Even though this is meant to be a Kenshin/Sano yaoi, we can't just ignore Kaoru's obvious (and pathetic) infatuation with Kenshin. So the next chapter or two are about that. Bunch of random crap, really. Like Kaoru.
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Kaoru took a large kitchen knife and began to slice the large salmon she'd bought for dinner into small red cubes in preparation for its journey to the skillet. Outside, she could hear the steady wsk-wsk of the broom as Kenshin, despite having stayed out way too late at a party with Sano the night before, swept the courtyard clean of fallen leaves and other debris. A warm feeling of calm settled over Kaoru like a blanket, making her smile without even thinking about it. It was times like these that, if she imagined just a little bit, she could believe that she and Kenshin were living in their own little home in the country, together, just the two of them. Nothing in the world would make her so happy as that.
As she fell deeper into her little fantasy world, she could imagine that the thumping of Suzume and Ayame's feet on the wooden walkway were the footsteps of her own children... their children...
"Uncle Ken!" the girls shouted as they spotted their favorite playmate. Kaoru could hear scuffling sounds and a short "oof!" as they threw themselves at Kenshin, knocking him off-balance. "Tell us a story, Uncle Ken!" Ayame insisted.
"Oh, but I have to finish my chores, that I do..."
"You always have to work! You never play with us anymore!"
"Yeah, you never play anymore!" Suzume echoed, a soft warble in her voice that denoted she was about to cry.
"All right, all right. I'll tell you a story," Kenshin concurred. When Kaoru glanced up she could see his silhouette through the shoji-screen as he sat on the walkway and took one girl on each knee. They've got him wrapped around their little fingers, she thought affectionately. The big softie.
Kenshin looked absently into the distance for a while, as if deciding what story to tell. Finally he looked back down at the girls and began in a soft, caring voice, "Once upon a time, in a little village far, far away, there lived a farmer."
"What was his name?" Suzume asked.
"Eh... his name was Tomodachi because he was friends with everyone in the village - right down to the chickens he kept in a coop. Tomodachi was an honest, hard-working farmer. He wasn't very rich, but he was happy because he had a home, food to eat, and many friends. One of his closest friends was a man named Kakashi. Everyone called him that because he was very tall and skinny and wore clothing that was too small for him, so Kakashi looked just like a scarecrow. He wasn't exactly hard working, but Kakashi had a kind heart and always looked out for those smaller or weaker than him.
"Now, the village was ruled by a mean, greedy lord who taxed the villagers so much that they could barely survive. When Kakashi saw all the little children who wouldn't get dinner because of the bad lord, he got very, very angry. Finally, he couldn't stand it any longer and one night he went to Tomodachi's house. When Tomodachi invited him in, Kakashi said, 'I can't take it any more, Tomodachi. I've got to do something about that evil lord. There are children who are starving because of his cruelty!'
"'But what can you do?' Tomodachi asked.
"'First,' Kakashi said, 'I'm going to break into the lord's storehouse, take all the food he's got locked up in there and give it to the people of the village. Then,' he added, his eyes gleaming, 'I'm going to burn down the lord's mansion, so he will never bully us again!'"
"That's a bad thing to do!" Suzume cried, absolutely mortified. "The lord and his family could get hurt!"
Kenshin nodded in agreement. "Tomodachi said the exact same thing. But Kakashi didn't care - he was determined to free the people from the lord's tyranny. When he left, Tomodachi debated for a long time about what to do. Finally, he decided to go out and stop Kakashi from carrying out his plan. He ran as fast as he could and was able to catch Kakashi just before he was going to break into the storehouse. However, even then Kakashi wouldn't stop, and Tomodachi had to knock him out to make him stop."
"He hurt his own friend?" Ayame asked, totally engrossed by the story.
"Yes, but if he hadn't, Kakashi would have done something very bad. Tomodachi would have been a bad friend if he let Kakashi do something he shouldn't." Ayame nodded her understanding, and Kenshin continued. "For a long time nothing happened, and Tomodachi thought the whole incident was behind them. But suddenly, one day the lord somehow found out that Kakashi had tried to break the law - which in itself is enough to punish him. Still, the lord didn't know for sure if the story was true, so he went to Tomodachi and asked the farmer if Kakashi had ever tried to break the law."
Here, Kenshin's tone of voice changed; he now sounded sadder, more helpless. Kaoru couldn't help but admire how good of a storyteller he was - he made it sound like it really happened. "Now, Tomodachi was a very honest man and never lied to anybody. But he couldn't get Kakashi in trouble with the lord. He opened his mouth to say something when the lord grinned evilly and said, 'Remember to tell the truth, little Tomodachi, or I will have to double the taxes on all the people in the village.'
"Tomodachi was shocked. The villagers were barely surviving as it was, and raising the taxes even one sen would be devastating! So he was faced with a choice: tell the truth and have his friend executed, or lie and have the whole village suffer."
By now, Kaoru had set the knife down, slid aside the shoji-screen, and was leaning against the frame. When Kenshin stopped and did not start again, she asked softly, "How does the story end?"
Kenshin turned and looked up at her, as if he was just aware of her presence. "I'm afraid I don't know, that I do not."
Kaoru could see the deep sadness in his large violet eyes. Kenshin, she yearned to say to him, I can see how much pain you are in. Please, let me take some of your burden so you won't feel so sad all the time. I want to make you happy, Kenshin... Instead, she smiled cheerily and said, "Come on inside; dinner's almost ready."
O_O O_O O_O
Though it must have been well past midnight, Kaoru lay wide-awake on her futon. Lately, Kenshin had been acting very depressed and despondent about something, but Kaoru's gentle prodding to get him to talk had gotten nowhere. Kaoru worried about him, for she had seen Kenshin act similarly before - right before he left for Kyoto.
She shuddered at the memory. He can't leave me again. He can't! she thought, remembering the time before. Kenshin... I don't think I'll survive if you leave again. Her mind was so fixed on that one thought that she didn't really know what she was thinking as, like a doll controlled by strings, she rose from her futon and walked over to the door.
The night was very warm, so Kaoru didn't bother to put on a jacket over her sleeping robe as she slid the screen aside and stepped out onto the elevated walkway. The smooth, polished wood felt comfortingly cool against her bare feet as she padded down to Kenshin's room, where a single light still glowed softly. Kaoru's heart thudded in her ears as she stopped outside his room, working up enough courage to step inside. After a quick, silent debate on whether to knock or not, she opened the door and glided inside.
Kenshin was sitting with his back against a wall, staring at the small lantern as if it were the only thing in his entire universe. When Kaoru stepped inside, he looked up in surprise, as if he'd just been awoken from a deep slumber. "Miss Kaoru," he asked, always courteous, "is there something you need?"
"Yes." Kaoru kneeled before Kenshin, the brazier between them. Oh god, how was she going to put what she wanted to tell him into words? She'd rehearsed it so many times in her mind, but it seemed so difficult to actually say it out loud. "Kenshin..." she began hesitantly, "every day I look into your eyes... and I can see how much you suffer. I can see all the pain and sadness you feel." Kenshin said nothing, only watched and listened to Kaoru intensely. "And... and whenever I watch you suffer... it hurts me... here..." She placed a hand over her heart. There's no turning back now. Slowly, the hand moved to her sleeping kimono and she pulled aside the fabric to reveal her breasts. Kaoru took Kenshin's slender hand in her own and pressed it against her cheek. "Please Kenshin... all I want is to make you happy," she whispered.
"Miss Kaoru..." Kenshin began, his voice low, "I am eternally grateful for the love and kindness you have shown me, that I am. All I want is to return that love, that I do." The word "however" hung in the air so obviously that Kenshin didn't bother to utter it aloud as he removed his hand from Kaoru's grasp and gently closed the front of her kimono. "I do not want to risk... damaging... our relationship, that I do not."
Tears sprang up at the corners of Kaoru's eyes and spilled down her cheek unchecked. Tenderly, Kenshin brushed away the stream of salty tears, murmuring, "Please try to understand, Miss Kaoru."
Suddenly, Kaoru knocked away Kenshin's hand and dashed outside, her head bowed in shame. She threw open the screen to her room with a loud snap and hurled herself upon her futon, unable to hold back any longer. For what seemed an eternity Kaoru whole body was wracked by terrible sobs so severe that she wouldn't have been able to control herself even if she had wanted to. Stupid, stupid girl! a cruel voice inside her mind admonished. What the hell were you thinking? Kaoru whimpered and curled up on her futon. She wanted to escape, to shut out this tormenting voice, but she couldn't any more than she could escape her own shadow. Why would Kenshin ever want to be with a foolish little girl like you? Now because of your idiocy he probably thinks you're nothing more than a whore!
"I... I l-love him," Kaoru whispered between sobs.
Boohoo, you love him, the little voice mocked. So you go and show him your tits, right? With this last self-deriding thought, Kaoru buried her face in her hands and wished with every last ounce of her will that she'd sink into the floor and just disappear. What had she been thinking? No self-respecting person would ever do something like that... Now Kenshin probably wouldn't even speak with her - how could he after the disgusting way she'd acted? And if he hadn't a reason to stay at the dojo, then he'd become a wanderer again... You tried to bring him closer, but ended up pushing him further away, the voice scorned. Typical, you little screw-up.
"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Kaoru whimpered, but of course it didn't help because the voice was hers. She drew her knees up to her chin, clapped her hands over her ears, and screwed her eyes shut in a vain attempt to block out all the pain and embarrassment she was feeling.
It was in this position that Yahiko found her the next morning.
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Review review review!!! What more can I say?
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Kaoru took a large kitchen knife and began to slice the large salmon she'd bought for dinner into small red cubes in preparation for its journey to the skillet. Outside, she could hear the steady wsk-wsk of the broom as Kenshin, despite having stayed out way too late at a party with Sano the night before, swept the courtyard clean of fallen leaves and other debris. A warm feeling of calm settled over Kaoru like a blanket, making her smile without even thinking about it. It was times like these that, if she imagined just a little bit, she could believe that she and Kenshin were living in their own little home in the country, together, just the two of them. Nothing in the world would make her so happy as that.
As she fell deeper into her little fantasy world, she could imagine that the thumping of Suzume and Ayame's feet on the wooden walkway were the footsteps of her own children... their children...
"Uncle Ken!" the girls shouted as they spotted their favorite playmate. Kaoru could hear scuffling sounds and a short "oof!" as they threw themselves at Kenshin, knocking him off-balance. "Tell us a story, Uncle Ken!" Ayame insisted.
"Oh, but I have to finish my chores, that I do..."
"You always have to work! You never play with us anymore!"
"Yeah, you never play anymore!" Suzume echoed, a soft warble in her voice that denoted she was about to cry.
"All right, all right. I'll tell you a story," Kenshin concurred. When Kaoru glanced up she could see his silhouette through the shoji-screen as he sat on the walkway and took one girl on each knee. They've got him wrapped around their little fingers, she thought affectionately. The big softie.
Kenshin looked absently into the distance for a while, as if deciding what story to tell. Finally he looked back down at the girls and began in a soft, caring voice, "Once upon a time, in a little village far, far away, there lived a farmer."
"What was his name?" Suzume asked.
"Eh... his name was Tomodachi because he was friends with everyone in the village - right down to the chickens he kept in a coop. Tomodachi was an honest, hard-working farmer. He wasn't very rich, but he was happy because he had a home, food to eat, and many friends. One of his closest friends was a man named Kakashi. Everyone called him that because he was very tall and skinny and wore clothing that was too small for him, so Kakashi looked just like a scarecrow. He wasn't exactly hard working, but Kakashi had a kind heart and always looked out for those smaller or weaker than him.
"Now, the village was ruled by a mean, greedy lord who taxed the villagers so much that they could barely survive. When Kakashi saw all the little children who wouldn't get dinner because of the bad lord, he got very, very angry. Finally, he couldn't stand it any longer and one night he went to Tomodachi's house. When Tomodachi invited him in, Kakashi said, 'I can't take it any more, Tomodachi. I've got to do something about that evil lord. There are children who are starving because of his cruelty!'
"'But what can you do?' Tomodachi asked.
"'First,' Kakashi said, 'I'm going to break into the lord's storehouse, take all the food he's got locked up in there and give it to the people of the village. Then,' he added, his eyes gleaming, 'I'm going to burn down the lord's mansion, so he will never bully us again!'"
"That's a bad thing to do!" Suzume cried, absolutely mortified. "The lord and his family could get hurt!"
Kenshin nodded in agreement. "Tomodachi said the exact same thing. But Kakashi didn't care - he was determined to free the people from the lord's tyranny. When he left, Tomodachi debated for a long time about what to do. Finally, he decided to go out and stop Kakashi from carrying out his plan. He ran as fast as he could and was able to catch Kakashi just before he was going to break into the storehouse. However, even then Kakashi wouldn't stop, and Tomodachi had to knock him out to make him stop."
"He hurt his own friend?" Ayame asked, totally engrossed by the story.
"Yes, but if he hadn't, Kakashi would have done something very bad. Tomodachi would have been a bad friend if he let Kakashi do something he shouldn't." Ayame nodded her understanding, and Kenshin continued. "For a long time nothing happened, and Tomodachi thought the whole incident was behind them. But suddenly, one day the lord somehow found out that Kakashi had tried to break the law - which in itself is enough to punish him. Still, the lord didn't know for sure if the story was true, so he went to Tomodachi and asked the farmer if Kakashi had ever tried to break the law."
Here, Kenshin's tone of voice changed; he now sounded sadder, more helpless. Kaoru couldn't help but admire how good of a storyteller he was - he made it sound like it really happened. "Now, Tomodachi was a very honest man and never lied to anybody. But he couldn't get Kakashi in trouble with the lord. He opened his mouth to say something when the lord grinned evilly and said, 'Remember to tell the truth, little Tomodachi, or I will have to double the taxes on all the people in the village.'
"Tomodachi was shocked. The villagers were barely surviving as it was, and raising the taxes even one sen would be devastating! So he was faced with a choice: tell the truth and have his friend executed, or lie and have the whole village suffer."
By now, Kaoru had set the knife down, slid aside the shoji-screen, and was leaning against the frame. When Kenshin stopped and did not start again, she asked softly, "How does the story end?"
Kenshin turned and looked up at her, as if he was just aware of her presence. "I'm afraid I don't know, that I do not."
Kaoru could see the deep sadness in his large violet eyes. Kenshin, she yearned to say to him, I can see how much pain you are in. Please, let me take some of your burden so you won't feel so sad all the time. I want to make you happy, Kenshin... Instead, she smiled cheerily and said, "Come on inside; dinner's almost ready."
O_O O_O O_O
Though it must have been well past midnight, Kaoru lay wide-awake on her futon. Lately, Kenshin had been acting very depressed and despondent about something, but Kaoru's gentle prodding to get him to talk had gotten nowhere. Kaoru worried about him, for she had seen Kenshin act similarly before - right before he left for Kyoto.
She shuddered at the memory. He can't leave me again. He can't! she thought, remembering the time before. Kenshin... I don't think I'll survive if you leave again. Her mind was so fixed on that one thought that she didn't really know what she was thinking as, like a doll controlled by strings, she rose from her futon and walked over to the door.
The night was very warm, so Kaoru didn't bother to put on a jacket over her sleeping robe as she slid the screen aside and stepped out onto the elevated walkway. The smooth, polished wood felt comfortingly cool against her bare feet as she padded down to Kenshin's room, where a single light still glowed softly. Kaoru's heart thudded in her ears as she stopped outside his room, working up enough courage to step inside. After a quick, silent debate on whether to knock or not, she opened the door and glided inside.
Kenshin was sitting with his back against a wall, staring at the small lantern as if it were the only thing in his entire universe. When Kaoru stepped inside, he looked up in surprise, as if he'd just been awoken from a deep slumber. "Miss Kaoru," he asked, always courteous, "is there something you need?"
"Yes." Kaoru kneeled before Kenshin, the brazier between them. Oh god, how was she going to put what she wanted to tell him into words? She'd rehearsed it so many times in her mind, but it seemed so difficult to actually say it out loud. "Kenshin..." she began hesitantly, "every day I look into your eyes... and I can see how much you suffer. I can see all the pain and sadness you feel." Kenshin said nothing, only watched and listened to Kaoru intensely. "And... and whenever I watch you suffer... it hurts me... here..." She placed a hand over her heart. There's no turning back now. Slowly, the hand moved to her sleeping kimono and she pulled aside the fabric to reveal her breasts. Kaoru took Kenshin's slender hand in her own and pressed it against her cheek. "Please Kenshin... all I want is to make you happy," she whispered.
"Miss Kaoru..." Kenshin began, his voice low, "I am eternally grateful for the love and kindness you have shown me, that I am. All I want is to return that love, that I do." The word "however" hung in the air so obviously that Kenshin didn't bother to utter it aloud as he removed his hand from Kaoru's grasp and gently closed the front of her kimono. "I do not want to risk... damaging... our relationship, that I do not."
Tears sprang up at the corners of Kaoru's eyes and spilled down her cheek unchecked. Tenderly, Kenshin brushed away the stream of salty tears, murmuring, "Please try to understand, Miss Kaoru."
Suddenly, Kaoru knocked away Kenshin's hand and dashed outside, her head bowed in shame. She threw open the screen to her room with a loud snap and hurled herself upon her futon, unable to hold back any longer. For what seemed an eternity Kaoru whole body was wracked by terrible sobs so severe that she wouldn't have been able to control herself even if she had wanted to. Stupid, stupid girl! a cruel voice inside her mind admonished. What the hell were you thinking? Kaoru whimpered and curled up on her futon. She wanted to escape, to shut out this tormenting voice, but she couldn't any more than she could escape her own shadow. Why would Kenshin ever want to be with a foolish little girl like you? Now because of your idiocy he probably thinks you're nothing more than a whore!
"I... I l-love him," Kaoru whispered between sobs.
Boohoo, you love him, the little voice mocked. So you go and show him your tits, right? With this last self-deriding thought, Kaoru buried her face in her hands and wished with every last ounce of her will that she'd sink into the floor and just disappear. What had she been thinking? No self-respecting person would ever do something like that... Now Kenshin probably wouldn't even speak with her - how could he after the disgusting way she'd acted? And if he hadn't a reason to stay at the dojo, then he'd become a wanderer again... You tried to bring him closer, but ended up pushing him further away, the voice scorned. Typical, you little screw-up.
"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Kaoru whimpered, but of course it didn't help because the voice was hers. She drew her knees up to her chin, clapped her hands over her ears, and screwed her eyes shut in a vain attempt to block out all the pain and embarrassment she was feeling.
It was in this position that Yahiko found her the next morning.
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Review review review!!! What more can I say?