As usual I do not own Final Fantasy 7 or any of the characters within, Squaresoft does.
For anyone reading, don't worry, everyone is at the Gold Saucer, the Turks, Rufus, the lot, and they will appear when they are needed.
Barret stood at the door to Aeris's room, looking through the key hole, manic humping sounds were emanating from within.
"Yuffie, maybe, but Aeris I'd never have guessed, I was a damn foo'" Barret said to Red XIII, who was standing next to him.
"Can I have a look now?" Red asked.
Barret stepped back from the door, to let Red look in the keyhole. Red jumped up and balanced himself against the doorframe.
"Holy shit!" He said "You weren't joking, they're at it like rabbits!"
***
Cloud was walking along with Tifa, holding hands, he was so glad that everything was working out between them. As they rounded a corner they saw something extremely evil sitting on the floor in front of them.
It was a chibi, and not any chibi, it was a chibi that looked like Reno.
"What the hell is that ? " Tifa screamed
"Me chibi, master send me with this" The chibi said in a squeaky voice as it pulled a huge syringe from a pocket.
"What master?" asked Cloud "Sephiroth?"
A huge flash of light announced the arrival of the Author.
Author: I'm his master.
"You're a sick bastard!" said Tifa " How could you create something so" Tifa trailed off as she was lost for words.
Author: Here's the deal Cloud. In this chibi's syringe is a virus, the virus is called Y.A.O.I, you can probably guess what it does.
"You wouldn't" said Cloud in a menacing tone.
Author: Either you say the magic word, or be hunted my chibi minion here until it injects you with the virus and bad thing begin to happen.
"Magic word?" said Cloud "You mean please?"
Author: No, you know what I mean.
"I will not" A nasty look came over Clouds face "Say that word"
Author: Have it your way then, chibi, get him.
The Reno chibi leaped towards Cloud and began to chase him away, muttering to itself.
"You bastard " Said Tifa "We were going to get it on tonight"
Author: Exactly, you two are a common couple in fanfiction so we couldn't let you do it.
***
Cait Sith stood in his room, playing with an action man figure. He was doing it to distract himself from the fact that he never gets paired with anyone in any fanfics. All of a sudden Tifa burst into his room.
"Oh, hi Tifa, what you doing here?" He asked.
"Not sure" she said in a dazed voice.
"Right" He thought she'd totally lost it and gone crazy.
"Oh yeah I remember now, the author just said to tell you to be at the battle square at midnight."
"Why?" he asked.
"How the hell am I supposed to know?" she replied.
***
Cloud ran faster than he had ever ran before, he didn't want to do yaoi in this fic and that chibi behind him was scaring the shit out of him. He could hear it babbling behind him, it was muttering something about frogs.
He could see a door ahead, Aeris's hotel room door. He pushed past Red XIII and Barret, leaving them with shocked expressions on their faces.
He pulled the door open and ran inside, the chibi half following him in and its arm getting stuck in the door as he slammed it shut.
Suddenly he heard a voice from behind him.
"Cloud, what are you doing?!" asked Aeris
Cloud answered, not taking his eyes off the chibi arm stuck in the door as it twitched.
"I was being chased by this evil Reno chibi, so I ran in here to get away."
Satisfied that the chibi wasn't going anywhere, he turned to look at Aeris, and almost fell over with shock.
There in bed with Aeris was Yuffie, they were both naked and breathing hard. Cloud's eyes widened.
"Um.ahh." he managed to say.
***
Hello author here, please R&R this and I will think up more crazy stuff.