Tell me how much you love me. I am sorry for the delay, but life sucks. Leave me your email, and I might tell you why. PS, getting tons of reviews per chapter so… if you have questions you want detailed answers to, let me know, and maybe I will email them to you. But thank you all for reviewing.
"[I] have felt darkness lead me by the hand
Over the hill to greet the singing dawn...."
Allen Tate (1899–1979). "Suicide."
Chapter 6: From The Darkness of My Soul
"Harry, I loved you," Sirius protested.
"And out of my entire life, how long did you actually spend in my presence?" Harry shouted. "Not very damn long, I can tell you that. The first time that I met you, I was 13. And the next time I actually saw you in person was at the end of that godforsaken tournament, which you left after spending maybe one conscious minute with me." Harry pushed himself out of his chair, coat billowing around him as he walked to the window. "My Lord has spent the last 3 months cultivating my powers and some days, just being present."
"He does care for the boy, Albus," Snape whispered. He walked to Harry and handed him another cloth. "Your face is bleeding again, milord," he added, sotto voce.
Harry did not turn, but held out his hand and murmured, "Thank you, Severus." Snape put the cloth in his hand and retreated to a respectful distance. A single metallic tear rolled from Harry's left eye, and it left a trail of silver down his cheek. Harry pressed the handkerchief to his face, and whispered a healing spell. Here he was with the three people who had seemed to love him most, and he could feel nothing but hatred for them and the one man that had seemed to hate him the most, and he cared for Severus enough to die for him.
Gently, his right hand went to stroke his left forearm, sadly caressing the outline of the Dark Mark that was forever etched into his skin. They could never understand the darkness in his heart, reflected on his arm… could never appreciate the choice he had to make. But Severus did. Severus already understood. How strange that his kindred soul had ceased to be the girl of his dreams and became the man associated with many of his nightmares. Silver eyes swept over Severus' dark figure, before he looked back out the window, mournfully.
Remus watched the Boy Who Lived stand there. A single touch of his skin would probably be enough to kill the lycanthrope, which was probably why he had avoided all physical contact.
"Harry, by your attendance at this meeting, can we expect any assistance from your end in our fight with Voldemort?"
Harry laughed coldly, but didn't turn from the window.
Sirius and Remus looked at one another in confusion. "What is it?" Remus asked.
"You have not heard a single word I have said, Albus. How predictable of you. I have neither the capability nor the desire to defy Voldemort. I love him as a father and believe in what he intends to do," he replied, walking to the old man's desk and pressing his finger on it for emphasis. "The Ministry is corrupt and weak, you two must agree with that," he said, turning to Remus and Sirius. "It locked one of you up in prison for 12 years and has meant a lifetime of discrimination for the other."
"What milord is meaning to say is that he is physically unable to defy Voldemort. The tattoo on his right arm is part of an elaborate spell affectionately referred to as an Obedience Mark. It causes him great pain to speak words of sedition against his Master," Snape added, as Harry stared down his previous professor.
"Harry, why have you not revealed Severus as a spy?" Remus asked.
"Would you care to answer that, my servant?" Harry asked, turning to the Potions Master before returning to the corner. "I know you are aware of the reason."
Severus nodded deferentially. "Power."
Harry smiled wickedly. "Essentially correct. Severus understands that I hold his very life in my hand. And though he has betrayed me to you on more than one occasion, I know exactly where to squeeze if he tries to stray too far. Besides, I need someone who I trust is competent enough in the Art of Potions not to poison me by accident, unlike some of the other buffoons that my Master insists on keeping around."
"Milord, he believes them loyal," Severus protested.
"Most of them are brainless, dim-witted fools who couldn't find their asses with both hands and a flashlight. And those that are not entirely inept are fanatical. Like Malfoy, Avery and Pettigrew. Or should I say Pettigrew was fanatical, before I accused him of insubordinance and had him thrown into the dungeons? He is yours if you wish it, Black. I'd really like to see what you would do with him if left in a locked room," Harry snapped, smiling at Sirius.
"Your answer is no?" Remus asked.
Harry clapped slowly and sarcastically. "Welcome to the conversation, Lupin. You're only a few minutes behind, but I'm certain that if we all shut up for a few moments, you'll catch up rather quickly."
Sirius stood up and walked over to Harry. "Harry, you don't have to respect me, but you will respect Remus."
Harry stared him down. "Oh really, Black. And exactly why should I? He abandoned me just like the rest of you. I would love for you to try and teach me respect, when I could hex you into a million pieces without my wand and kill him with a single tear," he barked, changing his posture to reflect that of a dangerous feral cat.
Remus stepped forward to take Sirius' arm. "Let it go, Padfoot."
"No. Harry, you're right. I may not have known you for very long, but this is not the Harry Potter I know. And I don't want to. You have betrayed the light, and you have allowed yourself to be Marked by that… that monster. I don't know who would want to kill you more, James or Lily."
"I am wounded by your words, especially as you are threatening me with the memories of people I never even knew. Can you not see that I am being reduced to a mass of quivering goo? I don't have time for this, Severus. I'm leaving," Harry said, walking to the doorway. He pulled open the door and it shut on its own. "Release the door, old man," he hissed, turning to face Dumbledore.
"I shall not, until I am through with you, Harry," the wizard said with cold fury, rising from his desk. Even Snape backed away, wanting to get out of the path of any stray hexes. Both wizards stared each other down, one a vision of pure white light: reason, love, order and wisdom, the other of the shadows that covered the world: dark, chaotic, passionate and intelligent. Snape knew that shadow could not exist without light, and that no one light could ever truly defeat every dark place.
"Believe me when I say that we are through with each other. We both know of Fudge's incompetence and stupidity, but only one of us is willing to rid our world of him. You may not approve of my methods, but I am right," he replied.
"There are other alternatives than bloodshed and anarchy."
"Really… and what have you been doing that has worked so well? You couldn't even protect me any more. What makes you think that you could take on Fudge?" he said, placing his back against the door. "Your powers have diminished with age, but mine increase daily. Another gift from my Master."
"Milord, please do not do this," Severus said, attempting to intercede, but Harry froze him with a single gesture.
"Stay out of this, servant!"
"Your gifts will destroy you. He made you his heir to take you off of the side of good."
Harry laughed. "Good. Evil. There exists no such concept in this world, except in the minds of the dreamers. There is only power, and those too weak to seek it," he said, echoing the words of Voldemort from his first year.
"Power can be used for either good or evil, Harry."
Harry muttered, "'Why then, 'tis none to you; for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so: to me it is a prison.'"
"You have read Hamlet. I see your education has continued."
"It has, Dumbledore. I will listen to no more of your words, for they are just that. You see, there are three parts to every change. Thought, word and action. I am a man of action, my dear Headmaster, and I will rid the world of the Ministry stooges who have stolen my life. You may sit and talk, if you so desire."
"You forget. I defeated Grindewald. If forced to, I could defeat both you and Voldemort."
Harry smiled, and moved away from the door.
"What are you smiling at, Harry?" Remus asked.
"Patience. A lesson that my Lord tried to teach me. When I was in Azkaban, I lost a great many things, like patience, innocence, hope and my real life. Lord Voldemort attempted to help me regain them. While you were talking, Dumbledore, I just broke your spell," he said, opening the door, and disappearing.
Snape stumbled forward, as the shield that held him disappeared. With a quick look at the Headmaster, he ran out the door to follow Harry.
The Headmaster looked his age for the first time in years. He sighed and closed his eyes.
"Is he right? Has his power really increased?" Sirius asked quietly.
"Severus said that he saw Harry curse 4 men under Cruciatus simultaneously to protect him from suspicion. I would say that he had increased in both wanded and wandless powers. I had hoped that Harry would be amenable to at least talking with us, but we seemed to have pushed him farther," Albus said, walking back to his desk.
"What do you mean?"
"Remus, you can sense emotions on certain people, can't you?"
"Yes. Harry was rather apathetic, because like he said, Snape pretty much dragged him here. But when he went to the window, he was in emotional pain from the memories of, well, I'd say, betrayal and the loss of our friendship. When he spoke of Voldemort, he spoke with a tone of love. And when he just spoke with you, it was anger, a bit of pleading and then triumph. He was stalling you, but he wanted you to understand. Pretty interesting that although he can't stand us anymore, he still wanted your approval."
"He has cast the Unforgivables in plain sight?" Sirius asked, changing the subject.
Albus looked up from his desk. "No. That is the one thing that can save him. He has only ever cast the Dark Mark, and the odd restraining or summoning spell in public. He chooses to curse his Death Eaters in private, and who would believe their story over his? In the mindset of the Ministry, they are both guilty," he replied. "But Severus believes that there might be a time when Harry will be called upon to kill Fudge to prove his loyalty. There are other curses that cause death besides Avada Kedavra, but it is all up to what Harry chooses."
"What about the Obedience Mark?" Remus asked. "Doesn't that prove Harry's loyalty enough?"
Albus chose that moment to shut up. He didn't want to reveal the true depth of Harry's ultimate betrayal. "I do not know what Voldemort may be thinking."
"Milord, wait!" Severus called from down the hallway.
Harry did not turn, but said, "Go away, Severus. I have no doubt that you have more to discuss with regards to the downfall of my father." He continued walking, but not changing the pace or length of his strides.
Snape caught up with him, then grabbed Harry's arm a little too roughly. Harry stopped dead in his tracks and looked from the Potions Master's hand to his servant's eyes.
"Don't touch me, Severus," he snarled. "Unless there is a potion to regrow an entire hand."
Snape dropped his hand quickly. "Milord, I must explain some things to you. Please wait a moment."
"Severus, what time is it?" he asked pedantically.
"5:30."
"And what time does my father like to talk to me every night?"
"6:00, I apologize, milord." Snape finally realized the reason for the confrontation.
"Yes. It will take me at least 15 minutes from this point to reach the Apparition barrier, and I don't want to have to run to the castle and explain why I am out of breath," he said, walking again, but turning around to talk to Severus.
A lone student was wandering the halls, hands full of books and ran straight into him. Books flew everywhere, and Harry looked down at the girl. Unkempt brown hair and beautiful eyes seemed to bore right through him.
Harry's heart melted at the sight of the first woman that he had truly loved, and the last as well. He had never had the chance to tell her, though, and it weighed on his heart from the time in Azkaban to the attack on Hogsmeade. "Hermione," he whispered. He backed up like a cornered animal.
Severus noticed his distress. "Go, milord, I will deal with her."
He turned quickly, flaring his jacket, and ran away.
Hermione recovered from the shock of being knocked to the floor. She looked up, and saw the retreating form of the Silver Serpent. "What the hell is going on?" she asked, drawing her wand. "What is there to deal with? Why is he here?"
"Be quiet, Granger. There is more going on here than you know. To the Headmasters office with you," Snape said, picking up more than one of the books. "Locator Charms: When All Else Fails, Find Them?"
"It's for Harry. It's been nearly 9 months since anyone's heard from him," she said quietly.
"I see. You definitely need to see Dumbledore."
--00--
And now thanks for reviewing.
Thanks to:
xikum, Rene994 (Stay tuned, no matter what, okay? I promise), ZetaStar, Maria, Usagi, izean, amy, universalstar87, RaistlinofMetallica, Kateri (Yes, sorta), Katy999 (hope you enjoyed your vacation), Skull Bearer ( I 'spose… your fic, anyways :P ), Anne Phoenix, me (yes, me), Rarity88, Snape coolgirl, Els-chan (interesting use of the word wow… :P), Star Mage, Kaat ShadowLover, andrea56 (I changed it just for you… he was), andrea56 again, angelhitomi, lynntownsend, Tati Suji, em (um… chuckles nervously at the tackle, but thanks for the plushies), Lady FoxFire, MostEvilKitten, me (again), rayvern, Kat Denton
By the way, Rarity88 I have a yaoi fic in the works… very dark and tragic. My friends like it… Definitely HP/SS. Actually, have two HP/SS, but unfortunately, neither is finished yet.
Next Chapter: Hermione's reaction, and back at Riddle Manor!