SPOILERS - None.
SUMMARY - Same as the other chapters
DISCLAIMER - The WB, Amy Sherman-Palladino, et al owns it all.
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Chapter Seven
I stayed on the bridge for a long time that day. I had lay there with my hands behind my head, staring at the clouds. I closed my eyes, trying to sleep, to no avail. What should I do? Should I go to her house and pound on her door until she tells me that she feels the same way that I do? Frustrated with myself, I got up, grabbed my journal (I was no longer inspired to write) and headed back to the diner. I walked quickly through the place and headed up the stairs to the apartment. Luke saw the look on my face and immediately knew that I wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone. At least he still recognized that look.
I threw my journal on the kitchen table and flopped down on the bed. God, why doesn't anything work out for me? I suddenly had the urge to cry. To cry for all the times I didn't cry, when I probably should have cried. I had held her, I kissed her and now I feel like I lost her. The tears began to fall without restraint.
"Jess?" I heard Luke call from the other side of the office door. He knocked. I sat up, cleared my throat and wiped my eyes. I went to the door and opened it.
"Yeah?" I said, quickly turning to hide my face from him. I don't need him to see that I was crying. I'm supposed to be the tough one, the one who doesn't do things like cry. I walked over to the fridge and took out a beer, opened it, and downed half of it in one shot. I kept my back to him.
"I, uh, thought you might be hungry, I brought you up a portobello burger, I'll just leave it, uh, here on the table, if you're interested," he said quietly. Damn, he saw it. He knows. "If you want to talk, Jess, I'm here," he said. He hesitated for a moment before quietly closing the door behind him.
I sat at the table staring at the burger. Thanks, Luke. I have to remember to thank him later, when I'm more in a mood to talk. I sat there most of the afternoon in silence. I finished the burger and fries at some point. I really don't remember even eating it, I was so lost in thought. I went to the throw out my empty beer bottles and noticed that it was already getting dark outside. Huh. "To hell with it," I said aloud to no one. I turned off the light and stripped out of my clothes and climbed into bed. I didn't even look to see what time it was. I didn't really care. I just wanted this day to be over with.
I woke up with a start. The apartment was dark. But I had that strange feeling that there was someone else in the room with me. I started to reach over for the light next to the bed. "Jess, it's me," a soft voice came from behind me, and I felt a hand on my extended arm. I jumped.
"What the?" I turned over in the bed towards the voice.
"Shhh." Rory said, pushing me back on the pillow, covering my mouth with hers. She had been lying next to me on the bed. I wonder how long she had been there. Her hands were on my chest, still holding me down. I reached for her, wrapping my arms around her, pulling her on top of me, deepening the kiss. She moaned. It was like music to my ears. My tongue begged entry and she obliged, and we hungrily kissed. I wanted her more than life itself. I went hard against her, my erection obvious against the thin material of my boxers, and she reacted by grinding herself against me, eliciting a moan from both of us. My hands caressed her back, wanting to touch every inch of her.
My mind was swimming again. I was confused. I had been asleep a minute ago, depressed by the thought that she didn't want to be with me. And now here she was, in the apartment, in the bed with me, wanting me. Something felt really wrong about it. This time it was my turn to push back, as I broke the kiss.
"Rory, wait," I said breathlessly.
"I missed you so much," she whispered, kissing my neck, running her hands across my bare chest.
I lay my head back. It felt so good. It should be so easy to just.take her, like so many women I've had. But this wasn't just any woman. It wasn't me just screwing someone to feel good for a little while. This is the woman that I've been in love with for the past six years. A person who I've hurt. This is the person who I wanted to win back and never leave again. I needed to know where we stand. I couldn't let something like this happen between us, only to have her run away from me like she did on the bridge. I put my hands on her face and brought it up to look at me. In the darkness I could barely see her.
"Rory, listen, I want you, I want this, but this isn't right, it's been five years, we should talk about this, about us," I stated as simply as I could, without giving my feelings away too much. She sighed and rolled onto her back on the bed. "Rory? What are you thinking about?" I asked, concerned. I didn't want her to cry again. I didn't want to cause that. I propped up on an elbow facing her.
She turned on her side and mirrored my body position. "Why did you come here?" she asked. I wasn't sure how to answer that. Shit, time to lay the cards on the table, stop playing games.
"It's kind of a long story. Well, I was sitting in the airport bar Sunday night, reading. Having a drink. And I couldn't stop thinking about you, wondering where you were, what you were doing. And I just picked up and came here. I didn't know what I'd find. I figured that Luke would know and tell me how you were doing. I didn't expect that you would be here. I had no idea that this was when Luke and Lorelai were getting married. I just..I don't know, I wanted to be here, the place you loved, the place where I fell for you. I was so tired, I guess I just wanted to stop fighting it," I suddenly felt choked up. Shit, I can't cry. Not again. This is crazy. She stroked my cheek with her fingertip.
"Fighting it? Fighting what?" she asked, sounding confused.
I laughed. "What I'm always fighting, my feelings, of course."
"Oh," she said as if she knew what I was talking about.
"All these years have passed already. And I swore to myself when I left you five years ago that once I got my shit together that I would find you, beg you to forgive me, and try to win your heart. But I was afraid. Afraid that you hated me, that you forgot me, that you found someone else. I didn't even try to find you. But I didn't stop thinking about you for one minute. I never stopped caring about you," I said honestly. It felt so good to finally get that off my chest, to tell her.
"I did hate you for a while," she said quietly. "But I never stopped caring about you. I wanted you to come back to me, but you never did."
"I came back for you now, that is, if you'll have me," I answered, holding my breath while waiting for her response.
"Promise me you won't run away again?" she said, and I could hear the smile in her voice.
"I'll promise if you do," I answered and kissed her.
"Sounds good, Dodger. So do you wanna.continue where we left off?"
I could almost hear her blushing. Same old Rory. "Don't you have to go home?" I asked. I completely forgot that she was now 23 years old. It felt like we were both 17, skirting around Luke and Lorelai's curfews. Rory laughed.
"Well, no, mom doesn't hold me to a curfew anymore, silly. Anyways, she knows that I'm here with you. So does Luke."
"Huh. And they're okay with it?" I asked, completely surprised. Lorelai was never fond of me, it must have been Luke's influence.
"They encouraged me to come here tonight!" she said cynically.
"Huh."
"So?" she asked again.
"Let's just get some sleep now. Tomorrow, however, is another day," I said and kissed her sweetly.
"Okay," she said as she got out of bed and padded to the bathroom. I heard her wash her face. She came back out and she had stripped down to her panties. Even in the faint light of the streetlight shining through the window, she looked beautiful.
She climbed into the bed and I wrapped my arms around her.
"Goodnight, Dodger," she said, her head buried in my neck.
"Goodnight, Princess,' I answered, gently caressing her back. I had my Rory. Nothing could hold me back now.
*********************** End of Chapter 7
Wow, it's hard to not do their reunion non-fluffy..but then again, we haven't heard those 3 little words from either of them yet, have we??? And how many people don't believe that Jess would say no to Rory's advances? Remember, he's supposed to be mature now, not totally driven by teenage hormones..hee!
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Chapter Seven
I stayed on the bridge for a long time that day. I had lay there with my hands behind my head, staring at the clouds. I closed my eyes, trying to sleep, to no avail. What should I do? Should I go to her house and pound on her door until she tells me that she feels the same way that I do? Frustrated with myself, I got up, grabbed my journal (I was no longer inspired to write) and headed back to the diner. I walked quickly through the place and headed up the stairs to the apartment. Luke saw the look on my face and immediately knew that I wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone. At least he still recognized that look.
I threw my journal on the kitchen table and flopped down on the bed. God, why doesn't anything work out for me? I suddenly had the urge to cry. To cry for all the times I didn't cry, when I probably should have cried. I had held her, I kissed her and now I feel like I lost her. The tears began to fall without restraint.
"Jess?" I heard Luke call from the other side of the office door. He knocked. I sat up, cleared my throat and wiped my eyes. I went to the door and opened it.
"Yeah?" I said, quickly turning to hide my face from him. I don't need him to see that I was crying. I'm supposed to be the tough one, the one who doesn't do things like cry. I walked over to the fridge and took out a beer, opened it, and downed half of it in one shot. I kept my back to him.
"I, uh, thought you might be hungry, I brought you up a portobello burger, I'll just leave it, uh, here on the table, if you're interested," he said quietly. Damn, he saw it. He knows. "If you want to talk, Jess, I'm here," he said. He hesitated for a moment before quietly closing the door behind him.
I sat at the table staring at the burger. Thanks, Luke. I have to remember to thank him later, when I'm more in a mood to talk. I sat there most of the afternoon in silence. I finished the burger and fries at some point. I really don't remember even eating it, I was so lost in thought. I went to the throw out my empty beer bottles and noticed that it was already getting dark outside. Huh. "To hell with it," I said aloud to no one. I turned off the light and stripped out of my clothes and climbed into bed. I didn't even look to see what time it was. I didn't really care. I just wanted this day to be over with.
I woke up with a start. The apartment was dark. But I had that strange feeling that there was someone else in the room with me. I started to reach over for the light next to the bed. "Jess, it's me," a soft voice came from behind me, and I felt a hand on my extended arm. I jumped.
"What the?" I turned over in the bed towards the voice.
"Shhh." Rory said, pushing me back on the pillow, covering my mouth with hers. She had been lying next to me on the bed. I wonder how long she had been there. Her hands were on my chest, still holding me down. I reached for her, wrapping my arms around her, pulling her on top of me, deepening the kiss. She moaned. It was like music to my ears. My tongue begged entry and she obliged, and we hungrily kissed. I wanted her more than life itself. I went hard against her, my erection obvious against the thin material of my boxers, and she reacted by grinding herself against me, eliciting a moan from both of us. My hands caressed her back, wanting to touch every inch of her.
My mind was swimming again. I was confused. I had been asleep a minute ago, depressed by the thought that she didn't want to be with me. And now here she was, in the apartment, in the bed with me, wanting me. Something felt really wrong about it. This time it was my turn to push back, as I broke the kiss.
"Rory, wait," I said breathlessly.
"I missed you so much," she whispered, kissing my neck, running her hands across my bare chest.
I lay my head back. It felt so good. It should be so easy to just.take her, like so many women I've had. But this wasn't just any woman. It wasn't me just screwing someone to feel good for a little while. This is the woman that I've been in love with for the past six years. A person who I've hurt. This is the person who I wanted to win back and never leave again. I needed to know where we stand. I couldn't let something like this happen between us, only to have her run away from me like she did on the bridge. I put my hands on her face and brought it up to look at me. In the darkness I could barely see her.
"Rory, listen, I want you, I want this, but this isn't right, it's been five years, we should talk about this, about us," I stated as simply as I could, without giving my feelings away too much. She sighed and rolled onto her back on the bed. "Rory? What are you thinking about?" I asked, concerned. I didn't want her to cry again. I didn't want to cause that. I propped up on an elbow facing her.
She turned on her side and mirrored my body position. "Why did you come here?" she asked. I wasn't sure how to answer that. Shit, time to lay the cards on the table, stop playing games.
"It's kind of a long story. Well, I was sitting in the airport bar Sunday night, reading. Having a drink. And I couldn't stop thinking about you, wondering where you were, what you were doing. And I just picked up and came here. I didn't know what I'd find. I figured that Luke would know and tell me how you were doing. I didn't expect that you would be here. I had no idea that this was when Luke and Lorelai were getting married. I just..I don't know, I wanted to be here, the place you loved, the place where I fell for you. I was so tired, I guess I just wanted to stop fighting it," I suddenly felt choked up. Shit, I can't cry. Not again. This is crazy. She stroked my cheek with her fingertip.
"Fighting it? Fighting what?" she asked, sounding confused.
I laughed. "What I'm always fighting, my feelings, of course."
"Oh," she said as if she knew what I was talking about.
"All these years have passed already. And I swore to myself when I left you five years ago that once I got my shit together that I would find you, beg you to forgive me, and try to win your heart. But I was afraid. Afraid that you hated me, that you forgot me, that you found someone else. I didn't even try to find you. But I didn't stop thinking about you for one minute. I never stopped caring about you," I said honestly. It felt so good to finally get that off my chest, to tell her.
"I did hate you for a while," she said quietly. "But I never stopped caring about you. I wanted you to come back to me, but you never did."
"I came back for you now, that is, if you'll have me," I answered, holding my breath while waiting for her response.
"Promise me you won't run away again?" she said, and I could hear the smile in her voice.
"I'll promise if you do," I answered and kissed her.
"Sounds good, Dodger. So do you wanna.continue where we left off?"
I could almost hear her blushing. Same old Rory. "Don't you have to go home?" I asked. I completely forgot that she was now 23 years old. It felt like we were both 17, skirting around Luke and Lorelai's curfews. Rory laughed.
"Well, no, mom doesn't hold me to a curfew anymore, silly. Anyways, she knows that I'm here with you. So does Luke."
"Huh. And they're okay with it?" I asked, completely surprised. Lorelai was never fond of me, it must have been Luke's influence.
"They encouraged me to come here tonight!" she said cynically.
"Huh."
"So?" she asked again.
"Let's just get some sleep now. Tomorrow, however, is another day," I said and kissed her sweetly.
"Okay," she said as she got out of bed and padded to the bathroom. I heard her wash her face. She came back out and she had stripped down to her panties. Even in the faint light of the streetlight shining through the window, she looked beautiful.
She climbed into the bed and I wrapped my arms around her.
"Goodnight, Dodger," she said, her head buried in my neck.
"Goodnight, Princess,' I answered, gently caressing her back. I had my Rory. Nothing could hold me back now.
*********************** End of Chapter 7
Wow, it's hard to not do their reunion non-fluffy..but then again, we haven't heard those 3 little words from either of them yet, have we??? And how many people don't believe that Jess would say no to Rory's advances? Remember, he's supposed to be mature now, not totally driven by teenage hormones..hee!