Somewhere, a harry potter fanfic

Disclaimer: As usual, all things Harry Potter are not mine – they belong to the amazingly talented J.K. Rowling and whatever companies are lucky enough to be in on all of this. "Somewhere" is from the musical "West Side Story." (I love show tunes; they all tell a story!)

I'd just like to say thanks to my newest little plot bunny! His name is Draco, he's pink and fluffy, and he's not happy. I feel sorry for him, but it's D.E.'s doing, not mine. She gave him to me. *author dodges the rotten vegetables being thrown at her and points an accusing finger at the defenseless hobbit* Go after her with your pitchforks and torches! *author then cowers in the corner of her box, trembling in fear* Please don't hurt me! I love him just as much as the next Slytherin (even though in here he's not very nice)! But if you think Draco in a bunny suit is bad, you should see what she tried to do to my Sevvie… *shudders at the thought* Let's just say it was wrong. Very wrong.

A/N: This is the sequel to "Who Will Love Me As I Am?" and occurs immediately following the events described in that story. If you haven't read that story yet I suggest you do, simply because this story will make much more sense. To all who are unaware, this is a Severus/Hermione fic – if this squicks you at all, please turn back now or at least don't flame. To everyone else: Enjoy!

They broke apart and she looked up into his eyes. He smiled; she couldn't help but think that it made him look years younger. He pulled his fingers through her hair and drew her close. "This isn't going to be easy," he said quietly, his rich baritone voice making her heart race. She had never noticed how smooth it was before now. Sensual. Erotic.

"I know," she replied. Nothing else mattered to her anymore.

He left her and sat on the bed, head in hands. "We'll have to keep this from everyone…."

She joined him. "I know."

"And I guess we'll have to tell Dumbledore…."

"That makes sense." He probably already knows anyway, just like he seems to know everything else that goes on at this school.

Suddenly he shot up. "Miss Granger, do you even realize the difference in our ages?" he asked urgently, his eyes icy once more. Did he honestly believe she didn't know that he was old enough to be her father? She simply didn't care, that was all.

"Please – Hermione…" she began.

"Right. Hermione. Well, do you?"

That did it. She was practically an adult – and for once sure of her feelings – and here he was treating her like… well, like she was Neville, quite frankly. "Do you think I'm dense? Of course I know!" She, too, stood up and despite her height attempted to stare him down.

So much for romance, she thought.

*~*~*

Who was this creature standing before him? The fire in her eyes, the fierceness of her gaze engulfed him and set his soul aflame. He wanted to grab her and smother that flame with the coldness of his heart, but he knew that was impossible now – she had melted his icy walls and he was defenseless. Giving in, he gave her a loving look. "I'm sorry," he said huskily.

"You're sorry? You're treating me like I'm a child!"

She obviously wasn't going to make this easy for him. "You are a child." He turned from her and hated himself when he saw her face in his mirror. She looked crushed.

"Fine. I'll go." She stripped off his robe and stormed toward the door, ready to leave. She stopped only when she felt his hand on her shoulder.

"Wait."

Exasperated, she turned to face him. "What?"

"I really am sorry."

"Oh? What for?" she asked sarcastically. He was shocked at the tone of her voice, so much like his own.

"Miss…er…Hermione…. I know that's not you, so stop it," he said harshly. "Now just listen. I do have feelings for you, but 'student-teacher relations…'" he began in a mocking voice.

"'…Are strictly forbidden,'" she finished.

While it was common sense, he felt she deserved some credit. "Leave it to you to know that," he smirked. She smiled, and he felt a bit of relief. He continued, happier. "Anyway, this is just so… new. I'm sorry if I upset you."

She snuggled up against him once more. It seemed her temper burned out as quickly as it was kindled. "I know you wouldn't hurt me on purpose." She sighed and looked up at him. "I guess I'm just a little nervous."

"Me, too." He ran his fingers through her auburn hair again – oh, how he loved those curls! – getting lost in her scent. It was sweet, strong, and he wanted nothing more than to stay with her forever. He knew he would have to keep his steely exterior around everyone else, but he would never be the same. All he wanted was a place where they could be together, always.

There's a place for us,

Somewhere a place for us…

There had to be. Considering his past, how could he deal with the world?

He looked into her shining eyes and pulled her closer, wanting to keep her to himself.

*~*~*

An hour later she was sitting in a large green armchair – how typically Slytherin, she thought – slowly sipping from a cup of herbal tea. A small fire was burning in the hearth and a brown hardbound book lay on her stomach, forgotten. Her eyes had wandered to his face: his eyes closed with heavy lids, his expression one of content unlike anything she'd ever seen before. Is that because of me? Never in her life had she known a man who looked so child-like…. Severus Snape, child-like? Yet there was an innocence there – an innocence that was unmarred by the evident darkness he had seen in his life – and a peacefulness that was so often shadowed by the harshness of his person. She knew she could be happy with the man sitting before her, the man who had suddenly opened his eyes and given her a small smile.

"Hello." His voice cracked on the simple word and his expression became clouded. Embarrassment? He cleared his throat and tried again. "Comfortable?" His focus shifted to her legs, draped nonchalantly over the edge of the chair. She immediately dropped them to the floor, nearly spilling her remaining tea in the process and causing the book on her lap to tumble to her feet. As she bent to pick it up, she felt his eyes follow her every move. "Romeo and Juliet?" She nodded; it had always been one of her favorites and she had been pleasantly surprised to find it among his collection. "I had almost forgotten that I owned that." He sat up in his own armchair and gently took her hand. She wished life could always be like this.

Peace and quiet and open air

Wait for us somewhere.

His fingers slowly massaging her palm, she relaxed, feeling the warmth of his love as she felt the warmth of the embers before her.

Suddenly there was a light knock on the door behind her. Severus – Severus? She marveled at her own boldness – quickly let go of her hand and went to answer it.

"Albus." She could hear the edge of ice she had always associated with him return to his voice.

"Severus. May I come in?"

"Of course."

*~*~*

When he awoke and found her gazing at him in such a way, he knew that she was more than just a dream. He smiled at her faintly and croaked out a simple "Hello." Clearing his throat, his eyes went to where her legs were flung toward the fire, her toes wiggling freely. "Comfortable?" He saw realization dawn on her face as she hastily put them on the floor. There was a muffled thud as a book fell to the ground, causing her to bend and carefully grab it by its spine. "Romeo and Juliet?" he asked. She nodded, and he saw her eyes glisten in that sacred excitement he had rarely known in another; he had always assumed that no one else felt the passion for books that he did.

"I had almost forgotten that I owned that," he commented, taking her hand. It was true – his tastes these days tended to be more on the academic side. He hadn't read one of the Bard's works in years.

They sat that way, hand-in-hand, for what seemed like an eternity, but still it wasn't long enough. He was startled to find his thoughts interrupted by a sudden tapping on the door, which he quickly went to answer. What he saw there brought him solidly back into reality.

"Albus," he said, trying his best to sound like he wasn't caught completely off guard.

"Severus. May I come in?" the headmaster asked cordially.

"Of course." He gestured to his armchair, offering it to his guest. He only hoped Hermione had enough sense – of course she does, he silently reprimanded himself – to go along with whatever he said. Albus was a man who could be trusted, but he was also a man of extremely strong principles. Severus knew it would be very hard to keep something like this from him.

"Oh, stop looking like such a sourpuss, Severus," Dumbledore said quietly as he sat down. Severus leaned against the fireplace mantel. "You look like I just told you you'll have to wear a pink tutu and pointe shoes to dinner tonight! With such enchanting company I don't see how you couldn't possibly be enjoying yourself." Hermione blushed at the compliment, and Severus tried to begin explaining. The old man chuckled. "Now don't think you two are hiding anything from me. I saw you out by the lake earlier this morning and was just coming to make sure you were feeling better, Miss Granger."

"Yes, quite," she managed in her shock. She chanced to catch Severus's eye before the headmaster continued.

"I'm glad to hear it. That's all I needed to know, so I'll be on my way then." Dumbledore rose and turned to Severus, speaking to him in hushed tones. "I cannot say I am entirely pleased with the situation, but I do agree that you both deserve some happiness in your lives." He went to the door, Severus following him. As Severus stood there with the door open, he spoke to them once more. "I hope there's no need to remind you that student-teacher relations are strictly forbidden. That said, I wish you the best of luck." And with a swish of his robes, he was gone.

"I don't think I'll ever understand that man," Severus said, shaking his head. He closed the door and stared at it.

"Maybe not, but it sounds to me like he just gave us his blessing." Hermione's hand appeared on his shoulder.

He turned and embraced her, a grin on his face. "I think you're right." Unfortunately, his practicality soon took over. "Well, how should we go about this?"

"As you said before, it's probably not a good idea to let people know about us. We should at least wait until I'm out of school."

There's a time for us,

Someday a time for us…

She sank back into her armchair as he resumed his spot by the fire. "But I don't see why we can't still be together."

"I agree. In spite of that, I hope you won't expect special treatment in class. You're one of the most talented Potions students I've ever taught, and if I were not as harsh on you I would be doing you a great disservice." It was true – his respect for her intellect surpassed that which he felt for many of his colleagues.

She seemed amazed that he thought so highly of her skill. She hid the astonishment on her face at once and replaced it with a confident smirk. "I would never expect anything of the like. I enjoy a good challenge." Maybe placing her next to Malfoy for the past two years wasn't the wisest of decisions. He seems to have been a bad influence on her. Still, they were the best in their level and, considering their history together, often made his lessons… interesting, to say the least.

"You have more Slytherin attributes than you let on, Miss Granger."

She sighed. "I told you to call me Hermione, Professor."

"Very well. I will still expect you to address me as 'Professor' in the classroom; however, within my quarters you may call me Severus." It was rare that he allowed anyone such a privilege. Anyway, most people preferred to use his surname.

"Severus. Thank you for that." She gazed thoughtfully at her hands. "I think I'll make some more tea. Would you like some?"

"I'll make it. It's been a tiring morning and I've had a lie-down. Why don't you rest? You need it more than I do."

"That would be wonderful. Again, thank you." She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. He watched her for a moment as her breathing steadied, smiling to himself.

*~*~*

"Miss Granger, would you stay back a moment? I need to speak with you."

Hermione merely nodded, replying, "Yes, Professor." Her N.E.W.T. level Potions class was one of her favorites – she found the material challenging and intriguing – and she had always put in extra hours of work. Her classmates knew this and simply assumed that every time she was held after class it was in regard to her efforts. It gave her a chance to be alone with Severus without the other students' interference. No one else would come by the dungeons outside of class.

There was only one person who seemed suspicious. Draco Malfoy, whom she had the misfortune to sit by, narrowed his eyes at her and said, "Whatever could it be this time, Granger? Working on something to help Weasley with his Quidditch? Or trying to make your embarrassing parents disappear, mudblood? Good luck. It'll never work." He sneered at her, then gathered his materials and left.

As the other students filed out of the dungeon, she slowly made her way to the front of the room. "You wanted to see me, Professor?" She looked at the ground, trying to appear uncomfortable and nervous.

"Ah, yes. Miss Granger." He stopped and glanced over her shoulder as she heard the door close. They were alone. He put his finger under her chin and tilted her head up until their eyes met.

Time together with time to spare,

Time to learn, time to care.

His hand cupped her cheek and she leaned into his touch. It felt so right. Every time she was with him she knew where she belonged. When they were apart, she longed for his cool fingers tracing patterns on her skin.

There they stood, lost in each other's eyes.

They never even realized someone else was there.

*~*~*

Harry and Ron usually waited for Hermione to arrive before they went to the Great Hall. Sometimes their impatience got the better of them and they ate without her, but today they decided they would find her and drag her away from her schoolwork.

"She needs to eat eventually, Harry," Ron told him as they left the library in a hurry. "Boy, Madam Pince sure seemed like her knickers were in a twist!"

"Well, Peeves did manage to knock over more than half the Restricted section. With all those books shrieking at her, I think we're lucky we got out of there alive." Harry rubbed his right ear then shook his head. "How long d'you reckon this ringing's going to last?"

"Huh? Did you say something?" Ron asked.

"Never mind."

"Maybe she's in the dungeons. Doesn't she have Potions before lunch?"

"I think so." The two of them started in that direction. "One thing I don't miss is Snape making my life miserable. It's bad enough just dealing with the Slytherins, but at least they can't fail me."

"Or expel you."

"Snape can't do that either. Remember when we ran into the Whomping Willow with your dad's car? He said that if it was up to him we would have been gone in an instant. Luckily for us, though, it wasn't." Harry stopped and faced Ron. "Hermione seems like she's actually enjoying his class this year. Have you noticed how much time she's been spending down here?"

Ron shrugged. "She's always that way when it comes to school."

"It seems different somehow." Silence answered him.

After a minute, they started walking again and soon reached the door to Snape's classroom. Ron opened it slowly, afraid of startling Snape and earning them both detention. He peered in and his eyes widened in disbelief.

"What is it, Ron?" Harry whispered.

Ron pointed at something, stammering unintelligibly. Then he swallowed and said shakily, "Look."

Harry, nervous to see what had caused his friend's reaction, cautiously looked into the empty classroom. He blinked several times, making sure what he saw was real. "Hermione and… and… Snape?" He glanced at Ron, who nodded in return. "No. He must have used some kind of draught or charm or something on her…. Hermione would never…. How could she…? Are you sure we haven't walked into some kind of dream?"

Someday,

Somewhere…

Ron just stared at Harry in shocked silence. "I don't believe…" Harry began as he backed away from the door, closely followed by Ron.

They turned and ran up the stairs, trying desperately to escape from what they had seen.

*~*~*

"Am I imagining things? I thought I heard someone," Hermione said suddenly, breaking the stillness of the otherwise quiet dungeon.

"The door's open."

"Wasn't it closed?"

"Someone was here. Someone saw us." Severus swept past her, his eyes darting around the room, searching for any visible signs of intrusion. "Whoever they were, all they did was leave an open door." He slammed it shut and went into his office, fuming. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he began pacing the room. He noticed her feet in the doorway and paused.

"Everything will be fine." He looked up at her. She gave him a reassuring smile. "You'll see."

"You don't understand. If the Dark Lord catches wind of this, I'll be worse than dead. 'Severus Snape, double agent, falls for Hermione Granger, m…muggle-born student.'" Watch it, Severus. You almost called her a mudblood. Countless years spent surrounded by pureblooded Death Eaters had nearly left his lips. "Simply put, he would not be pleased."

"Then why don't we just leave? We could go somewhere, anywhere…."

We'll find a new way of living…

"And leave the Order with no access to inside information? I'd rather die." And I probably will. "Besides, you have to finish school."

"Alright. We'll just have to be more careful." Her youth was clouding her judgment.

More careful. He didn't want to say it, but he did. "Perhaps we should put things on hold for now." He hated seeing that crushed look. "We can still see each other. It's like you said – discretion must now be our creed."

"Can I see you after dinner then?" She seemed so unsure, nothing like the assertive beauty he knew she could be. He couldn't stand hurting her anymore than he already had.

"Come by my office around eight o'clock."

She beamed at him. "Eight o'clock. I'll be here." Still smiling, she left.

He let out a sigh and sat at his desk. Pulling some third year essays out of the bottom drawer, he reluctantly began reading the first of many.

*~*~*

They cornered her in the common room that night. She could see the cold fury in Harry's normally warm and caring eyes, and the infamous Weasley rage was clearly written on Ron's face.

"So you thought you couldn't trust us?"

"No, Harry. It's not…."

"And of all people, that slimy git!" Ron exclaimed, his fists clenched at his sides.

"Ron, you have to underst…" she tried again.

"We don't have to do anything, Hermione. But why?"

She exploded. "Why? What do you know about him? In the past seven years, have either of you taken the time to get to know the man? He's decent and kind, and considering the way his students treat him, I'm surprised he still bothers with any of them. You never gave him the time of day, except to criticize him. All that matters is that I care for him more deeply than you could ever know. I thought you were my friends, but apparently I've never been more than a resource for the two of you, doing the work you were too lazy to do yourselves. Real friends would be there for me. Real friends would support me and my decision. If I can't rely on you to do that, then our entire relationship was a waste." She stormed to the portrait entrance, tears streaming down her face. She spun around again. "Thank you for six memorable years." Then she ran through the opening and disappeared down the corridor with the Fat Lady yelling after her.

"Girls," Ron finally said. He turned to Harry. "I don't think I'll ever understand her."

"I don't think we're supposed to. I think we're supposed to just accept her."

We'll find a way of forgiving,

Somewhere.

*~*~*

"You're early," Severus remarked as he glanced up from the parchment he was reading. When he saw the tears on her cheeks he quickly marked a grade at the top of the essay and stuffed it back into his drawer. "What is it? Did something happen?" he inquired as he got out of his chair and went to put his arm around her.

She sniffled and wiped her eyes. "It's nothing important."

"If it's not important than why are you crying about it? Come in and I'll start a fire," he said as he escorted her to his chambers.

"I'm fine."

"I still don't believe you." He held her hand as she sat down, staying by her side. He began to massage it, the idea of a fire abandoned.

She took a deep breath. "It's Harry and Ron." Isn't it always? He nodded for her to continue. "I think they're the ones who saw us earlier."

"And it upsets you that your two best friends know how you feel?"

"They thought I didn't trust them and that I'm making a mistake and that you're a horrible person and that…." She broke into gasping sobs and he tried to comfort her.

"Does it really matter what they think?"

"Well, no," she hiccoughed.

"As long as you're happy, why should it matter?"

"I guess it shouldn't."

"Right. After this war is over, nothing will stand between us. I won't let it," he told her encouragingly.

There's a place for us,

A time and place for us...

"Our time will come, Hermione. But until then, I think you should try and take care of some things. Now how about I start that fire?"

*~*~*

It was late when she finally made her way back to a deserted Gryffindor Tower. Being with Severus helped her put things in perspective, and she knew what she had to do. She was headed for the girls' dormitory when she heard quiet arguing from the corner. Inching closer, she was surprised to discover it was Ron and Harry talking about her.

"She seems like she really has feelings for him."

"But she's practically been ignoring us!"

"We haven't exactly been the most attentive friends, Ron."

Ron spluttered. "That's not the point…."

"Then what is the point?" she interjected.

Harry took it in stride. "Hermione, the point is that you're our best friend and you were right, even if Ron won't admit it. We've been talking about it all night, and if it this is what you want, then I'm happy for you." He elbowed Ron.

"I'm happy for you, too," Ron said grudgingly. "But if he hurts you in any way…."

"I understand. Thank you."

"And if a single person gives you trouble, just let us know. We'll be there for you." Harry had grown to be a compassionate and caring person amidst all of the turmoil in his young life, and Hermione appreciated it now more than ever.

Hold my hand and we're halfway there,

Hold my hand and I'll take you there...

She knew she would need her friends' strength as much as her own in the time ahead. Their ability to accept her for who she was made it that much easier to forgive them. She gave them a hug and a kiss on the cheek, causing them both to blush, and climbed the stairs to her room.

Hermione Granger went to sleep that night with a lighter heart and hope for the future. What happened the next day shattered both.

*~*~*

Severus couldn't sleep. He had received a disturbing letter from Voldemort as he was preparing for bed, and its contents had driven all else from his mind.

"As a test of your loyalty," it had read, "I would like for you to infiltrate the Ministry of Magic. Our former operative achieved little and has since been removed. Discover all you can about the resistance and Fudge's plans. Do not fail." The only problem with that was if he suddenly abandoned his position at Hogwarts it would surely expose him as a spy to either side. He had to see Dumbledore immediately.

"Severus? Are you there?" he heard the headmaster's voice ask urgently. He whirled around and saw Dumbledore's face in his hearth. "I don't wish to use this longer than necessary. Please come to my office." The old man's head vanished and Severus left swiftly.

After the headmaster had greeted him and he was seated, solemnity overtook Dumbledore's usually congenial face.

"Severus, a matter of grave importance has arisen within the Order – we do not know the whereabouts of Voldemort's most trusted followers. I have just been informed that Lucius Malfoy and the other imprisoned Death Eaters recently escaped from Azkaban and have gone into hiding. I ask you to learn their locations and report back to us."

Not forgetting his original intentions, Severus said, "Headmaster, I must show you something."

"Yes?"

Severus pulled Voldemort's letter from his robes. "An owl delivered this to me a short time ago. I was on my way to see you about it when you summoned me."

"Voldemort sent this to you?" Severus nodded. Dumbledore took the letter and read over it. "He has long been doubtful of your loyalty. I'll see what I can do."

"Thank you, Headmaster."

"Once this is dealt with, however, it is imperative that you learn where Lucius and the others are hiding."

"I understand." He rose out of his chair and went to the door, his thoughts on Hermione and how all of this would affect her. Would she be better off without him in her life or would he be the one to keep her safe?

"Severus?" He turned back and the old man smiled at him. "I trust you will do the right thing." How does he always know what I'm thinking?

*~*~*

Hermione awoke with a song in her heart. She was loved by a wonderful man, her friends were by her side, and everything was right in the world.

It was Saturday. Severus had promised to meet her in his office after breakfast. She ate hurriedly and descended into the dungeons, anxious to be with him. When she got to his office she sensed something was wrong.

He was grading papers at his desk, but when he saw her he simply asked, "Would you meet me tonight by the lake? There won't be any moon, so we shouldn't be seen."

"Of course. Ten o'clock?"

He nodded tersely and resumed his reading. She walked away, confused and dismayed.

*~*~*

He waited for her by the far edge of the lake. He had made the hardest decision of his life and he hoped she would understand.

When she arrived she had a questioning look on her face, almost as though she knew what he had to say. "Is there a reason for this?" She shivered in the cold despite her heavy cloak.

"I have something to say to you."

"And you couldn't have said it inside, where it's warmer?"

"No. I couldn't risk anyone overhearing us."

"Oh."

"Hermione, you don't want to be with me, and don't say you do," he said as she opened her mouth to do just that. "The danger for you – for both of us – is too high. Only last night I was asked by the Order to perform a daunting task that could reveal to Voldemort that I'm a traitor. Last night I also received instructions from the Dark Lord, and he will kill me if I fail. That's no way for you to live your life, always wondering whether I'll be coming home, always worrying that this mission could take me from you. I don't want that for you. You're too young."

"I don't care."

"I know, but I do." He touched her face and could feel the wetness on her cheeks.

"But I love you and I want to be with you!"

He couldn't answer her. The pain was too much for him. "Hermione, please…." He felt the world slipping through his fingers.

"I'd willingly risk my life if it meant I'd get to spend one more moment with you."

Her desire was no match for his determination. "Don't make this any harder than it already is, Hermione. Please just accept it."

She was silent and he could hear the wind rippling the water.

"I love you, Severus," she whispered. She turned away and set out for the castle.

The darkness enveloped her, wrapping around her body like some dreaded death shroud, and she became one with the night.

As he watched her disappear into oblivion, he felt his heart being wrenched in twain. Yet he knew it was for the best; his mind told him what his heart could not – though he would always love her, he could never allow his past to become her future. It isn't fair to her, he told himself.

And so, silent tears running down his face, a bitter void in his heart, Severus Snape walked away from the only joy he had ever known in his long and tortured life.

Somehow,

Someday,

Somewhere.