness had claimed his body, rendered him immobile as he listened to his father's hideous cackling and his sister's terrified screams. He struggled again and again, panic overtaking him.
"LET ME GO! NEE-SAN!!" He screamed desperately, focusing as hard as he could on just getting out of the darkness's grasp. It's hold was too great, however. He could feel it grasping at him... clawing down his back and the curving ying-yang tatoo burned there... along the many scars that had been inflicted upon him under his father's abuse.
Loud 'SLAP!''s and 'CRACK!''s were heard in the distance; his sister screaming after each one. Ren gasped in pain. What was that?!
Another 'CRACK!' resounded in the dark, and a stinging ran up and along his spine. His sister screamed again. 'CRACK!'. It happened again, only the stinging came from a different location this time. Ren tried to cry out, but the darkness had claimed his voice now as well. His sister screamed in his place, however, as more blows were dealt by the invisible whip. It continued over and over... endlessly for what seemed like hours... Ren had given up on moving... it hurt too much.
But this was a dream. It shoudn't hurt.
A dream... Ren gasped as another blow struck him. This was... a dream... Why couldn't he wake up?!
'Wake up!' Ren told himself, desperate to get out of this Hell. 'Just wake up!!' Another crack and scream. 'WAKE UP, DAMMIT!'
"But I won't let you get away that easily, Ren..." His Father...
Ren couldn't hold it anymore. Despite everything... despite the vain attempt to remain strong, he couldn't hold it in anymore. Tears began slipping past his eyelashes, dripping down his face. This was so humiliating!
His father's jeering words echoed around in his head... "Worthless!" "Pathetic!" "Disgrace!" "Horrible!" "Unworthy!" "Weakling!" They danced... mingling in amongst his own self doubt and his sister's screams.
'Dammit...!' Ren sobbed. He felt so helpless... he hated this!
One last 'CRACK!' and scream, and suddenly everything grew silent. Previous noises echoed across his mind in the sudden silence. The only noise to be heard, however, was the pounding of his own heart, and his silent gasps for breath amongst his staggered sobs.
A flame alit, revealing his father again. Calm and collected with that godawful smirk on his face. He looked down at Ren, satisfied with his work for the night in breaking his son down. He admired his handiwork, as Ren stood there, still grasped and held up by claws of darkness. "Hmm..." His father began, eyes narrowing as he stared at his son sternly. "You'll never amount to anything. You're a pathetic child who will never be worthy of your family name."
Ren choked. He tried to say something, but darkness still held onto his throat and made it painful to breathe. He wheezed as he stood there, tears still streaming down his face, blurring the image of his father.
The flame went out and the darkness let go of him all at once. Ren was plunged into darkness once again. Without the support, he fell down, but instead of slamming into the ground, he found himself falling down that endless pit again. Fear gripped at his stomach again, and he found his voice now.
"FATHER!!!" He screamed as he fell further and further down into the darkness, screaming now. Terrified.
One more word was said by his father.
"Pathetic."
It rang throughout his mind as he fell. Rang over and over.
He screamed.
--~~~* \Yume/ *~~~--
Ren jerked awake with the last note of his screaming ringing throughout the room and the entire house. He sat up, breathing heavily and completely immersed in a fine sheet of cold sweat. He brought a hand tentatively to his cheek. Wet. He was still crying.
"Dammit." He muttered.
He threw the covers off him and hugged his knees to his chest, rocking back and forth, burying his face into his arms. He allowed himself to sob quietly there. He REALLY hoped no one had heard that scream...
The sound of a shifting body and a loud groan beside him nixed that hope, however.
Ren shuddered and turned quickly so his back was facing his rousing roomate. He scrubbed vainly at his eyes to dry them. Dammit. The LAST thing he needed was some mocking comment made by that IDIOT about him crying!
"Ren...?" The sleepy voice came from behind him. "Whazzamatter? Why'd you scream?"
"Go back to sleep." Ren snapped, although his voice cracked and gave him away. Dammit, dammit, dammit!
There was a pause.
"... Are you... crying?"
Ren growled, though this was slightly hindered by the hiccuping that had started because of his lack of air. He whirled around, angry now. "YES I'm CRYING!" He snapped again, voice gaining a little strength now. He glared at Horohoro and awaited the jeering and mocking comments that he knew would be coming.
They didn't though.
Horohoro looked rather taken aback. "What HAPPENED? You look like Hell warmed over!"
Ren shook. He didn't know whether to be grateful or angry at this. He was happy, however, that Horohoro had seemed to grow some brains and chose not to make any smart remarks.
"Nothing that you'd understand! Now, if I remember correctly, I told you to go back to sleep!" Ren semi-shouted at the other boy.
Horo wasn't about to be that easily deterred, however, and pressed further.
"Try me, Ren. What happened?" He said. A little more sternly this time.
"NOTHING!" Ren WAS shouting now. "Just leave me alone and go back to sleep!!"
"LIKE HELL IT'S NOTHING!" Horohoro shouted back.
Ren sat there. He was quiet except for his heavy breathing and hiccups every so often. All he could think of to do was glare at Horohoro. They sat in silence for a few minutes, Horohoro's breath coming quick as well, now as they sat and stared at each other.
Finally Horohoro took a deep breath, and his expression calmed.
"Ren..." He started, softly now. More concerned. "Whatever it is that can make YOU, of ALL people cry out like that and bring tears to your eyes ... has got to be pretty damned horrible. Now...stop pushing someone who's actually WORRIED about you away, and tell me what happened... please?"
Ren was taken aback. The concern and worry that was written over Horohoro's expression and weaved within his words struck something inside him. His eyes grew wide and he took in a quick breath.
"Horohoro... I--"
He averted his gaze, and chose to stare at the floor in front of the closet now. What could he say to that? The way Horohoro had looked at him... he couldn't just roughly push THAT away... no matter how cold and arrogant he could make himself be. He just couldn't push away that kind of concern. There was the sound of shifting blankets to his side.
'Going to sleep like I said? After saying that? Who's he trying to--'
A pair of arms came out of nowhere and wrapped themselves firmly around Ren's frame, pulling his head to rest gently against a warm chest. Ren's eyes grew wide again.
Ren jerked his head up to stare at Horohoro, who had gotten out of his futon and was now giving Ren something that he rarely ever received in his life: A hug.
"Horohoro... what are you--"
A finger was brought to Ren's lips.
"Shh... It's ok..."
Ren was pulled back into the embrace, his eyes still rather wide. Horohoro was whispering some soft words to him... they were all blending together now... but it was comforting. Ren felt warm... Safe. Earlier visions of his nightmare came back to him... and he relived it for a small moment... Tears stung at his eyes again... His father would be hurting his sister next! He had to warn her! He had to--
Ren didn't care anymore. Screw his mental and emotional barriers he had put up. Screw his unfeeling and uncaring self that he had forcefully made everyone to beleive was the real him. He was so SICK of living that lie.
The tears overflew and streamed down his face again as he buried his head into Horohoro's chest and just sobbed. He clutched at the other boy's shirt, clinging to him like a lifeline as he cried and let everything out. He began mumbing things out loud... about how much he hated his father and how he hated himself for being so weak and pathetic... how his father's words stung him and continued to follow him wherever he went... How he felt so terrified for his sister now, who was going back to that living Hell.
Horohoro let Ren cry, murmuring soft words of comfort to the boy every so-often. He listened to Ren mumble things... things about his family and how he hated himself. A larger realization dawned on Horohoro as he ran slow, soothing circles along Ren's back with his hands. As much as Ren tried to be brave and strong, he was really just a fragile boy underneath everything. The only reason he had been acting so stand-offish, was because he had been forced to at a young age.
'Sou-ka...' Horohoro thought.
It seemed like hours past as Ren cried himself out in Horohoro's arms. Ren continued to clutch at Horohoro, fogetting all about his vow to not show his weakness to the other boy. He sniffled as a last few sobs racked his body. Ren found that he didn't want to leave Horohoro's embrace. He felt safe there... like his nightmares were so much farther away. His father couldn't hurt him OR his sister here. Horohoro wanted sleep, however.
"Are you going to be okay now, Ren?" Horohoro asked, loosening his grasp on Ren's shoulders and yawning.
"... I think so..." Ren sniffed again, keeping his eyes downcast.
"Okay... I'm gonna go back to bed now. Try and sleep, alright?" Horohoro let his arms return to his sides as he stood up and returned to his own futon.
Ren felt cold now, and he could swear the dark shadows lurking in the corner just got larger...
"... Alright." He managed, laying back down and slowly drawing the covers over him again.
"Oyasumi Nasai..." Came the sleepy reply from across the room, before he could hear Horohoro's breathing steady out in sleep. Ren sighed and closed his eyes.
A few minutes later, they snapped open again, and a lump formed in his throat. His back throbbed and visions of his nightmare plagued his head. His sister's screams echoed in his ears...
'Pleasant thoughts!' Ren berrated himself... think of something happy... yeah...
He tried. He really did... but all thoughts kept coming back to Horohoro's warm embrace. He couldn't get his mind off of that... The warmth was but a stinging reminder on his skin now, however. The occupant of that comfort was snoring on the other side of the room now. He'd bothered Horohoro enough already tonight. He could deal with his own nightmares! Ren closed his eyes again, Tightly, and tried to think of that embrace again.
His sister screamed in his ears again and his eyes were open and staring at the sliding door again. He gulped and cursed his weakness.
He lay awake for a few more minutes. Not daring to close his eyes again, in fear of what lay within his own mind. One option kept dancing within his mind, and it became more and more appealing as time ticked on.
Cursing himself yet again, he finally listened to himself, and silently slipped out of his futon...
... And into the one next to his.
Horohoro stirred lightly as Ren slipped under the other's blanket. Ren wrapped his arms tightly around Horohoro's waist and snuggled his head into the back of the other boy's neck. He sighed, feeling somewhat better already.
"Nnnngghh.... Ren? Whazzamattah...?" Horohoro mumbled sleepily, waking up.
"You're warm." Ren replied, without really thinking.
"..huh?" Horohoro shifted. Ren loosened his embrace as Horohoro turned around to stare at the other boy blearily. "Nightmare again?"
"...Not really... can I sleep here tonight?" Ren asked quietly, refusing to look the other in the eye.
Horo was quiet for a moment.
"... Sure..." He smiled warmly down at Ren and soon, Ren was back in that wonderfully safe embrace, cuddled up against Horohoro's chest with his head tucked under the other's. Ren smiled against the skin of Horohoro's neck, arms finding their previous place around his waist again.
"Arigato..." Ren murmured, sleepily. He could already feel the nightmares drifting away into the very back of his mind.
"Sweet dreams, Ren..." Horohoro mumbled sleepily.
Soon, they were both asleep peacefully.
Ren's nightmare never came back.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ End Ch.2
"I TOLD YOU SO!!!!" *dances*
Yeah... uhh.. this is where I tend to get worried... ^^;; How is everyone gonna take my new Ren-Ren?? *scared*
Better get used to 'im folks. He's gonna be like this throughout the rest of the fic! Very Uke and VERY VERY un-Ren-like... XD
So... yah. He also has really horrible nightmares... and he's abused horribly by his father back at home. (NOT sexually, you pervs. P Just emotionally, physically, and verbally...) His father's always humiliating him, and Ren strives to be better and prove to his father that he CAN do things right, and he CAN be what his father wants him to be... it's just he has a really rough time doing so... ^^;; This is where Ren gets his arrogance at the beginning of this fic... and is also the reason he becomes such a weak and fragile being later on. I have this rather large theory that Ren is really an innocent boy underneath all that arrogance. It's just a guise for him.
.... uhh.. yah. o.o;; you can shoot me for rambling now.
They uhh... all have new character designs too. Once I get my drawings of them scanned in, I can show you guys their new clothing and stuff... *has been doing so much design work on this series, it IS NOT FUNNY.* But for the most part, all their hair is longer. Ren's especially. (He's got this little ponytail thing goin' on... you'll see when I get scans.)
HOPE YOU LIKEY! *beams*
And as always: R&R!!!!!