Oh yeah, I guess I should do the disclaimer thingie, though I don't really see the point cuz it's not like I'm making any money off of this. Anywho, IdontownRurouniKenshinsodontsuemeImpoor!
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"Kenshin, something's wrong with Kaoru," Yahiko declared, bursting into Kenshin's room. "She hasn't moved since I went to wake her up."
Kenshin sighed. He had expected something like this - after all, he'd probably broken the poor girl's heart. As if he didn't have enough troubles already... "I'll go see her." He rose and brushed by Yahiko, who stood respectfully aside and closed the shoji-screen behind him. In stocking feet, Kenshin padded down the walkway to Kaoru's room. He tapped softly on the frame of the screen and called out quietly, "Miss Kaoru?"
No response. Kenshin strained his ears to hear any sort of movement, but the room was as silent as though there was no one in there at all. At length, he cautiously slid the shoji-screen aside and peered into the darkened room. Once his eyes had adjusted to the relative gloom of the room, he looked down to see Kaoru curled up on her futon, her back to him. She gave no sign of noticing him, though Kenshin knew she was very much awake. He closed the screen behind him and knelt on the floor a respectful distance away. "Miss Kaoru? Are you all right?"
Of course I'm not all right, Kaoru thought. She didn't say this out loud, however; she couldn't even bring herself to look at Kenshin, she was so ashamed. Honestly, Kaoru didn't know why she didn't just kill herself with seppuku like the samurais of olden times or throw herself into a river like the beautiful, love-struck maidens of the tragic monogatari romances. Actually, that was a lie - she did know why. It's because I'm a damn worthless coward. That's why. Kaoru felt like crying again, but somehow she felt doing so in front of Kenshin would lower her standing in his eyes even more than she already was. Oh god, how will he ever forgive me?
"There is nothing to forgive you of," Kenshin said softly, having seemingly come down with an acute case of mental telepathy. "Having feelings for one another is not a crime." He placed a brotherly hand on her shoulder. "Please understand, Miss Kaoru. I love you very much, that I do. I just don't feel it would be... appropriate, that I do not." He paused, waiting for her answer. When Kaoru didn't respond, Kenshin sighed, rose to his feet, and said, "Since it will be your birthday in two days, we decided to take you to the theater. They're performing The Tales of Genji. I hope you feel better in time for us to take you there." Still Kaoru did not react.
Kenshin slid open the door and stepped out into the morning light, closing it courteously behind him. Yahiko, who had been waiting outside the whole time, looked curiously at Kaoru's prone form before it was hidden from view by the paper screen. "I take it this isn't the kind of thing we can just call Doctor Gensai or Miss Megumi about and have them fix her up, right?"
Kenshin shook his head, mostly to confirm Yahiko's statement but partially because of wonder; though he was still young, but Yahiko already knew a great deal about people's emotions. "I'm afraid there's nothing we can do except wait. This problem Kaoru must conquer on her own, that she must."
Despite being in stocking feet, Yahiko hopped off the raised walkway to the dusty ground of the drought-ravaged garden below and began scuffing at a rock. "Man, I wonder what's got Kaoru all depressed. I haven't seen her act like this since you left for Kyoto." Yahiko narrowed his eyes and gave Kenshin a suspicious look. "You're not leaving again, are you?"
Kenshin assured Yahiko that he was not, and after giving him several apprehensive glances the boy took his word for it and wandered off to find some breakfast, seeing that Kaoru obviously wasn't going to fix him some like she normally did. After looking over his shoulder at the closed door of Kaoru's room one more time, Kenshin walked off to begin his morning chores like usual. Though he resisted the feeling as much as possible, guilt gnawed away at his insides until he felt empty and hollow. If he had known that it would distress Miss Kaoru so much, than perhaps he should have -
NO! Kenshin's conscience screamed. As unkind as this may seem, it would be even crueler to give Kaoru false hopes. No one wants to live a lie. And it would have been a lie, for although it was the truth when Kenshin said he loved Kaoru very, very much, it would not be true to say that he wanted to be with her. Those feelings were reserved for another friend... the very friend he was now being ordered to betray.
Kenshin filled the tub used for washing clothes, his mind still far off in its own world. To tell the truth, he had been somewhat frightened when he first realized that his feelings for Sanosuke had moved beyond simple friendship to something much deeper and more intimate. Sure, he'd wondered about being with a man before (he was pretty sure many guys did), but never seriously; it had been nothing more than careless "what ifs..." - that is, until now.
Reaching into the nearby basket of dirty clothes, Kenshin pulled out a pair of hakama soiled by sweat and dirt and dunked it into the soapy water. By now, his fears had moved away from his feelings in themselves to Sano's feelings - specifically, what Sanosuke would do if he ever found out how Kenshin felt about him. Of course, he couldn't possibly feel the same way Kenshin did, and his shrewd imagination conjured up several scenarios of what would happen if Sano found out based upon that fact. But, inevitably, the question always arose: "What if he does?" When that was asked, Kenshin's mind came grinding to a halt and refused to work anymore, for which he was quite grateful.
Eventually, Kenshin's thoughts turned to the predicament presented to him two days ago. Over ten years ago he had sworn to use his sword only to protect those he loved, yet in this case his famed sakabatou was useless - and, Kenshin felt, so was he. That corrupt snake of a policeman Fushiyuuki would return tomorrow, and Kenshin had yet to come up with a way to keep everybody out of harm.
Fushiyuuki's words replayed themselves in Kenshin's head: "Be sure to tell the truth, Himura-san..." The truth. What a joke. Kenshin knew that Fushiyuuki had no way of proving if he lied or not, but he also knew that if the slimy bastard didn't get the answer he wanted to hear he'd carry through with his threat in full. If Kenshin did as he was told, Sanosuke would die. If he protected Sano, the person he loved, than the dojo would be destroyed and he had little doubt that Fushiyuuki would find a way to harm Kaoru and Yahiko as well. In layman's terms, he was up the proverbial shit creek without a paddle.
"Oi, Kenshin - are you trying to drown my pants or what?" Yahiko asked as he brought out the sheets of his futon to be washed, snapping Kenshin out of her reverie.
Looking down, Kenshin realized he'd been holding the hakama (which happened to be Yahiko's) underwater for at least fifteen minutes. He quickly scrubbed them clean, rinsed them out, and hung them on the nearby clothesline. "Sorry. I was thinking about something, that I was."
"What were you thinking about? You looked pretty upset right then."
Kenshin was silent for a while as he debated on how to explain himself to Yahiko. Finally he said, "The other night at the party I attended with Sano, someone posed me a question that has been bothering me for some time, that it has." He fell silent, hoping it would be enough to appease Yahiko's curiosity.
As was to be expected, it wasn't. "Really? What was the question?"
"Well... If you had to chose between betraying the one you loved most - as in cared for their well-being like a sister or daughter - and the person you love the most, as in..."
"As in wanting to throw them down on the ground and have sex with them right now?" Yahiko supplied, quite unhelpfully.
And here I was thinking he'd matured, Kenshin thought. "Uh... I suppose, though I wouldn't put it that way, I would not. Who would you betray?" He tucked a strand of red hair behind his ear and stared down at the glassy surface of the water. "I still haven't decided upon the answer, that I have not."
Yahiko squatted down, the sheets still in his arms, and scratched his head of unruly black hair thoughtfully. "Man, I hate these rhetorical questions." He thought for a moment. "Okay, first of all... assuming that these two people you love aren't one and the same... well, first I'd try my damnedest to find a way to avoid betraying either altogether - even if it meant I'd have to pay for it."
Kenshin nodded, as if Yahiko's answer had given him an idea, and waited for him to continue.
"Failing that... then I would chose the option that harmed the least amount of people, as much as it may hurt me emotionally."
"The option that harmed the least amount of people..." Kenshin repeated contemplatively.
Yahiko could practically see the wheels in Kenshin's head turning, even when he returned to washing the laundry. Man, he's really taking this seriously. Shrugging, the boy rocked back on his heels and stretched. "To tell the truth Kenshin, if someone had asked me that before I met you and Kaoru I'd have probably said something really different." When Kenshin looked up in surprise, Yahiko continued, "I mean you've really rubbed off on me - and on the others, too. Now I try to make up for being a pickpocket by helping people and applying myself to my studies. Miss Megumi repents for making opium by saving lives with her medical skills - hell, even Sano makes up for the bad things he's done in the past by helping others... though I'll bet if you asked he'd probably deny it."
Kenshin smiled slightly at this last statement. "It's gratifying to know I've had such an influence on people, that it is."
"Yeah, well don't let it get to your head. The last thing I need is you strutting around with an ego as big as Kaoru's."
"That's not very nice, that it isn't."
"The truth isn't always nice." Yahiko stood and dropped the sheets into the washtub, splashing Kenshin in the process. He then turned and walked off to practice his swordsmanship - or, just as likely, to lounge outside the practice hall.
Kenshin wiped away the foam that had landed on his face with the back of his hand, Yahiko's words ringing in his ears. As unlikely as it seemed, the young boy had actually given Kenshin an idea on how to... he hesitated to use the word "best"...handle the situation. Preferably he would have liked to avoid the problem altogether and gone on living peacefully at the dojo with Kaoru and Yahiko, but the higher powers - whatever they may be - had decided to not be so easy on him. Kenshin finished washing the laundry as quickly as possible and stood, walking to the gate of the dojo.
Somewhat surprisingly, Yahiko was indeed practicing his sword strokes with his shinai outside the practice hall. Though he'd been exercising for a short time, beads of sweat already lined his brow because of the unseasonable heat that had plagued the city for some time. When he saw Kenshin open the latch on the gate, Yahiko lowered his bamboo sword and asked, "Where are you going?"
Half turning around, Kenshin answered casually, "I have some errands to run, that I do."
Yahiko wasn't fooled. "Uh-uh. I've heard that tone before. You're up to something you don't want Kaoru to know about - so spill."
This time Kenshin turned all the way around so he was facing Yahiko, though he didn't step away from the half-open gate. He smiled his sad smile, and for a brief instant let down his barriers so that the sadness he was feeling showed through. "Yahiko, I'm sorry that I can't tell you what's going on, that I am. Nonetheless, whatever may happen I ask that you trust I'm doing what I think is best for all of you."
"But Kenshin - " It was too late for Yahiko's protests, for Kenshin had already gone. The shinai clattered to the ground from his numb hand; Kenshin's departure had effectively killed all ambitions of practicing. I ask that you trust I'm doing what I think is best for all of you, Kenshin had said. "I'll try," Yahiko said, shaking his head. "Just... come back to us, Kenshin."
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Yeah. Corny. Whatever. Just review.
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"Kenshin, something's wrong with Kaoru," Yahiko declared, bursting into Kenshin's room. "She hasn't moved since I went to wake her up."
Kenshin sighed. He had expected something like this - after all, he'd probably broken the poor girl's heart. As if he didn't have enough troubles already... "I'll go see her." He rose and brushed by Yahiko, who stood respectfully aside and closed the shoji-screen behind him. In stocking feet, Kenshin padded down the walkway to Kaoru's room. He tapped softly on the frame of the screen and called out quietly, "Miss Kaoru?"
No response. Kenshin strained his ears to hear any sort of movement, but the room was as silent as though there was no one in there at all. At length, he cautiously slid the shoji-screen aside and peered into the darkened room. Once his eyes had adjusted to the relative gloom of the room, he looked down to see Kaoru curled up on her futon, her back to him. She gave no sign of noticing him, though Kenshin knew she was very much awake. He closed the screen behind him and knelt on the floor a respectful distance away. "Miss Kaoru? Are you all right?"
Of course I'm not all right, Kaoru thought. She didn't say this out loud, however; she couldn't even bring herself to look at Kenshin, she was so ashamed. Honestly, Kaoru didn't know why she didn't just kill herself with seppuku like the samurais of olden times or throw herself into a river like the beautiful, love-struck maidens of the tragic monogatari romances. Actually, that was a lie - she did know why. It's because I'm a damn worthless coward. That's why. Kaoru felt like crying again, but somehow she felt doing so in front of Kenshin would lower her standing in his eyes even more than she already was. Oh god, how will he ever forgive me?
"There is nothing to forgive you of," Kenshin said softly, having seemingly come down with an acute case of mental telepathy. "Having feelings for one another is not a crime." He placed a brotherly hand on her shoulder. "Please understand, Miss Kaoru. I love you very much, that I do. I just don't feel it would be... appropriate, that I do not." He paused, waiting for her answer. When Kaoru didn't respond, Kenshin sighed, rose to his feet, and said, "Since it will be your birthday in two days, we decided to take you to the theater. They're performing The Tales of Genji. I hope you feel better in time for us to take you there." Still Kaoru did not react.
Kenshin slid open the door and stepped out into the morning light, closing it courteously behind him. Yahiko, who had been waiting outside the whole time, looked curiously at Kaoru's prone form before it was hidden from view by the paper screen. "I take it this isn't the kind of thing we can just call Doctor Gensai or Miss Megumi about and have them fix her up, right?"
Kenshin shook his head, mostly to confirm Yahiko's statement but partially because of wonder; though he was still young, but Yahiko already knew a great deal about people's emotions. "I'm afraid there's nothing we can do except wait. This problem Kaoru must conquer on her own, that she must."
Despite being in stocking feet, Yahiko hopped off the raised walkway to the dusty ground of the drought-ravaged garden below and began scuffing at a rock. "Man, I wonder what's got Kaoru all depressed. I haven't seen her act like this since you left for Kyoto." Yahiko narrowed his eyes and gave Kenshin a suspicious look. "You're not leaving again, are you?"
Kenshin assured Yahiko that he was not, and after giving him several apprehensive glances the boy took his word for it and wandered off to find some breakfast, seeing that Kaoru obviously wasn't going to fix him some like she normally did. After looking over his shoulder at the closed door of Kaoru's room one more time, Kenshin walked off to begin his morning chores like usual. Though he resisted the feeling as much as possible, guilt gnawed away at his insides until he felt empty and hollow. If he had known that it would distress Miss Kaoru so much, than perhaps he should have -
NO! Kenshin's conscience screamed. As unkind as this may seem, it would be even crueler to give Kaoru false hopes. No one wants to live a lie. And it would have been a lie, for although it was the truth when Kenshin said he loved Kaoru very, very much, it would not be true to say that he wanted to be with her. Those feelings were reserved for another friend... the very friend he was now being ordered to betray.
Kenshin filled the tub used for washing clothes, his mind still far off in its own world. To tell the truth, he had been somewhat frightened when he first realized that his feelings for Sanosuke had moved beyond simple friendship to something much deeper and more intimate. Sure, he'd wondered about being with a man before (he was pretty sure many guys did), but never seriously; it had been nothing more than careless "what ifs..." - that is, until now.
Reaching into the nearby basket of dirty clothes, Kenshin pulled out a pair of hakama soiled by sweat and dirt and dunked it into the soapy water. By now, his fears had moved away from his feelings in themselves to Sano's feelings - specifically, what Sanosuke would do if he ever found out how Kenshin felt about him. Of course, he couldn't possibly feel the same way Kenshin did, and his shrewd imagination conjured up several scenarios of what would happen if Sano found out based upon that fact. But, inevitably, the question always arose: "What if he does?" When that was asked, Kenshin's mind came grinding to a halt and refused to work anymore, for which he was quite grateful.
Eventually, Kenshin's thoughts turned to the predicament presented to him two days ago. Over ten years ago he had sworn to use his sword only to protect those he loved, yet in this case his famed sakabatou was useless - and, Kenshin felt, so was he. That corrupt snake of a policeman Fushiyuuki would return tomorrow, and Kenshin had yet to come up with a way to keep everybody out of harm.
Fushiyuuki's words replayed themselves in Kenshin's head: "Be sure to tell the truth, Himura-san..." The truth. What a joke. Kenshin knew that Fushiyuuki had no way of proving if he lied or not, but he also knew that if the slimy bastard didn't get the answer he wanted to hear he'd carry through with his threat in full. If Kenshin did as he was told, Sanosuke would die. If he protected Sano, the person he loved, than the dojo would be destroyed and he had little doubt that Fushiyuuki would find a way to harm Kaoru and Yahiko as well. In layman's terms, he was up the proverbial shit creek without a paddle.
"Oi, Kenshin - are you trying to drown my pants or what?" Yahiko asked as he brought out the sheets of his futon to be washed, snapping Kenshin out of her reverie.
Looking down, Kenshin realized he'd been holding the hakama (which happened to be Yahiko's) underwater for at least fifteen minutes. He quickly scrubbed them clean, rinsed them out, and hung them on the nearby clothesline. "Sorry. I was thinking about something, that I was."
"What were you thinking about? You looked pretty upset right then."
Kenshin was silent for a while as he debated on how to explain himself to Yahiko. Finally he said, "The other night at the party I attended with Sano, someone posed me a question that has been bothering me for some time, that it has." He fell silent, hoping it would be enough to appease Yahiko's curiosity.
As was to be expected, it wasn't. "Really? What was the question?"
"Well... If you had to chose between betraying the one you loved most - as in cared for their well-being like a sister or daughter - and the person you love the most, as in..."
"As in wanting to throw them down on the ground and have sex with them right now?" Yahiko supplied, quite unhelpfully.
And here I was thinking he'd matured, Kenshin thought. "Uh... I suppose, though I wouldn't put it that way, I would not. Who would you betray?" He tucked a strand of red hair behind his ear and stared down at the glassy surface of the water. "I still haven't decided upon the answer, that I have not."
Yahiko squatted down, the sheets still in his arms, and scratched his head of unruly black hair thoughtfully. "Man, I hate these rhetorical questions." He thought for a moment. "Okay, first of all... assuming that these two people you love aren't one and the same... well, first I'd try my damnedest to find a way to avoid betraying either altogether - even if it meant I'd have to pay for it."
Kenshin nodded, as if Yahiko's answer had given him an idea, and waited for him to continue.
"Failing that... then I would chose the option that harmed the least amount of people, as much as it may hurt me emotionally."
"The option that harmed the least amount of people..." Kenshin repeated contemplatively.
Yahiko could practically see the wheels in Kenshin's head turning, even when he returned to washing the laundry. Man, he's really taking this seriously. Shrugging, the boy rocked back on his heels and stretched. "To tell the truth Kenshin, if someone had asked me that before I met you and Kaoru I'd have probably said something really different." When Kenshin looked up in surprise, Yahiko continued, "I mean you've really rubbed off on me - and on the others, too. Now I try to make up for being a pickpocket by helping people and applying myself to my studies. Miss Megumi repents for making opium by saving lives with her medical skills - hell, even Sano makes up for the bad things he's done in the past by helping others... though I'll bet if you asked he'd probably deny it."
Kenshin smiled slightly at this last statement. "It's gratifying to know I've had such an influence on people, that it is."
"Yeah, well don't let it get to your head. The last thing I need is you strutting around with an ego as big as Kaoru's."
"That's not very nice, that it isn't."
"The truth isn't always nice." Yahiko stood and dropped the sheets into the washtub, splashing Kenshin in the process. He then turned and walked off to practice his swordsmanship - or, just as likely, to lounge outside the practice hall.
Kenshin wiped away the foam that had landed on his face with the back of his hand, Yahiko's words ringing in his ears. As unlikely as it seemed, the young boy had actually given Kenshin an idea on how to... he hesitated to use the word "best"...handle the situation. Preferably he would have liked to avoid the problem altogether and gone on living peacefully at the dojo with Kaoru and Yahiko, but the higher powers - whatever they may be - had decided to not be so easy on him. Kenshin finished washing the laundry as quickly as possible and stood, walking to the gate of the dojo.
Somewhat surprisingly, Yahiko was indeed practicing his sword strokes with his shinai outside the practice hall. Though he'd been exercising for a short time, beads of sweat already lined his brow because of the unseasonable heat that had plagued the city for some time. When he saw Kenshin open the latch on the gate, Yahiko lowered his bamboo sword and asked, "Where are you going?"
Half turning around, Kenshin answered casually, "I have some errands to run, that I do."
Yahiko wasn't fooled. "Uh-uh. I've heard that tone before. You're up to something you don't want Kaoru to know about - so spill."
This time Kenshin turned all the way around so he was facing Yahiko, though he didn't step away from the half-open gate. He smiled his sad smile, and for a brief instant let down his barriers so that the sadness he was feeling showed through. "Yahiko, I'm sorry that I can't tell you what's going on, that I am. Nonetheless, whatever may happen I ask that you trust I'm doing what I think is best for all of you."
"But Kenshin - " It was too late for Yahiko's protests, for Kenshin had already gone. The shinai clattered to the ground from his numb hand; Kenshin's departure had effectively killed all ambitions of practicing. I ask that you trust I'm doing what I think is best for all of you, Kenshin had said. "I'll try," Yahiko said, shaking his head. "Just... come back to us, Kenshin."
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Yeah. Corny. Whatever. Just review.