Chapter 4: Short Cut to Candy

After completing their Fellowship, the group decided they were in desperate need for some candy. Deciding 7-Eleven was probably the best place to buy such surgery sweetness, they were all heading there, following Merry and Pippin who insisted they knew a short cut.

"Merry, Pippin, I'm not sure this is a short cut," said Galadriel nervously.

" No, no," said Merry, "it should be just pass these trees."

"But it's been 15 minutes!" complained Gimli. "If we had taken the other way it would have only taken 5!"

"Only if we had hit every red light," said Pippin.

"You know what's scary?" said Eowyn. "That actually made since."

" I know," said Legolas, "really scary."

"You know," said Boromir contemplating, "I think we should change our name."

"What do you mean?" asked Gandalf.

"Well," Boromir continued, "we're not the Fellowship of the Ring, because our mission isn't really to go destroy the Ring of Power."

"You're right!" Gimli agreed, "our mission is to actually go see a movie on time instead of getting there five minutes into it."

"I know!" yelled Pippin, "we're the Fellowship of the Movies!"

"Perfect!" everyone else agreed, and they smiled.

"Er…guys?" Gandalf said uncertainly, "are you sure this is a short cut?"


"Trust us," said Pippin, "this is a short cut."

"I don't think we should trust them," Sam muttered.

"Oh well," shrugged Strider, "can't go back now."

They rode on until Pippin and Merry stopped.

"Please don't tell us you're lost," pleaded Gandalf.

"Oh no we know where we're going," said both of them.

"Are you sure?" asked Boromir.

"I don't think we're sure about much of anything anymore," said Pippin.

"We're screwed," said Legolas.

"No," said Merry, "we're here." They both stopped just outside a grove of trees they'd been riding through and stopped right outside 7-Eleven.

"Yay!" they all yelled, and then they locked up their bikes and ran into 7-eleven. It really did have a very large selection of candy and chips and soda which the entire group refused to buy at Mt. Movie Theater because they over priced everything and they all already needed to pay for their tickets so they all figured that if they were going to buy an over-priced ticket, at least they could buy reasonably priced food.

Everyone was picking their candy and stuff when Pippin's eyes glazed over and she started walking towards the caramel isle, almost hypnotically, "Caramel…"

"Keep Pippin away from the caramel!" screamed Merry as everyone grabbed on to Pippin to keep her away from the candy. When Pippin had caramel, it did weird things to her head and she was even more hyper then Sam was (in fact, sometimes Sam was very afraid of her).

"No Pippin!" yelled Galadriel. "Fight the urge!"

"Fight it!" screamed Legolas.

By this time everyone else in the store was wondering what the hell was going on in the caramel aisle. A lot of people were staring oddly at this bunch of girls who were all yelling or holding on to this one girl with a dreamy sort of look on her face.

"Must...have...CARAMEL!" screamed Pippin.

"No!" yelled Frodo. "That's what they want you to think! It's evil Pippin! Evil!"

Now everyone was really confused either because now the girls were all calling each other by these weird nicknames while yelling something about the evils of something or other.

"I have an idea!" said Boromir She picked up a Dark Chocolate Dove Bar from the freezer and showed it to Pippin. "Look at the Dark Chocolate Dove Bar Pippin, doesn't it look good?"

Pippin stopped trying to grab for the caramel, thought for a second, and then took the Dove Bar.

The other girls gave a sigh of relief as they let go of her, but it seemed as though Pippin wasn't as happy with the dove bar, and grabbed the Milk Duds' and Milky Way's anyway.

"No!" screamed Merry as she fell dramatically to her knees.

"I'm sorry Merry," said solemnly Gandalf, "but we've lost her."

"NO!" she screamed even louder.

People in the store started trying to leave, very quickly, because they knew what was going to happen next. And then, not a minute later, two men came out to force Pippin and Merry (who were the ones making the most noise) out of the store. Unfortunately, this only made things much, much worse.

"AH! The orcs have gotten us!" they both screamed and started flailing their arms as if they were being forcibly kidnapped by a band of Uruk Hai who has just killed one of their best friends.

The remaining group took a candy bar, or 'sword', and started attacking the people who were taking Merry and Pippin away. Now the remaining people in the store were really scared and decided to just lay low in the frozen section.

The battle raged as the Fellowship of the Movie kicked, hit, and (in Sam's case) bit.

Well, amid all the kicking, screaming, and hitting, and biting, they somehow managed to get pictures of all the Fellowship because once they were out of the store they started tapeing 'Do not Sell to these People' signs up.

"Well," said Eowyn, getting up and brushing herself off, "we're safe. I guess we can't go to 7-eleven anytime soon, though."

"Oh well," said Sam as she shrugged, "Want to hit the mall?"

"Yeah!" everyone yelled in unison as they unlocked their bikes and started heading for the mall.