"No Easy Way Down"
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, but the situations are mine.
Author's Notes: I started to veer away from spoilers here and just make up my own storyline, for better or for worse.
ANNOUNCER: Previously on Gilmore Girls...
[Cut to RORY and JESS on the bridge]
JESS: So you haven't told her yet.
RORY: [Lowers her eyes] No.
[Cut to RORY and LORELAI in the Jeep]
LORELAI: You've really got your heart set on Yale?
RORY: Look, I just…I think that I could be successful at Yale just as much as Harvard.
[Cut to RORY and LANE]
RORY: So, I'm assuming you haven't told your mom about—[she looks over her shoulder, toward the door]—your book.
LANE: Not yet.
[Cut to RORY and JESS]
JESS: Now, I don't know your mom that well, but I'm assuming that this is probably one of your longest fights. And you're miserable, so go and make up with her.
RORY: It's not that easy.
[Cut to LORELAI talking on the phone to EMILY]
EMILY: I need to tell you that your father and I are hosting a cocktail party next week.
LORELAI: And?
EMILY: It will be during our normal dinnertime.
LORELAI: And?
EMILY: And the dean of Yale will be there, so it would be appreciated if you and Rory would dress nicely…And it would be good for her to have a date. Even that Dean boy.
[Cut to RORY and LORELAI in the kitchen]
LORELAI: Well, I would have taken it better if you had actually told me. [Stands up] God, I thought I made it clear that you had to tell me this stuff. I just…I don't understand why you would keep this a secret, even after I told you that I was okay-ish with Jess if you would only tell me. [Starts putting food on a plate] God!
[Cut to RORY and JESS]
RORY: My grandparents are having this party-thing, and they want me to come. It's this sort of semi-formal thing and the dean from Yale is going to be there, and…I need a date.
[Cut to RORY talking on the phone with RICHARD]
RICHARD: Rory, I am looking out for your best interests.
RORY: You don't even know him! This is ridiculous! [RORY hangs up]
[Cut to LANE at the Gilmore house]
LANE: I told my mother.
RORY: About Clyde?
[Cut to RORY and JESS in the truck at the elder Gilmore residence]
RORY: We're not going. Just…turn. Turn around.
JESS: Okay. [He turns, and the leave. RORY looks over her shoulder at the house]
[Open to RORY and JESS driving toward Stars Hollow. RORY is biting her lip and looking nervously out the window; JESS keeps looking at her]
JESS: You wanna…drive to the border?
RORY: Um…ask me in a few minutes.
JESS: You scared?
RORY: I've never done anything like that before.
JESS: What do you want me to do?
RORY: Just…stay silent. I don't think she's going to be real happy with either of us, and I have a better chance of winning her over.
JESS: Okay, then.
RORY: Stop!
[JESS slams on the brakes]
JESS: What?
RORY: I need coffee.
JESS: Christ. [He gets out and opens her door for her. RORY climbs out after him and follows him into the diner. LORELAI is still sitting at the counter]
RORY: Mom.
LORELAI: Offspring.
RORY: Has Grandma called?
LORELAI: Hmm, I seem to remember a panicked call in which she revealed that her granddaughter hadn't shown up for some party thing.
RORY: I'm so sorry, Mom.
LORELAI: I know.
RORY: I don't know what happened.
LORELAI: I'm going with…you made a U-turn at some point.
RORY: We were just there…in the driveway, and then I saw the party.
LORELAI: And you balked?
RORY: No, I mean, in my head, I envisioned the party. I could see Grandma and Grandpa being all snobby and not listening to me and getting angry—
LORELAI: Good you prevented that.
RORY: --And I couldn't do it.
LORELAI: I understand.
RORY: It's never going to happen again. You remember that New York list? You can inflict all those punishments on me. For as long as you want.
LORELAI: Rory, I understand.
RORY: And you can extend privileges to Grandma and Grandpa, if you want.
LORELAI: I think they can cook up their own.
RORY: But it's not Jess' fault.
LORELAI: That sounds familiar.
RORY: Really, Mom, it's not. I swear. It was all me.
LORELAI: Rory, I understand.
RORY: And, I mean, if—wait, what?
LORELAI: You can quit babbling, hon. It's all right.
RORY: Really?
LORELAI: Truly. Just promise me one thing.
RORY: Anything.
LORELAI: Don't do it again.
RORY: Never.
LORELAI: Good.
[RORY looks at LORELAI tentatively, then twists around to look at JESS, who raises his eyebrows]
LUKE: Jess, go wipe the kitchen down.
[JESS kisses RORY'S cheek and goes into the kitchen]
LORELAI: [Pats the barstool next to her] Sit. Luke, we need another cup of coffee. Spiked.
LUKE: She's a minor.
LORELAI: So?
LUKE: So, you either take the untainted coffee or you get none.
LORELAI: [Faking exasperation] Fine, fine.
[LUKE gives RORY a cup of coffee, then goes back into the kitchen]
RORY: You're sure you're not mad?
LORELAI: No, I'm not mad.
RORY: Why?
LORELAI: Everyone has fights, including you and Grandpa. Strangely, they all seem to center around guys. But I'd rather you didn't release that tension at the party and really hack them off.
RORY: You're serious?
LORELAI: Completely.
RORY: I honestly don't know why I told Jess to turn around.
LORELAI: You envisioned the party.
RORY: But why do something so drastic? They're gonna be so mad.
LORELAI: We'll see what we can do. You're getting older. Something like this was bound to happen.
RORY: I wish they had never invited me to this party in the first place.
LORELAI: Or made you bring a date.
RORY: [Sighs] Are you gonna be mad at Jess?
LORELAI: No more intensely than usual.
RORY: Good. Because it's not his fault.
LORELAI: I believe you.
RORY: And you said that if one more bad thing happened…
LORELAI: Yes. But I meant really, really bad.
RORY: Like?
LORELAI: Like…you got a piercing.
RORY: Oh, so I have some leeway.
LORELAI: Don't push it.
RORY: Mom?
LORELAI: What?
RORY: Thanks.
LORELAI: You're welcome. [She and RORY smile at each other for a minute] Drink your coffee.
RORY: If you insist. [They take simultaneous sips]
[Opening Credits]
[First commercial break]
[Open to Chilton. RORY is walking down the hall and stops at her locker. While she's taking books out, PARIS comes up from behind]
PARIS: Did you see me totally crush that kid?
RORY: He'll never recover.
PARIS: I've won tons of debates, but that was total annihilation.
RORY: Absolutely.
PARIS: God, I wonder what his verbal will be on the SAT.
RORY: Not as high as yours.
PARIS: Clearly. [She and RORY start walking down the hall] So, have you?
RORY: Huh?
PARIS: Have you…taken the SAT?
RORY: No. It's the third week of school.
PARIS: I took mine this weekend.
RORY: Well, that's very ambitious of you.
PARIS: Harvard likes people who take them early.
RORY: Yep.
PARIS: So, it's surprising you haven't taken yours yet.
RORY: I will. The next testing date is in three weeks.
PARIS: You think that's enough time to prepare?
RORY: I've been preparing for most of high school.
PARIS: Harvard doesn't like people who take this kind of thing for granted. I mean, this is one of biggest, most important tests you'll ever take in your life. It decides your college, which dictates your future.
RORY: I'm not exactly slacking off here, Paris.
PARIS: I prepared all summer.
RORY: You did not.
PARIS: What do you think I did while you wandered the streets?
RORY: Cleaned. Re-did your notes.
PARIS: No. I studied.
RORY: Well, good for you.
PARIS: Harvard really doesn't like people who get low scores on their SAT's because they were too lazy to study.
RORY: Well, you'll have to tell me exactly who they like and don't like. [RORY turns a corner abruptly, and PARIS follows]
PARIS: What's that supposed to mean?
RORY: [Stops walking and faces her] It means, you'll have to write me or something and tell me what it's like.
PARIS: What? What are you talking about?
RORY: I'm not going to Harvard, Paris.
PARIS: You…why? I thought you had your heart set on it.
RORY: I changed my mind.
PARIS: What could have possibly caused you to change your mind?
RORY: I did more research.
PARIS: You'd already done all the research there was to do.
RORY: I'm going to Yale.
PARIS: I don't understand. Why?
RORY: It's closer to home, for one.
PARIS: Afraid you'll get homesick?
RORY: I just like being near my family. It's important.
PARIS: And you realized this just in time to change your plans weeks before you have to start applying?
RORY: Yes!
PARIS: I never thought you'd be so flighty.
RORY: Flighty? It's not like I'm dropping out or something.
PARIS: It's not like you to change something this drastic so suddenly.
RORY: And you know this how?
PARIS: I just do!
RORY: Why are you angry? I thought you'd be overjoyed to know that I wouldn't be there.
PARIS: [Sputters for a second] Never mind! I'll see you after school. [PARIS storms off in the opposite direction. RORY stares after her for a minute, then turns into her classroom]
[Cut to RORY climbing off the bus. She looks tired and slumped. When she gets off, she stands at the stop for a moment and stares at the bench. JESS is not there. RORY frowns, then marches off toward home]
[Cut to RORY walking down a residential street on her way home. She bumps into someone on the sidewalk]
RORY: Oh, sorry. [She looks up. It's DEAN]
DEAN: No problem.
RORY: I wasn't watching where I was going.
DEAN: That's fine.
RORY: How are you?
DEAN: Good. You?
RORY: Okay.
DEAN: I heard about you and Jess.
RORY: Yeah…
DEAN: You happy?
RORY: Yes.
DEAN: Good.
RORY: Yeah, good. [Awkward pause] How's school?
DEAN: Fine.
RORY: Good, that's good.
DEAN: You?
RORY: Oh, well, it's, um…I don't know if I can find the right word.
DEAN: And, uh, Paris?
RORY: Terrorizing me, as usual.
DEAN: So, did you have fun in Washington?
RORY: Against all odds, yes.
DEAN: Good for you. What's it like, being vice president?
RORY: Uneventful. I just kind of tell Paris when she's being insane; sometimes she listens, sometimes she doesn't.
DEAN: Uh, good arrangement.
RORY: It works.
DEAN: [Smiles] Right. So…
RORY: So… [RORY tilts her head when she sees a pretty girl walk up from behind DEAN. She puts her arm around his waist, and he turns to her and kisses her forehead]
DEAN: Oh, ah, Rory, this is Sarah.
RORY: H-hi. [She extends her hand]
SARAH: [Shakes RORY'S hand] Hey! So you're Rory.
RORY: That's me.
SARAH: Wow. Well…hi.
RORY: Hi.
DEAN: Well, we've got a movie to catch, so…
RORY: So, right. Great. Have fun.
SARAH: Good to meet you.
RORY: Oh, yeah. Same—same here.
[DEAN and SARAH walk around RORY and go down the sidewalk, giggling together. RORY frowns, then keeps on walking]
[Cut to Gilmore house. RORY comes out of her room when LORELAI comes home]
RORY: Hey!
LORELAI: Hey.
RORY: You're home late.
LORELAI: There was a lot to do at the inn.
RORY: Right. So, Chinese or pizza?
LORELAI: Whichever.
RORY: Chinese it is.
LORELAI: Fine. The menus are in the drawer.
RORY: No, I put them on the table.
LORELAI: There you go, then.
RORY: Are you okay?
LORELAI: Fine.
RORY: You don't seem fine.
LORELAI: I am.
RORY: You're awfully quiet.
LORELAI: Then I'll get a megaphone.
RORY: Fine, fine. I'm gonna order.
LORELAI: Go.
[RORY disappears into the living room to order. LORELAI pulls her cell out of her purse and checks her messages]
CHRISTOPHER: [On message] Lorelai, it's me. I don't know if you don't have your cell with you or you're just not picking up, but, uh, I'd like to talk to you. I'm—I'm sorry. About everything. I'm sorry about not being there for you and Rory when she was younger, and for not being there for you ever, and especially about this Sherry thing. I hope that you can forgive me, and I don't blame you for being mad. [LORELAI huffs] Just…just give me a call.
[LORELAI hangs up the cell and throws it back in her purse]
RORY: Okay! Chinese is on it's way. It'll be here in half an hour, so says Al.
LORELAI: Great.
RORY: That didn't sound too enthused.
LORELAI: Well, just imagine it was.
RORY: Are you mad at me?
LORELAI: No. [She starts picking the kitchen up, clearing the table and such]
RORY: Don't move those papers!
LORELAI: Not a good spot if you don't want them moved.
RORY: What the hell is wrong with you?
LORELAI: Nothing!
RORY: Yeah, right.
LORELAI: Just…stay out of it!
RORY: What am I staying out of?
LORELAI: This!
RORY: Whatever! ["Sweet Jane" by the Cowboy Junkies begins to play. RORY goes to her room and lays down on the bed. She can hear LORELAI angrily cleaning up the kitchen. RORY stares at the phone, but it doesn't ring. Rolling over on her side, she looks out the window. A single tear rolls down her cheek]
[Cut to the inn. SOOKIE comes out from the kitchen and leans on the front desk]
SOOKIE: It's not working.
LORELAI: What isn't?
SOOKIE: Pregnancy.
LORELAI: Is the old formula malfunctioning?
SOOKIE: Jackson and I are trying—
LORELAI: Uh-huh.
SOOKIE: --but nothing's happening.
LORELAI: Don't expect me to give you lessons.
SOOKIE: We're thinking of getting tested.
LORELAI: Tested?
SOOKIE: To see if one of us is abnormal.
LORELAI: How long have you been…ahem, trying?
SOOKIE: Well, about a week.
LORELAI: [Chuckles and lays her hand on SOOKIE'S arm] Sookie, it takes more time than that.
SOOKIE: How much more?
LORELAI: Sometimes, a lot.
SOOKIE: You're sure?
LORELAI: Positive.
SOOKIE: We're not…doing something wrong?
LORELAI: I hope not. It's a fairly simple concept.
SOOKIE: You and Chris just got lucky, huh? [SOOKIE nudges LORELAI with her elbow. LORELAI'S face darkens]
LORELAI: Don't mention Chris.
SOOKIE: Uh-oh. What's that mean?
LORELAI: It means that—that I don't want to talk about him.
SOOKIE: He called.
LORELAI: Message.
SOOKIE: You wouldn't answer the phone?
LORELAI: I am determined not to talk to him until my intense anger dies down a little.
SOOKIE: Good plan.
LORELAI: And he's telling me that he doesn't blame me for being angry. Doesn't blame me! Like it's his job to forgive me.
SOOKIE: Maybe he's just trying to apologize.
LORELAI: I don't want an apology. I want him to take responsibility for everything.
SOOKIE: Seems to me like he's done a pretty good job of that already.
LORELAI: Not just for Sherry. For everything—all the Rory things he missed, all our abortive attempts at relationships, all his years of loafing. It's not fair that I feel like I carry guilt.
SOOKIE: Tell him that.
LORELAI: Not until the anger dies down, remember? Otherwise, I'll scream at him and ending up feeling guiltier than I do now.
SOOKIE: Then let the anger die down! Don't let it fester.
LORELAI: [Takes a deep breath] You're right. [Grins evilly] Maybe I'll just take some of it out on Michel.
MICHEL: I heard that.
LORELAI: Consider yourself warned.
SOOKIE: I better get back in there.
MICHEL: Yes, because God knows that without you in there, someone might make the first version of your menu.
LORELAI: Ignore him.
SOOKIE: Him who?
LORELAI: Good.
SOOKIE: Bye.
[Cut to Luke's the next morning. RORY enters, dressed for school, and walks up to the counter]
JESS: Morning.
RORY: Morning.
JESS: Coffee?
RORY: Yep.
JESS: [Fills up a cup] Here you go.
RORY: Can I get it to go?
JESS: You usually sit in here and drink it.
RORY: Not today.
JESS: [Raises his eyebrow] Reason?
RORY: Do I need to explain myself to you?
JESS: [Taken aback] No. [Fills up the cup] Here you go.
RORY: Thanks.
JESS: $1.28.
RORY: [Hands him the money] Here.
JESS: Thank you. I'll see you…later.
RORY: Yeah. [She takes her coffee and leaves. JESS stares after her, confused]
LUKE: Jess!
JESS: What?
LUKE: Phone.
JESS: Phone?
LUKE: Yes, phone.
JESS: Who?
LUKE: Liz.
JESS: I'm not here.
LUKE: Yes, you are.
JESS: I'm not talking to her.
LUKE: Yes, you are.
KIRK: I need my toast!
LUKE: Here, talk. [He thrusts the phone at JESS and shoves KIRK'S food on a plate]
JESS: Hello.
LIZ: Hello. [Long pause] How are you?
JESS: [Sarcastically] Practically on cloud nine.
LIZ: So, good.
JESS: Yep.
LIZ: You, uh, like Stars Hollow?
JESS: It has its redeeming qualities.
LIZ: Luke tells me you have a girlfriend.
JESS: [Glares at LUKE] Right.
LIZ: So…is she…
JESS: Nice? Very.
LIZ: Well.
JESS: Well.
LIZ: How's school?
JESS: Same.
LIZ: Luke mentioned you started doing better.
JESS: You and Luke talking a lot?
LIZ: I called before…you weren't there, so Luke filled me in on some stuff.
JESS: And you suddenly started caring when?
LIZ: I've never not cared, Jess.
JESS: Sure.
LIZ: I'm not the best mother, I know. But it was never from a lack of caring.
JESS: That's reassuring. What was it from?
LIZ: I had you too young.
JESS: Lorelai had Rory young. Didn't hurt them.
LIZ: Who?
JESS: My girlfriend.
LIZ: Your girlfriend has a kid?
JESS: [Sighs] No.
LIZ: Oh. Maybe Rory or Lorelai or whoever could handle that, but I couldn't. I've never been a very…stable person [JESS snorts], but I—I love you, Jess.
JESS: Yeah.
LIZ: Jess—
JESS: I have to get to school.
LIZ: Fine. I'll call later.
JESS: Don't bother. [Hangs up. He grabs his stuff for school and starts to leave]
LUKE: How is you—[JESS leaves without acknowledging LUKE]
KIRK: This isn't the right jelly!
LUKE: This is what you ordered.
KIRK: This is not what I ordered.
LUKE: You said grape. This is grape.
KIRK: No. I said marionberry.
LUKE: You said "grape," Kirk. If you want to change your order, just tell me.
KIRK: I'd like marionberry jelly, please.
LUKE: We don't have marionberry.
KIRK: Blackberry, then.
LUKE: No blackberry.
KIRK: Raspberry?
LUKE: We have grape, strawberry, or peach.
KIRK: Grape.
LUKE: [Picks up the package of jelly from the table and sets it down again] There you go. Grape jelly. ["Seven Years" by Norah Jones starts to play. LUKE walks over to the window and looks for JESS, who is walking away. He shakes his head and goes behind the counter]
[JESS is walking toward school. He looks for RORY at the bus stop, but she isn't there. JESS stares at the bench for a second, then continues on to school]
[Second commercial break]
[Open to the inn. MICHEL is at the desk when the phone rings. He stares at it for a few rings before picking it up]
MICHEL: Independence Inn.
EMILY: Michel!
MICHEL: Ah, Emily. How do you do?
EMILY: I'm quite well, Michel. And yourself?
MICHEL: Ah, wonderful as well.
EMILY: Is my daughter there?
MICHEL: Of course. Please hold.
EMILY: Gladly.
[MICHEL finds LORELAI in the dining room and throws the phone on the table in front of her]
LORELAI: Hello?
EMILY: Lorelai.
LORELAI: Hi, Mom.
EMILY: Hello.
LORELAI: Hi.
EMILY: How are things?
LORELAI: [Suspicious] Fine…
EMILY: Good. And Rory?
LORELAI: She's okay. She's sorry.
EMILY: She hasn't called.
LORELAI: She's afraid.
EMILY: Well, we would appreciate an apology.
LORELAI: You'll get one.
EMILY: Soon.
LORELAI: Soon. She's just…she's busy with school—
EMILY: That we pay for.
LORELAI: Oh, no.
EMILY: What?
LORELAI: No, no.
EMILY: "No" what?
LORELAI: You will not blackmail her, too.
EMILY: It's hardly blackmail.
LORELAI: It is, Mom.
EMILY: Well, it's true.
LORELAI: Be fair. She's busy at school, and she's thinking.
EMILY: Oh, thinking? About what?
LORELAI: What caused her to do that.
EMILY: It was probably that boy.
LORELAI: It wasn't Jess.
EMILY: How can you be so sure?
LORELAI: I just know, Mom.
EMILY: He is a bad influence on her.
LORELAI: You haven't met him.
EMILY: If I recall, you weren't so enthused about him, either.
LORELAI: Jess may not be the most personable…uh, person, but he cares about Rory.
EMILY: At least, you think he does.
LORELAI: He does. And he makes her happy, Mom. That's the most important thing.
EMILY: No, it's not.
LORELAI: Oh?
EMILY: It's not the most important thing.
LORELAI: Well, what is?
EMILY: Whether or not he's had the proper upbringing—
LORELAI: God.
EMILY: What?
LORELAI: That is not important, Mother.
EMILY: It is to me.
LORELAI: And since when do you get to make the decisions about Rory's life?
EMILY: Since you've been doing it poorly!
LORELAI: Stop! It's not my place to make this decision for her. She's almost eighteen, Mom.
EMILY: And this qualifies her to throw her life away?
LORELAI: She is not throwing her life away.
EMILY: She skipped an essential party with the dean of Yale.
LORELAI: That was not because of Jess.
EMILY: It was.
LORELAI: How do you know?
EMILY: Rory never would have done something like this before.
LORELAI: You and Dad pushed her to it.
EMILY: Excuse me?
LORELAI: You did. If you hadn't been so quick to judge Jess, she would have gone.
EMILY: Preposterous.
LORELAI: Maybe to you, but to an eighteen-year-old girl, you insulted her boyfriend before you even knew him. To Rory, that's close-minded and inexcusable.
EMILY: It is not my fault or your father's fault that Rory has made a poor choice of companion.
LORELAI: In your opinion. But in Rory's opinion, he's perfect. He likes books. He likes music. He's smart.
EMILY: He drives recklessly.
LORELAI: She is happy, Mom.
EMILY: Happiness is not all that matters in life.
LORELAI: What is?
EMILY: Associating yourself with the right kind of people.
LORELAI: So, what, you're going to put her in the tower now?
EMILY: What?
LORELAI: Never mind. The bottom line here is that I am her mother. I get to make the decision whether or not she is hanging out with the right people. You do not.
EMILY: But I can pay for her schooling?
LORELAI: You know, Mom, it's okay to hang that over my head, but not Rory's.
EMILY: Well, is she's so mature, she should be able to handle it.
LORELAI: What is wrong with you? You love this girl. Don't do this to her.
EMILY: Just have her call.
LORELAI: Fine.
EMILY: Fine.
LORELAI: Fine! [She hangs up and returns to sorting invitations, a little more maliciously than before]
[Cut to Chilton. RORY is walking down the hall and accidentally bumps into PARIS]
PARIS: Watch it!
RORY: Sorry.
PARIS: Whatever. [She tries to get around RORY, but she blocks her path]
RORY: You're going to need to speak to me again.
PARIS: Not the way I see it.
RORY: We have to run the school together.
PARIS: I'll write notes.
RORY: Paris, this is ridiculous. You might as well tell me why you're mad. Tristan has been gone for a long time now, so I know it's not him.
PARIS: Obviously. I have somewhere to go, you know.
RORY: Then tell me why you're so mad and you can go.
PARIS: What are you, a hall monitor now? You're going to need an orange vest.
RORY: This is stupid! We have to do class projects and newspaper projects and ASB projects, and it's really hard with you ignoring me.
PARIS: We all need our challenges in life.
RORY: I just don't understand why you would be so upset about Harvard. It's not like it's anything personal to you.
PARIS: No?
RORY: No. Of course not. I mean, now I won't be there to annoy you.
PARIS: You won't be there at all.
RORY: That's the gist.
PARIS: You know, I thought this would be good.
RORY: What? Never having to see me again?
PARIS: At first, yeah, I thought it would be horrible, going to the same college. But the more I thought about it, I figured, maybe it'd be nice to have someone I knew there, even if I hated them. And then I stopped totally hating you, and I thought maybe I'd have some sort of acquaintance to go to the cafeteria with or eat pizza with. But now there's not going to be anyone I know there.
RORY: Paris—
PARIS: I'll make friends. Yeah. I've heard that.
RORY: I'm serious. You will. Someone you like a lot better than me, and who you won't mind calling a friend.
PARIS: Whatever. I'm late.
RORY: Right. [Steps aside] Paris?
PARIS: What?
RORY: You're gonna have a great time at college. I mean it.
PARIS: Well… [She turns and keeps going. RORY smiles after her]
[Cut to RORY getting off the bus. JESS isn't at the bus stop again. RORY frowns, then walks over to LUKE'S]
RORY: Luke?
LUKE: Oh, hey, Rory. Coffee?
RORY: No, thanks. Is Jess here?
LUKE: [Gives her a funny look] No.
RORY: Oh.
LUKE: Sure you don't need anything?
RORY: No, no, I'm fine. Thanks. [She leaves and stands outside for a second, then walks to Lane's. She doesn't see anyone when she steps inside, so she calls] Lane?
MRS. KIM: Rory.
RORY: Oh, hi, Mrs. Kim. I didn't see you.
MRS. KIM: You are looking for Lane?
RORY: Yeah. Is she here?
MRS. KIM: Yes, she is here.
RORY: Oh, good. Do you think I could talk to her?
MRS. KIM: No.
RORY: Oh. Please? Just five minutes?
MRS. KIM: Lane is not allowed out of her room.
RORY: I'll go up there.
MRS. KIM: She is also not allowed to have visitors.
RORY: Mrs. Kim, I promise I'll be quick.
MRS. KIM: I'm sorry, Rory. Lane has disobeyed, and she is being punished. I cannot let her see friends.
RORY: Oh. Okay. Will you please tell her that I came by?
MRS. KIM: Yes.
RORY: Thank you. [She turns and leaves dejectedly]
[Cut to Gilmore house. RORY walks in the door, looking tired]
LORELAI: You're home late.
RORY: I walked around for a while.
LORELAI: Oh.
RORY: [Goes into kitchen] Is there food?
LORELAI: I don't know.
RORY: Well, did you order any?
LORELAI: No.
RORY: And you must have eaten the leftover Chinese.
LORELAI: Yeah.
RORY: So, no food.
LORELAI: I guess not.
RORY: [Rolls her eyes and picks up the phone] Joe? Rory. I need a large pepperoni. Thirty? Fine. How much? Thirteen. Great.
LORELAI: [Comes into kitchen and sets mug down by sink] Your grandmother called.
RORY: And?
LORELAI: You are to call her and apologize.
RORY: Is this a command?
LORELAI: She wants an apology.
RORY: Fine.
LORELAI: You'll call?
RORY: Yes.
LORELAI: When?
RORY: When I get around to it.
LORELAI: Which means after your hour-long make-out session with Jess.
RORY: What? We don't have hour-long make-out sessions.
LORELAI: All I'm saying is that you've been home late for a while now.
RORY: I told you, I took a walk.
LORELAI: Right. Straight to Luke's.
RORY: That's not true.
LORELAI: There's no point in denying it. I was a teenager once, too.
RORY: Oh, really? I think you might still be one.
LORELAI: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
RORY: It means that you're holding some stupid grudge against me. That's why you've been all distant and cold.
LORELAI: I have not been distant and cold.
RORY: Michael Sullivan is taking lessons from you.
LORELAI: I haven't been.
RORY: Then how come you'll only give me two-syllable replies?
LORELAI: I'm tired.
RORY: You've been tired before. This isn't tired.
LORELAI: Maybe I'm just sick of having no one to turn to!
RORY: Since when? I've always been here.
LORELAI: [Sighs shortly] That's not what I mean.
RORY: You mean Dad.
LORELAI: Yes!
RORY: You're mad at me because Dad left?
LORELAI: No.
RORY: Then what's with the Popsicle disguise?
LORELAI: It sucks that at seventeen, you have someone you can talk to…someone that isn't related to you.
RORY: You're…
LORELAI: …jealous.
RORY: Oh.
LORELAI: I know. It's sick.
RORY: No. I just wish you would have told me.
LORELAI: And your dad has been making me so angry lately. I don't want to unload on you and make you hate your dad and then have you sue me for therapy, but he's really ticking me off.
RORY: Talk to him. Oh, you're waiting to calm down.
LORELAI: Yes.
RORY: [Pauses] If it makes you feel any better, Jess is nowhere to be found.
LORELAI: That doesn't make me feel better.
RORY: [Sits down] It sucks.
LORELAI: So, he's suddenly MIA?
RORY: He hasn't been at the bus stop for two days now. He's always at the bus stop, with coffee sometimes. He isn't at Luke's after school, either.
LORELAI: Maybe he has stuff to do.
RORY: Then why wouldn't he tell me?
LORELAI: Maybe it's a surprise. Maybe he's trying to top Dean and is building you your own yacht.
RORY: Somehow, I doubt that.
LORELAI: It could be true.
RORY: Well, either way, he should call, or send a drum call or something.
LORELAI: Maybe he doesn't play drums.
RORY: He could get Lane to do it.
LORELAI: I thought she was under house arrest.
RORY: She is.
LORELAI: So that blows the drum call.
RORY: Maybe he really did just have something to do.
LORELAI: It's never good to jump to conclusions, Rory.
RORY: I know.
LORELAI: All right.
RORY: Mom?
LORELAI: What, hon?
RORY: Grandma really called you for an apology?
LORELAI: Oh, yeah. But she totally reamed me too.
RORY: Oh, well, good.
LORELAI: Yeah, we wouldn't want her to waste time. This way, she could multitask.
RORY: I should go call.
LORELAI: I think that would be wise.
RORY: [Stands up and starts to go to her room, but turns] Mom?
LORELAI: Yeah?
RORY: You'll find someone.
LORELAI: Aw, babe. Yeah.
[RORY kisses her mom on the cheek and goes into her room. She takes a deep breath and dials the phone]
[Third commercial break]
[Open to LORELAI and SOOKIE at the inn]
SOOKIE: I just don't know what to do.
LORELAI: Um, well, not speaking to each other will definitely put a cramp in making a child.
SOOKIE: He thinks I don't appreciate him.
LORELAI: Well, what are his specific points?
SOOKIE: The dishes.
LORELAI: The dishes?
SOOKIE: I won't let him load the dishwasher.
LORELAI: Still?
SOOKIE: You know how I am. I mean, I've been loading that dishwasher for ten years. It's hard to just relinquish that over to someone.
LORELAI: Well, what would happen if he accidentally loaded it wrong?
SOOKIE: Well, for one, we wouldn't get maximum performance out of the dishwasher. And the dishes wouldn't get…as clean…
LORELAI: Maybe you're overreacting just a bit?
SOOKIE: Possibly.
LORELAI: Well, did he have any other examples?
SOOKIE: I won't sing with him.
LORELAI: Okay, that's not unappreciative, that's rational. Next.
SOOKIE: I criticize his vegetables too much.
LORELAI: You did that way before you were married.
SOOKIE: Maybe I'm just being crueler?
LORELAI: Somehow, I find that hard to believe.
SOOKIE: I don't know. But now we aren't speaking.
LORELAI: It's your first fight, Sookie. You two will get over it. You've been in fights before.
SOOKIE: But not fights when we have to sleep in the same bed and live under the same roof.
LORELAI: Just try talking to him. Do what you did when you weren't married.
SOOKIE: Right. Okay.
LORELAI: Everyone gets in fights.
SOOKIE: Yeah. I just wish it could have come at a more opportune time.
LORELAI: You'll make up. Just don't use too many dishes beforehand.
SOOKIE: Good plan. Talked to Chris?
LORELAI: Um…who?
SOOKIE: No, then.
LORELAI: No.
SOOKIE: Still letting the anger die down?
LORELAI: The anger…the jealousy…
SOOKIE: Jealousy?
LORELAI: Sookie, do you think I'm destined to be alone?
SOOKIE: Well, sweetie, you do have a very distinctive life, but I think you'll find someone.
LORELAI: Are you sure?
SOOKIE: No, but I have a feeling.
LORELAI: I'm jealous of Rory. She has this great guy—well, she thinks he's great, anyway—and she can talk to him. Chris has Sherry to go home to.
SOOKIE: You have Rory.
LORELAI: Not for long.
SOOKIE: Well, Luke will always be here.
LORELAI: What?
SOOKIE: Luke. You know, the man who's not-so-secretly in love with you?
LORELAI: That's insane, Sookie. I've told you that before.
SOOKIE: And the fact that he does anything for you has escaped your notice?
LORELAI: Oh, like what, pray tell?
SOOKIE: He kicked Jess out of town for you.
LORELAI: Bull.
SOOKIE: He made up with you. He made you a chuppa, for God's sake.
LORELAI: That was a long time ago.
SOOKIE: Some things never change. Luke never changes.
LORELAI: Look, Luke and I are, and will always remain, friends. Just friends, occasionally friendly antagonizers.
SOOKIE: Whatever you say.
LORELAI: Sookie!
SOOKIE: It's okay. I'm done now.
LORELAI: Good, because this is crazy talk.
SOOKIE: Just…think about it, okay, sweetie?
LORELAI: Think about what?
SOOKIE: Luke. Just consider it.
LORELAI: Okay…I'm done.
SOOKIE: The next time you see him, watch him around you, and tell me he's not in love with you.
LORELAI: Oh, God. Sookie…
SOOKIE: Dropping it.
LORELAI: Good. I'm gonna go save the guests from Michel.
SOOKIE: Okay.
[LORELAI leaves. SOOKIE smiles to herself]
[Cut to RORY at the bus stop. JESS isn't there. She starts walking to Luke's, but suddenly changes direction]
[Cut to RORY walking on the bridge. JESS is sitting there, staring out into the distance. RORY sees him, but doesn't stop]
JESS: Rory!
RORY: [Turns] What?
JESS: Where are you going?
RORY: Home.
JESS: You wanna stay?
RORY: No.
JESS: You don't have coffee.
RORY: Didn't want any.
JESS: Oh.
RORY: Anything else?
JESS: Whoa.
RORY: What?
JESS: That sounded hostile.
RORY: It wasn't.
JESS: Rory.
RORY: What?
JESS: Come on. What's up?
RORY: Nothing. I have a totally boring life.
JESS: So, you're avoiding me because…
RORY: Avoiding you?
JESS: The other day, at Luke's…you haven't come in since.
RORY: [Under her breath] Like you'd know.
JESS: What does that mean?
RORY: It means, you haven't been around a lot. But, I mean, you must have some really important thing to do.
JESS: What's that supposed to mean?
RORY: Figure it out. [She marches off. JESS follows her]
JESS: It'll be faster if you just tell me.
RORY: I like things slow.
JESS: I don't.
RORY: Then I guess we're mismatched.
JESS: Okay, what's wrong?
RORY: [Stops] Where have you been?
JESS: School. Bridge.
RORY: [Sighs] Never mind.
JESS: What?
RORY: Just…no. Whatever. [Starts walking again]
JESS: [Follows] Come on.
RORY: No.
JESS: [Finally blowing up, but trying to keep his voice relatively quiet] What the hell is wrong with you?
RORY: Wrong with me!
JESS: Yeah, wrong with you!
RORY: There's nothing wrong with me! It's you!
JESS: What did I do?
RORY: [Sighs, frustrated] Nothing!
JESS: Fine, whatever. You wanna be mad? Go, be mad. But don't whine to me until you get it straight yourself.
RORY: [Yelling] Fine!
JESS: Yeah, fine.
RORY: Fine! [She turns on her heel and runs toward home]
JESS: [Quietly, to himself] Fine.
[JESS stands at the end of the bridge and stares after her]
[Cut to LORELAI coming into the house. She sheds her coat by the front door and drops her bag, too]
LORELAI: Rory?
RORY: Kitchen.
LORELAI: [Coming into the kitchen, where RORY is at the table] Is there pizza?
RORY: Yeah, fridge.
LORELAI: Thank God.
RORY: Bad day?
LORELAI: Just the usual. You know, broken water pipe.
RORY: Oh, no.
LORELAI: Michel got his loafers wet.
RORY: That was mean.
LORELAI: What? I didn't have anyone else to send up there.
RORY: Rune?
LORELAI: Oh…he had the day off.
RORY: Huh. What a coincidence.
LORELAI: Strange, huh?
RORY: Very.
[The phone rings, but neither RORY nor LORELAI jumps up]
LORELAI: What if it's Jess?
RORY: He'll leave a message. What if it's Dad?
LORELAI: Then I hope he realizes that he dialed the wrong number on his speed dial for pizza and hangs up.
RORY: So, we'll just let it ring.
LORELAI: Deal.
[The machine kicks in]
LORELAI: [On machine] Tell us who you are, maybe we'll give you a call.
RORY: That's horrible.
LORELAI: I was too tired to think up something wittier.
CHRISTOPHER: [On machine] Uh, hey, it's me.
LORELAI: Ugh.
CHRISTOPHER: Look, I just wanted to let you know that Sherry is gone. Uh, she left yesterday to go live with her parents in Maine. So if you want to give me a call…either one of you…do that.
LORELAI: Huh.
RORY: Huh.
LORELAI: Are you going to call?
RORY: No. Are you?
LORELAI: No.
[They stare at the machine]
RORY: Well, I think I'm going to start typing this paper up.
LORELAI: Okay. Go ahead. [RORY leaves for her room. LORELAI looks at the machine for a long time, then hits "delete" on the machine]
[Cut to RORY in her room. She's typing her paper furiously when there's a knock on her window. She gets up and opens it, leaning on the sill]
RORY: Hey.
JESS: Hey.
RORY: I'm sorry.
JESS: Me too.
RORY: I completely overreacted.
JESS: Yeah. To what, exactly?
RORY: I had a bad day on Monday. Paris got on me about my SAT's, and then I finally gave in and told her that I wasn't going to Harvard, and she got mad at me, and now she hasn't been speaking to me regularly for a few days. That's a bad sign. And I was hoping you'd be waiting for me, like usual. But then I got to the bus stop, and you weren't there, so I walked home, and I ran into Dean, and we made mildly pleasant small talk, and he has a new girlfriend. She's all…tall and pretty and…just…and then you didn't call. It sucked, and then I blew it out of proportion, and I figured you were avoiding me, or maybe you got a new girlfriend, since that seems to be the trend—
JESS: Whoa. Stop.
RORY: Okay.
JESS: Just calm down.
RORY: I'm calm.
JESS: I'm sorry you had a bad day. And I'm sorry I wasn't there.
RORY: It's okay. I see my stupidity now.
JESS: I hope you weren't serious about the new girlfriend thing.
RORY: Not entirely.
JESS: Rory…
RORY: Although it has been known to happen.
JESS: We weren't…anything.
RORY: I know.
JESS: You…trust me, right? I mean, I know I don't look like the greatest candidate, but I wouldn't hurt you like that.
RORY: I know, I know. I was temporarily insane. Paris, then Dean, and my mom was being weird.
JESS: If you say so.
RORY: Yeah. So…why weren't you there?
JESS: Luke is making me go to SAT preparation sessions.
RORY: What?
JESS: Yeah, you heard right.
RORY: You're—you—you're going to SAT preparations?
JESS: Everyday after school.
RORY: So, you're taking the test then?
JESS: Looks like it.
RORY: Why didn't you tell me?
JESS: I didn't want you to get all disappointed if I ended up not taking the test.
RORY: But you think you'll take it?
JESS: Yeah.
RORY: Then why not tell me? I could help you study.
JESS: I just don't want to let you down.
RORY: What let me down was not telling me.
JESS: I see that now.
RORY: Good. So, from now on…
JESS: I'll tell you. I'm just not used to this whole serious relationship thing.
RORY: Oh, so we're serious?
JESS: [Grins] Seriously.
RORY: Good. [Sighs] So, how was your day?
JESS: Equally distressing.
RORY: So…
JESS: My mom called.
RORY: But isn't that kind of…good?
JESS: You've never met my mother.
RORY: She can't be crazier than mine.
JESS: It's not insanity. It's—she's—I don't know.
RORY: Wow. When?
JESS: The morning you took the to-go coffee.
RORY: Oh.
JESS: Luke told her about you.
RORY: Is that bad?
JESS: I would rather he hadn't.
RORY: Oh.
JESS: Rory?
RORY: Jess?
JESS: I…[JESS looks like he's going to say something meaningful, but changes his mind] I'm sorry.
RORY: It's forgotten.
JESS: I was worried about you. You were all mad at me. I thought your mom had said something about me.
RORY: No. It was my own mind.
JESS: Okay. [He pulls her down and kisses her. RORY puts her hands on his face. When he pulls away, RORY pulls him back and kisses him again]
RORY: So, you won't be at the bus stop tomorrow?
JESS: Not for a couple weeks.
RORY: Can you come over tomorrow?
JESS: Sure.
RORY: And bring your study stuff.
JESS: Oh, no.
RORY: Oh, yes. You're going to get the best score in SAT history.
JESS: Which would be a 1600.
RORY: We'll get you extra credit.
JESS: I don't think that's possible.
RORY: That's because no one's tried before.
JESS: Out of the two of us, I think you'd be more likely to get extra credit.
RORY: You could.
JESS: If I just agree, will this insanity stop?
RORY: Immediately.
JESS: Okay. I think I could get extra credit on my SAT's.
RORY: Here's to positive thinking.
JESS: Bye.
RORY: Bye. [He kisses her one more time and walks away]
[Fourth commercial break]
[Open to RICHARD and EMILY in their living room]
EMILY: It's just absurd, Richard. Not speaking to your own granddaughter!
RICHARD: What she did is inexcusable.
EMILY: She apologized. Let's just try to move on.
RICHARD: Move on? Move on? And, what, wait for it to happen again?
EMILY: Rory assured me it wouldn't happen again.
RICHARD: Yes, well, she assured me this wouldn't happen in the first place.
EMILY: Did you get that in writing?
RICHARD: This is not the time, Emily. She told me, she told me that she would never let a boy blind her of her goals.
EMILY: It wasn't the boy, Richard.
RICHARD: That's preposterous, of course it was the boy.
EMILY: It was you.
RICHARD: What!
EMILY: Yes. You pushed her to it.
RICHARD: This is ridiculous. I refuse to participate in this conversation. [He leaves the room. EMILY follows]
EMILY: She was afraid to introduce him to us.
RICHARD: Rightly so! That certainly says something about this boy.
EMILY: And us! Rory, afraid to bring someone around. If we aren't careful…
RICHARD: What?
EMILY: We will lose her.
RICHARD: She isn't Lorelai.
EMILY: Listen to the girl, Richard. Move on. We're going to lose her.
RICHARD: What she needs is something to wake her up.
EMILY: Oh?
RICHARD: Yes. I'm going to revoke her acceptance.
EMILY: Richard!
RICHARD: I'm going to call the dean now and have him take her off the list.
EMILY: Richard, you cannot do that.
RICHARD: If she can't handle one night of obligation, she cannot handle college.
EMILY: Richard, I mean it, do not do this.
RICHARD: Why not, Emily?
EMILY: It's horrible. You promised her acceptance. What is she's based her plans on it?
RICHARD: I based my plans on seeing her at that party. Those fell through. These will fall through accordingly.
EMILY: Richard, you love this little girl.
RICHARD: And part of love is discipline.
EMILY: Quit. Just talk to her. Before you do this, talk to her.
RICHARD: [Huffs]
[Cut to JESS letting himself in through the Gilmores' back door]
JESS: Rory?
RORY: Bedroom. [She meets him at the door of her room] Hey.
JESS: Hey. [He leans down and kisses her]
RORY: How was the session?
JESS: Boring.
RORY: I hate to tell you this, but you're going to be equally bored here.
JESS: Ah, great.
RORY: Let's get started. [She walks past him and sits at the suspiciously clean kitchen table]
JESS: Why is this table so clean?
RORY: Duh. We'll need room.
JESS: Oh, man. You cleaned the table?
RORY: And I don't do that for just anyone.
JESS: Don't I feel warm and fuzzy now.
RORY: You should. [She starts pulling books out of her bag]
JESS: We're just going to sit here and study.
RORY: That's the plan.
JESS: This is the strangest afternoon ever.
RORY: Get used to it.
[They sit and study for a little; JESS taps his pencil, and his eyes keep wandering to RORY, who is engrossed in her books]
JESS: So, how did it go with your grandma?
RORY: [Looks up, startled] Oh. Oh, okay. I mean, she'll probably get back to normal eventually. My grandpa wouldn't even talk to me.
JESS: Really?
RORY: Really. We've only ever been in one fight.
JESS: One? About what, David Rakoff: funny or melancholy?
RORY: About Dean.
JESS: They met Dean?
RORY: Uh-huh. It didn't go over too well.
JESS: They didn't like him?
RORY: No.
JESS: So, basically, I was headed for self-destruction.
RORY: Pretty much. [She smiles at him and returns to her books. JESS smiles at her and cracks a book]
[Cut to later that evening, Gilmore house. RORY and JESS are studying at the table. There's a knock at the front door]
RORY: I didn't order pizza.
JESS: That's the only person that knocks on your door?
RORY: Pretty much. Mom uses the key in the turtle when she loses her key, so every other day.
JESS: Maybe you should go answer it.
RORY: Hmm… [She gets up and goes to the door, flinging it open] Dad.
CHRISTOPHER: Hey, kid.
RORY: Dad.
CHRISTOPHER: How are you?
RORY: What are you doing here?
CHRISTOPHER: That means, "I'm really, really happy to see you, Dad," right?
RORY: Um, I guess.
CHRISTOPHER: So, can I come in?
RORY: Well, uh, sure. [She steps aside so he can come in]
CHRISTOPHER: Your mom isn't home yet?
RORY: No, no she's not home. It's just me and Jess.
CHRISTOPHER: Jess is here? Car kid?
RORY: Boyfriend kid.
CHRISTOPHER: You said you were just friends.
RORY: We were.
CHRISTOPHER: "Were"? When did this happen?
RORY: When you weren't calling.
CHRISTOPHER: I'm sorry.
RORY: That's okay. I got over it.
CHRISTOPHER: Did you get my message?
RORY: Oh, yeah.
CHRISTOPHER: And…
RORY: We got it.
CHRISTOPHER: Were you going to call?
RORY: You didn't give me a lot of time to think about it.
CHRISTOPHER: But would you have?
RORY: Do you want something to drink? [She turns and goes into the kitchen. CHRISTOPHER sighs and follows her. RORY widens her eyes at JESS] Jess, this is my dad.
CHRISTOPHER: [Coldly, but civilly] Hello.
JESS: Mr…
RORY: Hayden.
JESS: Mr. Hayden.
CHRISTOPHER: Jess.
RORY: So, we have water, or coffee.
CHRISTOPHER: Such an assortment. I'm a little scared of your coffee. I'll take the water.
RORY: A fine choice.
CHRISTOPHER: So, you two were…
RORY: Studying.
CHRISTOPHER: Oh. Good. [RORY fills a glass up from the Brita in the fridge] So, Jess.
JESS: Mr. Hayden.
CHRISTOPHER: How's school?
JESS: Better.
CHRISTOPHER: And your driving skills?
RORY: Okay. Here. [She hands him the glass]
JESS: I'm getting lessons from the cast of "The Fast and the Furious."
CHRISTOPHER: I see.
RORY: Um, Jess is going to preparation sessions for the SAT's.
CHRISTOPHER: That sounds good.
JESS: Oh, it is. Just bunches of fun.
RORY: [Shoots JESS a look] How's Sherry?
CHRISTOPHER: Coming along fine.
RORY: So, this stint in Maine…is this just a vacation?
CHRISTOPHER: I don't think so.
RORY: Ah.
CHRISTOPHER: Look, let's not discuss that now.
RORY: Fine.
[The three sit there in uncomfortable silence. The front door bangs open and closed]
LORELAI: Rory! There's a car in our… [She comes into the kitchen and sees CHRISTOPHER] …driveway.
RORY: Yup.
LORELAI: Hi, Jess.
JESS: Lorelai.
LORELAI: Christopher.
CHRISTOPHER: Hey, Lor.
LORELAI: Hey, Rory, Jess, do you feel like going for a walk?
RORY: Yes! [She grabs JESS and hauls him outside]
JESS: What about my stuff?
RORY: We'll come back later. [They go down the porch steps and start walking]
[Cut inside]
LORELAI: What the hell are you doing here?
CHRISTOPHER: I came here to see you and Rory.
LORELAI: There. You've seen us.
CHRISTOPHER: And spend time with you two.
LORELAI: Well, I've had enough time.
CHRISTOPHER: Come on, Lorelai.
LORELAI: Come on what?
CHRISTOPHER: You can't freeze me out forever.
LORELAI: Are you willing to make a wager on that?
CHRISTOPHER: I came down here to talk to you about everything.
LORELAI: Then I'm sorry you wasted your time. No, you know what? I'm not. I've wasted time on you and never gotten an apology.
CHRISTOPHER: That was a little harsh, Lorelai.
LORELAI: It's true. How many years of my life do you think I've wasted, just waiting for you to get your act together?
CHRISTOPHER: Well, you should have told me you were waiting!
LORELAI: You wouldn't have listened!
CHRISTOPHER: Who knows?
LORELAI: Now? No one.
CHRISTOPHER: I have my act together now, Lorelai. And I want to be with you. You and Rory.
LORELAI: Tough. You threw your chance away.
CHRISTOPHER: I didn't know that Sherry was going to be pregnant.
LORELAI: Then you shouldn't have promised something you weren't sure about! Do you have any clue how much you hurt Rory and I?
CHRISTOPHER: I'm sorry.
LORELAI: The phrase "too little, too late" comes to mind.
CHRISTOPHER: So does the word "stubborn."
LORELAI: I've told you this before, Christopher. You can't come in and out of our lives as you please. Last time, you promised you would be a lasting presence, and you couldn't keep it, and that was the last time. I can't take it anymore, and neither can Rory. I think it would be best if you just left.
CHRISTOPHER: Sherry isn't coming back, Lorelai.
LORELAI: Fine.
CHRISTOPHER: So we can be together now.
LORELAI: Did you not just hear what I said?
CHRISTOPHER: Reconsider.
LORELAI: No. Leave, Chris, before Rory and Jess come back from their walk.
CHRISTOPHER: I can't say goodbye to Rory?
LORELAI: She won't want you to.
CHRISTOPHER: You're so sure?
LORELAI: Yes.
CHRISTOPHER: Okay. [He walks to the front door. LORELAI follows him] Bye, Lor.
LORELAI: I wish it could have been different, Chris.
CHRISTOPHER: Yeah. Me too. [He gets in his car and drives away. LORELAI walks back inside, looking sad. She picks up the phone]
LORELAI: [On phone] Ah, hey, Sookie, it's me. I guess you're not there right now, so I'll just talk to you tomorrow. [She hangs up and walks around aimlessly for a bit, then takes her keys off the hall table and gets into the Jeep]
[Just after she's out the door, the phone rings. The machine picks up]
LORELAI: [On machine] Tell us who you are, maybe we'll give you a call.
RICHARD: [On machine] Hello, Rory, it's Grandpa. [Pause] Well, I suppose you're not there right now, but I think we owe each other apologies. [Pause] Please call—when you get the time.
[Cut to RORY and JESS walking by the inn. RORY'S arms is looped through JESS' and they're walking slowly]
RORY: …so my mom never got a coming out party and my grandparents wanted me to have one.
JESS: That explains the frilly dress.
RORY: That's the whole story.
JESS: I never pictured you as a debutante.
RORY: Don't start now.
JESS: Or your mom, for that matter.
RORY: Good, 'cause she wasn't.
JESS: And you played a vital role in that.
RORY: [Jabs him softly] Hush, you.
JESS: So, this studying thing?
RORY: Every afternoon.
JESS: Why did Luke pay for me to go to a session? You're free.
RORY: I demand coffee.
JESS: Cheap.
RORY: And as I recall, you aren't the best pupil.
JESS: That's only in Drivers' Ed.
RORY: My mistake.
[They walk in silence for a minute]
JESS: So, that's your dad.
RORY: That's him. I'm sorry about the little interrogation.
JESS: It wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. I mean, based on the rest of this town, I thought I might be hooked up to a lie detector and tortured.
RORY: That comes later, when you meet my grandpa.
JESS: Just so I'm warned.
RORY: And you'd do it?
JESS: What?
RORY: The lie detector. You'd sit through that?
JESS: Sure.
RORY: Good.
JESS: You weren't being literal, were you?
[RORY just raises her eyebrows]
RORY: Hey, what time is it?
JESS: 6:30.
RORY: We could probably go back.
JESS: Do we have to?
RORY: [Smiles] No. [She stops suddenly at the place of their first kiss]
JESS: What?
RORY: I do believe this is landmark.
JESS: It doesn't have a plaque of any kind. Huh.
[RORY wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him. He pulls her close by the waist]
RORY: I don't think it needs a plaque.
JESS: Why'd you do it?
RORY: Do what?
JESS: Kiss me, that first time.
RORY: I had a seizure. I told you.
JESS: Rory.
RORY: Okay, okay. Maybe I just really missed you. So, why'd you move back?
JESS: I had a seizure.
RORY: Jess.
JESS: Maybe I just really missed you.
RORY: That's more like it.
[JESS leans down and kisses her again]
[Cut to Luke's. LORELAI walks in, looking dejected]
LUKE: Nice look.
LORELAI: Bad day. Coffee?
LUKE: Brewing.
LORELAI: Oh, goody, fresh.
LUKE: Yup, it's your lucky night.
LORELAI: I could contest that statement on many counts.
LUKE: Oh, yeah?
LORELAI: Yeah.
LUKE: Hmm.
LORELAI: You're not going to ask?
LUKE: Does it have to do with Jess?
LORELAI: No.
LUKE: Nope.
LORELAI: Thank God.
LUKE: Here you go. Fresh. [He hands her the coffee]
[LORELAI stares into the coffee for a minute, then looks up at LUKE, who's wiping the counter]
LORELAI: Luke?
LUKE: Huh?
LORELAI: Do you…uh… [She gestures] Never mind.
LUKE: [Gives her a funny look] Okay.
LORELAI: It's just, Sookie told me something, and I was wondering if it was true.
LUKE: You already know I was a Trekkie.
LORELAI: No, not about childhood fetishes.
LUKE: So?
LORELAI: Oh, it was nothing.
LUKE: If you say so.
LORELAI: Luke?
LUKE: Lorelai?
LORELAI: Do you think I'm destined to be alone?
LUKE: [Sighs] No.
LORELAI: Really?
LUKE: Really.
LORELAI: 'Cause I'm not an animal person.
LUKE: That's surprising.
LORELAI: You know what?
LUKE: What?
LORELAI: This is good coffee.
LUKE: I guess that's why you drink ten cups a day. They can close that case on "Unsolved Mysteries."
LORELAI: Good. I was getting tired of that one.
[It's silent for a while]
LORELAI: Luke?
LUKE: Yes?
LORELAI: It's nice…knowing you'll always be there.
LUKE: [Pauses] Likewise.
[LORELAI smiles; LUKE grins a tiny, tiny grin. Fade out as LUKE cleans and LORELAI sips her coffee]
[End of episode]