Calcifer: Okay, thanks to all you reviewers! Rebbie you get to be in here, you lucky pig, however you have never read it… how does that work?! Okay we have a long one for y'all today!
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Calcifer: Well… let the torture continue…
Marik: What are you doing to us this time?
Calcifer: Actually it isn't so bad. You will all be teaching at a school.
Tristan: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Calcifer: Did I mention that 90% of the student body is female?
Tristan: *Wipes off drool* Okay. I'm IN!
Joey: Me too!
Duke Devlin: Me three!
Serenity: Why are you drooling, Tristan?
Tristan: Oh! Hi, Serenity…
Serenity: _ Why were you drooling?!
Tristan: No reason.
Mai: Well, let's get this over with.
*At the school*
Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: Hello, young substitutes!
Joey: Yo.
Tristan: Where are the students?
Mai: What are you WEARING?!
Duke Devlin: Do you have a dice class?
Serenity: Hello! ^__^
Marik: *Silence*
Kaiba: This is such a waste of my time…
Bakura: Hello, Ma'm!
Yami Bakura: Can I send you to the Shadow Realm?
Teá: Friendship is good!
Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: The students haven't arrived yet. I am wearing a Terrance Del Bano original. No we don't have a 'dice class', whatever that is. And no you can't send me to "the Shadow Realm". Hehe you kids and your bands…
Joey: Why did you have a need for so many subs?
Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: Well many of our teachers are on vacation, sick, or on a faculty retreat. Therefore we have no teachers.
Tristan: Okay…
Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: Here are your assignments. *AHEM* Mr. Wheeler?
Joey: Yeah?
Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: You shall be teaching English…
Joey: But, but, but, BUT!
Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: No buts, you can thank me later! ^__^ Miss Valentine?
Mai: Yeah?
Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: Science.
Mai: Okay…
Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: Mr. Bakura?
Bakura: Yes? Do you mean me or my Yami?
Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: Yami? Er… yes. Um… right. You shall teach our history class. Mr. Muto?
Yugi: Yes?
Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: You get to teach gym class.
Yugi: Uh, what are they learning?
Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: Basketball! ^___^
Yugi: Oh… great…
Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: Miss Gardener?
Teá: Yes?
Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: You get to be our stand-in psychologist! You shall solve friendship issues, and give advice to our lovely students.
Teá: *Faints with happiness… to be PAID to give friendship speeches…*
Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: Mr. Devlin? Mr. Taylor?
Duke Devlin: Yes?
Tristan: Yeah?
Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: You two get to teach auto body shop!
Tristan: Just how many girls are in this course?
Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: Um…. Three.
Duke Devlin: Great. Just Great.
Tristan: *Sigh* Okay.
Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: LOVELY! ^________^ Mr. Ishtar?
Marik: *Silence*
Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: You get to teach Math!
Marik: *SILENCE*
Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: Mr. Kaiba?
Kaiba: What?! __
Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: You get to teach the computer skills course.
Kaiba: YES! BWAHAHAHAH!
Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress And last, but not least… Miss Wheeler?
Serenity: Hello! ^___^
Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: You shall teach our home economics course.
Serenity: Oh… okay then…
Mrs. Vrendinilla Snitch, Headmistress: Lovely. Here are your schedules! Run off and teach now!
*At English Class*
Joey: Okay… um hi, class.
Class of 18 girls and 2 boys: Hello, Mr. Wheeler.
Joey: Uh. Don't call me that! Call me Joey.
Class: Okay, Mr. Joey.
Joey: *Rolls eyes* That'll work… Okay what book are we reading today?
Mary-Sue: We are reading A Midsummer's Night Dream by William Shakespeare.
Joey: Okay… what? I mean, oh that. All right, let's take a look at the first page….
*In Math Class*
Marik: *Silence*
Class: *Skeptical looks*
Marik: Okay. I am here to teach you about mathematics.
Girl named Rebbie: *Swoon*
Marik: Okay… I didn't know math was that powerful…
Rebbie: *Drools* Marik…
Marik: ??? Okay. This is how you balance an equation. Take 31= 3x + 5x + 7
Class: Okay…
Rebbie: *Bats eyelashes*
Marik: And then you… and then…….you… yeah. OKAY! You need to murder seven from each side, so take your millenium items and stab the seven…
Class: 0___o
Rebbie: *Takes imitation Millenium Rod, and stabs it into her paper* How was that?
Marik: *Looks at mutilated page* Pretty good. For a beginner…
Rebbie: I'M NOT A BEGINNER! *Sob sob*
Marik: Okay, then… So now we have: 24= 3x + 5x, so you have to combine like terms… so um take the 5x and add it to the 3x and you get…… *Counts on fingers* 8x! 8x = 24! Then you chop each side into eight pieces to get…. X= 24! Tada!
Class: *Blink*
Rebbie: *Applauds* BRAVO!
Marik: Thanks…
*In History Class*
Bakura: And so in 800 B.C.E Homer wrote the Odyssey. The Greek civilization was very advanced, and they…
Yami Bakura: *In his soul room* This is so boring! Who cares about the Greeks?! *Takes over Bakura* All right, class. Enough about the Greeks; it is time to learn about EGYPTIAN history!
Class: Okay…
Yami Bakura: All right, the highest rank in Egypt was the tomb robber.
Smart-aleck girl: I thought that it was the Pharaoh.
Yami Bakura: Well it wasn't.
Yami: *Bursts in* It was TOO the Pharaoh!
Yami Bakura: Tcha. I am the one with my memory intact. I think I would know about it better than you!
Yami: *Glare* Listen up, kids. This man… well, no. Not really a man… this spirit- there we go- is a total liar. Don't believe a word he says! He-
Yugi: *Drags Yami off*
Yami: You haven't seen the last of meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Yami Bakura: Right then. Now that the hyperactive pharaoh from the Underworld is gone…
Bakura: That isn't nice!
Yami Bakura: BACK TO YOUR SOUL ROOM!
Bakura: Meep! *Goes away*
Yami Bakura: We shall learn the correct way to steal gold from a tomb…
*At home-ec*
Serenity: Hello, class! ^__^ Let's make muffins!
Class: Okay!
Serenity: And here about my amazing brother Joey Wheeler!
Class: Um…
Serenity: Okay, let's put our batter into the pans, and put them in the oven… since there are so many of you it will take a long time, sooooo…..
*Half an hour later*
Serenity: …And then he showed up at the hospital and told me that I would be okay, and that my operation would go well…
*Half an hour later*
Class: Z___Z
Serenity: And then Tristan took me to visit Joey, but he was possessed by your math teacher [Spoiler, SORRY!]
Class: *All asleep on desks, drool dripping onto their homework*
*Back at math class*
Marik: Okay, all finished! That is how you balance any equation. See you all in my nightmares. *Leaves class*
Rebbie: *Jumps up and follows him*
Marik: Can I help you?
Rebbie: Yeah…
Marik: Okay. With what?
Rebbie: *Begins drooling again*
Marik: Alrighty then. *Keeps walking*
Rebbie: *Follows a few feet behind*
Marik: Look, kid…
Rebbie: Rebbie.
Marik: Okay, Rebbie, listen up.
Rebbie: *Staring at him*
Marik: You have to… *Loses train of thought because she isn't blinking*
Rebbie: @___@ Marik…
Marik: Please get away from me. NOW!
Rebbie: @___@ Marik…
Marik: *Begins walking away very fast, taking many winding turns, yet Rebbie stays on his heals*
Rebbie: MARIK! LET'S GO TRAMPLE DAISYS TOGETHER!
Marik: *Begins running*
Rebbie: *Runs too*
Marik: *Runs into Tristan and Duke Devlin*
Tristan: Watch where you're going, Ishtar!
Marik: She's following me!
Duke Devlin: She's kinda cute, in a strange sort of way…
Rebbie: Marik….
Marik: I hate to say this but… can you…
Tristan: Yes?
Marik: Well…
Duke Devlin: What…?
Marik: Help? Me?
Tristan: What was that?
Duke Devlin: So sorry. We can't hear you?
Rebbie: *Becomes rabid* MARIK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Marik: Help? Me?
Tristan: Still can't hear you…
Marik: HELP ME! OKAY?! YES! ME! THE PSYCHOTIC, YET VERY SUAVE, MARIK ISHTAR IS ASKING FOR HELP! DEAL WITH IT!
Tristan: You just had to say 'please'.
Marik: *GLARE*
Duke Devlin: Don't you have a class to go to, kid?
Rebbie: AACK! It's time for science!
Marik: Phew.
Rebbie: Come on, Marik-Warik.
Marik: WHAT?! NO!
Rebbie: *Drags him off…*