Calcifer: Okay, first of all, I am upping the rating to PG, since me killing people isn't that G. Second, there is some Teá bashing in this chapter, and I know that it is only the dubbed Teá that is totally obnoxious, so you don't need to tell me. And if you really, really like Duke Devlin…well…heh…this isn't the BEST fic for you… Lastly, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or Barney *gag* thank the Gods… since if I did….well he'd be dead.
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Calcifer: Okay, after out little "Shadow Realm Adventure" courtesy of Marik, I just want to take a nap. But first I need to give you all your tickets!
All: Tickets……WHAT tickets?
Calcifer: You know- to the "Barney on Ice" Show!
All: WHAT THE H***?!
Duke Devlin: NO! You can't DO this to me! I am THE GREAT DUKE DEVLIN! I need to look great 24/7 so the girls will adore me!
Calcifer: =P Not any girls I know….
Duke's Gals: Duke! Duke! He's so cute!
Joey: NO! Not them again!
Calcifer: 'Duke' and 'Cute' don't rhyme, girls.
Duke's Gals: Ummm…well…
Calcifer: 'Duke' and FLUKE rhyme! :-} hehehe
Joey: Or how about PUKE?
Calcifer: Good one! *Snicker* Or SPOOK!
Joey: Or KOOK!
Calcifer: Or NUKE!
Yugi: This isn't nice you guys!
Both: SHADDUP!
Joey: Or REBUKE!
Calcifer: Or LIVER FLUKE!
Joey: Or DUBUQUE!
Mai: What's a 'Dubuque'?
Joey: Uh, a town in Iowa.
Mai: You're really pushing it, kid.
Joey: Yeah…
Duke: HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME LIKE THIS?!
Joey: So it is okay to make someone wear a puppy suit on national TV, but it isn't okay to find rude rhymes with your name?
Duke: Um, yeah…
Joey: Nimrod.
Duke's Gals: *Begin beating up poor Joey, yet again*
Joey: OWWW!
Calcifer: LOOK! IT IS A DUKE DEVLIN FAN-GAL CONVENTION FEATURING AN IMITATION DUKE DEVLIN!
Duke's Gals: OOOOOOO! *Run off to -cough cough- "Duke Devlin Convention"*
Calcifer: How stupid can you get? Okay, gang! Let's go to see Barney! I am so glad I don't have to stay! I can just drop you all off!
Duke Devlin/Marik/Kaiba: Oh no! If we go, you go, Missy!
Calcifer: No! No! No! That isn't how it is supposed to work at all! *Is grabbed, and stuffed into van*
Teá: I just LOVE Barney! He likes friendship!
Calcifer: Peachy. Just PEACHY. Good-o, Teá!
Teá: I love you…you love MEEEEEE!
Marik: Keep singing, and I'll blast you to the Shadow Realm, before you can say 'Baby Bop'!
Teá: We all remember what happened last time you made that threat, don't we? *Continues her discordant singing*
Calcifer: Nooooo! The pain!
Tristan: Take it like a man, Calcifer!
Calcifer: BUT I'M NOT A MAN! AND WHY WOULD A MAN TAKE IT BETTER THAN A WOMAN?! HUH?! HUH?!
Tristan: Sheesh! You 'women's lib' people…
Calcifer: And PROUD of it! GEMME OUTTA HERE!
Rex Raptor: You say this purple guy is a dinosaur? This might not be so bad!
Marik: Have you ever WATCHED Barney, Rex?
Rex: Nope…
Marik: *Snicker* Hehehe…
Pegasus: NOOOOO! I don't want to see Barney! Where is Funny Bunny!?
Duke Devlin: This is ruining my image.
Kaiba/Mai: I'M GONNA SUE!
Bakura: Well, this doesn't look like it will be much fun, does it?
Yugi: How is your Yami taking this, Bakura?
Bakura: Well… he likes to sleep late, so he doesn't really know yet…
Yami: Oh joy. So when we get there we will have a rudely awoken, and infuriated, and evil, tomb robber on our hands?
Bakura: Oh dear…
Mokuba: This could be fun!
Teá: I'm with you, Mokuba!
Both: I looooooooove youuuuuuuuuuuu….
Tristan: NOOOOOO! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
Marik: I-I-I I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
Mai: *Knuckles turning white* I-I-I see harpies! Look at the pretty, pretty harpies! HI, HARPIES!
Joey: Mai's losin' it!
Kaiba: Did Mai ever HAVE it?! I mean, please! The girl LIKES Joey…
Joey: KAIBA! Waitaminute! She likes me?!
Kaiba: *Snicker*
Mokuba: WE'RE HERE!
All except for Teá, and Mokuba: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *Are forced out of van by Teá, and Mokuba*
Guy Dressed Like Barney: Hi, guys! Do you want to learn about Traffic Safety?
Marik: I BANISH YOU TO THE SHADOW REALM!
Tristan: Wow. You actually got it right this time.
Teá: YOU SENT BARNEY TO THE SHADOW REALM!?
Marik: Oh yeah! Who's good?! Oh…wait…I'm…evil…aren't…I?
Teá: YAMI! BRING BARNEY BACK!
Yami: Um…
Teá: *Menacing glare*
Yami: But Teá!
Teá: WHAT?!
Yami: I can't do that. You'll have to talk to Pegasus or Yami Bakura…
Bakura: DON'T WAKE UP MY YAMI! o__O;;
Teá: Pegasus?
Pegasus: Why should I care about the overgrown, fuzzy, demented lizard?
Teá: *Menacing glare [A/N I bet you never knew that Teá had a menacing glare, didja?!]* Because I said so.
Pegasus: Okay. *Brings Guy Dressed Like Barney back from the Shadow Realm*
Teá: Thank you!
Tristan: Well, let's get this over with.
Mai: Pretty harpies…
Joey: Yeah, Mai…whatevah…
*Go get their seats in the front row*
Bakura: *Is hit on the head by a little boy dressed as that stupid yellow dinosaur with the tennis shoes [no idea what his name is, if you know please tell me!]* HEY!
Yami Bakura: Huh? Where are we?!
Bakura: Oh dear….
Yami Bakura: WHERE IN RA'S NAME ARE WE?!
Kaiba: Hey, Yugi! Want to switch seats?
Yugi: *Looks at Yami Bakura who is shredding a program, and shakes his head vehemently*
Teá: Look! The lights are dimming!
Marik: NO! This is wrong! I don't do Barney!
Mokuba: Look! It's Barney!
Barney: *Comes out on ice skates* HI KIDS!
Little Brats: HI BARNEY!
Rex: THAT'S NOT A DINOSAUR!
Little Brat Number One: Oh yes it is!
Rex: IT IS FURRY! DINOSAURS HAD SCALES! IS IT SUPPOSED TO BE A T-REX? ITS ARMS ARE SMALL ENOUGH, BUT IT IS SO TINY! WHERE ARE THE TEETH?! IT CAN'T BE A PLANT EATER! WHY ISN'T IT EATING THE KIDS?! WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!
Little Brat Number One: Shut up! You're a non-believer! You can't join the Barney Club, with an attitude like that!
Rex: AHHHHHH!
Little Brat Number Two: *Spills juice box on Kaiba*
Kaiba: It's the end of the world! T___T
Little Brat Number Three: *Drops candy bar on Joey*
Joey: Thanks! *Eats candy bar*
Little Brat Number One/Two/Three: WAAAAAHHHHH! HE ATE OUR CANDY!
All: IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD! NOOOOOOO!