SPOILERS - None.
SUMMARY - Same as the other chapters
DISCLAIMER - The WB, Amy Sherman-Palladino, et al owns it all.
WARNING: MAJOR FLUFFINESS AHEAD.proceed at your own risk!
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Chapter Six
I sat down at the bridge and started to write, suddenly inspired. I'll write a semi-autobiographical story about a bad boy from the big city who finds himself living a small-town life. I could write about Rory. She could read about how I felt about her. All the things I could never say to her in person. I was writing furiously when the sounds of footsteps on the bridge broke me from my concentration.
"Hey Dodger, don't let me stop you, you look to be on a roll there," said a familiar voice. My heart stopped. I smirked and slowly lifted my head to look at her. She was as gorgeous as ever. Her hair was cut shorter, so that it just touched the tops of her shoulders. Other than that, she looked exactly the same as my dreams of her. She sat down next to me with her legs dangling close to the water, as were mine. "So, how have you been?" she asked, clasping her hands in front of her.
"Good, I've been good," I answered, nodding. No! I haven't been good! Okay, professionally I'm doing fine, but I need you! I need you more than oxygen! Jesus! Tell her that, will you?! There's nothing worst that the internal voice when it decides to switch on and fight with your outer- personna.
"That's good. You look great. I'm glad you came for mom and Luke's wedding," she said awkwardly.
"Yeah, it was a last minute thing," I said and hesitated. "But I'm glad I'm here, too." I paused. "I even opened up the diner for Luke this morning," I said with amusement.
"I heard! Wow, that must have been like deja-vu all over again, huh?" she smiled at me. My heart soared.
"Yeah. This whole place is like deja-vu," I said. We sat quietly for a moment. "Rory, look, I wanted to call you, um, I wanted to tell you." I stopped. She looked up from staring at her hands in her lap and met my eyes. They were filled with tears. My fear was reaching an apex. I know this look. It either means she is going to lash out at me or crumble into sobs. I could never tell which one. I couldn't blame her if she lashed out at me, but I don't want her to cry either. Geez, come on, say it, you want to say it, say it. "I.I.I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I put you through. I've missed you, I miss you very much," I said, turning slightly and gently taking her hands into mine. Damn you! Why didn't you tell her that you still loved her? Come on Jess, tell her! Tell her! My mind was whirling. I just couldn't get my mouth to say it.
She broke her hands from mine and wrapped her arms around my neck, hugging me tightly, crying into my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her and held her, moving closer until we were completely touching. Neither of us said anything. I just sat and held her while she quietly cried. I decided to wait until she was all cried-out and then she would want to talk. We sat there, holding each other, for a long time. I rested my chin on the top of her head and closed my eyes. This isn't how I wanted this to happen. I wanted it to be like when I showed up at the wedding, when she was happy to see me. And she kissed me. I wanted to kiss her. I desperately wanted to lift her chin and kiss her lips. I felt like a drowning man gasping for air.
I felt her breaking away from me slightly, catching her breath. I smoothed her hair, stroking the side of her face with my thumb, searching her eyes. Her eyes stared back, rimmed with red, but still beautiful. "You left me," she stated quietly.
"Yeah," I said back quietly.
"I hated you for that, you know," she tried to say back strongly.
"I figured you would."
"But your book. The dedication. To me. I understood, then. I understood why you did what you did," she said, lightly touching my cheek with her fingers.
"I was hoping you'd forgive me. For everything," I said trying to smile but failing.
"I do forgive you, Jess," she said, and I couldn't wait a second longer. I reached for her, pressing my lips against hers, one hand on either side of her face. She wrapped her arms around my back and returned the kiss. Our lips parted as the kiss deepened, her hands ran up and down my back, sending chills all through me. I wanted to lay her back on this bridge and make love to her. All of the emotion and passion that I had been holding inside of me, holding and waiting to give to her and her alone, was rising to the surface. I wanted to touch her, to taste her, to be with her. There was nowhere in the world I would rather be in that moment but right there, no amount of money or fame or success would be able to come close to the way I was feeling.
She broke the kiss, both of us gasping for breath. I felt lightheaded, as though I might pass out. Only Rory could make me feel so out of control, so out of touch with that side of me that is always holding back. "I have to go," she said suddenly, starting to get up.
"Rory." I said questionably, feeling that deja-vu again. If she tells me not to tell anyone what just happened, I swear I'll jump off this bridge and try to drown myself. Ha, the water is 3 feet deep, not likely I would drown. But it would be pretty dramatic, I guess.
"I have to think about all of this, um, I'll talk to you later, Jess," she said, her forehead furrowed, quickly turning and running back towards her house.
What was there to think about? In my mind, the world was right again. I had Rory, we are together, like it should be. Why is she so conflicted? Is there another guy? I laid back on the planks of the bridge, begging for sleep to overtake me. I suddenly craved a cigarette, something I haven't had for years.
I sighed. She ran away from me. Again.
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END OF CHAPTER SIX
Ah, fluffiness has left the building. Why did she run? What will Jess do to make things right? What does Luke have to say about it? Or Lorelai? Stay tuned.
WARNING: MAJOR FLUFFINESS AHEAD.proceed at your own risk!
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Chapter Six
I sat down at the bridge and started to write, suddenly inspired. I'll write a semi-autobiographical story about a bad boy from the big city who finds himself living a small-town life. I could write about Rory. She could read about how I felt about her. All the things I could never say to her in person. I was writing furiously when the sounds of footsteps on the bridge broke me from my concentration.
"Hey Dodger, don't let me stop you, you look to be on a roll there," said a familiar voice. My heart stopped. I smirked and slowly lifted my head to look at her. She was as gorgeous as ever. Her hair was cut shorter, so that it just touched the tops of her shoulders. Other than that, she looked exactly the same as my dreams of her. She sat down next to me with her legs dangling close to the water, as were mine. "So, how have you been?" she asked, clasping her hands in front of her.
"Good, I've been good," I answered, nodding. No! I haven't been good! Okay, professionally I'm doing fine, but I need you! I need you more than oxygen! Jesus! Tell her that, will you?! There's nothing worst that the internal voice when it decides to switch on and fight with your outer- personna.
"That's good. You look great. I'm glad you came for mom and Luke's wedding," she said awkwardly.
"Yeah, it was a last minute thing," I said and hesitated. "But I'm glad I'm here, too." I paused. "I even opened up the diner for Luke this morning," I said with amusement.
"I heard! Wow, that must have been like deja-vu all over again, huh?" she smiled at me. My heart soared.
"Yeah. This whole place is like deja-vu," I said. We sat quietly for a moment. "Rory, look, I wanted to call you, um, I wanted to tell you." I stopped. She looked up from staring at her hands in her lap and met my eyes. They were filled with tears. My fear was reaching an apex. I know this look. It either means she is going to lash out at me or crumble into sobs. I could never tell which one. I couldn't blame her if she lashed out at me, but I don't want her to cry either. Geez, come on, say it, you want to say it, say it. "I.I.I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I put you through. I've missed you, I miss you very much," I said, turning slightly and gently taking her hands into mine. Damn you! Why didn't you tell her that you still loved her? Come on Jess, tell her! Tell her! My mind was whirling. I just couldn't get my mouth to say it.
She broke her hands from mine and wrapped her arms around my neck, hugging me tightly, crying into my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her and held her, moving closer until we were completely touching. Neither of us said anything. I just sat and held her while she quietly cried. I decided to wait until she was all cried-out and then she would want to talk. We sat there, holding each other, for a long time. I rested my chin on the top of her head and closed my eyes. This isn't how I wanted this to happen. I wanted it to be like when I showed up at the wedding, when she was happy to see me. And she kissed me. I wanted to kiss her. I desperately wanted to lift her chin and kiss her lips. I felt like a drowning man gasping for air.
I felt her breaking away from me slightly, catching her breath. I smoothed her hair, stroking the side of her face with my thumb, searching her eyes. Her eyes stared back, rimmed with red, but still beautiful. "You left me," she stated quietly.
"Yeah," I said back quietly.
"I hated you for that, you know," she tried to say back strongly.
"I figured you would."
"But your book. The dedication. To me. I understood, then. I understood why you did what you did," she said, lightly touching my cheek with her fingers.
"I was hoping you'd forgive me. For everything," I said trying to smile but failing.
"I do forgive you, Jess," she said, and I couldn't wait a second longer. I reached for her, pressing my lips against hers, one hand on either side of her face. She wrapped her arms around my back and returned the kiss. Our lips parted as the kiss deepened, her hands ran up and down my back, sending chills all through me. I wanted to lay her back on this bridge and make love to her. All of the emotion and passion that I had been holding inside of me, holding and waiting to give to her and her alone, was rising to the surface. I wanted to touch her, to taste her, to be with her. There was nowhere in the world I would rather be in that moment but right there, no amount of money or fame or success would be able to come close to the way I was feeling.
She broke the kiss, both of us gasping for breath. I felt lightheaded, as though I might pass out. Only Rory could make me feel so out of control, so out of touch with that side of me that is always holding back. "I have to go," she said suddenly, starting to get up.
"Rory." I said questionably, feeling that deja-vu again. If she tells me not to tell anyone what just happened, I swear I'll jump off this bridge and try to drown myself. Ha, the water is 3 feet deep, not likely I would drown. But it would be pretty dramatic, I guess.
"I have to think about all of this, um, I'll talk to you later, Jess," she said, her forehead furrowed, quickly turning and running back towards her house.
What was there to think about? In my mind, the world was right again. I had Rory, we are together, like it should be. Why is she so conflicted? Is there another guy? I laid back on the planks of the bridge, begging for sleep to overtake me. I suddenly craved a cigarette, something I haven't had for years.
I sighed. She ran away from me. Again.
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END OF CHAPTER SIX
Ah, fluffiness has left the building. Why did she run? What will Jess do to make things right? What does Luke have to say about it? Or Lorelai? Stay tuned.