TITLE: Lie to Me
AUTHOR: Pilla Jeffrey
EMAIL: mah219@yahoo.com
CATEGORY: Missing Scene/Epilogue, Drama, Angst
PAIRING: mild hints of Xander/Anya, Willow/Tara, and based on the Buffy/Angelness of "Becoming".  Mainly Scooby Friendship.
SPOILERS: "Selfless", "Becoming", "Passion", "Seeing Red", "Two to Go", "Grave"

SEASON/SEQUEL:  Season 7
RATING: PG
CONTENT WARNINGS: language
SUMMARY: Post "Selfless".  The lie that changed their destinies is finally discovered.
STATUS: Work In Progress
ARCHIVE: Fanfiction.net, anywhere else, ask.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  If I did, I can guarantee you that:  Spike would not be some Angel copy; Angel and Buffy would be together; and all my favorite semi-regulars would be alive (Jenny, Joyce, Tara).  But since I'm not Joss Whedon, we can effectively say I don't have anything to do with owning Buffy or making any money off this product.  All original characters and ideas are mine, though, so don't archive without my permission!
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Was I the only one whose skin crawled when you heard Xander lie about Willow's message to Buffy in "Becoming"?  I was so upset that no one except Xander ever knew…until "Selfless" aired.  Now Willow knows, but Buffy doesn't?  This is my attempt to get Buffy into the loop, while fitting in Willow's betrayal and Xander's guilt.  Angsty, I know, but I think that it needed to happen eventually.  Enjoy!

Chapter One:  Willow

            Willow looked at the spot where D'Hoffryn had stood.  She had finally convinced him to intervene, but at great risk to her own mental and magical strength.  How many times did she have to be reminded of what she had done?  Obviously she damn well didn't want to be told what a great vengeance demon she'd make.

            This whole situation had her blood boiling.  First finding that dorm full of dead boys and then finding out that Xander had lied about her message to Buffy that fateful day years ago.  She couldn't—she wouldn't take it anymore.

            Her first instinct was to cry.  That's what Willow did, right?  Cry.  But there was still that passionate anger, that dark power, lingering in her veins, threatening to overwhelm her.  And for an instant, she let it.  She felt this torrent of ire, and needed to let it out.  She couldn't stop it.

            Before she knew it, she was standing in front of Xander's apartment, banging on the door.  Finally the door swung open reluctantly, causing her fist almost to slip and come into contact with Xander's face.  The sight of him made her wish her fist hadn't missed.

            "How could you?  How could you tell her that, Xander?!"  Willow, after stepping on eggshells with her friends for the past few weeks, exploded.  "How could you not tell her I was going to restore Angel's soul?"

            Xander looked at her, his features old and heavy with pain.  "Willow, I don't want to talk about this now."  His fingers curled over the edge of the door and he slowly began to close it.  Willow pushed the door open and walked inside his apartment.

            "You'd better want to talk about this now.  How could you tell her that I said 'Kick his ass'?  We could have saved Angel from a hundred years in Hell if you could have told the damn truth and not put words in my mouth!"

            His eyes flashed.  "Willow, I don't want to talk about this now.  I am sick and tired of everyone trying to tell me what to do and that I don't know right from wrong.  Angel, evil vampire who killed Miss Calendar, deserved it.  He deserved whatever he got when that hunk of stone sucked him up.  I never liked Angel and will never like Angel.  He's the very thing that we are supposed to get rid of."

            "Yeah, and Anyanka, vengeance demon and mass-murder, deserves life?!"  Willow spat out hotly.  "What the hell are you trying to prove, Alexander Harris?  That you're some god who can run our future?  Well, guess what?  You don't know what's best for all of us.  Maybe if you didn't meddle so much, this world would be a better place!"

            "If I didn't meddle, there'd be no world, would there Willow?  You would have destroyed it."  Xander shouted, instantly regretting the words that passed from his lips.  "I didn't mean that."

            "The hell you didn't."  Willow's eyes darkened, the harshness outlined by a rim of tears.  "You think that I don't know that I deserve a thousand years of pain for what I did?  It was hard, cruel, and malicious.  But at least it was justified.  She murdered twenty boys in cold blood."

            "Justified?  Killing is never justified, not even for you, Willow."  Xander's voice had a harsh edge to it.

            "You cannot pass judgment on me!  You don't know how it feels to lose the person you love the most in the entire world."  Willow's anger was the only thing that stopped her from breaking down into tears.

            "I think I do.  Because, hey, Buffy practically killed her tonight.  And at least Anya was willing to sacrifice herself to bring those boys back to life.  That's more than what you did for Warren.  His body is still bloody and skinless six feet un—" He broke off the verbal onslaught, seeing Willow's tears.  He walked toward her, enveloping her in a hug.  "I'm so sorry, Willow," he whispered, pulling her closer.  "I know you regret what you did.  I know that you miss Tara.  I miss her, too.  And I'm sorry for not telling Buffy about restoring Angel's soul.  I was rash, angry and—"

            "Stupid.  You're so stupid.  I'm so stupid.  Life's so stupid.  There's no point, is there?  Whether we're sent to Hell at age 200 or killed by a bullet at 22 it doesn't matter."  She sniffled, trying to stop her crying, but couldn't.  "I wanted to help Buffy so much…she loved him, and I wanted to give him back to her.  Why couldn't you just give your best friend one moment of happiness?  S-she….they could have…."

            "Shh," he murmured, smoothing her hair.  "I'm sorry, Willow.  I should've told Buffy.  I will tell Buffy."  He pulled back, looking into Willow's eyes.  "It's okay, Wills, it's okay."

            Willow gave him a hollow look, her pain finally wearing away any anger she previously felt.  "It's never okay," she whispered, bitter, yet distant.  "Xander, promise me, not matter what, we will always be best friends.  Me, you, and Buffy.  Forever," Willow sniffled, trying to regain composure.  "I can't lose you guys.  I need you."

            Xander was shocked.  Willow had steadily, ever since sophomore year when Buffy came and changed everything, evolved into a confident individual.  She'd hidden herself, her true fretful nature, under personal guards placed after Oz left and a ton of magick that brought her spiral into darkness.  Suddenly, it was like seeing vulnerable Willow again, behind the magicks.  It was a comforting sight to see.

            "We'll always be here," he assured her, hugging her firmly once more, then letting go.  "No matter what."

            Willow smiled, content in that answer.  "I'll see you tomorrow, alright, Xander?"

            "Yeah," he whispered as she left, closing his apartment door behind her.  Now he just had to keep his promise and tell Buffy about Angel.

Thanks for reading!  Please review! ;)

Next Chapter:  Xander Tells Buffy…