Be With You
By: Dibs
Neither Gundam Wing nor the lyrics to Enrique Iglesias's "Be With You" belong to me. (Or the song itself, for that matter) Please don't sue, I have no money. I write purely for the entertainment of others. Thank you.
Okay, ahead is OOC (see if you can find it, I dare ya), um, some angsty bits, some romantic bits, some emotional torture (Wait, did I say torture? I meant testing of faith), some bits so horrible you shall walk away scarred for life and scared of your own shadow! BWAHAHAHA! (OK, that last one, I was lying, but the ones before that are true!)
//blah...// denotes song lyrics. /Blah.../ denotes thinking.
----------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------- ------
//Monday night I feel so low//
/No missions for a week,/ Duo thought to himself as he stared out the window of their current safe house. Why did Quatre always pick the rainiest, dreariest places for the safe houses? Duo sighed and went back to staring out the window at the rain-washed forest. /It's always in the middle of nowhere, too,/ he thought ruefully. He wondered, for the umpteenth time in an hour, when Heero would be getting back. Not that it mattered; the Perfect Soldier paid him no attention anyway.
//Count the hours, they go so slow//
"Duo," Quatre yawned, "go to bed. Even Wufei's worried about you." The braided boy looked up at Quatre, framed in the golden light of the hallway. He looked out at the forest. He couldn't see ten feet. Darkness had set in hours ago, with no sign of Heero.
"I suppose you're right, Q," Duo said, getting up and stretching cramped muscles. He popped his back a little, trying to get the crick out of his neck. Quatre turned, turning off the hall light as he went. He left Duo at his own room, and continued on to the one he shared with Trowa.
/Allah, talk about insomnia,/ Quatre sighed as he snuggled into the warmth of Trowa's arms.
//I know the sound of your voice//
//Can save my soul//
The Perfect Soldier in question was, at the moment, floating over an obscure city in Australia, close to the current safe house. His mission had been easy, and extremely short. Yet, he was reluctant to go back to the house.
//City lights, streets of gold//
Floating far above land, watching the nighttime life of the city, Heero tried to think. He didn't want to go back because of Duo, of that much he was sure. The braided boy had tried his best to be friendly (and more) with him, but to no avail. Or so he thought.
/But he's a boy!!/ Heero thought, trying to fight the emotions sneaking up on him. Trying and losing.
/Better a boy than Relena, ne?/ said a rather annoying voice in his head. He shook his head violently, trying to clear it. He sighed again and decided he might as well write his mission report-wait, he already did that. He frowned vehemently at his to-do list, something the other pilots knew nothing about. He realized that everything was done, and decided he needed to stay away from the other pilots for a while, especially Duo. He'd contact Quatre in a few months. Otherwise the blond would worry his pretty little head right off.
//Look out my window to the world below//
/More rain,/ Duo thought dejectedly. He hadn't seen Heero in almost two months. At least this time Quatre chose an apartment in the city. Well, two apartments: one for him and Trowa (of course), and, since there was no one else, he and Wufei. Justice-boy was currently out buying groceries, something Duo usually loved to do, but today he didn't feel like it. Quatre and Trowa were both on a mission and wouldn't be back for a while.
/Fine with me,/ Duo thought, almost bitterly. He sighed. It wasn't their fault Heero was a complete ass, just picking up and leaving. Didn't even take any clothes with him. He'll probably jack the ones he needs from some unsuspecting department store. Duo stared back out the window. These things could get annoying, always there for you to stare out of.
//Moves so fast and it feels so cold//
Heero involuntarily shivered. There were some bodily functions even he couldn't stop. He looked back out of the tree he was in, completely soaked despite the parka he bought. Across the street from him was the apartment Duo and Wufei were sharing. Quatre had mentioned in the last e- mail they exchanged that Duo wasn't faring well. Heero could see that. The boy looked completely listless, staring out at nothing. Dark shadows were under his violet eyes, made more noticeable by the sheer gauntness of his face.
/Am I affecting him that badly?/ Heero wondered. Obviously he was, but it felt odd. Seeing Duo there, Heero wanted to go across the street, storm into the apartment, and force-feed Duo some food. It hurt something inside to see the beautiful boy, so unlike his usual self, sitting staring out the window for three hours straight. Heero settled down a bit more and noted with relief that the rain was letting up a little, so he was more shielded by the tree.
//And I'm all alone//
Seeing the people below busily shopping, everyone with something to do, someplace to go, Duo felt overwhelmed with a sense of grief. He'd never felt this bad before, or maybe he'd blocked all that out. He found himself becoming more tired each day, and knew from life on the colonies it was because he ate so little. He knew the others were worried, to some extent, but they had learned that Duo wanted to be alone. Besides, today he deserved to be sad. Today was the anniversary of his loss of Solo. And in a few months would be the church's anniversary. Duo sighed again. He'd never be able to love. The person would just be killed and Duo left with another scar. Burying his head in his knees, Duo allowed himself to do something that happened more often lately. He allowed himself to cry.
//Don't let me die//
//I'm losing my mind//
He saw Duo break down crying, and he saw Wufei come in right after that. Duo straightened immediately upon hearing the key in the doorknob, scrubbing at his face. Heero could tell Wufei didn't believe the false cheerfulness the braided boy wore, trying to assure him that everything was fine. But he left it alone, knowing the issue couldn't be forced. Heero again wondered why he was even here. All his life, all that mattered was the mission; and now this person, this idiotic, adorable boy had started to matter to him.
"I must be losing it," he muttered softly. The dark-haired boy sighed again, watching Wufei bravely try to cheer Duo up. In the weeks he'd been following the other pilots, he noticed the friendship of the two boys in front of him beginning to develop rapidly. Before, Duo had worn cheerfulness and his Cheshire cat's grin like a blanket. Now, it was all gone, and Wufei had seen the real Duo.
//Baby, just give me a sign//
~~~Flashback~~~
/Ow, ow, ow,/ Duo thought, in too much pain to make sense even in his head. He cracked his eyes open a little, saw the others gathered around worriedly, and muttered, "Any'wa see whisth way de mobow suit wen'?"
"Duo!" Quatre exclaimed, "You're awake!"
Duo tried to move and winced. "No, dah, Sherwock."
"Don't move," Heero warned, gently checking the bandage on Duo's head.
"Wha' happen?" Duo said.
"Something forced your Gundam to lose all power, sending it into a head-first dive," Heero said, "You were lucky to survive." Duo felt his thoughts getting a little better.
/You mean Heero saved me?!/ he thought, and tried to smile, /Guess I mean a little bit to him after all./
"Now that the crisis is over, I must go," announced Wufei.
"We must go, also, Quatre," said Trowa softly.
"Oh, yes, well, feel better Duo!" Quatre said, and they walked out of the small, bleak room. Duo looked hopefully at Heero. The silent boy was rooting through what looked like a first-aid kit. He came back with a needle.
"Um, hey, Heero, why the needle?" Duo asked nervously.
"It's to help you sleep for a few hours and later I'll make you lunch," said Heero. Duo stared at him in shock. Was THIS Heero Yuy?!
"What?" Heero asked. Duo closed his mouth.
"Nothing," he said, and tried to grin. Heero frowned but didn't say anything. He gently slid the shot into Duo's arm, while the braided boy looked away, getting a green tinge on his face. Heero tucked him in and started to leave the room.
"Heero?" Duo asked from the bed.
"Yeah?" Heero said, pausing at the door.
"Thanks," Duo said, snuggling down in the covers.
Heero smiled, "You're welcome, Duo." He walked out.
~~~End Flashback~~~
That had been one of the better injuries he managed to acquire. Watching Wufei unload the groceries, Duo wondered how a boy like the cute Chinese had managed to become so...so wrapped up in the war.
/Someone like me, and Heero, and Trowa; we belong in the war. Wufei and Quatre don't; they're too sweet,/ he thought.
"Are you hungry?" Wufei asked hopefully, watching the other boy silently go back to staring out the window. Duo looked at him a moment before shaking his head. Wufei looked around him, thinking.
"Not even for...applesauce?" he asked. He'd never known Duo had an intense craving for applesauce. Who knew why? The sad violet eyes looked at him again, considering. With one last look at the rainy city outside, Duo sighed and got up. Wufei smiled broadly and started to get a bowl and spoon from a cupboard. He glanced behind him at Duo. The braided boy was staring at the tabletop, following the intricate design with his fingertip. Setting the bowl in front of him, the Chinese poured the applesauce into it and handed the spoon to Duo. He made a sandwich for himself and sat down. They ate in silence.
//And now that you're gone//
//I just wanna be with you//
/Applesauce??/ thought Heero. He'd never known that. It was getting dark, the setting sun throwing deep shadows everywhere and shining off the windows. Seeing the boy attack the yellow pulp, he felt he'd never known Duo at all. Heero knew Duo had been ill before he even thought about leaving, but hid it well from the others.
/Even I didn't know just how sick he was till after I left, when he let down all his guard,/ Heero thought. Again he felt that odd, unfamiliar feeling of pain in his chest. He ignored it and looked at the sky, gauging the time he had until total darkness. Taking a last, fleeting look at Duo, now having seconds, he jumped down and ran off.
/That boy./ he thought, and didn't want to finish the thought.
//And I can't go on//
Somewhere in Africa, along a hot, muggy river, Quatre sat with his silent lover, both in khaki shorts and white T-shirts.
"Quatre?" asked Trowa quietly. The blonde sipped on some drink, minus the alcohol.
"Ne, Trowa?" he asked languidly. He pushed up his sunglasses, blocking out the burning African sun.
"Do you think it was right to leave Duo like that?" Trowa asked. Quatre looked over his sunglasses.
"Koi, we had a mission," he said, "We couldn't help it." Trowa still looked worried, and Quatre once again realized he and Duo were actually quite close, mainly because the braided boy tread so cautiously and Trowa wasn't as antisocial as Heero.
"Wufei will take care of him," Quatre said, and patted his arm.
"I suppose so," Trowa said, still looking slightly worried. Quatre patted his arm again and settled back into his chair.
He didn't know which was worse: a happy, drunk-off-his-ass Duo; or a depressed, QUIET Duo. Wufei looked around him at the clean apartment. Apparently, when the American was depressed, he cleaned. Obsessively. Oh, well, suited him. Meant he didn't have to. But still, he almost missed the happy-go-lucky attitude the American had before this little "development" with Yuy.
/Hmm.../ Wufei thought, /Duo's in his room, probably staring out the damn window again, but he wants to be alone. He sighed, grabbed his book from the bookshelf, and headed to his own room and his CD player.
In his room, Duo was not, in fact, staring out the window. He was staring at the ceiling above his bed, trying to fall asleep. Soft, classical music drifted from the small stereo next to his bed.
"Heero..." he whispered softly. He rolled over and used his pillow to muffle his crying.
//I wanna be with you//
//Wanna be with you//
A mile away from Duo and Wufei's apartment, Heero paced restlessly about his own. A small, aggravated frown graced his darkly beautiful face, slightly shielded by the dark brown bangs falling over it. Growling slightly, he grabbed his jacket and decided it was time to visit Quatre. The blonde had mentioned he and Trowa were in Africa. Under the cover of the midnight darkness, Wing flew off into the night unnoticed.
//I can't sleep and I'm up all night//
//Through these tears I try to smile//
/Gods, I don't want to do this,/ Wufei groaned inwardly. With growing anxiety, he gently opened the door of Duo's room.
"Duo?" he called softly, "It's almost noon...and I was wondering if maybe you'd like to go somewhere. The park or the lake; the sun's finally come out." Duo lay in the middle of the bed, curled on his right side. He lay still for so long that Wufei began to curse himself an idiot for almost interrupting the first sleep the American had had in months. But then he started to stir, and rolled over.
"Yes, I know the sun's out," he whispered, smiling slightly, even though the dark smudges under his eyes glistened with tears.
"Well?" He hated pushing it, but Duo HAD to get out, or he'd die. Maybe that's what HE wanted, but Wufei was not about sit around and watch his friend die. For a moment, Duo sat on the bed, looking around the dark room. Suddenly, he smiled and ran to the bathroom. Wufei could hear water running, and a moment later Duo returned, looking somewhat better. He brushed his hair and re-braided it.
"Come on," he said, a small smile on his face. Wufei followed him out the door.
"Heero, what exactly are you doing here?" Quatre asked, setting out iced tea for him and the two other pilots. Heero sighed, unsure where to start. How had this happened?
"I...I think..." he faltered. The other two looked at him questioningly.
"I think I'm in love," Heero blurted, "with Duo." Quatre's eyes glowed with excitement while Trowa's widened in disbelief.
"Wh...what?!" he cried. Well, cried in terms of Trowa-language.
"I love Duo," Heero said, more confident now.
"Yay!" Quatre yelled, "I knew you'd come to your senses, Heero!"
Trowa just gaped. "How did this happen?" he finally ground out.
"I have no idea," Heero said.
"Oh, this is so cool!" Quatre said. Trowa managed a small grin and hugged his shorter lover to him.
"Koi," he said, with some amusement, "calm down." Quatre grinned sheepishly and snuggled into Trowa.
"What do you plan to do about this?" Trowa asked.
"That," said Heero, "is why I came."
//I know the touch of your hand//
//Can save my life//
"Duo, what kind of ice cream do you want?" Duo looked up from feeding the ducks at the small pond in the park to Wufei.
"Umm, I dunno," he said, "Strawberry and chocolate."
"Be right back," Wufei said, and walked up the small hill to the ice cream cart. Idly tossing out the breadcrumbs, Duo watched them be snatched up by the hungry ducks. He touched his chest, just above his heart, and tried to soothe the ache he felt there. His eyes were already red and swollen from tears, and he lay back, trying to keep new ones from coming. He heard Wufei come back and sat up, accepting the sweet, sticky treat. They both sat in silence and ate the ice cream, watching young children run and scream and feed the ducks.
//Don't let me down//
//Come to me now//
//I got to be with you somehow//
"Heero, you have to go to him," said Quatre, following him out of their rather big house with an anxious Trowa following him.
"No, I don't," Heero growled, sorry now he had told them; but he had to tell somebody, or he'd crack. Trowa passed Quatre and grabbed him, spinning him around.
"He loves you," he ground out.
"Let go of me," Heero said in his best do-it-now-or-I'll-kill-you voice. Trowa dropped his hands but didn't move back.
"He loves you," he repeated. Heero's eyes softened slightly.
"I know," he said.
"Then go to him," said Quatre, standing to the side.
"I can't," said Heero, looking genuinely confused.
"Why not?" asked Trowa, looking confused himself now.
"Because...because..." Heero faltered, "I don't know."
"Alright, alright," said Quatre, "We won't push you. You can stay with us for a little bit." Heero looked at him, then at Trowa, who nodded.
"Thanks," he said. Trowa smiled and hugged him in a brotherly way.
"You're welcome," he said, and started to walk back to the house.
//And now that you're gone//
//I just wanna be with you//
//And I can't go on//
//I wanna be with you//
//Wanna be with you//
"Are you still hungry?" asked Wufei. They had just finished the ice cream and were walking idly around the park.
"Nah," said Duo, kicking at a small stone.
"Do you want to play?" asked Wufei, pointing to a playground with swings and a climbing set. Small children were scurrying around like busy ants, climbing over the woodwork and one another.
Duo frowned then said, "Sure, why not." Wufei, both thoroughly surprised and happy that he could entice the American, followed him to the play set. They each sat on an empty swing and started swinging.
After about ten minutes, during which neither boy spoke, a large blue ball bounced over and hit Duo in the face. Wufei tried to hide his laughter with his hand as a small girl in pigtails ran up and grabbed the ball, which was almost bigger than she was.
"Sowry, siwr," she said. She had copper-gold hair and wide, bright blue eyes. Duo smiled down at her.
"That's alright," he said, and she dashed off. Duo watched her go, and new tears started sliding down his cheeks.
"What?" asked Wufei, puzzled.
"Nothing," said Duo, wiping at his tears. Wufei frowned slightly.
"Really," said Duo, seeing this.
"Mrm," said the Chinese boy in an unconvinced tone. They started swinging again as the sun sank lower in the sky, making strands of Duo's hair flash like sparks of fire.
//And now that you're gone//
//Who am I without you now//
"Dear God, not you too!?" wailed Quatre as he saw Heero sitting at the large bay window.
"What are you doing up?" asked Heero, slightly embarrassed that Quatre had caught him up, unable to sleep.
"I was going to get a glass of water," said Quatre, frowning.
"Oh," said Heero, turning back to the window. Quatre growled and continued to the kitchen for his water.
After watching Heero stare out the window for a few minutes as he sipped his water, Quatre said, "Heero, what are you thinking about?" Heero's eyes flicked to Quatre's reflection for a split second. After a moment he said, "Duo."
"Will you be leaving soon?" asked Quatre, swirling the ice in his glass and wondering if he was going too far.
"Yes," said Heero after another pause.
"What?!" asked Quatre, completely thrown.
"I said, yes," said Heero, turning his dark blue eyes to stare at Quatre, who had spilled ice water down his front.
"When?" he asked, shivering.
"Tomorrow," said Heero, "As soon as I finish upgrading Wing."
They stared at each other for a second, and then Quatre said, "Try to get some sleep. You will wake us before you go, right?"
"Yeah," said Heero.
"Right," said Quatre, "I'm going back to bed. G'night."
"Night," Heero called as Quatre walked back down the hall to change his pajamas.
"Ow!" said Duo, shattering the silence of the apartment.
"What?" said Wufei, still holding the brush. He had been brushing Duo's hair, trying to dry it after the boy's shower. Duo was sitting at the kitchen table with Wufei standing behind him.
"You found a knot," muttered Duo, pulling it around and untangling it with a small comb.
"Oh," said Wufei. He hadn't noticed. He was too busy watching the way the copper strands in Duo's hair caught the early morning sunlight. His hair was completely dry, but neither boy wanted to mention this. Duo had been dozing off, in fact, and was practically purring with the pleasure of having his hair brushed again. The only other person that had ever brushed his hair had been Sister Helen.
"Do you want me to braid it now?" asked Wufei reluctantly.
"Yeah, I guess you should," Duo sighed, "If it's brushed too much it frizzes awfully." In a few minutes the comforting strokes of the brush were gone and Wufei was looping a black hair band around the end of Duo's braid. But instead of moving away, Wufei leaned forward and hugged him. Slightly startled, Duo turned his head a bit, looking into the other boy's coal-black eyes. He blinked his large, violet eyes as Wufei leaned closer, until they were nose to nose, and kissed him. Duo's eyes slid shut as he savored the taste of Wufei's lips, and his hands reached up and wrapped around Wufei's neck.
After at least a minute, Duo pulled back, saying, "Wufei, I-" but was interrupted by a knock at the door, and finished, "-have to answer the door." He got up, if a little unsteadily, and walked to the door. Wufei, his cheeks bright pink, followed a little ways behind. Duo opened the door and froze. Wufei, seeing their, ah, visitor, stopped dead in his tracks, and into the silence, Duo whispered one word: "Heero."
//I can't go on//
//I just wanna be with you//
//And now that you're gone//
//I just wanna be with you//
//And I can't go on//
"Wh-what are you doing here?" asked Duo after a moment's pause.
"Duo, I..." said Heero, obviously struggling with what he was trying to say, "I...love you."
"Oh, my God," whispered Duo, his eyes wide with shock. Wufei just stared at Heero as if he'd sprouted another head.
"I love you, too," whispered Duo, not seeing the small cringe of pain on Wufei's face. He watched as Duo and Heero stared at each other. Then, as Duo threw himself into Heero's arms, crying uncontrollably, he wondered for the first time if his only chance at love had come and gone, because he hadn't protected Meilan well enough. He watched Heero stroke Duo's back and kiss the top of his head, and wondered why he had ever thought he'd be worthy of a creature like Duo. He grabbed his jacket from a peg by the door, edged past the now happy couple, and headed to the park.
//I wanna be with you//
//Wanna be with you//
A week later, Quatre and Trowa returned from Africa, both extremely tan and Trowa practically blonde, to find Duo once again brimming with happiness, and, to their joy, it wasn't an act. The only problem was that Wufei had disappeared. Duo and Heero hadn't heard from him for a few days, and the braided boy was getting worried.
"Quatre, if Heero hadn't come when he did, what would I have said? I didn't stop the kiss, I didn't want to hurt him, but now he might think...you know...and I don't!" said Duo, pacing the living room. Quatre was sitting on the couch, counting the times Duo circled the living room. He was up to four hundred.
"Duo, if you want me to, I'll find him and we can work it out," offered Quatre for the thirtieth time.
"No," Duo said, the same response he'd given each time, "No, I'll find him myself. It's my fault he's gone."
"Then let's go," said Quatre exasperatedly.
"Right," said Duo, perking up instantly, "Let's go!" He grabbed his jacket, and, with Quatre in tow, ran out the door after scribbling a quick note to Heero and Trowa.
The End
By: Dibs
Neither Gundam Wing nor the lyrics to Enrique Iglesias's "Be With You" belong to me. (Or the song itself, for that matter) Please don't sue, I have no money. I write purely for the entertainment of others. Thank you.
Okay, ahead is OOC (see if you can find it, I dare ya), um, some angsty bits, some romantic bits, some emotional torture (Wait, did I say torture? I meant testing of faith), some bits so horrible you shall walk away scarred for life and scared of your own shadow! BWAHAHAHA! (OK, that last one, I was lying, but the ones before that are true!)
//blah...// denotes song lyrics. /Blah.../ denotes thinking.
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//Monday night I feel so low//
/No missions for a week,/ Duo thought to himself as he stared out the window of their current safe house. Why did Quatre always pick the rainiest, dreariest places for the safe houses? Duo sighed and went back to staring out the window at the rain-washed forest. /It's always in the middle of nowhere, too,/ he thought ruefully. He wondered, for the umpteenth time in an hour, when Heero would be getting back. Not that it mattered; the Perfect Soldier paid him no attention anyway.
//Count the hours, they go so slow//
"Duo," Quatre yawned, "go to bed. Even Wufei's worried about you." The braided boy looked up at Quatre, framed in the golden light of the hallway. He looked out at the forest. He couldn't see ten feet. Darkness had set in hours ago, with no sign of Heero.
"I suppose you're right, Q," Duo said, getting up and stretching cramped muscles. He popped his back a little, trying to get the crick out of his neck. Quatre turned, turning off the hall light as he went. He left Duo at his own room, and continued on to the one he shared with Trowa.
/Allah, talk about insomnia,/ Quatre sighed as he snuggled into the warmth of Trowa's arms.
//I know the sound of your voice//
//Can save my soul//
The Perfect Soldier in question was, at the moment, floating over an obscure city in Australia, close to the current safe house. His mission had been easy, and extremely short. Yet, he was reluctant to go back to the house.
//City lights, streets of gold//
Floating far above land, watching the nighttime life of the city, Heero tried to think. He didn't want to go back because of Duo, of that much he was sure. The braided boy had tried his best to be friendly (and more) with him, but to no avail. Or so he thought.
/But he's a boy!!/ Heero thought, trying to fight the emotions sneaking up on him. Trying and losing.
/Better a boy than Relena, ne?/ said a rather annoying voice in his head. He shook his head violently, trying to clear it. He sighed again and decided he might as well write his mission report-wait, he already did that. He frowned vehemently at his to-do list, something the other pilots knew nothing about. He realized that everything was done, and decided he needed to stay away from the other pilots for a while, especially Duo. He'd contact Quatre in a few months. Otherwise the blond would worry his pretty little head right off.
//Look out my window to the world below//
/More rain,/ Duo thought dejectedly. He hadn't seen Heero in almost two months. At least this time Quatre chose an apartment in the city. Well, two apartments: one for him and Trowa (of course), and, since there was no one else, he and Wufei. Justice-boy was currently out buying groceries, something Duo usually loved to do, but today he didn't feel like it. Quatre and Trowa were both on a mission and wouldn't be back for a while.
/Fine with me,/ Duo thought, almost bitterly. He sighed. It wasn't their fault Heero was a complete ass, just picking up and leaving. Didn't even take any clothes with him. He'll probably jack the ones he needs from some unsuspecting department store. Duo stared back out the window. These things could get annoying, always there for you to stare out of.
//Moves so fast and it feels so cold//
Heero involuntarily shivered. There were some bodily functions even he couldn't stop. He looked back out of the tree he was in, completely soaked despite the parka he bought. Across the street from him was the apartment Duo and Wufei were sharing. Quatre had mentioned in the last e- mail they exchanged that Duo wasn't faring well. Heero could see that. The boy looked completely listless, staring out at nothing. Dark shadows were under his violet eyes, made more noticeable by the sheer gauntness of his face.
/Am I affecting him that badly?/ Heero wondered. Obviously he was, but it felt odd. Seeing Duo there, Heero wanted to go across the street, storm into the apartment, and force-feed Duo some food. It hurt something inside to see the beautiful boy, so unlike his usual self, sitting staring out the window for three hours straight. Heero settled down a bit more and noted with relief that the rain was letting up a little, so he was more shielded by the tree.
//And I'm all alone//
Seeing the people below busily shopping, everyone with something to do, someplace to go, Duo felt overwhelmed with a sense of grief. He'd never felt this bad before, or maybe he'd blocked all that out. He found himself becoming more tired each day, and knew from life on the colonies it was because he ate so little. He knew the others were worried, to some extent, but they had learned that Duo wanted to be alone. Besides, today he deserved to be sad. Today was the anniversary of his loss of Solo. And in a few months would be the church's anniversary. Duo sighed again. He'd never be able to love. The person would just be killed and Duo left with another scar. Burying his head in his knees, Duo allowed himself to do something that happened more often lately. He allowed himself to cry.
//Don't let me die//
//I'm losing my mind//
He saw Duo break down crying, and he saw Wufei come in right after that. Duo straightened immediately upon hearing the key in the doorknob, scrubbing at his face. Heero could tell Wufei didn't believe the false cheerfulness the braided boy wore, trying to assure him that everything was fine. But he left it alone, knowing the issue couldn't be forced. Heero again wondered why he was even here. All his life, all that mattered was the mission; and now this person, this idiotic, adorable boy had started to matter to him.
"I must be losing it," he muttered softly. The dark-haired boy sighed again, watching Wufei bravely try to cheer Duo up. In the weeks he'd been following the other pilots, he noticed the friendship of the two boys in front of him beginning to develop rapidly. Before, Duo had worn cheerfulness and his Cheshire cat's grin like a blanket. Now, it was all gone, and Wufei had seen the real Duo.
//Baby, just give me a sign//
~~~Flashback~~~
/Ow, ow, ow,/ Duo thought, in too much pain to make sense even in his head. He cracked his eyes open a little, saw the others gathered around worriedly, and muttered, "Any'wa see whisth way de mobow suit wen'?"
"Duo!" Quatre exclaimed, "You're awake!"
Duo tried to move and winced. "No, dah, Sherwock."
"Don't move," Heero warned, gently checking the bandage on Duo's head.
"Wha' happen?" Duo said.
"Something forced your Gundam to lose all power, sending it into a head-first dive," Heero said, "You were lucky to survive." Duo felt his thoughts getting a little better.
/You mean Heero saved me?!/ he thought, and tried to smile, /Guess I mean a little bit to him after all./
"Now that the crisis is over, I must go," announced Wufei.
"We must go, also, Quatre," said Trowa softly.
"Oh, yes, well, feel better Duo!" Quatre said, and they walked out of the small, bleak room. Duo looked hopefully at Heero. The silent boy was rooting through what looked like a first-aid kit. He came back with a needle.
"Um, hey, Heero, why the needle?" Duo asked nervously.
"It's to help you sleep for a few hours and later I'll make you lunch," said Heero. Duo stared at him in shock. Was THIS Heero Yuy?!
"What?" Heero asked. Duo closed his mouth.
"Nothing," he said, and tried to grin. Heero frowned but didn't say anything. He gently slid the shot into Duo's arm, while the braided boy looked away, getting a green tinge on his face. Heero tucked him in and started to leave the room.
"Heero?" Duo asked from the bed.
"Yeah?" Heero said, pausing at the door.
"Thanks," Duo said, snuggling down in the covers.
Heero smiled, "You're welcome, Duo." He walked out.
~~~End Flashback~~~
That had been one of the better injuries he managed to acquire. Watching Wufei unload the groceries, Duo wondered how a boy like the cute Chinese had managed to become so...so wrapped up in the war.
/Someone like me, and Heero, and Trowa; we belong in the war. Wufei and Quatre don't; they're too sweet,/ he thought.
"Are you hungry?" Wufei asked hopefully, watching the other boy silently go back to staring out the window. Duo looked at him a moment before shaking his head. Wufei looked around him, thinking.
"Not even for...applesauce?" he asked. He'd never known Duo had an intense craving for applesauce. Who knew why? The sad violet eyes looked at him again, considering. With one last look at the rainy city outside, Duo sighed and got up. Wufei smiled broadly and started to get a bowl and spoon from a cupboard. He glanced behind him at Duo. The braided boy was staring at the tabletop, following the intricate design with his fingertip. Setting the bowl in front of him, the Chinese poured the applesauce into it and handed the spoon to Duo. He made a sandwich for himself and sat down. They ate in silence.
//And now that you're gone//
//I just wanna be with you//
/Applesauce??/ thought Heero. He'd never known that. It was getting dark, the setting sun throwing deep shadows everywhere and shining off the windows. Seeing the boy attack the yellow pulp, he felt he'd never known Duo at all. Heero knew Duo had been ill before he even thought about leaving, but hid it well from the others.
/Even I didn't know just how sick he was till after I left, when he let down all his guard,/ Heero thought. Again he felt that odd, unfamiliar feeling of pain in his chest. He ignored it and looked at the sky, gauging the time he had until total darkness. Taking a last, fleeting look at Duo, now having seconds, he jumped down and ran off.
/That boy./ he thought, and didn't want to finish the thought.
//And I can't go on//
Somewhere in Africa, along a hot, muggy river, Quatre sat with his silent lover, both in khaki shorts and white T-shirts.
"Quatre?" asked Trowa quietly. The blonde sipped on some drink, minus the alcohol.
"Ne, Trowa?" he asked languidly. He pushed up his sunglasses, blocking out the burning African sun.
"Do you think it was right to leave Duo like that?" Trowa asked. Quatre looked over his sunglasses.
"Koi, we had a mission," he said, "We couldn't help it." Trowa still looked worried, and Quatre once again realized he and Duo were actually quite close, mainly because the braided boy tread so cautiously and Trowa wasn't as antisocial as Heero.
"Wufei will take care of him," Quatre said, and patted his arm.
"I suppose so," Trowa said, still looking slightly worried. Quatre patted his arm again and settled back into his chair.
He didn't know which was worse: a happy, drunk-off-his-ass Duo; or a depressed, QUIET Duo. Wufei looked around him at the clean apartment. Apparently, when the American was depressed, he cleaned. Obsessively. Oh, well, suited him. Meant he didn't have to. But still, he almost missed the happy-go-lucky attitude the American had before this little "development" with Yuy.
/Hmm.../ Wufei thought, /Duo's in his room, probably staring out the damn window again, but he wants to be alone. He sighed, grabbed his book from the bookshelf, and headed to his own room and his CD player.
In his room, Duo was not, in fact, staring out the window. He was staring at the ceiling above his bed, trying to fall asleep. Soft, classical music drifted from the small stereo next to his bed.
"Heero..." he whispered softly. He rolled over and used his pillow to muffle his crying.
//I wanna be with you//
//Wanna be with you//
A mile away from Duo and Wufei's apartment, Heero paced restlessly about his own. A small, aggravated frown graced his darkly beautiful face, slightly shielded by the dark brown bangs falling over it. Growling slightly, he grabbed his jacket and decided it was time to visit Quatre. The blonde had mentioned he and Trowa were in Africa. Under the cover of the midnight darkness, Wing flew off into the night unnoticed.
//I can't sleep and I'm up all night//
//Through these tears I try to smile//
/Gods, I don't want to do this,/ Wufei groaned inwardly. With growing anxiety, he gently opened the door of Duo's room.
"Duo?" he called softly, "It's almost noon...and I was wondering if maybe you'd like to go somewhere. The park or the lake; the sun's finally come out." Duo lay in the middle of the bed, curled on his right side. He lay still for so long that Wufei began to curse himself an idiot for almost interrupting the first sleep the American had had in months. But then he started to stir, and rolled over.
"Yes, I know the sun's out," he whispered, smiling slightly, even though the dark smudges under his eyes glistened with tears.
"Well?" He hated pushing it, but Duo HAD to get out, or he'd die. Maybe that's what HE wanted, but Wufei was not about sit around and watch his friend die. For a moment, Duo sat on the bed, looking around the dark room. Suddenly, he smiled and ran to the bathroom. Wufei could hear water running, and a moment later Duo returned, looking somewhat better. He brushed his hair and re-braided it.
"Come on," he said, a small smile on his face. Wufei followed him out the door.
"Heero, what exactly are you doing here?" Quatre asked, setting out iced tea for him and the two other pilots. Heero sighed, unsure where to start. How had this happened?
"I...I think..." he faltered. The other two looked at him questioningly.
"I think I'm in love," Heero blurted, "with Duo." Quatre's eyes glowed with excitement while Trowa's widened in disbelief.
"Wh...what?!" he cried. Well, cried in terms of Trowa-language.
"I love Duo," Heero said, more confident now.
"Yay!" Quatre yelled, "I knew you'd come to your senses, Heero!"
Trowa just gaped. "How did this happen?" he finally ground out.
"I have no idea," Heero said.
"Oh, this is so cool!" Quatre said. Trowa managed a small grin and hugged his shorter lover to him.
"Koi," he said, with some amusement, "calm down." Quatre grinned sheepishly and snuggled into Trowa.
"What do you plan to do about this?" Trowa asked.
"That," said Heero, "is why I came."
//I know the touch of your hand//
//Can save my life//
"Duo, what kind of ice cream do you want?" Duo looked up from feeding the ducks at the small pond in the park to Wufei.
"Umm, I dunno," he said, "Strawberry and chocolate."
"Be right back," Wufei said, and walked up the small hill to the ice cream cart. Idly tossing out the breadcrumbs, Duo watched them be snatched up by the hungry ducks. He touched his chest, just above his heart, and tried to soothe the ache he felt there. His eyes were already red and swollen from tears, and he lay back, trying to keep new ones from coming. He heard Wufei come back and sat up, accepting the sweet, sticky treat. They both sat in silence and ate the ice cream, watching young children run and scream and feed the ducks.
//Don't let me down//
//Come to me now//
//I got to be with you somehow//
"Heero, you have to go to him," said Quatre, following him out of their rather big house with an anxious Trowa following him.
"No, I don't," Heero growled, sorry now he had told them; but he had to tell somebody, or he'd crack. Trowa passed Quatre and grabbed him, spinning him around.
"He loves you," he ground out.
"Let go of me," Heero said in his best do-it-now-or-I'll-kill-you voice. Trowa dropped his hands but didn't move back.
"He loves you," he repeated. Heero's eyes softened slightly.
"I know," he said.
"Then go to him," said Quatre, standing to the side.
"I can't," said Heero, looking genuinely confused.
"Why not?" asked Trowa, looking confused himself now.
"Because...because..." Heero faltered, "I don't know."
"Alright, alright," said Quatre, "We won't push you. You can stay with us for a little bit." Heero looked at him, then at Trowa, who nodded.
"Thanks," he said. Trowa smiled and hugged him in a brotherly way.
"You're welcome," he said, and started to walk back to the house.
//And now that you're gone//
//I just wanna be with you//
//And I can't go on//
//I wanna be with you//
//Wanna be with you//
"Are you still hungry?" asked Wufei. They had just finished the ice cream and were walking idly around the park.
"Nah," said Duo, kicking at a small stone.
"Do you want to play?" asked Wufei, pointing to a playground with swings and a climbing set. Small children were scurrying around like busy ants, climbing over the woodwork and one another.
Duo frowned then said, "Sure, why not." Wufei, both thoroughly surprised and happy that he could entice the American, followed him to the play set. They each sat on an empty swing and started swinging.
After about ten minutes, during which neither boy spoke, a large blue ball bounced over and hit Duo in the face. Wufei tried to hide his laughter with his hand as a small girl in pigtails ran up and grabbed the ball, which was almost bigger than she was.
"Sowry, siwr," she said. She had copper-gold hair and wide, bright blue eyes. Duo smiled down at her.
"That's alright," he said, and she dashed off. Duo watched her go, and new tears started sliding down his cheeks.
"What?" asked Wufei, puzzled.
"Nothing," said Duo, wiping at his tears. Wufei frowned slightly.
"Really," said Duo, seeing this.
"Mrm," said the Chinese boy in an unconvinced tone. They started swinging again as the sun sank lower in the sky, making strands of Duo's hair flash like sparks of fire.
//And now that you're gone//
//Who am I without you now//
"Dear God, not you too!?" wailed Quatre as he saw Heero sitting at the large bay window.
"What are you doing up?" asked Heero, slightly embarrassed that Quatre had caught him up, unable to sleep.
"I was going to get a glass of water," said Quatre, frowning.
"Oh," said Heero, turning back to the window. Quatre growled and continued to the kitchen for his water.
After watching Heero stare out the window for a few minutes as he sipped his water, Quatre said, "Heero, what are you thinking about?" Heero's eyes flicked to Quatre's reflection for a split second. After a moment he said, "Duo."
"Will you be leaving soon?" asked Quatre, swirling the ice in his glass and wondering if he was going too far.
"Yes," said Heero after another pause.
"What?!" asked Quatre, completely thrown.
"I said, yes," said Heero, turning his dark blue eyes to stare at Quatre, who had spilled ice water down his front.
"When?" he asked, shivering.
"Tomorrow," said Heero, "As soon as I finish upgrading Wing."
They stared at each other for a second, and then Quatre said, "Try to get some sleep. You will wake us before you go, right?"
"Yeah," said Heero.
"Right," said Quatre, "I'm going back to bed. G'night."
"Night," Heero called as Quatre walked back down the hall to change his pajamas.
"Ow!" said Duo, shattering the silence of the apartment.
"What?" said Wufei, still holding the brush. He had been brushing Duo's hair, trying to dry it after the boy's shower. Duo was sitting at the kitchen table with Wufei standing behind him.
"You found a knot," muttered Duo, pulling it around and untangling it with a small comb.
"Oh," said Wufei. He hadn't noticed. He was too busy watching the way the copper strands in Duo's hair caught the early morning sunlight. His hair was completely dry, but neither boy wanted to mention this. Duo had been dozing off, in fact, and was practically purring with the pleasure of having his hair brushed again. The only other person that had ever brushed his hair had been Sister Helen.
"Do you want me to braid it now?" asked Wufei reluctantly.
"Yeah, I guess you should," Duo sighed, "If it's brushed too much it frizzes awfully." In a few minutes the comforting strokes of the brush were gone and Wufei was looping a black hair band around the end of Duo's braid. But instead of moving away, Wufei leaned forward and hugged him. Slightly startled, Duo turned his head a bit, looking into the other boy's coal-black eyes. He blinked his large, violet eyes as Wufei leaned closer, until they were nose to nose, and kissed him. Duo's eyes slid shut as he savored the taste of Wufei's lips, and his hands reached up and wrapped around Wufei's neck.
After at least a minute, Duo pulled back, saying, "Wufei, I-" but was interrupted by a knock at the door, and finished, "-have to answer the door." He got up, if a little unsteadily, and walked to the door. Wufei, his cheeks bright pink, followed a little ways behind. Duo opened the door and froze. Wufei, seeing their, ah, visitor, stopped dead in his tracks, and into the silence, Duo whispered one word: "Heero."
//I can't go on//
//I just wanna be with you//
//And now that you're gone//
//I just wanna be with you//
//And I can't go on//
"Wh-what are you doing here?" asked Duo after a moment's pause.
"Duo, I..." said Heero, obviously struggling with what he was trying to say, "I...love you."
"Oh, my God," whispered Duo, his eyes wide with shock. Wufei just stared at Heero as if he'd sprouted another head.
"I love you, too," whispered Duo, not seeing the small cringe of pain on Wufei's face. He watched as Duo and Heero stared at each other. Then, as Duo threw himself into Heero's arms, crying uncontrollably, he wondered for the first time if his only chance at love had come and gone, because he hadn't protected Meilan well enough. He watched Heero stroke Duo's back and kiss the top of his head, and wondered why he had ever thought he'd be worthy of a creature like Duo. He grabbed his jacket from a peg by the door, edged past the now happy couple, and headed to the park.
//I wanna be with you//
//Wanna be with you//
A week later, Quatre and Trowa returned from Africa, both extremely tan and Trowa practically blonde, to find Duo once again brimming with happiness, and, to their joy, it wasn't an act. The only problem was that Wufei had disappeared. Duo and Heero hadn't heard from him for a few days, and the braided boy was getting worried.
"Quatre, if Heero hadn't come when he did, what would I have said? I didn't stop the kiss, I didn't want to hurt him, but now he might think...you know...and I don't!" said Duo, pacing the living room. Quatre was sitting on the couch, counting the times Duo circled the living room. He was up to four hundred.
"Duo, if you want me to, I'll find him and we can work it out," offered Quatre for the thirtieth time.
"No," Duo said, the same response he'd given each time, "No, I'll find him myself. It's my fault he's gone."
"Then let's go," said Quatre exasperatedly.
"Right," said Duo, perking up instantly, "Let's go!" He grabbed his jacket, and, with Quatre in tow, ran out the door after scribbling a quick note to Heero and Trowa.
The End