(see chapter one for more detail)
Dawn arrived home and headed straight for Buffy's bedroom. She cracked open the door and peek in. She saw a huge pile of clothes on the bed and Buffy standing in front of the mirror playing with her hair.
"A-ha!" Dawn exclaimed as she threw the door open. "You want to look good for Spike tonight 'cause you want him!"
Buffy turned and glared at her younger sister. "I don't want him… well, maybe, this isn't a date! Just a friendly gathering of two people… or one persona nd a vampire… who haven't talked in a few months and need to catch up. Purely platonic. Nothing more." Buffy sat down on the edge of the bed to slip on her black strappy heels to match her black strappy dress.
"Are you trying to convince me or yourself? Because if you're trying to convince me, then you're doing a terrible job." Dawn giggled as she watched her sister primp her hair.
"So what did you two talk about?" Buffy tried to change the subject.
"He told me what he did all summer and he gave me this African necklace and this really cool box… I'll show it to you later. He'll explain everything to you. Just.. give him a chance, okay? Don't stake him." Dawn replied.
"I am giving him a chance. That's what tonight is." She stated.
Minutes later, Buffy was on her way to the Bronze. She entered and immediately recognized the music form the stage. Michelle Branch was playing tonight. She thought back to the night she and Spike has kissed under the stairs and secretly hoped that tonight would turn out that good, if not better.
She sat down an empty table and searched around for Spike. After a few minutes she thought he might have ditched her, but she quickly dismissed the idea. "After all, this was his idea." Suddenly she saw a flash of blonde and noticed that Spike had entered the club. They made eye contact from across the room and as he crossed the dance floor he never looked away.
"Buffy." He greeted and sat down across from her.
"Spike." She returned.
"Uh, can I get you a drink?"
"Sure. A, uh, Shirley Temple. Thanks."
Spike ordered the drinks and when the waitress brought them to the table, they both murmured polite thanks. After a few minutes of uneasy silence, Spike spoke up.
"I heard about Tara and Willow. How are you?"
"I'm… I'm okay. I'm dealing. I miss Tara, though. She was easy to talk to. She was a good person. And Dawn's doing good, too. She patrols with me now. But… it's not the same without you." She looked up to meet his gaze. "Where were you, Spike?"
"Africa, pet. I went to Africa." He waited for a reaction, but she motioned for him to continue. "I needed to find myself. I needed to sort things out. I was in a bad place and I needed to get away from things."
She nodded in understanding. "I get that."
"I brought you something. Close your eyes." He was surprised when she did close her eyes, and even more surprised when he took her hand and she didn't flinch. He took the bracelet from his pocket and placed it in her palm. "Okay, open up."
She slowly opened her eyes, sad at the loss of contact when he pulled away. It just felt to good to feel him again. She looked down at the gift in her hands and gasped. "Wow. It's so beautiful. What, what is it?"
"Well, luv, it's a bracelet. See, you wear it on your wrist…"
She playfully hit him on the arm. "I know that. Now tell me what it means." She giggled and he smiled back.
"The charms are ankhs. The ankh is an Ancient Egyptian Hieroglyphic that means life. Since you've died twice, its kind of like you've had three lives…" he trailed off telling himself that it was a stupid gift.
"Thank you." She said quietly. "It's very thoughtful. Uh, can you… put it on my wrist?"
She extended her arm and he gently clasped the jewelry around her wrist. She thanked him again. There was another span of silence, but slightly more comfortable than the last one. Buffy was willing herself to speak, but her mouth just didn't seem to move. Finally, it did.
"I forgive you." This surprised him, but she continued. "I know we should talk things over, but there's really nothing to talk about. Last year was full of mistakes. Both of us screwed up. I treated you just as bad as you treated me, and things just kind of came to a climax in the bathroom. But, I think we should make a fresh start. Starting now. Can we be friends? Can we forget last year?"
"That sounds wonderful, pet." Spike couldn't keep the smile off of his face.
I cannot help it, couldn't stop it if I tried. The same old heartbeat fills the emptiness I have inside. And I've heard that you can't fight love, so I won't complain.
"You know, Spike, we did a lot of things last year but we never danced." Buffy looked longingly to the dance floor. "You game?"
"I'm always game, Goldilocks." He took her hand and pulled her to the center of the dance floor. She put her arms around his neck and he put his around her waist. They fit perfectly together.
'Cause when there's you, I feel whole. And there's no better feeling in the world. And without you, I'm alone. And I'd rather be in love… with you.
"I have to tell you something, but I don't want you to take it the wrong way." Buffy whispered.
Turn out the lights now, to see is to believe. I just want you near me. I just want you here with me. And I'd give up everything only for you. It's the least that I could do.
"You can tell me anything, Buffy." Spike replied. His grip around her waist was loose. He didn't want to hold her too tight because, honestly, he was afraid to touch her.
'Cause when there's you, I feel whole. And there's no better feeling in the world. And without you, I'm alone. And I'd rather be in love... with you.
"I love you." She said. His grip tightened around her, but only be mere centimeters. He looked down at her questioningly and she rushed to explain.
And I feel you holding me. Why are we afraid to be in love? To be loved. I can't explain. I know its tough to be loved. And I feel you holding me.
"As a friend. I love you as a friend. I can talk to you and you understand me better than anyone. And when you left it was horrible. I felt like a piece of me was missing." She rested her head on his shoulder. "Please don't ever leave again."
And where there's you, I feel whole. And there's no better feeling in the world. And without you, I'm alone.
He expected to feel disappointed, but this might have been the happiest moment of his entire existence. Even if it was a platonic love, Buffy still loved him. It was more than he could ever hope for.
And I'd rather be in love.
"But… you love me?" he asked again.
Yes I'd rather be in love.
"Yes, Spike, I love you."
Oh, I'd rather be in love with you.
"I love you too, Buffy."