Two:
There Goes The Neighborhood
(in which our nonconformist hero meets our slightly loopy heroine, and is informed that there are restrictions on getting whatever you want)
After getting home and balatantly ignoring everyone who said anything to him, Raven ducked into his locker room and locked the door behind him. Only when he made sure that his mini-fortress of solitude was cut off from the irritating outside world did he remove his new treasure from his jacket and examine it closer.
It did look old, actually, and had the finest of hairline cracks here and there, but otherwise, the bottle seemed to have no irreparable damage. Just a bit dirty, but that wasn't surprising. After all, it'd been in that raingutter for God knows how long before he found it. Just another possibly-worthwhile thing overlooked by the rest of the world. Breathing out a small sigh, Raven slipped his favorite Ramones CD into his small CD player and turned it to 'I Wanna Be Sedated', and then took a handkerchief out of his pocket and carefully began cleaning the bottle off.
Maybe a tiny part of him, the last little innocent bit that still believed in things like dreams and magic and miracles, was hoping against hope that something would happen. A mystical, glittery, smoky something, bursting out of the bottle as he rubbed it with the handkerchief. But nothing happened... well, okay, the bottle got cleaner, but other than that, nothing happened. Raven chuckled and shook his head- how ridiculous was he? It was just a funky old bottle, his name wasn't Aladdin, and nothing even remotely lucky was ever going to happen to him, period, barring some gargantuan cosmic accident.
Again, a puzzled look crossed Raven's face as he felt the bottle's weight. It was definitely too heavy to be empty, unless it was a bottle meant solely for decoration and was, in fact, solid glass instead of hollow. Curious.
Well, he thought, one way to find out for sure. Closing his hand over the smooth glass of the tear-shaped stopper, Raven pulled gently to uncork the bottle... and blinked as the stopper refused to budge.
"Huh." Knocking several copper-brown ringlets out of his face, Raven gave the stopper another pull- harder this time- and still the bottle stayed corked. Another, harder, tug- another failed attempt. Now he was getting irked. Sighing sharply, he sat down on the floor, carefully placed the bottle's neck between his feet, soles of his Cons resting on top of the body. He then grabbed the stopper with both hands, gritted his teeth, and yanked for all he was worth, while pushing down with his feet. He figured this would either open the damn bottle or snap it in half. If the latter happened, well, there had to be some glue laying around someplace.
But the bottle didn't break. Rather, Raven was lucky he didn't break anything as he was jettisoned across the room right into a row of lockers - BANG! - with the stopper still in his hands. Wincing, he sat up- and his dark eyes widened to the size of small UFO's. For what he was witnessing, he'd only moments before dismissed as nonsense.
There was glitter-tinged lilac smoke blowing out of the open bottle with all the force of a hurricane gale, forming a great purple cloud in the middle of the room. And out of this cloud, before the nihilist's disbelieving eyes...
...emerged an exotically gorgeous young lady in silver jewelry and a lilac harem outfit, coughing like she'd hack her lungs up any second.
"Oh, for th' love of Christ! I knew it, I KNEW I overdid it on the freakin' incense! Sheesh, the things I do for a dramatic entrance... I sure hope you appreciated that. I ain't doin' it again." Sighing, the girl sat herself down on the bench, swinging her butt-length black ponytail behind her, and eyed Raven curiously. "Well, you're different lookin', ain'tcha? Lots more interesting than my last master, anyway. Got any idea what you want?"
"Hold on one minute!" Raven folded his arms irritably. "First off, I don't have the slightest idea what the hell's going on here. Second off, is the first thing you can do say something about my looks? Dammit, you've been living in a bottle for God knows how long and you can STILL be shortsighted enough to say that I look 'different' to you? Bloody Christ, for a genie, you're..."
"Whooooooathere, tiger. First off, I wasn't putting you down. If you want me to be honest, I LIKE the fact you look like you do. You're kinda cute, in an endearing grungy poor guy sort of way." The genie-girl shrugged nonchalantly, and her slightly tilted lilac-colored eyes sparkled with amusement. "Now, as for what the hell's going on here, that's easy enough. My name's Fatima, I'm a genie, and you, sir, have three wishes."
"Three wishes." Raven blinked, and mulled this over. Well, there was that gargantuan cosmic accident. It seems that, by some wierd twist of fate, he'd actually gotten lucky. After thinking some, he knew EXACTLY what he wanted. Something he'd wanted all his life, something his entrance into this business had been based on. "Well, there was this girl I loved... Beulah McGillicutty. I wish that she was mine, just like she was meant to be."
"Sorry, wrong answer." Fatima shrugged matter-of-factly. "Try something else."
"Something else? What the... I thought these were WISHES!"
"They are, genius. But there's things I can't do... namely, I can't bring people back from the dead, I can't kill, and I can't do anything that messes around with free will. Like making people fall in love. Cliched, I know, but it's the way things are. So tough titty, said the kitty."
"Oh, rapture. Rules for wishes. Lovely." Raven glared in a very irate manner, which only seemed to amuse Fatima more. Leaning back against the wall, Raven closed his eyes and thought. What could he want that fell within the limits... what could he want...
He heard laughter outside the door, moving down the hall. Loud, mean-spirited laughter- the laughter of three. An old man, a younger man, and a boy. Evolution. God, he couldn't stand them, the three of them so cocky, so quick to throw their supposed authority around just because Triple H was the champ and had been for the better part of a year now...
Dark eyes popped open. A rare smile spread across Raven's face...
...because he knew EXACTLY what he wanted.
There Goes The Neighborhood
(in which our nonconformist hero meets our slightly loopy heroine, and is informed that there are restrictions on getting whatever you want)
After getting home and balatantly ignoring everyone who said anything to him, Raven ducked into his locker room and locked the door behind him. Only when he made sure that his mini-fortress of solitude was cut off from the irritating outside world did he remove his new treasure from his jacket and examine it closer.
It did look old, actually, and had the finest of hairline cracks here and there, but otherwise, the bottle seemed to have no irreparable damage. Just a bit dirty, but that wasn't surprising. After all, it'd been in that raingutter for God knows how long before he found it. Just another possibly-worthwhile thing overlooked by the rest of the world. Breathing out a small sigh, Raven slipped his favorite Ramones CD into his small CD player and turned it to 'I Wanna Be Sedated', and then took a handkerchief out of his pocket and carefully began cleaning the bottle off.
Maybe a tiny part of him, the last little innocent bit that still believed in things like dreams and magic and miracles, was hoping against hope that something would happen. A mystical, glittery, smoky something, bursting out of the bottle as he rubbed it with the handkerchief. But nothing happened... well, okay, the bottle got cleaner, but other than that, nothing happened. Raven chuckled and shook his head- how ridiculous was he? It was just a funky old bottle, his name wasn't Aladdin, and nothing even remotely lucky was ever going to happen to him, period, barring some gargantuan cosmic accident.
Again, a puzzled look crossed Raven's face as he felt the bottle's weight. It was definitely too heavy to be empty, unless it was a bottle meant solely for decoration and was, in fact, solid glass instead of hollow. Curious.
Well, he thought, one way to find out for sure. Closing his hand over the smooth glass of the tear-shaped stopper, Raven pulled gently to uncork the bottle... and blinked as the stopper refused to budge.
"Huh." Knocking several copper-brown ringlets out of his face, Raven gave the stopper another pull- harder this time- and still the bottle stayed corked. Another, harder, tug- another failed attempt. Now he was getting irked. Sighing sharply, he sat down on the floor, carefully placed the bottle's neck between his feet, soles of his Cons resting on top of the body. He then grabbed the stopper with both hands, gritted his teeth, and yanked for all he was worth, while pushing down with his feet. He figured this would either open the damn bottle or snap it in half. If the latter happened, well, there had to be some glue laying around someplace.
But the bottle didn't break. Rather, Raven was lucky he didn't break anything as he was jettisoned across the room right into a row of lockers - BANG! - with the stopper still in his hands. Wincing, he sat up- and his dark eyes widened to the size of small UFO's. For what he was witnessing, he'd only moments before dismissed as nonsense.
There was glitter-tinged lilac smoke blowing out of the open bottle with all the force of a hurricane gale, forming a great purple cloud in the middle of the room. And out of this cloud, before the nihilist's disbelieving eyes...
...emerged an exotically gorgeous young lady in silver jewelry and a lilac harem outfit, coughing like she'd hack her lungs up any second.
"Oh, for th' love of Christ! I knew it, I KNEW I overdid it on the freakin' incense! Sheesh, the things I do for a dramatic entrance... I sure hope you appreciated that. I ain't doin' it again." Sighing, the girl sat herself down on the bench, swinging her butt-length black ponytail behind her, and eyed Raven curiously. "Well, you're different lookin', ain'tcha? Lots more interesting than my last master, anyway. Got any idea what you want?"
"Hold on one minute!" Raven folded his arms irritably. "First off, I don't have the slightest idea what the hell's going on here. Second off, is the first thing you can do say something about my looks? Dammit, you've been living in a bottle for God knows how long and you can STILL be shortsighted enough to say that I look 'different' to you? Bloody Christ, for a genie, you're..."
"Whooooooathere, tiger. First off, I wasn't putting you down. If you want me to be honest, I LIKE the fact you look like you do. You're kinda cute, in an endearing grungy poor guy sort of way." The genie-girl shrugged nonchalantly, and her slightly tilted lilac-colored eyes sparkled with amusement. "Now, as for what the hell's going on here, that's easy enough. My name's Fatima, I'm a genie, and you, sir, have three wishes."
"Three wishes." Raven blinked, and mulled this over. Well, there was that gargantuan cosmic accident. It seems that, by some wierd twist of fate, he'd actually gotten lucky. After thinking some, he knew EXACTLY what he wanted. Something he'd wanted all his life, something his entrance into this business had been based on. "Well, there was this girl I loved... Beulah McGillicutty. I wish that she was mine, just like she was meant to be."
"Sorry, wrong answer." Fatima shrugged matter-of-factly. "Try something else."
"Something else? What the... I thought these were WISHES!"
"They are, genius. But there's things I can't do... namely, I can't bring people back from the dead, I can't kill, and I can't do anything that messes around with free will. Like making people fall in love. Cliched, I know, but it's the way things are. So tough titty, said the kitty."
"Oh, rapture. Rules for wishes. Lovely." Raven glared in a very irate manner, which only seemed to amuse Fatima more. Leaning back against the wall, Raven closed his eyes and thought. What could he want that fell within the limits... what could he want...
He heard laughter outside the door, moving down the hall. Loud, mean-spirited laughter- the laughter of three. An old man, a younger man, and a boy. Evolution. God, he couldn't stand them, the three of them so cocky, so quick to throw their supposed authority around just because Triple H was the champ and had been for the better part of a year now...
Dark eyes popped open. A rare smile spread across Raven's face...
...because he knew EXACTLY what he wanted.