1991
Remus' Point of View
Days come, and days go. But nothing can change the memory of his face, the way he looked at me, brown eyes filled with guilt and a strange sadness as they carted him away, into Azkaban for the rest of his life.
I knew he did it. He was the only one who could've. I knew he deserved to go. So I let them carry him away without so much as a word from my lips.
I can't help but dream of him, even now. I know it's wrong to feel this way, I know I would be locked away too, if they knew I felt this way
I would deserve it, too. Every bit of it would be my fault. I can't love him. For me to love him would be a sin against God and against society, my mother and my father, Lily and James.
I am a man. Men aren't supposed to feel this way about murderers, especially other men. Years ago the raw pain and jealousy I felt everyday as the most beautiful witch in the world kisses James, my James, was nearly unbearable. But it was the way I felt, and I feel the same for Sirius now.
I am a werewolf. We are man-eating beasts, horrid creatures all. We deserve no right but a silver bullet to the brain, to put us out of our misery as well as everyone else's. But Sirius. he loved me anyway. or at least he said he did, the bloodthirsty traitor.
Sirius is a murderer, the one who killed my true love, and the one who handed him and the others to the dark lord on a silver platter. I should kill him. I should rip him apart from limb to limb, tear his heart out and eat it, and then strangle the smarmy bastard with his own innards. But I can't do it. I hate him but I love him too.
Is it strange of me to feel like this, or is it only in my nature to be man and beast, what I am and what I am not, good and evil, saint and sinner, straight and bent?
He's like that too, contradictory and hypocritical by nature. An atheist that believes in reincarnation, an Auror and a Death Eater, and a murderer who is my only hope of salvation: Sirius Orion Black.
Perhaps it is true, that "nature will compel you to act" of the Gita's. I can't help it. I think of him always, and I've risked my life for him many times. Is this love? I promised him it was. Am I a liar or simply a fool?
Remus' Point of View
Days come, and days go. But nothing can change the memory of his face, the way he looked at me, brown eyes filled with guilt and a strange sadness as they carted him away, into Azkaban for the rest of his life.
I knew he did it. He was the only one who could've. I knew he deserved to go. So I let them carry him away without so much as a word from my lips.
I can't help but dream of him, even now. I know it's wrong to feel this way, I know I would be locked away too, if they knew I felt this way
I would deserve it, too. Every bit of it would be my fault. I can't love him. For me to love him would be a sin against God and against society, my mother and my father, Lily and James.
I am a man. Men aren't supposed to feel this way about murderers, especially other men. Years ago the raw pain and jealousy I felt everyday as the most beautiful witch in the world kisses James, my James, was nearly unbearable. But it was the way I felt, and I feel the same for Sirius now.
I am a werewolf. We are man-eating beasts, horrid creatures all. We deserve no right but a silver bullet to the brain, to put us out of our misery as well as everyone else's. But Sirius. he loved me anyway. or at least he said he did, the bloodthirsty traitor.
Sirius is a murderer, the one who killed my true love, and the one who handed him and the others to the dark lord on a silver platter. I should kill him. I should rip him apart from limb to limb, tear his heart out and eat it, and then strangle the smarmy bastard with his own innards. But I can't do it. I hate him but I love him too.
Is it strange of me to feel like this, or is it only in my nature to be man and beast, what I am and what I am not, good and evil, saint and sinner, straight and bent?
He's like that too, contradictory and hypocritical by nature. An atheist that believes in reincarnation, an Auror and a Death Eater, and a murderer who is my only hope of salvation: Sirius Orion Black.
Perhaps it is true, that "nature will compel you to act" of the Gita's. I can't help it. I think of him always, and I've risked my life for him many times. Is this love? I promised him it was. Am I a liar or simply a fool?