J. August continued to walk toward his trailer. His head was still
spinning from Charisma's rant only moments before. Plus Vincent was really
getting on his nerves. He smiled as his trailer came into sight. He had
the rest of the afternoon to rest and there was a pitcher cherry Kool-Aid
in his mini-fridge with his name on it. He reached the door and was about
to open it when his cell phone rang. He sighed and answered it. "Hi."
"Hello, Mr. Richards?" came the voice from the other end.
"Yeah." J. August answered. This was obviously a business call.
"Mr. Greenwalt and Mr. Whedon have called an emergency cast meeting, they need you to be in room 302 immediately." Before J. August could answer the person had already hung up, and was no doubt already dialing another number.
J. August waved goodbye to his trailer and his Kool-Aid and started the five- minute walked to room 302. When he got there he saw a large table with chairs all around. Amy, Vincent and Andy were already seated. Vincent was sitting beside Andy and talking a mile a minute. Andy was more focused on scratching his forehead, where some of his make up had been removed. He had apparently been called while they were removing the make up, and the way J. August figured it, this had to be pretty important if they couldn't wait for Andy to finish.
At the other end of the table Amy was waving to him, indicating that he sit next to her. He smiled and walked quickly toward her. He sat down and asked her "Any idea what's up?"
Amy gazed around, looking like she belonged in a James Bond movie. "David and Charisma quit. For good, they just stormed out." She explained.
"Whoa, that's not good. Is the show being canceled?"
"No just changed a bit." Came the all-to-familiar voice of David Greenwalt from behind J. August's shoulder.
"Okay, I don't mean to be rude or anything but, the show's called ANGEL without Angel you're gonna have to change it more than a bit." J. August pointed out.
"Well, yes, and that's why we're having this meeting. We want to hear all of you're ideas."
"My ideas?" J. August sounded skeptical.
"Not just you, the whole cast. We know we can make this work without David and Charisma, and we want you to help decide. Like one big family."
"Alright! We're a family. Isn't this great?" Vincent exclaimed.
"I am not related to that freak. Really or hypothetically, understand?" J. August said in a way that cautioned David to use the word family as a reference again.
"I think we should just end it tastefully. It lasted three years, that's pretty good-especially for a spin-off." Joss in put.
"No, we can squeeze at least another season out of it. Even with a cast of grade B actors." Greenwalt argued.
"Grade B? Boy, that guy is just askin' for trouble." J. August muttered to himself and Amy.
The next thing they heard was from Joss. "I quit, you can run this into the ground if you want, but it sure won't have my name on it!" And with that Joss stormed out.
"Sooooo." David continued. "Let's start with the suggestions."
"Man, I do NOT like the sound of this. I quit too." J. August, starting to stand. His departure was interrupted by more words from Greenwalt.
"You can't, You're under contract. Sorry." He smiled villainously, and J. August could help but picture him as one of the blood sucking vamps on the show.
"But David and Charisma did." J. August retorted.
"They had contracts on a year-to-year basis. Now sit down."
J. August reluctantly sat back down. Then glanced around the room feeling like a prisoner. Well, he thought, with any luck it'll be canceled real quick so I can end the humility.
"Any ideas?" David asked again.
"How about we call it Connor the series?" Vincent suggested.
"How about no." Andy said, wishing he could leave, this make up was really starting to itch.
"Ooh, then how about Angel Investigations." Vincent again was the only one with a suggestion.
"Yeah and that works so well without the Angel part." J. August pointed out.
"Okay then how about Investigations?" Vincent amended.
Andy responded by hitting him in the back of the head.
"Oh, like you have a better suggestion." Vincent said angrily.
"Almost anything's better than those. We could get better ratings if we made it a Variety Show." Andy answered sarcastically.
"That's it!!!" David Greenwalt screamed. "An old time variety show, oh people will eat that up."
"No way am I gonna be in a lame as-"
Amy coughed to stop the potential curse word.
"Sorry, lame variety show." J. August finished.
"Oh yes you are and you'll be the star, you and Amy. We need a title."
"Oh great now it's the Fred and Gunn Variety Hour." J. August mocked the idea.
"Exactly. That's a great title. By the way, where's Alexis?" David said in a rush.
Alexis conveniently walked in a moment later.
"Sorry I'm late." He said in his British accent.
"Oh, no problem. We were just discussing the Fred and Gunn Variety Hour." J. August informed him.
"The what?" Alexis asked in disbelief.
"It's the show. It's now the Fred and Gunn Variety Hour. David and Charisma quit." J. August explained to the baffled Alexis.
"And we're stuck with it. We're all under contract." Andy added.
"I'll have our publicist go straight to work on the ad campaign. You're all dismissed." David allowed them to leave.
"Thanks, teach." J. August said as he passed Greenwalt on his way out.
Amy walked up behind him, silently.
"Sorry about the way things turned out in there." J. August tried to comfort her.
"No, it's okay. I loved variety shows when I was a kid. This might be fun." She said bearing her biggest fake smile.
"Why are you always so darn cheerful?" J. August asked in a silly loving big brother sort of tone.
"I don't know, no one else is so I might as well be." She answered.
"Say, do happen to like cherry Kool-Aid?" J. August asked smiling- only his smile was real.
"Are you kidding? Who doesn't?" Amy answered in her most 'Duh you should have known that' kinda tone.
"Well, would you like to join me in my trailer, for some fresh Cherry Kool-Aid?" J. August asked Amy, hoping he didn't sound to hopeful for a yes.
"I'd love to. Oh and I have home made Rice Krispy bars in my trailer, should I get them?"
"Of course, maybe if we pile on enough calories, they'll fire us for being too fat." J. August joked, thinking about how it would be impossible for Amy to get fat. Like her character Fred, she could eat and eat and not gain a pound.
They laughed as they walked side by side on their way to their veg session and the sugar buzz that was sure to come from Amy's Rice Krispy bars and J. August's extra sweet Kool-Aid.
"Hello, Mr. Richards?" came the voice from the other end.
"Yeah." J. August answered. This was obviously a business call.
"Mr. Greenwalt and Mr. Whedon have called an emergency cast meeting, they need you to be in room 302 immediately." Before J. August could answer the person had already hung up, and was no doubt already dialing another number.
J. August waved goodbye to his trailer and his Kool-Aid and started the five- minute walked to room 302. When he got there he saw a large table with chairs all around. Amy, Vincent and Andy were already seated. Vincent was sitting beside Andy and talking a mile a minute. Andy was more focused on scratching his forehead, where some of his make up had been removed. He had apparently been called while they were removing the make up, and the way J. August figured it, this had to be pretty important if they couldn't wait for Andy to finish.
At the other end of the table Amy was waving to him, indicating that he sit next to her. He smiled and walked quickly toward her. He sat down and asked her "Any idea what's up?"
Amy gazed around, looking like she belonged in a James Bond movie. "David and Charisma quit. For good, they just stormed out." She explained.
"Whoa, that's not good. Is the show being canceled?"
"No just changed a bit." Came the all-to-familiar voice of David Greenwalt from behind J. August's shoulder.
"Okay, I don't mean to be rude or anything but, the show's called ANGEL without Angel you're gonna have to change it more than a bit." J. August pointed out.
"Well, yes, and that's why we're having this meeting. We want to hear all of you're ideas."
"My ideas?" J. August sounded skeptical.
"Not just you, the whole cast. We know we can make this work without David and Charisma, and we want you to help decide. Like one big family."
"Alright! We're a family. Isn't this great?" Vincent exclaimed.
"I am not related to that freak. Really or hypothetically, understand?" J. August said in a way that cautioned David to use the word family as a reference again.
"I think we should just end it tastefully. It lasted three years, that's pretty good-especially for a spin-off." Joss in put.
"No, we can squeeze at least another season out of it. Even with a cast of grade B actors." Greenwalt argued.
"Grade B? Boy, that guy is just askin' for trouble." J. August muttered to himself and Amy.
The next thing they heard was from Joss. "I quit, you can run this into the ground if you want, but it sure won't have my name on it!" And with that Joss stormed out.
"Sooooo." David continued. "Let's start with the suggestions."
"Man, I do NOT like the sound of this. I quit too." J. August, starting to stand. His departure was interrupted by more words from Greenwalt.
"You can't, You're under contract. Sorry." He smiled villainously, and J. August could help but picture him as one of the blood sucking vamps on the show.
"But David and Charisma did." J. August retorted.
"They had contracts on a year-to-year basis. Now sit down."
J. August reluctantly sat back down. Then glanced around the room feeling like a prisoner. Well, he thought, with any luck it'll be canceled real quick so I can end the humility.
"Any ideas?" David asked again.
"How about we call it Connor the series?" Vincent suggested.
"How about no." Andy said, wishing he could leave, this make up was really starting to itch.
"Ooh, then how about Angel Investigations." Vincent again was the only one with a suggestion.
"Yeah and that works so well without the Angel part." J. August pointed out.
"Okay then how about Investigations?" Vincent amended.
Andy responded by hitting him in the back of the head.
"Oh, like you have a better suggestion." Vincent said angrily.
"Almost anything's better than those. We could get better ratings if we made it a Variety Show." Andy answered sarcastically.
"That's it!!!" David Greenwalt screamed. "An old time variety show, oh people will eat that up."
"No way am I gonna be in a lame as-"
Amy coughed to stop the potential curse word.
"Sorry, lame variety show." J. August finished.
"Oh yes you are and you'll be the star, you and Amy. We need a title."
"Oh great now it's the Fred and Gunn Variety Hour." J. August mocked the idea.
"Exactly. That's a great title. By the way, where's Alexis?" David said in a rush.
Alexis conveniently walked in a moment later.
"Sorry I'm late." He said in his British accent.
"Oh, no problem. We were just discussing the Fred and Gunn Variety Hour." J. August informed him.
"The what?" Alexis asked in disbelief.
"It's the show. It's now the Fred and Gunn Variety Hour. David and Charisma quit." J. August explained to the baffled Alexis.
"And we're stuck with it. We're all under contract." Andy added.
"I'll have our publicist go straight to work on the ad campaign. You're all dismissed." David allowed them to leave.
"Thanks, teach." J. August said as he passed Greenwalt on his way out.
Amy walked up behind him, silently.
"Sorry about the way things turned out in there." J. August tried to comfort her.
"No, it's okay. I loved variety shows when I was a kid. This might be fun." She said bearing her biggest fake smile.
"Why are you always so darn cheerful?" J. August asked in a silly loving big brother sort of tone.
"I don't know, no one else is so I might as well be." She answered.
"Say, do happen to like cherry Kool-Aid?" J. August asked smiling- only his smile was real.
"Are you kidding? Who doesn't?" Amy answered in her most 'Duh you should have known that' kinda tone.
"Well, would you like to join me in my trailer, for some fresh Cherry Kool-Aid?" J. August asked Amy, hoping he didn't sound to hopeful for a yes.
"I'd love to. Oh and I have home made Rice Krispy bars in my trailer, should I get them?"
"Of course, maybe if we pile on enough calories, they'll fire us for being too fat." J. August joked, thinking about how it would be impossible for Amy to get fat. Like her character Fred, she could eat and eat and not gain a pound.
They laughed as they walked side by side on their way to their veg session and the sugar buzz that was sure to come from Amy's Rice Krispy bars and J. August's extra sweet Kool-Aid.