Double Helix

chapter nineteen
~ gospel ~

He moved soundlessly, entering the room with a fluid grace. Brief words of greeting went ignored as the free-born plant moved a chair next to the examination table. He sat comfortably beside her, casual. As though he belonged there next to her.

Meryl said nothing as she studied his profile. So alike in appearance, Knives and Vash were... but so utterly different. She wondered how they could be so different. What happened to make it so?

As she scrutinized the free-born plant she couldn't help but notice how well he had healed after his fight with his brother only days ago and the way his hair hung around his ears. He needed a trim. There was even stubble along his jaw that made him seem far more human than he deserved to be. It would be so much easier to hate him if he didn't look like Vash or have features like a normal human man.

Knives must have felt the intensity of her gaze because he chose that moment to finally look at her. Ice-blue found violet, and Meryl felt herself blush. The free-born plant noticed the ruddy hue and smirked at her, his eyes more amused than cruel, before turning his attention to the doctor and nurse.

Knives rarely spoke during the exams. He could see into Conrad's mind easily enough that he didn't need to voice many questions. If he did speak up, it was for Meryl's benefit. He enjoyed the expressions that played across her features when Conrad answered one difficult question after another. She loathed the old man and she did little to hide it. Even without the ability to read her thoughts, he could read her body language with ease.

Both Knives and Vash learned all about human physiology when they were children. Knives found the subject far more fascinating than his twin and often daydreamed about what life would be like once the SEEDs ships arrived at their destination. From that young age, Knives found the subtle complexities and fragility of life itself to be intriguing. It wasn't until he learned about Tessla that his fascination with biology all but disappeared. The first pregnant woman Knives could remember seeing was nearly a year after planet fall, and he had been less than enthusiastic at the sight. Knowing that the humans were reproducing gave him very little to cheer about, especially after he realized that his own kind were not reproducing at all.

For over a hundred years, he lived each day trying to figure out a way to get his brother to open his eyes and see the truth. He obsessed about it. He couldn't understand how his twin could look out upon the world and see things so differently. Where Knives saw filth, violence and selfishness — Vash saw community, friendship and potential. No matter what Knives showed Vash, no matter what he said to him, his twin would not see the world any other way.

But then again, neither would Knives.

As the free-born plant watched the nurse squeeze some lubricating jelly on Meryl's swollen belly, he felt that childhood fascination return. It was strange to watch her body change to accommodate the seedling; stranger still was watching her change as the seedling grew within her.

"It's in a good position today," the nurse commented as she eyed the monitor. "But it won't sit still. Amniotic fluid looks good."

The seedling twitched once more and shifted.

"Can you measure the femur?" Conrad asked.

The nurse frowned as her brows scrunched together, "It looks like thirty-seven and... wait... no, thirty-eight millimeters."

"Are you sure?"

"It keeps moving," she sighed. "It's difficult to get an accurate reading but..." She peered at the monitor for a moment, then, "It's thirty-eight."

Conrad nodded absently as he wrote down the number, "Get a picture of it, please, with the measurement."

"Yes, doctor."

"Cranium?"

Meryl shifted uncomfortably on the table, eliciting an annoyed glare from the nurse.

"You need to hold still."

Meryl rolled her eyes as she settled herself more comfortably on the table, not caring about the angry look the nurse continued to throw her way. Ever since the day Meryl referred to The Body as a group of 'plant worshipers,' the nurse had been distinctively cold toward her.

"I need the circumference of the cranium, please."

The nurse nodded, "Of course, doctor."

She pressed the transducer a little too firmly against Meryl's belly to get a clearer picture as she gazed at the monitor. "Looks to be 148 millimeters. I've got a photo of it, too."

The doctor said nothing as he jotted down the number. A soft chuckle caught his attention and he glanced over at the nurse, "What?"

"Well, if there was any doubt about the sex of the fetus you can kiss that goodbye now. She's not being shy anymore."

The doctor turned his attention toward the monitor and smiled in faint amusement, "No, she certainly isn't. Did you get a picture?"

"Yep."

Meryl pushed herself up a bit and strained her neck to get a look at the monitor, her curiosity getting the best of her. Her sudden movements caused the transducer to slide, giving everyone a view of her pelvic bone. Angela and Dr. Conrad said nothing at her sudden interest, though they did exchange a surprised glance.

"Lay back down, Meryl," the nurse said softly, "and I'll move the monitor so you can see it."

Meryl did as she was instructed while the nurse made good on her promise.

"Can you see okay?" Angela asked.

Meryl nodded, eyes glued to the screen.

The nurse smiled warmly and glided the transducer over her belly. "See this?" she asked as she pointed to the screen.

Meryl nodded.

"This is the head. You can just make out the face if you look hard enough," she point at a small, round bump near the head. "That's her shoulder," she said, then moved the transducer a fraction lower and pressed, "This isn't a leg, that's part of the umbilical cord. Here's one leg and you can see part of the other leg," she pointed with her index finger, "here."

Angela smiled at Meryl, "Can you see her?"

Another nod.

"She moves around a lot, doesn't she?"

"Yes."

"Does she keep you up at night?"

"Sometimes."

Angela nodded and smiled, showing off her most maternal look, "That's how it was with my son. He always seemed to become most active the moment I got to bed. I didn't get any sleep my last two weeks before the birth, he was moving around so much!"

Meryl said nothing as she studied the image on the monitor, a sad and distant look filtering across her eyes.

"Thanks," she mumbled quietly before lying back down. The room fell into a strange silence as Dr. Conrad and Angela finished their examination.

"I'd like the ultrasound pictures sent to me, " Knives said at last, a smirk tugging at his lips.

The nurse smiled at the free-born plant self-consciously, "Of course."

• • •

Vash let his eyes drift closed and breathed deeply. He recognized the sensations shivering up his nerves. His hands and feet tingled, his body felt relaxed, calm...

He was breathing xenon. Flexing his fingers, Vash resisted the urge to nap. Over the past couple of days, the captive plant had done a remarkable job at resisting the effects of the anesthetic. He was starting to develop a tolerance for the gas, albeit slight.

Fortunately, Knives found the side effects of the xenon to be most frustrating. It was difficult to carry on a conversation with someone who was always on the verge of falling asleep or distracted by delirium. Therefore, Knives ordered the dosage to be decreased. Vash felt the change in his body almost immediately. In a matter of hours he was better able to focus his mind and organize his thoughts. The dosage was just low enough that Vash finally had a chance to resist the psychological effects. Unfortunately, the dosage was still high enough to prevent him from utilizing his natural talents and force his way to freedom.

It was both a blessing and a curse.

Knives' visits became more frequent and they were longer in duration. The conversations between them always led to the same well-worn path. The argument was as vexatious as it was repetitive. Knives would make the point that the plants were all dying and what was being done had to be done to help continue their species. Vash, on the other hand, refused to accept such claims and went on to say that Knives had no right to play god with any species. If the plants were doomed to extinction then Knives had no one to blame but himself for causing the Great Fall. To this, Knives would refute, "Planet fall didn't cause so many of us to become sterile. It just made reproduction much more difficult. The root of our sterility is human manipulation."

It was a no-win battle. The words of their last conversation still echoed in Vash's mind.

'How is it we could be raised by the same woman and turn out so completely different?' Vash asked.

'Because I questioned her ideas and philosophies and you never did,' Knives said. 'I sought my own truth while you let her dictate what and how you think.'

The conversations were mentally and emotionally exhausting, yet Knives persisted. Vash knew why. He had always known why. Knives wanted Vash on his side. He wanted Vash to understand and to acknowledge that what Knives was doing was for the best. Truthfully, Vash did understand. He just refused to believe that it was their job to exterminate an entire species.

When he said as much, Knives surprised him.

'You're so small minded,' his brother told him. 'You think everything centers around the humans.'

'You hate them.'

Knives said nothing.

'You didn't always hate them, Knives.'

Knives smirked, 'Some have their uses.'

'Like Meryl?' Vash asked.

'It's amusing that you still think of her as human.'

What that statement meant exactly, Vash didn't know. But the way his brother grinned as the words flowed from his mind made Vash's stomach clench uncomfortably. He tried to press his brother for information, to learn more about what it was that was happening to her, but Knives was very resolute in is refusal to answer some of his more pointed questions. Vash expected his brother to be protective of the thing they put inside her, but he had a very distinct feeling that Knives also felt protective of her.

It reminded Vash of how he felt for Rem, but that just didn't seem possible.

During Knives last visit, Vash brought up Rem and Meryl, purposefully comparing the two in the hopes of learning more about what his twin thought of the little insurance girl. Knives had condemned all of humanity based on the actions of a few. Meryl was human, how did she fit into his world view? Was there any chance that he was letting go of some of his old hatreds?

'I always thought it strange how much they look alike - Meryl and Rem.'

The way Knives' lips curled into a wide grin at that statement made Vash's skin crawl.

'You think that strange, do you?' Knives asked. 'They're related, you know.'

'How..?'

'The purpose of the SEEDS project was to ensure the survival of humanity. Every healthy human involved in the project was required to donate biological material to ensure the survival of the species — spermatozoa and ovum — I'm sure you can figure the rest out for yourself.'

'But you hate her... why..?'

'She lied to us,' he said. 'She deliberately withheld the truth from us.'

'She wanted to protect us,' Vash said.

'She wanted to replace our mother! She denied us who we were by not telling us what we were from the very beginning!'

'No, that's not-'

'It is!' Knives insisted, 'She wanted us to be human. We're not human. She wanted us to believe her lies as though they were the truth but they're still lies!'

'But her truth is right, Knives. She didn't want any to die.'

'Her truth is right, is it?' Knives asked. 'Her truth is right for everyone? Including the plants? Or is it right for the humans? Don't be so naive! There is more than one version of the truth.'

'So, you are willing to destroy one species to save another. That's your truth?'

'Self-preservation is not evil, Vash. You're the only one here who thinks that way and it is completely illogical.'

'Then what the humans are doing is not evil.'

Knives smiled, 'I never said it was. However, who needs whom to survive on this planet? The humans need us. This isn't their Eden, it's ours. Yet, because of their need they're destroying us. Is that right? If we have the power to fight back, to ensure our own survival... shouldn't we?'

'Not at the cost of another species.'

'It is either us or them, Vash. And I choose us.'

A metallic whine filled the air as the door leading into his prison chamber opened. Vash blinked open his eyes as the air around him began to change from xenon to something closer to normal air. The change felt like a jolt of caffeine in his system as it yanked him from a groggy state filled with dream-like memories to full wakefulness. Someone had come to visit him, Knives or Conrad most likely. Both were unwelcome, so Vash closed his eyes again and waited for the familiar hum of electricity as the chamber was activated and the fog lifted.

"Hello, Vash."

Knives waited politely for his brother to turn toward him, but was not surprised to see Vash pointedly ignore him instead.

"I have some additional pictures to show you," he said.

Fingers moved deftly across the keypad and within a matter of seconds a black and white image appeared on the monitor. Knives continued to call up the ultrasound images and then tiled each picture on the screen. The older twin looked up to find his brother watching him, "I knew you were interested. You never could bluff very well."

"Why don't you let her visit?" Vash asked as he eyed the monitor.

"We've been over this before. I don't trust you yet, Vash."

Vash's eyes met Knives' gaze, "Why? Do you think I would hurt her?"

Knives paused, crossing his arms over his chest. "Not intentionally."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You're not yourself."

Vash peered at his twin pointedly. "You're keeping me prisoner in a plant chamber filled with xenon."

"I am speaking of your behavior before you came here," Knives said. At Vash's confused expression, he continued, "You forced your way into a core a few months ago. When our sister didn't give you the help you wanted, you forced your mind into hers. You violated her, Vash."

"I had to."

Knives sighed, frustrated. "You hurt her, Vash! And all of them know about it. All of them! Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"I needed to know where you were," he said. "I needed to try to stop you."

Jaw clenched and eyes hard, Knives said, "I don't want to argue with you about this again. You didn't have to do anything. You had Chapel with you."

"I should trust one of your lapdogs?" he asked.

"Better that than to mind rape one of our sisters."

Vash made no reply and Knives swore quietly under his he said, "You force your mind into one of our sisters and then you try to kill yourself and me? And you're wondering why I won't let you see Meryl?"

Silence fell between them, thick and heavy. After several long seconds, Vash looked at the monitors, his eyes slowly moving from one ultrasound image to another.

"How much longer...?" Vash asked.

"Soon."

"You're not going to tell me when?"

Knives' lips twitched, "Of course not."

"Is she still... awake?" he asked. "She hasn't started to get sick, has she?"

"No, she still seems quite healthy. Conrad expected her to be on life-support by now."

Vash clenched his jaw tightly, "I don't want her to die."

"Believe it or not Vash, but neither do I."

• • •

She entered the room with trepidation, her mind still whirling with questions as to why Legato would want to see her. In her hands she clutched the book he had given her weeks ago, the Book of Angels. When she heard that he wanted to see her she immediately remembered the book. She hadn't even thought about it since the day he gave it to her, though she did flip through it once.

The only page Meryl actually read was the cover page. There was an inscription written there to Legato by his mother:

To my blessing,
I pray this book opens your eyes as it has opened mine.
Happy 10th Birthday, Legato.
Love, Mama.

As Meryl quickly flipped through the rest of the book she noticed there were several pages that had passages underlined with notes written off to the margin. Legato had obviously loved this book, so Meryl felt it fitting to bring it back to him. Holding the book in a white knuckled grip, Meryl stared at Legato's still form. He laid motionless, the covers pulled up around him outlining the bizarre shape of his body. He appeared to be asleep, though Meryl suspected that it was more likely that he was meditating or praying. She was about to clear her throat when he turned his head to look at her, his eyes glittering as he smiled. Meryl immediately felt herself grow tense under his gaze.

"I was wondering if you would come," he said at last.

Meryl pursed her lips together to form a tight line. "I wasn't going to," she remarked dryly.

"I am thankful that you did, then." He glanced at the chair next to the head of his bed. "Sit."

She did so carefully, her movements appearing stiff and overly cautious. "Why did you ask for me?"

"I need to speak with you. I thought it best I explain some things, some truths."

She raised her eyebrow, but waited for him to continue. She had to will herself not to stare at the odd shape his body made under the blankets.

"You haven't read the book I gave you."

"No, but I brought it with me," she said. "I thought you might want it back."

He smiled at her in a friendly fashion, "I have already read it, but you still need to read it. It will help you to understand."

"You said that once before, but I don't see what it is I have to understand." She gestured toward her protruding belly as she spoke, "Why would it be important for me to understand anything at this point?"

"He wants to use you again, as a surrogate. You are more than what he hoped you would be. He wants you to be a mother."

"Use me again?" she asked. "I just want to go home! I don't want any of this."

"You would leave her here?" he asked. "Your daughter?"

Meryl opened her mouth to protest, to claim that the child wasn't really hers, but the words died in her throat. 'Leave her here?' She had never thought of it like that.

"You're accepting her," he said, the way his eyes peered into hers made her feel thin under his gaze. "I know this to be true."

He matched her silence with his own, allowing her time to absorb his words. Then, "If you read the book, you might understand everything better and I wouldn't have to explain it to you."

"Why are you telling me this?" she asked. "Is this some sort of sick game? One last barb for you to get in before you croak?"

His smile deepened, amusement evident in his eyes. "No."

"You certainly sound pleased, though."

"I am," he said. "Why wouldn't I be? You're the only one here who doesn't understand the significance of her position and role in the grand scheme of things."

"I understand well enough."

"You forget. I've been inside that little mind of yours, Meryl. I know you."

Meryl exhaled loudly and began to rise, her patience all but gone. It had been a mistake to come here. What was she thinking? She had actually felt sorry for the cripple after hearing Zazie tell her of the extent of his injuries. How dumb could she be? As she pushed herself off the chair, Legato's voice stopped her.

"You could be a mother to this child, Meryl."

AN: Xenon is a noble gas that is odorless, colorless and nontoxic. It occurs naturally in air and is used in anesthesia, light bulbs and as window insulation. Recently, clinical trials in the UK have shown that xenon acts as a neuroprotectant, helping to protect damaged nerve cells from dying. Such properties would make xenon very effective in treating stroke victims or people who have suffered brain and/or spinal cord injuries. Side effects observed from using xenon gas include: lightheadedness, euphoria, heavy feeling, and a tingling of the extremities.

Just, FYI. ~_^