Draco had mentioned that they had an official room for meetings now, and had given everyone directions. So Harry, Ron, Ginny and Hermione made their way to the meeting room laughing their heads off.
"You should have seen that expression on Colin Creevy's face! I swear to God if he stares at my tits one more time I will never flash him again!" Ginny told the group. Hermione nodded "That little nerd has liked you since... forever." Ginny laughed. "Gee, maybe I'd go with him if his teeth weren't so big, package not so small, and he wasn't such a sex perv." Meanwhile, Harry and Ron were arguing over who was hotter, Pansy Parkinson or Cho Chang.
"Parkinson's a steal! She's do anything for a buck or two. The regular 1010-987 for men."
"Yeah but Chang must have at least a D cup... and Parkinson could never afford implants." Life was good.
When they got to the location of the meeting room, there was a portrait of a grungy old sailor. "Password?" he asked in a scratchy voice.
Hermione sighed. "Fuck you." The sailor shrugged and swung away.
Ginny recognized someone in the room. "KEANU REEVES!" she screeched and went over to mob Keanu. "I'm not Keanu I'm Neo!" he protested weakly. Ginny didn't hear him. Hermione walked over to where Draco was standing and gave him a big kiss on the lips. Unfortunately it wasn't Draco. "Who the hell are you?" he said. Hermione looked up. "Whoops... wrong pimp." The pimp grinned. "Well babe, anytime you need a pimp gimme a call." He handed her a business card. His name was labled: PIMP JONES. Hermione walked over to where Ron was standing and showed it to him. "That can't be his real name," Ron said in wonder. Meanwhile Hermione was staring across the room. "I know I've seen that guy somewhere," she told Ron, pointing to a strange man with dark glasses across the room. She walked up to him. "Excuse me, mister, but... I have this feeling I know you." A fortune teller was nearby. "Maybe in another life..." she said in a dreamy voice.
"NO!" the man screamed. "YOU DON'T KNOW ME! I DON'T KNOW YOU! WE AIN'T NEVER SEEN EACH OTHER NOWHERE!" Hermione gasped. She had suddenly realized who it was. "Wood?" she whispered. Wood had grown long dark hair, hadn't shaven much, and spoke in a strange New York accent. "No! I am NOT Wood! I'm..." he appeared to be thinking. Seconds went by. Then minutes. A tumble weed rolled along. Then he thought of it. "I'm his twin brother, Revilo Doow!"
"Wood!" Hermione shrieked.
"Doow!"
"Wood!"
"Doow!"
This went on for quite some time until Hermione finally gave in. But once he turned his back, she whispered, "Wood."
In a different corner of the room, Draco was standing and talking to Pimp Jones, trying to make arrangements when suddenly Crabbe jumped on him and started humping him. "Oh, Neville! How I've longed for thee!" Crabbe shrieked in a horribly practiced voice. Draco pushed him off. "What the hell do yout hink you're doing, gay ass?" Draco shouted. Across the room, Ron had overheard. "You bitch!" Ron yelled. "I thought we had something!" He ran to Crabbe and threw a bottle of Mike's Hard Lemonade on his head. The cap rolled off. It read, 'refreshing'.
Meanwhile, Ginny had succeeded in stealing all of Keanu's clothes, and she went to stash them in the closet. She opened the door and out rolled Madame Hooch. She had long hair, long nails, and long facial hair. "Thank you for saving me!" she yelled to Ginny. Ginny just shoved her back in the closet. "Wrong closet," she muttered.
Harry had been smoking joints this whole time. They were all gone now. "Damn, where'd all the joints go!" he screamed. "Get the hew off mah law'n!" some cowboy named Colby told him. Harry looked down and saw he was standing on one square inch of grass. He walked away, in search of the lost joints.
*****************
Well, what do you guys think? I decided to make it more funny, some of you probably won't like it but I'm hoping more do. Oh, and I'm thinking that I should change the rating to R. Email me at famousactress12@msn.com to tell me if you think I should or not. Peace out!
%*Cat*%
"You should have seen that expression on Colin Creevy's face! I swear to God if he stares at my tits one more time I will never flash him again!" Ginny told the group. Hermione nodded "That little nerd has liked you since... forever." Ginny laughed. "Gee, maybe I'd go with him if his teeth weren't so big, package not so small, and he wasn't such a sex perv." Meanwhile, Harry and Ron were arguing over who was hotter, Pansy Parkinson or Cho Chang.
"Parkinson's a steal! She's do anything for a buck or two. The regular 1010-987 for men."
"Yeah but Chang must have at least a D cup... and Parkinson could never afford implants." Life was good.
When they got to the location of the meeting room, there was a portrait of a grungy old sailor. "Password?" he asked in a scratchy voice.
Hermione sighed. "Fuck you." The sailor shrugged and swung away.
Ginny recognized someone in the room. "KEANU REEVES!" she screeched and went over to mob Keanu. "I'm not Keanu I'm Neo!" he protested weakly. Ginny didn't hear him. Hermione walked over to where Draco was standing and gave him a big kiss on the lips. Unfortunately it wasn't Draco. "Who the hell are you?" he said. Hermione looked up. "Whoops... wrong pimp." The pimp grinned. "Well babe, anytime you need a pimp gimme a call." He handed her a business card. His name was labled: PIMP JONES. Hermione walked over to where Ron was standing and showed it to him. "That can't be his real name," Ron said in wonder. Meanwhile Hermione was staring across the room. "I know I've seen that guy somewhere," she told Ron, pointing to a strange man with dark glasses across the room. She walked up to him. "Excuse me, mister, but... I have this feeling I know you." A fortune teller was nearby. "Maybe in another life..." she said in a dreamy voice.
"NO!" the man screamed. "YOU DON'T KNOW ME! I DON'T KNOW YOU! WE AIN'T NEVER SEEN EACH OTHER NOWHERE!" Hermione gasped. She had suddenly realized who it was. "Wood?" she whispered. Wood had grown long dark hair, hadn't shaven much, and spoke in a strange New York accent. "No! I am NOT Wood! I'm..." he appeared to be thinking. Seconds went by. Then minutes. A tumble weed rolled along. Then he thought of it. "I'm his twin brother, Revilo Doow!"
"Wood!" Hermione shrieked.
"Doow!"
"Wood!"
"Doow!"
This went on for quite some time until Hermione finally gave in. But once he turned his back, she whispered, "Wood."
In a different corner of the room, Draco was standing and talking to Pimp Jones, trying to make arrangements when suddenly Crabbe jumped on him and started humping him. "Oh, Neville! How I've longed for thee!" Crabbe shrieked in a horribly practiced voice. Draco pushed him off. "What the hell do yout hink you're doing, gay ass?" Draco shouted. Across the room, Ron had overheard. "You bitch!" Ron yelled. "I thought we had something!" He ran to Crabbe and threw a bottle of Mike's Hard Lemonade on his head. The cap rolled off. It read, 'refreshing'.
Meanwhile, Ginny had succeeded in stealing all of Keanu's clothes, and she went to stash them in the closet. She opened the door and out rolled Madame Hooch. She had long hair, long nails, and long facial hair. "Thank you for saving me!" she yelled to Ginny. Ginny just shoved her back in the closet. "Wrong closet," she muttered.
Harry had been smoking joints this whole time. They were all gone now. "Damn, where'd all the joints go!" he screamed. "Get the hew off mah law'n!" some cowboy named Colby told him. Harry looked down and saw he was standing on one square inch of grass. He walked away, in search of the lost joints.
*****************
Well, what do you guys think? I decided to make it more funny, some of you probably won't like it but I'm hoping more do. Oh, and I'm thinking that I should change the rating to R. Email me at famousactress12@msn.com to tell me if you think I should or not. Peace out!
%*Cat*%