Twisted
By Evil_Zero
Kiyone: Please?
Author: No
Kiyone: Please?
Author: NO
Kiyone: Please…Pretty Please?
Author: NO
Kiyone: How about this…Do it and I'll delete your criminal record
Author: What Record?
Kiyone: Oh I know all about You Sasami Ryoko and Ryo-oki killing Aeka and making it look like a suicide…(has evil smile)
Author: Your lying (sweatdrop)
Kiyone: I'm not
Author: Prove it
Kiyone: Will this videotape do? (They watch the tape)
Author: ARRGGGHHH…. Let me go talk to the others first
Ryoko: She has WHAT?
Author: She has a tape proving we killed Aeka
Sasami: So what does she want?
Author: A story
Ryoko, Sasami and Ryo-oki: So WRITE it already
Author: Well here's the problem…she wants (Whispers Quietly)
All: NO WAY!!!
Kiyone: Yes way or else.
Author: Fine….Damn…Plan…ruined….Wonderful Life….trapped…
Kiyone: What was that?
Author: Errr I'm sure it will be a great story…
Kiyone: It will be….(Looks happy)
Author: Right here's what we need to do…Ryoko you (whispers quietly) OK?
Ryoko: Right (Teleports away)
Author: Now Sasami..You and Ryo-oki have to (More whispering) Right?
Sasami: Yep
Ryo-oki: Miya (they walk off)
Author: RUN (Sasami and Ryo-oki break into a dash)
Kiyone: I'm waiting…
Author: (Gulp) Members of the audience I have just been Blackmailed int..
Kiyone: Blackmailed? (Points gun at lower extremities)
Author: Ehhh Convinced to write a sequel to my story THE PERFECT GIFT…Happy now?
Kiyone: Start writing or I start posting.
Author: Gulp
The sun was shining and everyone was having a great time at the Masaki household. It had been two years now since Tenchi and Ryoko were married at the Masaki shrine by Yosho. The family had changed slightly with the Suicide of Aeka (Kiyone: Well it wasn't really a suicide now was it…Mr Author?)(Author: Stay out of this Kiyone or I won't write this story)(Kiyone: But then I'd send you to jail)(Author: I wonder were this is going)
Following the events that led to Aeka committing suicide (Kiyone: It)(Author: SHUT UP KIYONE) there had been some changes to the way Tenchi and his family lived in a slightly bigger house, The family was loaded, Ryoko and Sasami were now the universe's most wanted Space Pirates, Tenchi Masaki was now the Unofficial ruler of the Solar System and Mihoshi and that idiot Kiyone….(Kiyone: WHAT??? Gun being aimed) I mean intelligent young lady Kiyone had also become part of Ryoko and Sasami's Gang and had quit the Galaxy Police. (Author: Better?)
Of course some things never change, Sasami was still the best cook in the universe, Ryo-oki still loves carrots, Washu is still a mad inventor (Washu: And?) And still THE GREATEST SCIENTIFIC GENIUS IN THE UNIVERSE. Noboyuki was still a pervert who also owned his own "film" company now. Mihoshi was still an airhead (Kiyone: You got that right) and the Author was still god (ALL: WHAT) (Author: I'm trying to write here if you don't mind!!!)
Today though something seemed strange, Kiyone was actually happy despite Mihoshi's constant talking. This surprised everyone since Kiyone was usually the first one to be angered by Mihoshi's actions.
"Ok Kiyone, Spill what are you so happy about" asked a very grown up Sasami.
"Huh?" replied Kiyone turning around to see who had asked her. She smiled when she recognised Sasami. Of course if you were to compare Sasami now as compared to five years ago you would never believe that they were the same person. Where once a small smiley faced cheerful polite little girl would have stood there was now a highly attractive five foot eleven eighteen year old (Lookswise) goddess…Literally and figuratively.
Even the taste in clothes had changed completely. She used to love wearing long flowing dress and have her hair in bunches and pigtails but now had her hair free flowing down her back, preferred tight jeans and white T-shirts and a black leather jacket. (Sasami: HEY stop staring!!!) (Author; Sorry)
The only thing that was still the same was that she was always smiling and was still a nice person…except when on "Business". Then it was the Royal Bitch routine.
Of course Ryo-oki still sat on her head and was still Sasami's best friend.
"Why are you so happy Kiyone?" asked Sasami again.
"I just heard that Mihoshi's grandfather, The head of the Galaxy police has just had Her cleared of all charges" Replied a very happy Kiyone.
"But why is that good? Mihoshi is a great pirate and a good friend." giggled Sasami
"Yes but now she can go to the Galaxy police Headquarters and not get arrested".
"So?" replied a lost Sasami.
"It means tha…"started Kiyone.
"That she can go there and steal all the confiscated items that are held there as evidence and not have to worry about being caught" Finished Ryoko who had just appeared out of nowhere…or Tenchi's room at least.
"Oh" replied Sasami finally catching on "I get it".
"Yeah me too" shouted Mihoshi.
"Somehow I doubt that very much" sighed Kiyone.
Later that very same evening the group plotted on how best to steal all of the loot held at the GP HQ. Soon after the meeting was over everyone went off to do their own stuff, Ryoko and Tenchi went to their room to…well they are married so guess. (Kiyone: You know I would also like a little more detail on my radiating beauty put into this story) (Author: Keep Praying) (Kiyone: Videotape) (Author: Damn)
Meanwhile Sasami had went out clubbing for the evening with Ryo-oki who was in her eighteen year old humanoid form. Washu was busy creating some new….gadget (Washu: It's an inter phasin polynumeric atom destabilising can opener) (Author: Yeeaaahh…let's just call it the DCO)
Kiyone Meanwhile had snuck off with Mihoshi in tow. "Mihoshi I want you to help me play a trick on the gang"
"Okay" squealed Mihoshi right into Kiyone's ear (Kiyone: Was that really necessary) (Author: YES)
"Great but you have to keep it a secret, Okay?"
"YEP" squealed Mihoshi right into Kiyone's ear again (Kiyone: Videotape)
"Right here's what we need to do" and Kiyone whispered the whole plan into Mishohi's head hoping she wouldn't figure out the slight problem in the plan. (Author: Bitch)
The next morning Ryoko, Washu, Sasami, Ryo-oki and Tenchi woke up to find themselves sitting opposite a very giggly Mihoshi and a really pissed of author in what looked to be a prison cell.
"Okay Mihoshi what have you done this time" asked a none to happy Washu
"Hehe Kiyone and I are playing a joke on you" was all that they could get out of her though.
"Well well well if it isn't the Legendary Space pirates Ryoko and Sasami and their accomplices all nice and locked up in their new home" came a familiar voice from the other side of the bars.
"Kiyone" gasped Tenchi.
"What's going on, Why are we in a jail cell, What are you doing in a Galaxy police uniform and what's this about a joke?" growled Ryoko
"It's simple, even for you." Stated Kiyone. "I'm back with the GP and by bringing you all in for arrest I've been promoted to the top. You're in a jail cell because your prisoners, I'm in a GP uniform because its my uniform and about the joke well… It was just a way to get Mihoshi to help get you all knocked out and stuffed in here"
"You mean we're not playing a trick on them Kiyone?" asked Mihoshi
"Ha Ha Ha HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH of course not Mihoshi I tricked you into helping me arrest your friends" she managed between fit's of laughter
"Your not my friend anymore Kiyone"
"GOOD all you bring is bad luck Mihoshi"
"I'll kill you Kiyone" roared Ryoko and Sasami at once (Author: And I'll help them)
"Go ahead and try that cell is specially designed to be Ryoko Proof Sasami Proof Washu Proof Tenchi Proof and Cabbit Proof, there is no escape. Now if you'll excuse me I have to get some sleep" yawned Kiyone.
"I'm sorry guys it's all my fault" cried Mihoshi breaking into floods of tears.
"It's ok it's not your fault" said Sasami as she tried to comfort Mihoshi (Sasami: Hey I don't do that sort of thing) (Author: Relax I know…damn) (Sasami: WHAT) (Author: Nothing)
"Yeah it was Kiyone's fault not yours" said Tenchi trying to help Sasami.
"Any luck Ryoko" asked Washu
"None, I can't even scratch these damn bars" replied Ryoko while hacking away furiously at the bars with her sword
"Here let me try" said Tenchi as he too started hacking away at the bars with Tenchi-Ken, Soon Sasami and Washu joined in as well but the bars were still undamaged.
(Author: Why don't you use you DCO Washu?)(Washu: My What?)(Author: Your DCO) (Washu: My What?)(Author: fine your intert..Err..paste…popenumber…air..Eehh...whatchamacallit )
(Washu: My What?)(Author: The Damn Can Opener) (Washu: OH you mean my inter phasin polynumeric atom destabilising can opener?)(Author: yes)(Washu; and why are we talking like this?)(Author: Because I'm the author and I can't talk to people in the story)(Washu: OH…OK)
"Hey let me try my new inter phasin polynumeric atom destabilising can opener on these bars" yelled Washu
"HUH???" replied Tenchi
"It's a can opener Tenchi dear" Said Ryoko smiling
"Oh" replied Tenchi
Pulling a little white box out of subspace and aimed it at the bars before pulling the trigger. Slowly a pulsating Yellow and Green beam moved towards the bars. As soon as it hit the bars there was a blinding flash. As soon as anyone could see again despair filled the room as the bars were still in perfect condition.
"Well might as well get comfy, looks like we'll be here a while" sighed Washu leaning against the wall farthest from the bars.
Sitting down Sasami remembered something. (Sasami: hey Author) (Author: What?) ( Sasami: I got that videotape off of Kiyone like you asked) (Ryo-oki: Meow) (Sasami: And Ryo-oki helped too) ( Author: Is that the only one?) ( Sasami: Yep) ( Author: Sasami you're perfect) (Sasami: I know) (Author: Ryoko, what about you?) (Ryoko: Yep all taken care off…anyone who read the last story is dead) (Author: then it's time to change this story plot) (Kiyone: hey you can't do that) (Author: Watch me) (Kiyone: Uh Oh) (Mihoshi: You're in trouble now Kiyone) (Author: Oh yeah)
Mihoshi was busy pacing the room worrying that she had got all her friends arrested when she noticed a shiny Blue panel against the lock on the other side of the door.
Curious she placed her hand against it. "DNA SCAN COMPLETE DETECTIVE FIRST CLASS MIHOSHI….DOOR OPENING" said the computer.
"Of course" cried Washu.
"What" cried everyone else.
"It may be Ryoko Proof Sasami Proof Washu Proof Tenchi Proof and Cabbit Proof but NOTHING is Mihoshi proof"
"Lets Go" yelled Ryoko
Running through the GP HQ they headed straight for a certain room…KIYONE'S room. (Author: Paybacks a bitch) (Ryoko, Mihoshi, Washu and Sasami: And so am I)(Tenchi: how come I never get any good lines?)
Hearing alarms ringing everywhere Kiyone looked outside to see what was going on. Nope no spaceships attacking, no black holes either so what was the problem? Just as she reached her door the entire wall blew in. Coughing and groaning as she tried to get up from the rubble Kiyone hoped to god (Author; I am GOD) (Kiyone: Shit) that this was just a bad dream.
There in front of her only a few inches of the ground hovered Ryoko, energy sword in hand and that damn grin, to her left Tenchi with Tenchi-ken drawn and activated, he wasn't smiling. To her right was Mihoshi gun drawn and aimed squarely at Kiyone's head, she looks pissed thought Kiyone.
Behind Sasami stood Washu with her own energy sword drawn. Ryo-oki was at Sasami's feet hissing at Kiyone. And there in the Background almost hidden by Ryoko was that damn Author typing away at his holo laptop (Author: Thank you once again for this thing Washu) and that damn smile of his on his face.
"Payback time Kiyone" was all that Mihoshi said but that was all that was needed.
Ryoko leapt forward bringing her sword down on Kiyone's left knee as Tenchi did the same to Kiyone's right knee. Washu threw her sword into Kiyone's left ankle as Sasami punched Kiyone in the gut while Ryo-oki chewed on Kiyone's Wrist. Mihoshi fired round after round into Kiyone's face until she was out of ammo…The author even stopped typing this story long enough to give Kiyone a few good whacks over the head with the keyboard.(Author: Note to self...STOP KILLING THE CAST)
Soon all that remained of Kiyone was a blood soaked Galaxy Police badge with her name on it
"Bitch" growled Mihoshi as she ramed her heal down on the badge bending it in half.
"Time to go Kiddies" shouted Washu as she saw the Entire GP force headed towards them.
As they started to head for the hanger to escape no one noticed the small grins appearing on Ryoko and Sasami's Face's until they turned round and ran straight into the GP firing energy blasts right left and centre. One GP yelled out as Ryoko's sword cut him in half while another guard attacked Ryoko's Knuckles with his jaw….He lost that fight. Sasami was dishing out Rights and lefts all over the place as she hooked one guard then another and another.
Soon Tenchi and Washu were there also. Tenchi yelled as he stabbed on guard through the heart while Washu Spun in a circle slicing two guards open and cutting another in half. Mihoshi meanwhile fired shots into the group with amazing accuracy hitting one guard after another in the face with high explosive bullets.(Author: The author would like to mention that no people were harmed in the making of this story)(Sasami: you liar we just killed thousands) (Author: Sasami, We're the bad guys we're supposed to lie)( Sasami: OH…Ok then)
Suddenly a massive black spike shot through the roof stabbing a guard through the chest. Soon the entire gang was inside Ryo-oki and headed home. They weren't chased by any GP officers, Whether this is because there weren't any left alive or because they were too scared. (Author: Or because a certain author sabotaged all of their ships)(Sasami: Yeah you're the best author ever)(Author: YEP)
Pretty soon life was back to normal. Washu was inventing, Sasami was playing with Ryo-oki, Mihoshi was sleeping, Noboyuki was still a pervert, Tenchi and Ryoko were still at it and the Author was busy lying back finishing this story and having a beer (Ryoko: It's Sake)(Author: Sorry…Hey Your supposed to be...You know…Ahem Busy)(Ryoko: [Huge Grin] Oh yeah..Bye…Eh one favour?)(Author: [places Do Not Disturb Sign on Tenchi's door] No Problem)
Yep things were back to normal. Author types something on keyboard and grins.
"WHAT THE HELL??? AUTHOR STOP DELETING MY CLOTHES" yells Sasami as she stalks over to the Author…completely naked. Slowly a small grin spreads across her face "Unless…"
The remainder of the story has been hidden because the material is to mature for young children…
Disxlaimer: I don't own Tenchi Muyo or anything that is from Tenchi muyo. no law suits.