A/N: I made up the publicist, he's not real.
It was two in the morning and J. August was still awake. The sugar buzz
from Amy's Rice Crispy bars was still in effect and he was taking his mind
off the fact that bouncing off that wall over there sounded like way to
good an idea by watching old 80's sitcoms. Right now he was busy with a
Who's the Boss marathon. He loved that show. He was still laying on
his couch watching the last episode of the Who's the Boss marathon when he
realized the sun had rose. He reached to the end table for his nifty
Marvin the Martian, glow-in-the-dark, water-proof, life time warranted
watch that he always wore. He was obsessed with Marvin the Martian. Any
way, when he looked at the flashing digital numbers he saw that is was 7:26
am and jumped up. He had to be at work in 34 minutes! Normally when they
finished filming the finale he would have a week off before they shot the
opener for the next season, but this time they didn't even have a script
and David was in this whole "have the whole cast participate" mode.
He ran up the stairs to his bed room and changed his clothes quicker than you could say "Speedy Gonzalez". He raced back to the stairs and slid down the banister to save time. He dashed for the door and out to his bright blue truck, he liked his big manly truck, it was cool.
He sped the whole way to the studio, thanking God that no cops happened to see. He pulled his car into his space right as the alarm on his watch went off indicating that it was 8:00. He jumped out and jogged up to the set. He ran into the coffee girl, named Charlotte, causing her to spill a latte all over her signature Lucky Charms shirt. She was suppose to wear clothes that said "Angel: the Series" all over them, but she didn't. She wore whatever she felt like, except for her socks. Her socks always had Angel the Series written on them in black Sharpie marker.
"Sorry. I'm late and I have to get to room 302 for a conference 2 minutes ago." He apologized.
"It's okay, I'll just wear the crew shirt like I'm supposed to." She shrugged off the accident.
"Aren't you burnt or something? Please don't sue me, I have a feeling I'll be out of work in a few months anyway."
"No I'm fine. This latte was for Mr. Greenwalt, he's been such a jerk lately that I was gonna bring him his latte cold, but now I can just say I spilled it and we're out. This is even better." Charlotte smiled and bounced away, her short blonde hair bouncing as she did.
J. August shook his head and ran to the elevator, he pushed the button about 20 times before he gave up and opted for the stairs. He ran as fast as he could to the 3rd floor. By the time he got there he was panting, despite the fact that he was in fairly good shape. He ran as fast as his tired legs would carry him to room 302. He flung open the door, thinking about how stupid he would feel coming in late.
"Sorry I'm late." He started to explain his situation when he noticed that the room was empty and there was a note saying the meeting had been move to room 618 and a memo that said: The elevator in this building is broke, please use stairs until further notice.
Oh great. J. August thought as he read the memo. He headed warily out of the big conference room. He trudged over to the stairs and climbed them slowly. He didn't even remember a 6th floor. He'd heard of it, but he thought it was like when seniors tell freshmen that there's a pool on the fourth floor when there isn't even a fourth floor to begin with. He finally reached the door marked with a 6 and entered.
The hallway that led to room was gray and the floor was cold and concrete, very unlike the nicely painted halls downstairs with the lush blue carpets. When he reached 618 he opened the door, half expecting an empty room with a note that said the meeting was moved to the first floor. Instead he saw everyone sitting silently in a small room that made the hallway he was still half standing in look expertly decorated. The walls were painted a gray that reminded him of day old oatmeal. The good news was that the paint was chipping in several places, revealing the original concrete. There was a solitary light bulb hanging from the ceiling that cast a dim glow over the whole room. The overall effect made J. August feel like he was in a low budget prison movie.
Amy smiled when she saw him and waved. He walked over and sat on her left.
"What's with this room?" He asked her immediately.
"David pitched the new idea to the network, their response was cutting our budget in half and moving us here." Amy explained, trying not to sound too depressed.
J. August inhaled deeply, but quickly wished he hadn't. The air had a disgusting linger of cigarette smoke, which he detested. "So, what's the meeting about?" He asked, resisting the urge to cough.
"David said something about a publicist, but he hasn't shown yet." Amy answered.
J. August looked around to see what everyone else was doing. To Amy's right sat Alexis, who was cleaning his glasses continuously as if he hoped cleaning them enough would make this place look better. Next to him was Andy who was humming the tune to My Heart Will Go On and Andy hated Titanic so he was obviously out of it. Vincent on the other hand was the only one who looked happy. He was listening to his headphones and bobbing his head to the music. J. August wondered what he was listening to, but his thought was cut short when he heard David Greenwalt walk into the room, panting.
"Are you okay?" Amy asked, genuinely worried. J. August admired the way she always so nice to everybody. He was personally hoping Greenwalt would pass out so they could all go home.
"I'm-Fine." David said between gasps. A tall man with graying hair entered behind him. "Oh, everyone, I'd like you to meet our new publicist: Jared T."
Jared was about to introduce himself and J. August was about to ask what kinda mid life crisis name Jared T. was when Vincent started singing "MmmBop, Doo Wop, MmmBop, Yeah!" Naturally everyone looked at him like he was nuts, but at least now J. August knew what he was listening to, and he should have guessed Vincent would be a Hanson fan.
J. August ignored the still singing Vincent and asked "What kinda name is Jared T.?"
"That's for me to know and you to find out." Jared said, trying to sound suave and hip, but coming across as more old and fogie. He was wearing a bright orange suit with a lime green tie, you almost needed sun glasses just to look at him.
"How is this loser gonna help us?" J. August asked Greenwalt.
"I'm glad you asked." Jared answered for him. "I'm gonna make this show a hit."
"We were already a hit." J. August informed him rudely. Amy kicked him under the table, he took it as a sign to shut up, so he did.
"But not as big as you could be. I think the Fred and Gunn Variety Hour is going to be a big-no huge-no MEGA hit!" Jared exclaimed enthusiastically.
"What experience do you have?" Andy asked with a sigh.
"One word: Felicity." Jared said proudly.
"Lemme guess, you're the dude who told he to cut her hair right?" J. August said sarcastically, smiling at his own joke.
"It looked a lot better in the virtual make over program." Jared said defensively. J. August stopped smiling.
"Dude, are you serious?" J. August asked, but Jared didn't answer because right after J. August asked his question Alexis spoke.
"Well surely you've had other experience in being a publicist." He said hopefully.
"Oh yeah. I worked for a show in my hometown called Fun Times with Sheri and the Gang. It was the biggest hit on the Alaskan public access channel." Jared informed them, beaming with pride.
"Alaska? You hire a dude from Alaska who told Felicity to cut her hair?!" J. August asked in complete and udder disbelief.
"I've got some really great ideas for you're show. I've a great theme song in mind, and I think I can get," He looked around, trying to build suspense, "O-town to sing it."
"O-town?!" Vincent emerged from behind his headphones. "They're the best. They're better than Hanson!" Then he started to sing. "I dream about a girl who's a mix of destiny's child, just a little touch of Madonna's wild style, with Janet Jackson's smile-."
Alexis cleared his throat.
"Oh sorry that song might be a little in appropriate." He stopped for a second, thought and then started singing again. "Every six seconds my body starts-."
"Man, Shut Up!" J. August yelled at the boy-band obsessed freak sitting about four feet away from him.
"What other ideas have you got for the show?" Andy asked, sounding falsely hopeful.
"Well I was thinking matching sequenced outfits for the whole cast to where in the opening credits. Every outfit would be a different color. Isn't that great?" He didn't let anyone answer before he started again. "And I'm gonna have you all do interviews in three weeks with all the major magazines. I think I can get the Enquirer to agree to interview you." Jared smiled a big as he could.
"But, but the Enquirer is a tabloid- isn't it?" Amy asked.
"Well, yes but its highly read." Jared T. replied.
David tapped him on the shoulder. "Why don't you call TV guide, Entertainment Weekly, those kind of magazines." He suggested.
"Well okay but I was just trying to bring some class into this show." Jared answered, sounding very offended and disappointed.
J. August could already tell he was in for a very long day as he listened to Jared start again. He reclined in his chair, hoping to sleep, but the back fell of with a thud and he hit the ground hard. He stood back up, brushed himself off, sat back down on the remainder of his chair and cursed fate for forcing him to stay awake as Jared began speaking again.
He ran up the stairs to his bed room and changed his clothes quicker than you could say "Speedy Gonzalez". He raced back to the stairs and slid down the banister to save time. He dashed for the door and out to his bright blue truck, he liked his big manly truck, it was cool.
He sped the whole way to the studio, thanking God that no cops happened to see. He pulled his car into his space right as the alarm on his watch went off indicating that it was 8:00. He jumped out and jogged up to the set. He ran into the coffee girl, named Charlotte, causing her to spill a latte all over her signature Lucky Charms shirt. She was suppose to wear clothes that said "Angel: the Series" all over them, but she didn't. She wore whatever she felt like, except for her socks. Her socks always had Angel the Series written on them in black Sharpie marker.
"Sorry. I'm late and I have to get to room 302 for a conference 2 minutes ago." He apologized.
"It's okay, I'll just wear the crew shirt like I'm supposed to." She shrugged off the accident.
"Aren't you burnt or something? Please don't sue me, I have a feeling I'll be out of work in a few months anyway."
"No I'm fine. This latte was for Mr. Greenwalt, he's been such a jerk lately that I was gonna bring him his latte cold, but now I can just say I spilled it and we're out. This is even better." Charlotte smiled and bounced away, her short blonde hair bouncing as she did.
J. August shook his head and ran to the elevator, he pushed the button about 20 times before he gave up and opted for the stairs. He ran as fast as he could to the 3rd floor. By the time he got there he was panting, despite the fact that he was in fairly good shape. He ran as fast as his tired legs would carry him to room 302. He flung open the door, thinking about how stupid he would feel coming in late.
"Sorry I'm late." He started to explain his situation when he noticed that the room was empty and there was a note saying the meeting had been move to room 618 and a memo that said: The elevator in this building is broke, please use stairs until further notice.
Oh great. J. August thought as he read the memo. He headed warily out of the big conference room. He trudged over to the stairs and climbed them slowly. He didn't even remember a 6th floor. He'd heard of it, but he thought it was like when seniors tell freshmen that there's a pool on the fourth floor when there isn't even a fourth floor to begin with. He finally reached the door marked with a 6 and entered.
The hallway that led to room was gray and the floor was cold and concrete, very unlike the nicely painted halls downstairs with the lush blue carpets. When he reached 618 he opened the door, half expecting an empty room with a note that said the meeting was moved to the first floor. Instead he saw everyone sitting silently in a small room that made the hallway he was still half standing in look expertly decorated. The walls were painted a gray that reminded him of day old oatmeal. The good news was that the paint was chipping in several places, revealing the original concrete. There was a solitary light bulb hanging from the ceiling that cast a dim glow over the whole room. The overall effect made J. August feel like he was in a low budget prison movie.
Amy smiled when she saw him and waved. He walked over and sat on her left.
"What's with this room?" He asked her immediately.
"David pitched the new idea to the network, their response was cutting our budget in half and moving us here." Amy explained, trying not to sound too depressed.
J. August inhaled deeply, but quickly wished he hadn't. The air had a disgusting linger of cigarette smoke, which he detested. "So, what's the meeting about?" He asked, resisting the urge to cough.
"David said something about a publicist, but he hasn't shown yet." Amy answered.
J. August looked around to see what everyone else was doing. To Amy's right sat Alexis, who was cleaning his glasses continuously as if he hoped cleaning them enough would make this place look better. Next to him was Andy who was humming the tune to My Heart Will Go On and Andy hated Titanic so he was obviously out of it. Vincent on the other hand was the only one who looked happy. He was listening to his headphones and bobbing his head to the music. J. August wondered what he was listening to, but his thought was cut short when he heard David Greenwalt walk into the room, panting.
"Are you okay?" Amy asked, genuinely worried. J. August admired the way she always so nice to everybody. He was personally hoping Greenwalt would pass out so they could all go home.
"I'm-Fine." David said between gasps. A tall man with graying hair entered behind him. "Oh, everyone, I'd like you to meet our new publicist: Jared T."
Jared was about to introduce himself and J. August was about to ask what kinda mid life crisis name Jared T. was when Vincent started singing "MmmBop, Doo Wop, MmmBop, Yeah!" Naturally everyone looked at him like he was nuts, but at least now J. August knew what he was listening to, and he should have guessed Vincent would be a Hanson fan.
J. August ignored the still singing Vincent and asked "What kinda name is Jared T.?"
"That's for me to know and you to find out." Jared said, trying to sound suave and hip, but coming across as more old and fogie. He was wearing a bright orange suit with a lime green tie, you almost needed sun glasses just to look at him.
"How is this loser gonna help us?" J. August asked Greenwalt.
"I'm glad you asked." Jared answered for him. "I'm gonna make this show a hit."
"We were already a hit." J. August informed him rudely. Amy kicked him under the table, he took it as a sign to shut up, so he did.
"But not as big as you could be. I think the Fred and Gunn Variety Hour is going to be a big-no huge-no MEGA hit!" Jared exclaimed enthusiastically.
"What experience do you have?" Andy asked with a sigh.
"One word: Felicity." Jared said proudly.
"Lemme guess, you're the dude who told he to cut her hair right?" J. August said sarcastically, smiling at his own joke.
"It looked a lot better in the virtual make over program." Jared said defensively. J. August stopped smiling.
"Dude, are you serious?" J. August asked, but Jared didn't answer because right after J. August asked his question Alexis spoke.
"Well surely you've had other experience in being a publicist." He said hopefully.
"Oh yeah. I worked for a show in my hometown called Fun Times with Sheri and the Gang. It was the biggest hit on the Alaskan public access channel." Jared informed them, beaming with pride.
"Alaska? You hire a dude from Alaska who told Felicity to cut her hair?!" J. August asked in complete and udder disbelief.
"I've got some really great ideas for you're show. I've a great theme song in mind, and I think I can get," He looked around, trying to build suspense, "O-town to sing it."
"O-town?!" Vincent emerged from behind his headphones. "They're the best. They're better than Hanson!" Then he started to sing. "I dream about a girl who's a mix of destiny's child, just a little touch of Madonna's wild style, with Janet Jackson's smile-."
Alexis cleared his throat.
"Oh sorry that song might be a little in appropriate." He stopped for a second, thought and then started singing again. "Every six seconds my body starts-."
"Man, Shut Up!" J. August yelled at the boy-band obsessed freak sitting about four feet away from him.
"What other ideas have you got for the show?" Andy asked, sounding falsely hopeful.
"Well I was thinking matching sequenced outfits for the whole cast to where in the opening credits. Every outfit would be a different color. Isn't that great?" He didn't let anyone answer before he started again. "And I'm gonna have you all do interviews in three weeks with all the major magazines. I think I can get the Enquirer to agree to interview you." Jared smiled a big as he could.
"But, but the Enquirer is a tabloid- isn't it?" Amy asked.
"Well, yes but its highly read." Jared T. replied.
David tapped him on the shoulder. "Why don't you call TV guide, Entertainment Weekly, those kind of magazines." He suggested.
"Well okay but I was just trying to bring some class into this show." Jared answered, sounding very offended and disappointed.
J. August could already tell he was in for a very long day as he listened to Jared start again. He reclined in his chair, hoping to sleep, but the back fell of with a thud and he hit the ground hard. He stood back up, brushed himself off, sat back down on the remainder of his chair and cursed fate for forcing him to stay awake as Jared began speaking again.