Bla, bla, the Barney thing didn't work, we don't own Star Wars, screw off.
**************************************************************************
"Han? Han? Please, open up!"
"No, he's going to kill us!"
Luke sighed, before a metaphorical light bulb flashed on! He put on a high voice.
"Han, it's Leia, I've decided that I really do love you!"
"Nice try Farm boy, but we smuggler types are smarter than that. No, Chewie, electrical socket bad, light bulb good!"
Luke was beginning to get frustrated. He had been trying to coax Han and Chewie out of the closet for the last half hour, and they were still stubbornly attached to the lock. Why did they have a lock in the closet anyway? That's it, no more Mr. Nice Jedi.
"HAN, OPEN UP THE FORCE BE DAMNED DOOR RIGHT NOW, OR I'LL GO DARK SIDE ON YOUR-"
*Click*
"Much better."
*********************************** Meanwhile *****************************
GT was calmly trying to decide what to do. OK, I lied, she was screaming into a pillow and hyperventilating while Fett was trying to figure out what the frick was wrong with this kid.
"AAAAHAAAA, SHITZU, I SCREWED UP THE TIMELINE!! WE'RE ALL GUNNA DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!"
"What do you mean, 'screwed up the timeline?" Fett inquired, captured by the odd statement.
"I can't tell you, because then you might not take Han Solo to Jabba or you might know that Princess Leia is the bounty hunter with the thermal detonator, or that you're supposed to fall into the Sarlacc, or that the rebels are going to attack the Imperial base on Endor while Wedge Antillies and Lando Calrissian destroy the Death Star and Vader turns to the light side and kills the Emperor before he dies and the rebels start up the New Republic and you get rescued from the Sarlacc by the freak with the Turban and. Oops."
Boba stared. He had encountered a pre-cog only once before, so he knew what a rare thing it was to come by. The Icarii Queen, Selestrain (Ya, I'm not making this up, go read some comics), had offered him a glance into the future. He had declined, thinking only of the bounty some fool wishing to know of future events would pay, but as it turned out, he was to know anyway. Wait- fall into the Sarlacc?
"You weren't going to tell me that I was going to be eaten?"
"I was!" GT defended. "I would have, the day before, so that the other information could be kept quiet."
Well, this was getting fairly confusing, he realized, but for the most information, one should start at the beginning.
"How did you come by this information to begin with?"
"Uh, long story."
"I'm not going anywhere."
"*sigh* Well. . ."
*********************************Meanwhile********************************
Chelsey ran through the halls of the Star Destroyer, screaming profanities that I don't know if I'm allowed to write down in a PG 13 fic.
"Stupid! *thunk* Stupid! *thunk* Stupid! How could she be so STUPID!" Chelsey banged her head against the wall. A cold chuckle sounded from behind her. Uh- oh. She spun, slowly around, coming face to face with the Emperor himself.
"I know what your thinking. You know that the first Death Star was supposed to be annihilated by those torpedoes. And so do I." He pulled out from behind his back a small case- labeled Star Wars IV, A New Hope. Chelsey expectantly waited for Episodes V and VI- no, he hadn't found them. *Phew *.
"You didn't tell me that you had this sort of knolage available." His face turned sour. "I expect this level of military insurrection to end. Is that clear?"
"Ofcourse, M' Lord." Overgrown. . . Freaky. . . Thing. Wow, I'm low on burns today.
"Good." He turned and stalked away.
My FORCE that guy is scary!
**************************************************************************
Han and Chewie seemed to have caught a bad case of paranoia. After rushing to finish explaining their dilemma, the two nervously sat back down, back to back, so that they could see an attack coming from behind them.
"So what you're saying is, your mortal enemy, the greatest bounty hunter in the known Universe, seems to be taking an interest in the imperial cause?" Luke summarized.
"Who votes we ditch Han where Fett can find him so that he doesn't come after us?" Wes asked, sticking his hand up into the air, quickly followed by Wedge, Luke and Leia.
"GUYS!" Han shouted. The drew their arms down, more reluctantly.
"OK, we need a plan." Leia stated.
"Once again, Princess obvious to the rescue." Wedge whispered to Hobbie and Wes.
Lei glared. "ANYWAY, who's got some ideas?"
"Oh, I've got one!" Han shouted, jumping up. "How about we send Luke after Fett! I mean, he'd probably loose horribly, but, what the hey."
"WHAT?!?" Luke screamed. There was no freaking way he was doing that alone! (This is when Luke is a whiner who can barely use the Force.)
"Han is right. Force, I can't believe I just said that. Anyway, I'll come with him." Wes Volunteered, leading to the rest of the crew volunteering also.
Also known as- VERY BAD NEWS.
***********************************Later***********************************
"And so there you have it." GT finished.
Boba, who had not spoken through the story (well, jeeze, I'm sure we all saw that coming), continued to stare pensively at nothing.
GT chewed her lip. "If it makes you feel any better, you have a fan army the size of New York who could probably take over the planet if they tried hard enough. Oh, wait, you don't know what New York is. Sorry."
"In a more serious situation, would you have told someone else as much as you told me, by accident?" He questioned. Phew, easy question, not like 'How much wood could a wood-' well, that's getting off topic.
"Well, maybe that wasn't so much of an accident as it was that I was really sick of trying to guess the date of the whole 'Sarlacc incident', you see."
"And where did you say that this information was available?"
*Later the next day*
A thirteen year old girl swayed under the weight off all of the books, each with a different sub title, but all labeled with the same 'Star Wars' logo. Fortunately, the Book store's cashier didn't ask any questions, and simply racked up the cost and saw the girl out of the store.
GT felt her way across the ground with her outstretched foot, seeing as her vision was impaired by the large pile of reading material. Finding her way out back, she dumped the books into the Slave's open hatch and crawled in. Well, at least she wouldn't be without something to read for a while. Maybe she should call Chelsey.
**************************************************************************
"MORON!!!" Chelsey screeched through the screen. "My force, between you and the Emperor, I'm going to die sometime within the next twenty four hours!"
"The Emperor?" GT questioned, throwing her door a sidelong look to make sure no one had been attracted by the noise.
"Uh, ya, he might have found my Star Wars tape yesterday..."
"And you called ME a moron?" GT asked, almost ready to jump through the screen to strangle her friend.
"Take it easy, it was only Episode IV!"
"Where are the others?"
"Um..."
"You LOST them?"
"You could say that, I prefer the term 'temporarily misplaced' myself."
"Arg, I'm coming to help you find them, before Lord In Need Of A Dentist does."
**************************************************************************
What will happen next? Will Luke and the crew find the Slave I? Will the girls find the tapes? Will the Emperor go to a dentist? I'm not telling! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Lots O' Laughs,
B& SSJ V
**************************************************************************
"Han? Han? Please, open up!"
"No, he's going to kill us!"
Luke sighed, before a metaphorical light bulb flashed on! He put on a high voice.
"Han, it's Leia, I've decided that I really do love you!"
"Nice try Farm boy, but we smuggler types are smarter than that. No, Chewie, electrical socket bad, light bulb good!"
Luke was beginning to get frustrated. He had been trying to coax Han and Chewie out of the closet for the last half hour, and they were still stubbornly attached to the lock. Why did they have a lock in the closet anyway? That's it, no more Mr. Nice Jedi.
"HAN, OPEN UP THE FORCE BE DAMNED DOOR RIGHT NOW, OR I'LL GO DARK SIDE ON YOUR-"
*Click*
"Much better."
*********************************** Meanwhile *****************************
GT was calmly trying to decide what to do. OK, I lied, she was screaming into a pillow and hyperventilating while Fett was trying to figure out what the frick was wrong with this kid.
"AAAAHAAAA, SHITZU, I SCREWED UP THE TIMELINE!! WE'RE ALL GUNNA DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!"
"What do you mean, 'screwed up the timeline?" Fett inquired, captured by the odd statement.
"I can't tell you, because then you might not take Han Solo to Jabba or you might know that Princess Leia is the bounty hunter with the thermal detonator, or that you're supposed to fall into the Sarlacc, or that the rebels are going to attack the Imperial base on Endor while Wedge Antillies and Lando Calrissian destroy the Death Star and Vader turns to the light side and kills the Emperor before he dies and the rebels start up the New Republic and you get rescued from the Sarlacc by the freak with the Turban and. Oops."
Boba stared. He had encountered a pre-cog only once before, so he knew what a rare thing it was to come by. The Icarii Queen, Selestrain (Ya, I'm not making this up, go read some comics), had offered him a glance into the future. He had declined, thinking only of the bounty some fool wishing to know of future events would pay, but as it turned out, he was to know anyway. Wait- fall into the Sarlacc?
"You weren't going to tell me that I was going to be eaten?"
"I was!" GT defended. "I would have, the day before, so that the other information could be kept quiet."
Well, this was getting fairly confusing, he realized, but for the most information, one should start at the beginning.
"How did you come by this information to begin with?"
"Uh, long story."
"I'm not going anywhere."
"*sigh* Well. . ."
*********************************Meanwhile********************************
Chelsey ran through the halls of the Star Destroyer, screaming profanities that I don't know if I'm allowed to write down in a PG 13 fic.
"Stupid! *thunk* Stupid! *thunk* Stupid! How could she be so STUPID!" Chelsey banged her head against the wall. A cold chuckle sounded from behind her. Uh- oh. She spun, slowly around, coming face to face with the Emperor himself.
"I know what your thinking. You know that the first Death Star was supposed to be annihilated by those torpedoes. And so do I." He pulled out from behind his back a small case- labeled Star Wars IV, A New Hope. Chelsey expectantly waited for Episodes V and VI- no, he hadn't found them. *Phew *.
"You didn't tell me that you had this sort of knolage available." His face turned sour. "I expect this level of military insurrection to end. Is that clear?"
"Ofcourse, M' Lord." Overgrown. . . Freaky. . . Thing. Wow, I'm low on burns today.
"Good." He turned and stalked away.
My FORCE that guy is scary!
**************************************************************************
Han and Chewie seemed to have caught a bad case of paranoia. After rushing to finish explaining their dilemma, the two nervously sat back down, back to back, so that they could see an attack coming from behind them.
"So what you're saying is, your mortal enemy, the greatest bounty hunter in the known Universe, seems to be taking an interest in the imperial cause?" Luke summarized.
"Who votes we ditch Han where Fett can find him so that he doesn't come after us?" Wes asked, sticking his hand up into the air, quickly followed by Wedge, Luke and Leia.
"GUYS!" Han shouted. The drew their arms down, more reluctantly.
"OK, we need a plan." Leia stated.
"Once again, Princess obvious to the rescue." Wedge whispered to Hobbie and Wes.
Lei glared. "ANYWAY, who's got some ideas?"
"Oh, I've got one!" Han shouted, jumping up. "How about we send Luke after Fett! I mean, he'd probably loose horribly, but, what the hey."
"WHAT?!?" Luke screamed. There was no freaking way he was doing that alone! (This is when Luke is a whiner who can barely use the Force.)
"Han is right. Force, I can't believe I just said that. Anyway, I'll come with him." Wes Volunteered, leading to the rest of the crew volunteering also.
Also known as- VERY BAD NEWS.
***********************************Later***********************************
"And so there you have it." GT finished.
Boba, who had not spoken through the story (well, jeeze, I'm sure we all saw that coming), continued to stare pensively at nothing.
GT chewed her lip. "If it makes you feel any better, you have a fan army the size of New York who could probably take over the planet if they tried hard enough. Oh, wait, you don't know what New York is. Sorry."
"In a more serious situation, would you have told someone else as much as you told me, by accident?" He questioned. Phew, easy question, not like 'How much wood could a wood-' well, that's getting off topic.
"Well, maybe that wasn't so much of an accident as it was that I was really sick of trying to guess the date of the whole 'Sarlacc incident', you see."
"And where did you say that this information was available?"
*Later the next day*
A thirteen year old girl swayed under the weight off all of the books, each with a different sub title, but all labeled with the same 'Star Wars' logo. Fortunately, the Book store's cashier didn't ask any questions, and simply racked up the cost and saw the girl out of the store.
GT felt her way across the ground with her outstretched foot, seeing as her vision was impaired by the large pile of reading material. Finding her way out back, she dumped the books into the Slave's open hatch and crawled in. Well, at least she wouldn't be without something to read for a while. Maybe she should call Chelsey.
**************************************************************************
"MORON!!!" Chelsey screeched through the screen. "My force, between you and the Emperor, I'm going to die sometime within the next twenty four hours!"
"The Emperor?" GT questioned, throwing her door a sidelong look to make sure no one had been attracted by the noise.
"Uh, ya, he might have found my Star Wars tape yesterday..."
"And you called ME a moron?" GT asked, almost ready to jump through the screen to strangle her friend.
"Take it easy, it was only Episode IV!"
"Where are the others?"
"Um..."
"You LOST them?"
"You could say that, I prefer the term 'temporarily misplaced' myself."
"Arg, I'm coming to help you find them, before Lord In Need Of A Dentist does."
**************************************************************************
What will happen next? Will Luke and the crew find the Slave I? Will the girls find the tapes? Will the Emperor go to a dentist? I'm not telling! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Lots O' Laughs,
B& SSJ V