Double Helix

chapter seventeen
~ morpheus laughing ~

The sensation of being pulled backward tugged her toward consciousness, but she stubbornly resisted its lure. The gentle ebbs and flows of the warmth around her was too much to resist and she wanted nothing more than to remain and allow herself to float in the quiet nothingness that surrounded her.

"Meryl."

She jerked reflexively at hearing her name, as though the sound alone was an annoyance. Subconsciously, she recognized the voice and knew she should respond to it, but she didn't want to. She groaned unhappily instead.

"Wake up, Meryl."

The voice was still calm, but there was an iron tone of authority that forced languid eyes to blink open. Meryl mumbled something incoherent, only to feel a sharp tug.

"Stop," she protested, her voice barely a whisper. "Tired."

Seconds later, a pair of hands squeezed her shoulders. Then the voice returned, harsher and more insistent. "I am running out of patience."

She made a conscious effort to fight against the grogginess at that point, pushing herself to open her eyes and focus on what it was that was so damn important. In the gentle haze of the plant core, Meryl peered at the figure of the one trying so hard to rouse her from her sleep. He was blocking the view of the exit and the glass walls that formed the barrier between the outside world and the inner core, the shadow of his body shielding her from the light streaming in from beyond. It was difficult to make out the details of his expression from that angle, save for the piercing gaze of his ice-blue eyes. They seemed to almost glow and realizing those eyes were directed at her set off warning bells in the back of her mind.

Something wasn't right.

"What's happening?" she murmured.

He reached for her, his body moving to the side as he pulled her toward him. The light around him changed, revealing more of his features to her questioning eyes. What she saw brought her to full wakefulness in an instant.

"Knives?" she asked, her eyes bouncing from his hair, to his eyes, down to his jaw and neck and back again. His hair, once nearly completely blond, now had a shock of dark, black hair that extended almost three inches back from his forehead, from temple to temple. The change was so dramatic that Meryl's first thought was that it was merely a trick of the light. But there was more. The skin around his eyes, mouth and along his jaw appeared red and irritated, as though he had spent too much time exposed to the sun.

"What happened? Why is your hair...?"

He gritted his teeth at her, clearly annoyed, and Meryl interpreted his expression as a silent demand to keep her questions to herself. As he moved around her, his hands never leaving her arms and shoulders, more evidence that something was clearly wrong revealed itself. It was no trick of the light that his hair was darker. As her eyes became more adjusted to the brightness, she saw that the skin irritations that marred his face extended further down his neck and chest. The red, blotchy skin eruptions reminded her less of a sunburn and more of an allergic reaction or chemical burn - though it was the most strangely patterned burn she had ever seen. As her eyes moved from one wound to another she became quite acutely aware that he was naked.

And then she remembered that she was, too.

With a gasp, she immediately closed her eyes and moved her arms to cover her chest. It was childish, she knew, but years of propriety demanded that she at least make an attempt to somehow restore modesty. Knives was unmoved, without a word he simply pulled her toward him and she flinched reflexively. He interpreted sudden jerk as resistance and growled.

"Don't test me," he hissed. "Get out of the damn core. Now!"

"Then let me go," she said, pulling against him. "I can get out on my own."

"I have been trying to get you to wake up and leave the core for almost five fucking minutes," he said, his mouth just inches from her ear as he spoke. "I will not wait another damn minute."

'Something is very, very wrong,' she thought as she grudgingly submitted to his demand. Muscles tense and heart pounding hard in her chest, she tried to ignore the feel of his hands on her, just below her breasts, or the occasional bump of her backside against him as he pulled her toward the hatch. Without warning, he moved over her, leaving the core first and then pulling her to him. The coldness of the air outside of the core caused her to hiss, but she didn't dare resist as Knives carefully helped her shimmy her way out of the hatch. She stood on wobbly legs as Knives held her steady.

"Give your body a chance to get used to the change in gravity," he said, his hands still on her shoulders and his chest just inches from her face. She could even smell him. Impossible as it may be considering the preparations required to just enter the core, there was a distinct scent that she could only describe as him that tickled at her nostrils.

She took in their proximity and the sensations of his nearness with as much detached professionalism as she could muster and didn't dare speak. It was surreal how intimate their positions were and how careful he was being with her, in spite of how angry he sounded just moments ago. He didn't seem to care how much of her body touched his. Or perhaps he simply didn't view her naked body in the same way that she viewed his, but Meryl was finding it increasingly difficult to ignore the fact that she was being touched - almost held - by someone quite so attractively and perfectly male.

Knives was an undeniable bastard, but he felt good. In spite of the fact that he wasn't even human, his nearness felt strangely reassuring. He felt warm, solid, strong, comforting...

'Hormones,' she told herself. 'Hormones and stress and loneliness and insanity. Nothing more. He means to kill me. To kill us all, no matter what he looks like.'

"Wh-what happened?" she asked, her voice squeaking. She hoped and prayed that hearing his voice would snap her brain back to reality. Knives wasn't really a man. He was male - that much was more than obvious - but he was not a man. Not something or someone that should feel or look good. "Did you kill him?"

Ice-blue eyes flashed dangerously, "Of course not!"

Meryl recoiled from the intensity of his words and the uncomfortable sexual tension she had been feeling immediately began to deflate. The two stared at each other for a long moment before she finally averted her eyes. Then she braved trying to step out of his loose embrace to stand without his assistance. He held her still.

"You're hurt," she said. "And your hair is different..."

A blond eyebrow rose at her statement.

"Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine," was his curt reply.

"And Vash?"

He grimaced, but said nothing. Then his hands dropped to his sides as he released her. Without a word, he moved away from her, leaving her standing alone and naked next to the hatch the led to the plant bulb. The room was suddenly very cold and she an unsteady island in the middle of it. Without his nearness, she felt vulnerable. She wrapped her arms around herself in a futile effort to warm herself as Knives began to pull on his clothes. Meryl spotted a robe hanging on the other side of the room and she instinctively moved toward it. She managed a few steps before her stomach lurched and a wave of dizziness seized her. Dark spots appeared in her vision as the world suddenly grew dark. She tried to straighten herself, to stand still until the dizziness passed, but her balance began to teeter uncontrollably. She felt herself begin to fall when a pair of solid arms wrapped around her and helped her to a chair.

"Sit," Knives ordered.

Meryl wanted to tell him that she really had no damn choice, but she shivered instead. Pinching her chin between his thumb and forefinger, Knives tilted her face up and peered at her intently. She recognized that he was assessing her, taking stock of her symptoms to judge whether he needed to call for the doctor or not and she scowled at him. Her reaction seemed to reassure him, and he released her.

"Stay still," he said, then moved around her and retrieved the robe. Seconds later, he was helping her put it on.

"Zazie will take you back to your room when you are well enough to stand," he continued as he finished securing the robe around her. "Until then, just sit here. Don't get up, don't talk, don't do anything. I don't have time to deal with you right now."

"T-tell me what happened," Meryl swallowed, her voice shaky. She took a deep breath as she pulled the robe more tightly around her, "Please."

"Your refusal to obey even the most basic requests is truly remarkable."

"Please," she repeated.

Knives ran a hand through his hair and sighed, "Vash is... stubborn."

Meryl gave a slight nod. She knew that much already.

Knives moved past her, beyond her line of sight. "He's injured, but he'll be fine."

"Will I... can I see him?"

"He's unconscious and needs to regenerate," he said. She heard the distinct sound of typing and knew he was at the control panel for the plant core. "Are you still dizzy?" he asked.

"I feel nauseous."

He reappeared in front of her again and his assessing gaze came with him, "You're still pale."

Meryl sighed and dipped her head down, forcing herself to breathe slow, steady breaths. Then she felt his hand hook under her arm, urging her to stand. "Need to move," he said as he held her steady with one hand while pushing her chair back with the other. She leaned into him, trying to ignore the way the world had started to spin again when she stood, when Knives finally set her back down.

"Maybe... maybe I should just lay down..."

"On the floor?" he asked. "I think not. Zazie will be along soon. Just wait."

"Where are you going?"

"No where," he murmured, his attention once again focused on the control panel.

"Knives? Can you at least tell me what happened to the others?" she asked, "Was Milly with him?"

Knives sighed, "I don't care about his human friends."

"I do." She sucked in a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Just... just tell me if they're still alive. Please."

"Chapel killed Midvalley and escaped with the woman," a disembodied voice answered. It wasn't Knives who spoke and Meryl didn't recognize the voice. She lifted her head just enough to see Eleandra standing in the doorway, watching her. As much as she hated the freakish she-man, relief flooded her upon hearing his answer.

"Milly should go home," she murmured.

"Indeed," Knives agreed, his voice coming from somewhere beyond her line of sight. She was tempted to lean forward in her seat in an effort to see what he was doing, but her insides felt like jelly. She didn't trust herself to move too much. Not until her nausea passed. Eyes closed and head lowered, she took several deep, cleansing breaths. She willed her body to relax as she absently stroked her protruding middle. As if responding to her ministrations, she felt the baby move within her. Stretching and turning, the unborn life made her presence known. Meryl concentrated on the sensation as she rubbed her belly in a soothing gesture. She only ventured to look up when she heard Knives leave the room.

A moment later he returned. With Vash.

Strapped to a gurney and soaked with blood laid the humanoid typhoon. He wasn't dead. She could see the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathed, but he was so still and quiet that she was certain that he must be hovering close to death. Heart pounding hard in her chest and tears threatening to spill from her eyes, Meryl whispered, "What... what happened?"

Silence answered her, save for the pair of green eyes that slowly blinked opened. Meryl felt her mouth go suddenly dry as she watched her friend try to focus on her. He didn't look good. She had seen him injured before, but this was different. There was something wrong with Vash. Something beyond physical wounds.

She glanced at Knives, trying to get a read on the situation by assessing his reaction to it, only to see his open curiosity as he watched his brother watch her.

"V-vash?" she said, voice gentle and just a bit frightened. The sound of her voice, or perhaps the use of his name, caused him to blink and scowl. Then his eyes traveled over her form, as though he was trying to recognize her but couldn't. Meryl tensed and clenched at the collar of her robe when his eyes settled on the swell of her abdomen.

Then, suddenly, his eyes snapped back to her face.

"Your hair is different," he breathed.

His eyes wavered out of focus as he looked at her, but Meryl offered a shy smile. She touched the ends of her hair with nervous fingers. It was longer than it was the last time she saw Vash. "I... I haven't had a chance to cut it," she said.

"I've always liked... your hair long... Rem."

• • •

"Here," Wolfwood said as he offered his canteen to Milly, nudging her once on the shoulder to get her attention.

She took the vessel from his hands and muttered a quiet thanks. Milly swallowed a few mouthfuls of water as Wolfwood looked on.

"We should try to get some rest before sunset," the priest sighed, eying the horizon with a troubled expression. "We don't have enough water to travel very far by day. We'll have to move at night."

A wave of guilt fluttered through Milly's consciousness as she swallowed another mouthful. She blushed, feeling suddenly guilty. Without a word, the insurance agent handed the canteen back. Silence wrapped around them, smothering them for several moments. Each glanced at the other out of the corners of their eyes, hoping to catch a glimpse of what the other was thinking. Tired of the dead air, Milly spoke.

"What happened back there, Wolfwood?"

The priest turned his head to regard her, taken slightly aback by her use of his family name. She never called him that before. It was always 'Mr. Priest.' Or, more recently, 'Chapel.' He hated the sound of that name on her lips more than anything. 'Wolfwood' sounded almost musical in her voice.

"I'm not sure," the priest admitted truthfully.

"Do you think... you don't think he's dead... do you?"

"Vash?"

Milly nodded.

Wolfwood put his hands behind him and leaned back, "I don't know, but I don't think so. They're probably both still alive. I think if either one of them died back there doing that, there would've been an explosion of some kind. A large one. Probably bigger than July."

Exhaling a shaky breath, Milly nodded. "What about Meryl?"

"You should give up on finding her."

Blue eyes flashed with anger. "What do you mean I should 'give up?' She's my partner, I can't just 'give up!' She wouldn't give up looking for me!"

Wolfwood ran his fingers through his hair in a frustrated gesture. "She might if she knew what I know."

The woman searched his face for a long moment, "What do you know?"

"Milly, she's going to die. It's too late to help her."

The insurance girl's expression grew indignant. "I don't believe that and neither does Vash!"

Wolfwood sighed and turned his face toward the sky. "Milly, she has a plant inside of her. Do you know what the average amount of energy a fully matured Plant Angel produces in a single year? Seven billion kilowatts per hour." Milly looked at Wolfwood blankly for a moment before he continued, "That's enough energy to power November for two years, maybe more."

"Well that doesn't make sense," Milly said. "If they produce so much energy why is every town so possessive of their plant? You make it sound like there is more than enough to go around. Why do cities fight over energy rights? Why do the Feds control energy distribution?"

"Because the plant itself consumes one-third of all the energy it produces. The thing inside of Meryl is a fetus and from what I was told, it won't be able to produce enough energy to survive until after it is born. That means it'll be looking to the surrogate for the energy it needs to survive."

Eyes wide, she asked, "The baby... the plant... will kill her?"

"Oh yes," he said, "the plant will consume her."

"I... I don't accept that."

Wolfwood sighed.

"You don't know everything!" Milly stood suddenly, her voice thick. "What if you're wrong? What if the person who told you all that made a mistake? How do you know that the plant inside of her is like other Plant Angels? What if it's like Vash? I'm not going to take that chance. You could be wrong. If we're going back to help Vash we have to help Meryl as well! We can't turn our backs on her. We just can't!"

The priest rubbed the back of his head and took a deep breath. "Do you realize what we're up against, Milly?"

"Of course I do!"

"Hmph," Wolfwood grunted as he reached for a cigarette. Finding none in the usual spot, he swore under his breath and searched his remaining pockets.

"Wolfwood, don't you want to help her?"

"Of course I do!" he snapped. "I want to help her, but think about what's inside of her! It's an alien. A plant. This isn't a human baby we're talking about here. Vash needs us, we can help him... but Meryl is probably too far gone. Even if we're able to get both of them out, which is doubtful," he said as he looked at her meaningfully, "what are we going to do? Take her to a hospital? Do you think they'll be able to help her? It was a human doctor who proposed the idea to Knives to begin with."

Milly rubbed her eyes, wiping away the stray tears. She nodded in understanding, but still held her chin up defiantly. "I don't care about all that. My big sister taught me to help friends in need and Meryl and Vash are in need. We'll just have to do our best to help them both."

• • •

Since Vash's capture, Knives had allowed Meryl more freedom to move about the geo-plant. Zazie still had to be with her, but she could go almost anywhere she wished. Her only restriction was to stay away from the core.

In other words, she had to stay away from Vash.

That was fine with her. She didn't really want to see Vash and Knives knew it. She certainly thought about the gunman on a daily basis and she always asked about him... but seeing him face-to-face was something else entirely.

It was obvious that Vash wasn't in his right mind when she saw him, and she knew that, but there was just enough recognition and intelligence behind his eyes for her to feel heartsick. He had stared at the evidence of her pregnancy and then peered directly into her eyes when he called her 'Rem,' but still, she felt invisible to him. He had come all that way to rescue her and when she was right there in front of him, he didn't see her. It was difficult to not feel hurt and confused by that.

What significance there was behind him calling her 'Rem' wasn't something she was privy to, but from the expression on Knives' face - the strange mix of surprised amusement and disgust - was enough to ward off her curiosity. At least for a time. Eventually she would ask. Just not yet. Not now.

"You should be sleeping," Zazie said, interrupting her thoughts as she walked beside her.

Meryl sighed and continued her path down the hall toward the door that led to eastern exit of the building. There was a small expanse of grass-covered land surrounded by a scattering of trees and a few large boulders that formed the yard that Knives gave her permission to visit. 'The suns will be good for you,' he had told her. Meryl didn't thank for him the privileged of going outside, after all, she was still a prisoner. But she still took advantage of being able to peer up into the bright blue sky and feel the warmth of the suns on her face and shoulders.

"I can sleep whenever I want," she said. "All I can do is eat, sleep and read. Now I can wander, so forgive me if I want to indulge."

Zazie snorted as she held open the door for Meryl before following her outside. The air was crisp and unseasonably cool, but still a welcome change to the filtered air within the geo-plant. In the pre-dawn light, she could easily see the scars left in the landscape to her immediate right. To her left, she saw the lush green of vegetation and new growth. The contrast felt strangely poignant. Pushing a bothersome lock of hair from her eyes, Meryl carefully lowered herself to sit on the grass as she watched the horizon. In a few minutes, the first sun would peak over the horizon. Fourteen minutes after that, the second sun would make its grand appearance. Pulling her robe tighter around her shoulders, Meryl continued to wait patiently for the birth of a new day as she tried to forget her worries.

Zazie shifted beside her and sighed in obvious boredom as she flicked a small stone away with her index finger. It was nice being outside, regardless of the company. Truth be told, Meryl didn't really mind the company of the faux human. Her constant presence seemed almost normal now, though Meryl often missed having time to herself. If someone had to be her baby sitter, she was thankful it was Zazie. She was the least frightening of Knives' loyalists.

"It should be coming up now," Meryl said quietly.

"I've seen it before."

"So have I."

Zazie glanced over at Meryl, "Maybe you should talk to the doctor about your insomnia."

The petite woman clicked her tongue and gave Zazie an exasperated glare. "That's ridiculous. Why would I need to tell him about that?"

"Something might be wrong with you."

"The reason I can't sleep is because I lay awake at night worrying about Milly and thinking about Vash," she said. "There's nothing wrong with me. Most normal people lose sleep when they're worried. It's hardly something worthy of alerting a doctor about."

Zazie said nothing for several seconds. She flicked another pebble away, then said, "Fine, but we're not coming out here like this again. Not when you are supposed to be asleep."

The pregnant woman rolled her eyes as she reached behind her and scratched her shoulder blade, "Fine."

The hive watched her movements with a slight frown. The same spot. She was always scratching that spot. She claimed it was just a simple rash, but Zazie had her doubts. "I'm going to tell Knives and Conrad about your back today."

"Why? I told you want it is."

"I'm under orders to report anything suspicious."

"It's just a rash," Meryl said as she rubbed the itchy, chaffed skin along her shoulder blade. "I have had skin allergies all my life, which means I'm prone to getting rashes. It's nothing."

"You haven't been sleeping and you've been complaining about soreness and now you have a rash. And it's spread," she said. "I looked."

"Of course you did," Meryl muttered.

"I'm going to tell them."

Annoyed, Meryl clenched her jaw. "It'll be gone in a couple of days."

"Will it?" Zazie pressed.

"Yes, damn it!" Meryl said, anger setting her voice on edge. "Just let it heal, okay? Is that too much to ask? Can't I just enjoy the suns coming up without you nagging me? Please?"

"It's my job-"

"I know!" she snapped, glaring at her. Then, with a sigh, she said, "Look, I just want to enjoy this moment, okay? My back will heal on its own. Just give it time."

"And if it doesn't?"

"Why is this so damn important?" Meryl asked. "I've been complaining about my treatment and the lousy food here, too, and you have yet to tell that grievance to Knives. I get an itchy back and you act like I'm about to start bleeding from my eyes."

Zazie titled her head as she gazed at the human, "Is that a possibility?"

Meryl groaned and the hive smirked. "One week, Meryl," she said. "But if it looks worse anytime between now and next week, I will drag you to Knives and Conrad myself."

"Fine."

Silence fell between them and after several moments, Meryl allowed herself to relax. The horizon was growing brighter. The suns would be up soon.

"Knives treats you better than he treats anyone else here," Zazie said, voice soft. "Better than his own brother."

The first golden rays beamed across the horizon, bathing the pair in the morning light. Meryl watched the scene with a tired hardness in her eyes. "Don't be obtuse," she said. "He treats me well only because of what I carry. I'd be dead otherwise."