It's strange but I remember my parents fighting a few months before they died. I was six and I had snuck out of my bed to see what actually went on while I was supposed to be asleep. I remember peeking my head around the wall to the staircase and hearing their shouts from the kitchen. I don't know what they were saying, but I remember how their voices sounded. They were harsh and pained. And I remember how I felt. It was like everything I thought about them was stripped. They weren't perfect. They weren't always happy. They were real, and for me at that time, it was painful to see them that way. I haven't felt that way in a long time. Until now. And now is even worse because I never knew Clark to begin with. So now I've seen him in this completely new and extremely personal for that matter, light and I don't even know him.

I turn my body over to face the other wall. The numbers of my clock shines a red light on my face in my dark room. I've been doing this for almost 2 hours. Just laying here, tossing back and forth. Nell will be getting home from closing up at the shop any minute. And she's going to be furious at me.

I never went back to the shop. I stayed in Clark's kitchen for a few minutes longer, until I realized that I was in fact in his kitchen, without him there. I quickly left and drove back to the shop. But when I parked the car I knew I wouldn't be able to stay there. I wouldn't be able to sit in that shop with everything that was going on. At first I thought it would be nice to have some familiarity but as I walked towards the back door I discovered that it wasn't familiar anymore. Nothing seemed to be. I felt like I was in the middle of a bad dream. Did that really just happen? What really just happened?

I quickly sit up straight and realize I need to know. I look over at the clock once more and see that it's only 8:15. I jump off my bed, grabbing my jacket and bag all at the same time and run out the door. I hurry out my front door and realize there are no cars.

Dammit

I look around and spot my bike lying on the inner wall of the garage. It hasn't left that spot since I left it there a year ago.

You cannot ride your bike…you can't…well

Before I even know it I'm perched on the seat and adjusting to being on a bike once more.

How did I ever think this was comfortable?

I throw my bag over my shoulder; it's the same one I use for school. I'm not much into fashion as I'm sure you've already realized. I start pedaling quickly, starving to get there.

I can't believe how quickly your mode can change. Just 10 minutes ago I had no desire to see him, and now can't go on without seeing him…

This is great, I should be there any minute.

"Lana…where the hell have you been?" Nell shouts while she slams her car door.

Oh crap…

I push down the kick stand and slowly turn to face her "I uh…"

Think…think…think

Nell crosses her arms and looks at me impatiently, "You see Nell… I -"

"La-"

"I threw up." I don't even know what I've blurted out.

"You threw up?" Nell asks suspiciously.

"Yeah…it was awful. I left Clark's and I had to a…" I look at the ground searching for where to go, "…pull over on the side of the road." I look up at her as I finish, happy with this lie.

"You had to pull over on the side of road to…."

I hate it when people repeat your sentences as if they're saying it.

"To throw up…yes." I finish slightly angered. I think the tone will work for me, it will be convincing.

Nell's still not buying it. "Well if you were sick then why are you on your bike now? I mean you look fine to me."

"You see I think it was what I had for lunch. I felt awful, and worse, I felt like I was going to throw up at Clark's. I made a complete fool of myself. So I ran out of there and came back here. But after sleeping for a few hours I feel much better. So I was hoping to make it to the last few minutes of the game." I look at her hopeful. "…Try to gain back some pride from how I acted in front of him."

Not a complete lie…

Nell looks like she's caving slightly, "Well…." She looks at me indecisively.

Work her a little more…

"Nell I'm so sorry about leaving you alone at the shop and not calling you."

Alright let's bring this home…

"It was so irresponsible of me. And not to mention completely disrespectful towards you." Nells face seems to change slightly.

Bingo

"Well…I guess you're forgiven and…" She looks at me for a moment, making me wait on purpose, "you can go to the game."

I run over to her and hug her. "Thank you Nell."

As she pulls away, "Just don't stay out too late."

As if that has ever happened. I don't think I've ever come home past ten…and no, I'm not kidding.

"I won't." I look at her contemplating if I should ask what I'm thinking.

"Well you're never going to make it to the game on a bike…take the car."

Yet again…the freaking mind reading tactics of parents.

"Thank you Nell….you are the best." I hug her again and grab the keys from her as I hop into the car.

I watch her wave goodbye to me as she becomes farther and farther away.

The whole ride there I contemplated turning around probably five times.

I am so nervous. Like sweaty palms nervous. And I have this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach that nothing is ever going to be the same.

I find the closest spot available in the packed parking lot. I get out of my car and I see crowds of people coming towards me. Obviously I missed the game, but Clark wanted to talk to me afterwards, so I continue to walk towards the field. As I pass every person I can hear their conversations. And in each one the topic is the same. 'How badly Clark Kent played in the game.'

Uh oh…they lost.

I feel my face fall as the field becomes closer. I reach the entrance and inhale deeply.

Here it goes

I enter the field and look for where to go. I now realize that we never made like detailed plans of where to meet.

Which I guess is understandable.

I walk further in the stadium and stop to take in the night.

I can still feel the excitement and energy of the crowd. Almost like a ghost, haunting the stadium.

I look up to the sky and then to my left when that pit in my stomach plummets. I see him. There he is sitting on the bench. His head resting in his hands. For the first time he looks weak. I instinctively walk over to him. As I reach the bench I just look down at him. He's still in his uniform with dirt and sweat covering his body.

He still looks amazing.

"I'm sorry you guys lost." My face cringes.

Oy…why must you always say the wrong thing?

He doesn't look up at me as he solemnly replies, "We didn't lose."

What?

My face contorts into confusion as he finally looks at me. "I didn't think you'd come." His face has changed and he's smiling slightly.

"Well to be honest…I didn't either." He moves over, which I guess is a way of telling me to sit, so I do.

"So…" I look in front of me and sort of tap my knees.

This is so awkward.

He starts to laugh and I do too. I guess we both don't know what to do or say. He looks at me. We get caught in a stare.

"So, you wanna go somewhere…" He pauses.

Do I ever…

"….and talk?" He finishes as everything comes back to me.

Oh God…that

I nod hesitantly, afraid of what is to come. Suddenly I hear someone behind us.

"Hey Kent…Coach said to just go home and get rest. I swear you get away with everything." It's the same kid, Kevin I think his name was, from before. He looks at me.

"Oh it's you again…"

"Kevin…" Clark stands and gives him a death stare.

"Relax…I just want to introduce myself to the young lady. I'm Kevin" He says cockily as he throws his hand in front of me. I don't take it and respond indifferently, "Lana."

"Ouch…Kent you go for the cold ones huh?" He lightly jabs Clark's chest but Clark swats his hand away.

Kevin stands back and exclaims, "Dude…I'm just kidding. What the hell's wrong with you?"

Clark's voice becomes calmer and replies, "Nothing…I'm just a little tense, I guess."

"Well then it's a good thing Conor's having that victory party."

Clark cautiously begins, "Oh…I can't-"

"What? Are you really bailing out on your team." Kevin asks seriously.

"I just…" Clark looks over at me, "…I have other plans."

"Well what's more important?"

Is this guy kidding me? It's just a stupid party.

Clark seems to be troubled as he tries to decide what to do

Oh my god, is HE kidding me? It's just a stupid party.

Kevin watches him and finally says, "Look just come, you can even bring your girlfriend here to the party. That way everyone wins."

Girlfriend? Yeah I wish.

Clark doesn't say anything but laughs. Kevin looks at him. "So I'll see you there?" Clark just nods and Kevin smiles "There you go…" He looks at me, "And I hope to see you there as well." He winks at me before leaving. Clark doesn't notice as he's looking down.

I have no clue what girls see in that guy.

Clark watches him leave and then turns to me, "I kind of have to go to that stupid party….I'll never live it down." I'm sure my face now displays the extreme anger I feel.

I'm sorry…you're going to go to a party? After everything that happened today?

"So would you mind coming with me…I mean we can talk there."

Oh…

I look at him still not sure if that's what I want to do, but decide it's what I have to.

"Yeah…I mean… sure." I answer while looking at him unsure

"Ok…" He looks down, and I can see that he can't believe we're about to talk. That he can't believe he's going to tell me…whatever it is he's going to tell me.

"Well I guess the easiest way to go about this would be for you to come to my house, then we'll go together?"

Why would this be the easiest way?

"A…yeah…I guess that would be the easiest way."

"Alright…um well I'm just going to grab some stuff from the locker room. And then I'll meet you in the parking lot?"

"Ok." I simply answer and he replies the same, "Ok."

He turns and starts running towards the entrance to the locker room as I remain where I am.

That conversation was so pointless. Everything we just said had no meaning. It was like we were dancing around the real issue. But I realize I don't mind…because I know soon we're going to collide into the real issue. And everything is going to change. But right now everything is the same. I still have this time where Clark Kent is just a football player. Where Clark Kent is just the too cute boy in my school who I have a crush on. And I now realize that very soon that is all going to change